Thursday, November 27, 2008
and now, Mumbai! i clicked on the net to find out more about this latest attack in mumbai...
GULP. and GULP!!
the horrible scene took place around colaba area. gotta believe this, i stayed in colaba for the whole 1 week about 6 months ago!!! scary huhhhh??!!!!! as i read the news, all the restaurants and hotels involved are very VERY VERY familiar to me! shit kan? imagine if this scary event were to take place when i was there in mumbai, shit, scary mannn!
this is the famous taj hotel. the picture was taken by me, 6 months ago. isn't it lovely? it's a well-known luxurious hotel in mumbai. we actually went inside the hotel, it was fabulous!
and look at this picture! scary kannnn??and trust me, the hotel we were staying in was just behind this taj hotel. omg, just imagine how lucky i am. thank god there wasn't anything like this happening during my stay in colaba.
and this is Shivaji Terminus, the biggest train terminal in mumbai. again, this is the picture of that train terminal taken by me 6 months ago. yes, this train terminal was where i first step my foot in mumbai.
and look at this picture. dead bodies all around. i can't believe it. i was there! damn. scary gile sumpah tak tipu.
the gunmen also attacked a few restaurants. Mumbai's Cafe Leopold and Cafe Mondegar. we've been there, pagi ptg siang mlm during my stay in mumbai. nice place to hang out, majority of the customers were mat salleh, no wonder la kan. and i can't believe the gunshot event took place in these 2 lovely cafes too. again, thank god i am now in bangalore safe and sound.
the world is no longer a safe place to live. anywhere at all. terrorist attack happens almost everywhere. why? why can't we let the world population live in peace? what's with the endless attacks? why do we make human life that worthless? i'll be staying in india for another 4.5 years. it has only been a year since i live in india, and there were like, erm, at least 4 cases of bombing attack in india during my stay. delhi, ahmedabad, bangalore and mumbai. wow, that's quite a number.
dear family and friends, do pray for me to have a safe stay in india.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
oh we had a dinner last nite. a dinner between the doctors, our seniors and my batch at somewhere near my teaching hospital, Baptist Hospital. well, it was a dinner, a dinner is supposed to be all formal and proper lalala kan? so i chose to wear my baju kurung moden la and i thought everyone else pon pakai lagi lawa2 la kan. but tgk2 orang lain pakai very casual, jeans etc etc. what? i had no idea that it was a casual dinner. i was wearing baju kurung and baz with her baju kebaya, siap dgn clutch okkkaayyy! damn, ni gile mencapub. hahah mane la kitorang tau orang lain sume pakai jeans. pergh, amek kau kan dh jadi pompuan melayu terakhir. dah tak pasal2 orang kate kitorang smangat gile hahahaha pape je la janji aku tak kacau orang kan kan kan.
the dinner started at around 8. as majority of the doctors are christian, so they started off with their prayers to Jesus. pergh, this is my first time kot pegi function yg start dgn prayers to Jesus. well, as much as they respect our religion, kite pon buat la the same thing kan. then, one of the docs played the piano and another doc sang a song. doctors okkaaayyyy! next, 2 female doctors plak buat performance. sorang main guitar, sorang nyanyi. pergh, padahal muke nerd je, tapi main guitar kot? doctor kot? specialist kot? wah. kagum kagum. and my favourite surgeon, Dr. Renol pon nyanyi lagu Ice ice baby. cool kan? and my OBG doctor plak nyanyi lagu hindustan, gile ar suare sedap gilerrrr! they are cool doctors okkkaayy! i thought i'm gonna be the first cool doctor (hahaha apekah?) but cool doctors do exist! i love the doctors here seriously. they're friendly, very dedicated but cooool enough to joke around with the students :) unlike the doctors in our college, so not friendly.
then, ade la performance from the students plak. ala cam biase la, dak2 band. obviously, no participation from the girls. aahhh, time2 camni la i rindu nk main guitar balik. baz dh keco2 nk buat performance pasni. hahaha, well, die ngaku suare die sedap. ermmm bolela, setaraf ngan suare i la. hahahahaha. ish nyesal tak bawak jer guitar datang india ari tuh. abah la ni, tak bagi kite bawak guitar sbb die nk main. cis cis!
on our way back to apartment, baz dh sibuk2 practice nyanyi. hahahahah tkleh blah kannn minah ni. kononnye i'll play the guitar and she'll sing a song. dan dan terus die nk bli guitar. hahahah aduyai. i really need to brush up my skill. oh i soooo miss time kat kms where i used to jam with the girls. with ili, lina, fiona, and uja. ili the drummer, lina the guitarist, uja the keyboardist and fiona the singer. okay la, since lina lagi hebat main guitar so i pon jadi la bassist. ni mmg smpai senget2 bahu sbb berat gile kot bass tu. hahaha take turn la. ade time main guitar gak. gile rindu okkkk! wpon masing2 pon tkde la gempak amat tp cam layan jerrrr! best gak per kan kan kan! wpon tmpat jamming tu hodoh lagi busuk tapi u girls rock my socks laaa! ili berjaya memartabatkan kaum wanita as a female drummer wahahahahahha. sumpah rindu nk sasau dgn kau, ili. kau mmg the best sasau partner alive! hahahaha msti kau rindu mulut puaka aku kannn! hahahaha
gone were the days. dulu guitar was my bestfriend cewah. asal pnat blaja je kat kms mule la tangan gatal2 petik guitar. pdhal baru blaja 5 minit. lina pon slalu kunjung mengunjungi dan ziarah menziarahi bilik aku sbb nk main guitar. pergh, minah sorang ni jgn main2. ni mmg dewa dewi ar. arrr rindu. sini tkde geng kot? lagi berkarat la skill aku. pesal la korang tak dtg sini eh! kalau tak bole aku terus mengkematukan jari jemari aku! rindu wehhhhh!
tkpe baz, mari kite merealisasikan impian kite bersama. hahahah mmg kau ngan aku kaki capub sedunia, tiada was-was lagi. syabas!
p/s : pnat cari gmbar jamming kat kms, rupenye time reformat the laptop sume pics dh terdelete! aduyai! kalau tak bole upload pics2 selebet kite jamming kat studio jamming yg lengkap berbendera malaysia hahah. rindu, tak tipu!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
who are you to say this and that about me? do u know me perfectly? do u know me from top to toe? just because i'm lack of that one thing it doesn't mean that i'm that naive, stupid and ignorant about my own religion!
please lah, mind ur words ok! i'm open for any advices because i am very much aware that i'm not perfect like u but please, no harsh-and-makan-dalam words ok? i agree that u're a goood muslim but i THINK u've got to work a little bit more on your relationship with the people around u, and of course, your communication skills suck big time, sorry to say that. it really was.
people love to assume. and a lot of people assumed me for doing this and that. wow, looks like everybody knows me perfectly eh? i'm not gonna waste my time listing the things that i really did and things that i did not do. what's the point? u may think it's just another episode of me pretending to be an angel. so, if u really think u know me that perfect, then be it. and labelling someone is another in-thing isn't it? thanks for the nickname that i've got. maybe u should give one for yourself too.
i'm sick of the hypocrites around me. i'm suffocated. pretending is like the only thing they're good at. if you dunno me, then stop acting like u do. i may not be perfect but i dun deserve those harsh thoughts and words. so, BACK OFF!
p/s : only to whom it may concern.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
first thing first, flight tickets from bangalore to new delhi for me and my family dah settle. but still i need to have further discussion with the travel agency about the hotel and how to get around in delhi. we definitely gonna hit taj mahal by the end of this year! the weather is expected to be cool (max is 20 degree celcius kot?) and a friend of mine said that seeing taj mahal is like seeing a hugeee postcard, heee i can't wait! my mom plak dh ckp awal2 die nk shop for sarees to make baju kurung etc etc. well, woman, biase ar tuu! hahahah
next, what am i up to these days? lectures and clinical posting. i just couldn't make my life more interesting at this moment. especially now that i desperately need to save up some money hahahah. lectures are of no fun, exception to forensic medicine lecture. yeah i do find it interesting. imagine u found a dead body, and u cant even tell whether the dead body belongs to a man or woman, which race, age etc etc. but with forensic medicine, all these informations are possible to obtain! coool kan? i mean, it may not sound dat coool to u but once u go through the books and listen to the lectures, it is coool. even a single tattoo mark can tell u a lot of information. hahaha the rest? pharmacology - yucks. microbiology - so so laahh. pathology - best best! but pharmacology mmg cannot go laaa...
oh clinical posting, i'm loving it. most of my friends find it boring and tiring. well, it is tiring, but to me it is damn interesting man! i get to deal with real patients. i get to diagnose people. i get to see patients with splenomegaly(enlargement of spleen), hepatomegaly(enlargement of liver), thyroid swelling, ulceration, hernia etc etc. ahhh sooo coool! and taking up medicine is definitely not a mistake. i love it totally.
imagine if i were to take engineering?
pergh, gile ape. physics mmg cannot go la.
too much figures will definitely make me go mad, though i love mathematics. *yes, i was about to take up this field*
again, too much numbers, boring.
gosh, i suck at art. *i specifically mean drawing okay, nk lukis tige segi pon hodoh*
well, i do love to write hmmpphhh.. or
oh oh a big YES! no no i dun have golden voice but i love singing and i love to play guitar *gosh, dh lame gile tk main and my fingertips pon dh kembali lembut okkkaayy! hahaha*
hahaha nak nak!
oh whatever, i guess i'm destined to serve the nation as a doctor. insyaAllah. :)
i guess im a total lonesome here in bangalore. it's not like i dun have friends or what. but i would say a large number of malaysian students kat sini are romantically attached dgn student kat sini jugak. there's every chance to see couples here and there, tak kire la, senior ke, my batch ker, junior ke..bersepah! and my boyfriend is like sooooo faraway! when orang lain buat keje together, study same, pegi class same2, kluar jalan same2, teman each other pegi bayar bil la pegi pasar la draw duit kat bank la, i do it all alone. fine, tkde la everything pon buat sorang2, but i'm not the type who likes to depend on other ppl if i wanna do something, so i dun mind la buat bnde tu sendiri n sorang2. but, but bile tgh sorang2 skali ternmpak plak 2-3 couples at the same time tgh suke2 ria, rase lain mcm ar. pnah rase tak? cam rase, geram pon ade, tension pon ade, jeles pon ade.
earlier this day, i went to the bank nk buat demand draft utk bayar sewa umah. dhla bank tu jauh, jln la kaki sorang2. ditemani my mp4 semate2. pstu tak pnah plak buat DD ni, so cam terkapai2 sorang2 kat bank tu but settle la gak at last. but time tgh terkapai2 tu la i saw a few couples, pegi bank same2, naik motor siap. aku nie, jln kaki sorang2 je. tp i berjaye la buat muke kental, muke tkde hal. padahal.........waaaaaaaaaaa. jeles jeles! dush dush!
well, i guess that sum up everything for today, and a few days back. nothing really interesting kan? heheheh till then, bubbbye!
p/s : this is the song yg teman kite time jln sorang2 pegi bank tadi, dedicated to my little dinosour! i so miss u! :(
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, and to ask them to play and read your blog
Starting time: 3.44 pm
Name: nur zahirah binti ahmad tarmizi
Sisters : 4
Brothers : 1
Shoe size :6/7 (baiklah, saye mmg kaki gajah)
Height : 158 cm
Where do you live : section 9, shah alam :D terbaik!
ever been on a plane : eh tak pnah la, datang india naik sampan okay!
Swam in the ocean : yeah, love it love it!
Fallen asleep at school : jgn kate school, dh besa panjang ni pon same jer hahaha
Broken someone's heart : i dun have heart of an angel, yes i did!
Fell off your chair : dulu slalu, time skola rendah n lower form..kwn2 suke tarik krusi time kite nk duduk.cis!
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : yes
Saved e-mails : very rare
What is your room like : luas and loving it!
What's right beside you : bantal peluk panjang imported from malaysia :)
What is the last thing you ate : self made nasik goreng. skip OBG talk sbb nk balik umah n masak. kebuluran tapi mahu berjimat cermat!
Chicken pox : mase std 6, grounded!
Sore throat : occasionally.
Broken nose : hahaha funny la!
believe in love at first sight : mmg tak. attracted, maybe. but not love.
Like picnics : with good food and great people, yes!
The last person you danced with : my boyfriend, bazilah! hahahaha
Last made you smile : my boyfriend gak, azar syazwan kesayangan!
You last yelled at : ahhh...tak igt la.
Today Did You,Talk to someone you like : talked to my friends n my dinosour
Kissed anyone : today, tak!
Get sick : sehat :)
Talk to an ex : hahahah mmg tak. nk kene ker?
Miss someone : very much smpai temperature naik. btul tak tipu.
Who do you really hate : erm, ade lah. hahaha
Do you like your hand-writing : yes! mcm doctor hodohnye!
Are your toe nails painted : not now
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : any, asalkan sedap.
What color shirt are you wearing now : mustard
Are you a friendly person : well, most of the time kot?? but i cn be really quiet when i dun feel comfortable with the crowd.
Do you have any pets : back home, yes, cats n ikan koi.
Do you sleep with the TV on : nope. bile nk tido, i'll make sure i sleep on my bed without anything else on my bed, and with lights off. tido mesti berkualiti.
What are you doing right now : kill time?
Can you handle the truth : i cant handle lies.
Are you closer to your mother or father : daddy! i'm daddy's girl! my mom garang arrr, scary!
Do you eat healthy : never bother, seriously.
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : tah mane tah
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : boyfriend and close friends.
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : loud kot? silence kills.
Are you confident : erm depends la. layan je.
5 things I would do if I were a billionaire,
-travel around the world together with my family
-perfect perfect pre-wedding, wedding, and post-wedding party :D
-ape lagi, shop for designer tops etc etc uh oh high heels! yes, buat library kasut.
-hantar my little soldiers pegi blaja tinggi2 (my adik2 yg berderet)
-buy anything that my parents wish for
5 things I was doing 10 years ago, (i was 11)
-pakai spek bulat (ye saye mmg rabun)
-main netball ganas2 smpai berlumpur2 serious tak tipu
-agak tomboyish laa...pakai seluar dlm baju kurung, abis kelas cabut kain pstu main kejar2 la ape la hahaha comel la plak.
-pegi kedai jauh sorang2 sbb nk beli chocolate(kalau mak tau msti kene marah)
-gile mel-c spice girls smpai suro org panggil kite mel-c malaysia hahahaha sengal
5 of my bad habits
-study last minute, dah la, dh pnat berazam nk berubah, give up ar.
-ponteng class aduyai
-pantang pintu bilik bukak if kite tgh lepak bilik grrrr! wpon tak mengadap pintu, kite tau pintu tu bukak ke tak, if terbukak automatic terannoyed tatau la kenape.
-tido without removing my make up.
-beli baju pstu pakai skali 2 jer or bli baju pstu tatau bile nk pakai. ish.
5 places i've lived/am living
-ss19, subang jaya
-section 4, shah alam
-section 9, shah alam (till now)
-gokula, bangalore, india
5 persons to be tagged
-open tagging, sape rase die cantik and hensem, sile buat.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
ever heard of hymenoplasty? no? no worries. i'll make it crystal clear to u. hymenoplasty is hymen restoration surgery. it is meant to restore virginity. what's hymen? hymen is a fold of mucosal membrane that covers the external vaginal opening. u get what i mean right? hymen is usually damaged or torn during the first sexual intercourse. and the tearing of hymen is famously believed as an indicator dat a girl is no longer a virgin. yes, it's true to some extent, but hymen can also be damaged through sports, improper usage of tampons etc etc. so, that famous belief doesn't always hold true in all cases .
virginity of a woman is very much valued especially in religion point of view. u don't wanna marry a girl who's no longer a virgin isn't it? so, technology comes with a solution to this. HYMENOPLASTY. it's a medical procedure that allows re-virginization. i'm not gonna go any further with the procedure and all, but this medical procedure has sparked controversy, yes, mainly on its ethical values. and that's what i'm interested about.
mainly, those who seek for hymenoplasty are the ones who are trying to appease religious, cultural and social beliefs. yeah, especially those who are getting married with the hope not to upset the future husband with the fact that she is no longer a virgin. isn't it a form deception? you're about to get married with someone u think u're gonna spend ur whole life with, and yet u're trying to deceive him by undergoing hymenoplasty.
so, what do u think? is it appropriate? is it not? in other case, maybe the girl needs to undergo this controversial medical procedure because her hymen is torn due to sports, horse-riding etc etc (other than sexual intercourse). afraid that she'll be mistaken for a non-virgin, she decides to cover things up with hymenoplasty. partly, i still think that it is a form of deception. but hey, her intention is good. so, what do u think?
in Malaysia, i believe there is no such thing as hymenoplasty (or is it there already?) but this form of business is growing rapidly both in demand and popularity in majority of Middle East countries and Latin America. i personally think that the existence of hymenoplasty brings no good especially to the current and future population. imagine what will happen to the world if every girl can afford to undergo this surgery, financially. i guess, every girl will have a blast during their teenage life, and when they're about to settle down with someone special, they'll re-virginize themselves. poor husband.
on contrary, what if the girl wants to turn a new leaf and leave behind everything she had in the past? if she tells her future husband about the truth, there's every possibility that he can't accept it though she really regret what she did. in this case, is it acceptable to seek for hymenoplasty? i personally think that partly, she has a strong reason. she doesn't want to ruin the relationship, probably with the most ideal guy she ever met. but still, it's another form deception. what we usually call as white lie. what say you?
im not sure if u find this topic interesting. it is, to me. so, what do u think? any comments?
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
too much of a good thing is not good. maybe i care too much about other people. and it is disappointing to know that they dun actually care if u're okay or not. they dun bother to know. even if they know u're facing a hard time, they dun bother to be there for u.
this is worth a lesson ; not to expect too much from someone else. the best motivator lies within you, yes, yourself.
Monday, November 10, 2008
about 2-3 days back, budak2 baru yg akan join kitorang as 2nd year medical students dgn selamatnye smpai ke bangalore. well, i've no problem at all. in fact, am looking forward to make new friends. tapi, some shit happened. not to me, to my close friends. tapi agak annoying arrrr so i'm driven to write about some ppl's idiocy
okay, these 2 friends of mine, N and B ni terpakse la pindah duduk sebilik sbb nk memuatkan bebudak baru datang ni. bebudak baru ni kalo nk ikutkan tkde umah, tp kite pon ade la gak common sense kan, takkan nk suke suki dok satu bilik sorang time org lain dun even have a place to stay. so, B n N ni dgn baik hatinye kosongkan satu bilik kat umah dorg utk bagi budak baru ni masuk. first day, sume ok. 2nd day, sume ok. 3rd day, jeng jeng jeng.
camnie, hsemates baru dorg ni ade 2 org. Limah and Joyah (bukan name sebenar). Joyah ni ok-ok je la. takde wat hal. Limah ni plak ade sorang bestfriend, yg jugak budak baru datang, name die Senah. nk dijadikan cite, Senah ni dpt dok sebilik ngan another friend of mine, R. Si Senah ni katenye dh bertunang. so nk dijadikan cite, ade satu hari ni. N lepak2 kat umah R time lunch, skali dgn hsemates R yg lain. makan lunch bersame2 beramai2. kebetulan, time tu diorang mkn skali bersama 2 org kawan lelaki. bukan buat ape tu. terang benderang siap. mkn2 je pon. tiba2, Senah masuk rumah, nmpak je budak laki 2 org ni, die panjang slack gile babi. lepas tu, terus masuk bilik die(yg juge bilik R) n terus hempas pintu. tak lame lepas tu...
"R!meh sini jap", ceh, Si Senah ni pandai2 nk panggil org cam panggil kuli.
"sape budak 2 org tu?ape die buat kat sini?bile nk balik?", Si Senah sambung lagi.
"oh,diorang dtg mkn lunch. dorg nk balik dh", R mmg sopan santun ar.
"awak tau tak saye dh bertunang, saye kene hormat etc etc", Si Senah ni bising2 plak cam rumah tu die yg punye.
fine, kalau ye pon tak puas hati, camtu ke cara nk berckp ngan org? dhla kau baru kenal org, duduk menumpang plak tu, ade hati nk bising2 camtu? kalau ye pon tk selesa ngan cara diorang, bole je kot kau ckp elok2. just because u're 2-3 years older, it doesn't mean that u dun have to respect us. please, sape kata org lagi tua tak perlu respect org muda?
oh, lepas tu. Si Senah ni pegi umah Si Limah(umah N n B la ni). gossip2 + kutuk2 la tu. tak sedar2 menumpang, ade hati nk mengutuk si pemberi tumpang. the next thing we knew was, Si Senah ngan Si Limah ni bawak cite, kate N ngan B ade patung kat umah. siap ade rantai ala2 Rome Purba (what the heck kan?) and pstu claim N ngan B ikut ajaran sesat. hello, aku ni pegi umah diorang hari2 kot, tk pnah plak jmpe mane2 patung berantai ala2 Rome Purba (ni sumpah bodoh nk mati) . B ngan N ni dh terpinga2 dok pikir celah mane plak dorang bela patung kat umah tu. takkan teddy bear B is mistaken as patung berantai ala2 Rome Purba kot? ni mmg bikin panas. B ngan N sikit punye baik layan dorg, dpt plak cite bukan2 camtu. apekah?
pstu tadi pagi, aku n B nmpak the 2 BFF ni pegi jmpe Prof Sudha (our dean). N siap nampak BFF ni sedu sedan time jmpe dean. apekah? complaint psl ajaran sesat ker?wakakakakkakakak. mmg gile tak masuk akal n disrespectful la. i know my friends very well la. though diorang tak nmpak alim and all, tapi takdela smpai dh tak kenal tuhan sendiri. and tkde la smpai nk fitnah org lain ade ajaran sesat ke ape. kalau diorang tu elok sgt, yg dok nk reka2 cite camtu ape kes? org kalau cukup baik, cukup adab, tkdenye mase nk buat cite camtu.
oh another thing, ni R cite kat kitorang. memandangkan bilik R ni ditakdirkan sempit, maka katil kat bilik tu dirapatkan ar nk jimat space. tp Si Senah ni suke suki die kate die takleh tido kalau katil rapat. so, berbekalkan segala kebijaksanaan dan kepandaian otak, maka Senah pon menseparatekan katil mereka dgn kadar SEJENGKAL, dan Senah pon bole tido nyenyak. rase tak annoying di situ? sejengkal je pon. kecah btul Senah ni.
tah la, aku ni baru la nk menanamkan impression yg baik kepada kawan2 yg baru smpai ni. mmg la dorang ni lg tua dr kitorang. bukannye kitorang ni tak reti2 nk respect org yg lagi besar, tapi kalau org yg lagi besar tu perangai cam haprak, jgn harap la kitorang nk respect. lantak la kau dh tunang ke, dh kawin ker, dh jadi janda ke, kalo dh name biadap, pegi mati same kau.
moral of the story is, kalau awak tu orang baru datang, menumpang plak tu, buat la care menumpang, tu pon nk kene ajar ke? otak letak kat buku lali ke kak? baru 2-3 hari kat sini, kau dh buat drama melayu, lg 2-3 tahun, mcm2 la filem melayu kau kat sini ye kak? gile annoying.
k la, aku nk pegi tolong B ngan N pegi cari patung berantai ala Rome Purba kat umah dorang. wakakakkaka. misteri sey. nak kene cari gak patung misteri yg menjadi sebutan kakak2 biadap ni. wakakakakakkaakkaka.
p/s : to those yg tak tau psl cite ni, msti pening bace ape tah aku tulis kan. hahahaha sorry susunan sedikit tahi tp aku malas nk betulkan. korang phm2 sendiri je la. tak paham sudah name kau dollah. ok bye.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
everyday pon tkde letrik, apekah???!! nk jadi cam last time ke? time aku final, time aku struggle nk abiskan syllabus, time tu la tkde letrik! then nak tak nak, kene gak blaja with lilin! kalau ikutkan, buat hape? buat tambah rabun aku jer! tapi, dah mmg time time tu gak final, bile lagi nk bace nyeee? terpakse arrr blaja dlm gelap!! babs! sumpah bengang!
pstu skarang, die start balik! smalam tkde letrik! td pagi tkde letrik, smpai aku nk tido pon tak sedap! paling latest, tadiii! time bersiap nk keluar!!!!! bole takkk, make up dkt pintu umah, sbb nk amek lighting dari luar! mmg super sial!
mmg emo! mmg!! biar ar korang nk kate ape! yg penting aku dh bengang, jadi homeless pon dpt gak pakai lampu jalan! ni rumah elok2, dhla bayar satu bilik tu bapak mahalnye, bole plak tkde letrik! babs!!!!
oh lagi satu, sewa umah nnti naik by 40%! WTFFF!!!!! tak cukup2 mahal lagi kerrR? kat msia umah lg cantik pon sewa tak semahal kat sini! cibai punye bangalore! kalo camni, ni yg aku rase nk beli papan pstu buat rumah sendiri! tak pon duduk jer kat slum area! satu bilik yg blom tentu besa pon rs 7000! bongok nk mati!!! itu baru SATU BILIK! damn! cekik darah orang! arrrggghhhh bab^ punye bangaloreee!
*itulah die luahan perasaan utk malam ini. sekian terima kasih!*
Thursday, November 6, 2008
recently, a good friend of mine lost her beloved mother. she's my housemate to be specific. though her mother has got nothing to do with me, i do feel the pain of losing someone very significant in life. but it can never be comparable to the pain that she's feeling. but i very much believe that she's strong enough to face this. insyaAllah.
losing a person, whether the person dies or the person just walk away from our life, is indeed painful. but without us realizing it, losing someone we love the most teaches us a lot of things. it teaches us to be strong, to accept things, and to be independent. sometimes, losing someone is the only way we can learn. gotta believe it.
i can write based on my experience. i used to have a good friend. everything went well at the beginning of our friendship. not until i know his true colors. he was VERY hot-tempered, a control freak, he swears all he wants and he promised a lot, and i kept hoping hopelessly for him to fulfill his promises. because i love the friendship, and because he was someone very significant in my life, i patiently waited and hoped for him to change. but nothing changes. not even my tears can change him. not even my words. nothing can change him. he was cold hearted. and still he refused to let go the friendship. and so i waited, i stupidly told myself to have faith in him. but my patience was useless, and finally, my faith towards him was tarnished. this time, i gotta prioritize myself above anything else. we were through.
yes, it wasn't a good ending. it wasn't what we both wanted. but i had to do it. i believe, that's the only way he can learn. and me too, i've learnt a lot too. i'm now glad that he realized his mistakes. not to say that i've committed no mistakes, i did too. it was a lesson for us both. to list down the things that i've learnt, it'll require me pages. i mean it. but, it's all in the past. i can't turn back time. even if i could, i would never want to go back and fix things up. let it remains how it is now. i am now fine. though it was tough at the beginning, i managed to get through it. i managed to get over it. that's what "losing" taught me. i am now stronger than i was before. thanks to you.
think about it.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
well, we were introduced to a surgeon, Dr. Renol. and guess what, he is sooooo coooooool! i fall in love with him! i mean, i fall in love with his passion as a surgeon. the first module of my clinical posting is surgery and he'll be the one in charge to teach us surgery. seriously, i can't wait. or is this a normal symptom of learning a new thing? ahahaha, i HOPE this enthusiasm doesn't fade after some time. i HOPE it'll remain there. oh yes, Dr Renol is fun, but he's so serious while teaching. that's because he emphasized so much that the responsibility as a doctor is VERY big. doctors play with people's life. and therefore, when it comes to study, we MUST take it seriously. yes, he's right. and at this very moment, i kinda fall in love more deeply with the field i'm in - medicine. and i can't wait to become a doctor. *waahhhh! is this really me??*
tomorrow i'll be going to the hospital again. we'll have our clinical posting every alternate day. i can't wait to deal with real living patients. yeah i mean, before dis, i only get to dissect the cadaver(mayat) and i can't wait to do that on living human being. *am not sure if we ever get to do this in the near future* btw, let's just hope.
oh remember about the radiating chest pain that i've been feeling all this while? yesterday, i finally went to see a doctor *setelah dibrain wash by azar* i told the doctor about the pain i've been feeling. i told him that the pain radiates to my left arm and in fact, i felt a little pain on my left forearm as well! the bad thing about being a medical student is, you can guess your own illness and it's damn scary mannnnn!!! chest pain which radiates to the left arm is the symptom of angina pectoris (which can lead to coronary heart disease) and i can't stop thinking if i'm having one!!ergghhh
as expected, i was then required to do get my ECG done. *ECG is electro cardiogram, to check for ur heart activity* seriously, it has never cross my mind that i would ever have to get myself all wired with that scary machine. then, the data was printed and i scrutinized the data, based from what i know, it looked normal but i wasn't all convinced *yela, mane tau ilmu tak cukup* so i went back to the doctor's office together with the data. he analyzed the data, and i was praying hard that my heart is normal.
"ur heart is normal", finally, he said that.
sumpah, senyum sendiri sampai ke telinga. rase nk lompat2 serious tak tipu.
"so what's the problem?what causes the pain i'm feeling?", i asked the doc with curiousity.
"your heart is normal, so there's no problem with you", that was really annoying! i get it that my heart is normal. but there must be something else that causes the pain. that's what i want to know! *geram!!* but i just kept silent. *sumpah geram!*
i walked off from his office with the medication recommendation from him. though i felt annoyed, at least was relieved to know that my ECG result was normal. i went straight to the pharmacy to get my medication and back home afterwards. at home, i checked the tablets that i got. guess what, it was PARACETAMOL and there was another tablets *ape tah name die!*. but PARACETAMOL? oh doctor ni sakit kot? i don't think i need paracetamol *or famously known as panadol* sumpah, dahla geram tak dpt tau the real cause of my pain, and now he gave me panadol which i already have tons! ergghhh! what a doctor! panadol for chest pain, sooo cooool!!
i swear i dun wanna be a doctor like him. just because my ECG is normal, it doesn't change the fact that i do feel the pain on my chest. i dun want my patients to regret seeing me. conclusion is, i have to be serious in my studies, from now on. *yes i will!* hahahaha i will, i will. i may not look serious enough, but well, i will be serious in my studies after this.
that's all for now.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
 Real name: = nur zahirah ahmad tarmizi (cahaya yang berseri-seri a.k.a jelita!)wahahahaha tak caye pegi check! *nadia, jgn jeles!*
 Nickname: ira, intan(by family, relatives, neighbours - long story!) and zera.
 Status: janda berhias! oh tak tak, im taken hehe
 Zodiac Sign: little miss dreamy - Pisces!
 Gender: takkan pondan kot?
 Age: 21
 Height: range 157 cm! *short!*
 Weight: current weight is 51. usually it's 47-48. been eating a lot lately.
 Do you like yourself: depends.
 Right or left: right handed.
 Are you a freak: depends.
 Hair: reddish brown kot?
 Skin: erm..sawo matang ke?
 Allergic: allergic to morning. am not a morning person!
 What are you doing now: just got back from class!
 What will you doing 1 hour later: urrmm..tido dgn aman damai kot. aktiviti wajib di ptg hari.
About ur FAMILY
 Live with mother/father/parents/family: whole family. but currently away from 'em.
 Siblings(included you): 6. am the 2nd one.
 Eldest: kak long who is 27
 Youngest: baby who is 11
 Love/hate your family: i only have one family to love. and yes, i really love my family!
 You found your another half: in kms. hahahaaha.
 If yes, who is he/she: my little dinosour!!
Who you want he/she to be: - want him to be a cardiologist la..dat's his ambition :) amin.
 Time(s) you in relationship: serious relationship - twice.
 Ever woo boy/girl: wooo woooooo mstila penah! tipu gile tak pnah!
 Anyone woo you before: ni lagi tipu kalau tak! wahaahahahhaahhaha
 Did anything wrong to your other half: urrrmmm...yes and forgiven already.
 What was/were the wrong you had done: byk..example..urrrmmm..tarik bulu kaki smpai cabut!wahahahaha
 Ever argue with your other half: duhh!
 You with your other half since: haisshhh....ade la dulu2..some time after abis IB...
 Are you straight/lesbo: BI!!hahahahahha
 Reasons you love your other half: sbb die dinosour sayeee!
 You and your other half in which stage: stage 1
 You woo he/she or he/she woo you: . we woo woo each other la! tp i woo woo secretly la! hahaahaha
 Ever think of marry he/she: urrrmm..it's in God's hand..i cn only hope for the best :D
 Your first best friend: first bestieeee..urrmm...syahirah kot...when i was in std 1 till std 3...lost contact sudah!
 Your first enemy: none la.
 The friends you love the most: my seseri girls, and my shah alam sweeeties!
 The enemy you hate the most(1only): none. sorry.
 Your most beautiful girl friend: . adus ramai la.
 Your most handsome boy friend: haissshh...mane leh ckp! nnti kantoi la!
 The kind of girl you hate the most: tooo dependent and emotionless.
 The kind of boy you hate the most: hot tempered
 You fall in love with your close friend before: urrmmm..tak kot.
 Your best friend is your ex-lover: hahhahahaa mmg tak!
 If your friend backstabbing you: wait for ur turn darling!
 If your friend betray you: i'll never trust her again
 If your friend woo your lover: haisshhh..mokusatsu (silent treatment) sudeyh..we'll see how far she can go..
 If your friends fall in love with you: buat2 tak tau sudeyh and kawan je cam biase.
 If you fall in love with your best friend: mmg tak kot.
 Smart people: everyone is smart in their own way.
 Stupid people: are those yg suke dengki.
 Good looking people: are those who love to smile.
 Ugly people: are those who are snobbish!
 Funny people: sin chan
 Cute people: kids and babies
 Bad people: dengki, crooked, liars.
 Honest people: are happy people.
 Acting people: are those yg dpt dpt jd pelakon hahah
 You are what kind of people: ambitious but lazy. hate pretending. care so much about other ppl. dunno how to express anger dkt org yg buat and dat's because i care about ppl's feelings! some ppl just dont care at all.
 Age to get marry: isk! 26 last. 27 final. *tanak kawin lmbt2 kot??!*
 Numbers of kid(s): hahahahaha yg penting bukan 10 la.
 Career: doctor. amin. amin. amin.
 Salary: 5 angka. amin amin amin.
 Retirement age: haisshh..tgk ar kalau laki i kaye gile, i retire la awal. hahahhaah well, it depends.
3. for my loved ones not to be taken away from me. at least not for now. am not ready.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
ahhh, but that is just not possible. never will. i'm just an ordinary student. going for lectures and practicals doesn't require me to dress up like a bimbo. going out to bangalore city on weekends, of course, i wanna dress up a little bit more than usual. BUT, imagine this. i am all dressed up, and UNFORTUNATELY, i just have to walk next to lembu2 to find an auto that can take me to the city. even worse, if ever i am unlucky, the lembu2 might be micturating *kencing mcm hujan!* as i walk by. and the cows stink big time! my Hugo Boss perfume turns out into noisome smell that can cause nausea! *okay, that's a little bit of exaggeration but anyhow, u get what i mean right?* so, what a big turn off, is it not?!
next, as mentioned, i really really really love high heels. i really really really do. but what's the point of wearing high heels, if the heels got ducked into the muddy road?!ergh! and living in the ever so berdebu place like india, my precious heels will finally change its colour. yes, no kidding.
and yes, if u wear something that's extraordinary *to them*, all eyes will be on you like u're some kind of alien. that's because the local/poor people living in the slum area, they don't even wear slippers and sarees are their everyday uniform. seeing us in nice outfit is like seeing Kareena Kapoor on television. hahahha. that's why india is called as the world of extremities. the poor are VERY poor, and the rich are VERY rich. and sad to be true, MANY of their people are still living in poverty.
now u know why i suddenly want to be a supermodel. wahahahahahhahahaha. yes, please!