i wanna believe in forever

love is a strong feeling. love is magic. love is the most wonderful feeling in the world. love can kill you and then bring you back to life. love is crazy. love is a bitch. love turns you upside down.

i first knew what love really is at a very tender age. messed up with love. died because of love, but i was brought back to life because of love. i’ve lost so much because of love. and i’m so scared of anymore loss that i have to face later in life.

i gave up because of love. i fear to love again. but then again, love gives me the courage to take the risk and to not give up. love confuses me, but at the same time, love takes charge of my decision.

love is not found, love is built. you’ll never know if the person you’re meeting for the first time is the love of your life. i wonder if i can choose to fall in love. truth is, i can’t. you can’t choose to fall in love or to not fall in love. you just fall. you can’t even choose to stop being in love. love will find you.

you don’t always fall in love with the prince charming or a beauty queen. love doesn’t know perfection. you can still find love in the middle of imperfections. funny how we set standards and qualification of our mr/miss right, but at the back of our mind, the person we truly love will always be an exception.

i believed in love. but love betrayed me. but in the end, i keep believing. i got myself heartbroken, and i refused to believe that someday, someone will prove me that love is not all that bad. but then again, with this fragile heart of mine, i keep believing.

if love is a game, play it right. why cheat on love game? why do people try so hard to win the love game only to eventually forget the pleasure and victory after winning? love is something to be cherished forever. forever doesn’t mean a year, not 2 years, not even 10 years. forever means forever even after the day you die.

if i am to be in love again, i really wish it is forever. i’m sick of another heartbreak, sick of another teary moment, sick of lies, sick of trying hard only to fall on my face again, sick of getting sick with hopeless relationship, just sick. but i’m scared of getting my hope goes up high. traumatized much.

i swear i can write longer but nah. i don’t know why i’m feeling what i feel now. i wrote this, and feel this while listening to i’m in here by sia. damn, i am so easily affected by sappy songs. and i think, part of this is because of the hormones. blame pms. insecurity and emotional instability always get the best of me during this time.

p/s : untuk effect lebih mendalam lagi mencengkam ketika membaca, read while listening to i’m in here by sia.