Thursday, April 26, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
and lately, he's being overprotective towards me and the other siblings especially the girls. he was not like this when i was younger but as i get older (older in comparison k, i'm still young! :P), he becomes more and more conscious and overprotective about my safety.
as a school-leaver about 8 years ago, i was allowed to go wherever i want just as long as he knows my whereabouts and with whom i went out with. driving the car alone at night was not even an argument back then, as long as he's convinced that i know the direction (if i wasn't sure of the direction he will literally draw a map for me, yes dat's my daddy)
but, daddy turned into an overprotective dad lately. yes, it is recent. he won't let me drive alone at night anymore (except for short distance lahh) dulu kan, if i nak pergi jalan keluar with my friends, dia kesah ape, "kau pegi la sendiri abah malas nak hantar", but now, he even offered to send me to seremban just for me to attend my friend's engagement. padahal dulu i dah jenuh ulang alik shah alam-seremban by myself when i studied in kolej mara seremban dia tkde hal pun.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
believe it or not, yes those words really come from me i takde curi dari any malay poem or anything. i can be cheesy or jiwang like that but call me whatever, i don't mind being myself :)
before i go any further, please take note that i don't intend to hurt anyone in any way through my writing, i just kinda feel like expressing my opinion (gosh i have opinions about everything believe me! ira's brain is always busy sorting things out, thinking unnecessary things and that's why i have opinions about almost everything)
why do i say setia tu indah? why do i stick to one person when i can comfortably lie and have 2-3 men at one time especially if i am in long distance relationship? instead of getting just 1 birthday present, i can have 2-3 birthday presents if i date more than 1 man at 1 time? kan kan? so why the hell do i say setia tu indah?
yes i can lie. yes i can put up an act. i can have one steady boyfriend and have another one as my scandal or part time lover without the other boyfriend knowing. i can do that. but i choose not to. to me, it's more troublesome. dealing with more than 1 man is troublesome, a waste of time, money and energy and it makes me feel bitchy too.
u know, it's fine to feel bitchy when u're younger (like if you're still 18) i mean, heyyy, life is too short not to make mistakes come on lahhh kan, too short not to enjoy, and guess what, i had enough of that. i'm 25 and i wanna get serious with my life. no more heavy partying, no more changing boyfriends, no more flirting around, just no more.
so, even if i can lie and put up an act in front of my boyfriend, like u know, saying that u're out with some other girls when u're actually in someone else's arms, it feels so wrong to do that. and how can i enjoy myself doing thing that feel so wrong, no matter how good it makes you feel, in the end u know it's wrong jugak kan.
even if u're a good liar and good at acting, and di mata ur steady boyfriend, ur relationship is really a perfect one, you can never be a good liar to urself. yes, di mata ur boyfriend the relationship is good, perfect, takde cacat cela, tak tercemar with anasir curang but u know it first hand that you sendiri yang buat the relationship tak perfect, cacat and tercemar dengan perangai curang u sendiri. and knowing that, can u still consider that relationship a special one? if ur answer is a yes, u're lying to urself, or u simply don't know what's the real meaning of love.
katekan la u hanya plan untuk curang temporarily, like, u promised to urself that ur curangness (haha curangness, i hope u guys get me) is gonna be for 3 months je, contoh lahhh, and after 3 months u akan kembali jadi girlfriend mithali no more curang no more 2nd boyfriend. is it still okay to curang only temporarily?
ask urself, put urself in that position where u yg telah ditipu, u punya lah cinta separuh mati dekat ur boyfriend and dia cheat on u temporarily sementara korang jauh, what wud u feel? does the word 'temporary' makes u feel any better here? no right?
temporary or not, cheating is still cheating. and if u really lah ikhlas nk jaga the relationship, no matter how many orang mengorat u, u will try not to get involved. hah. i've been talking a lot about cheating, tak ckp pun psl setia.
okay to me setia tu sangat indah when u're doing it with the right person, when the other person pun setia with u. buat apa lah nk agih2kan kasih sayang u tu dekat ramai2 orang? it doesn't feel special anymore kalau buat mcm tu. best sgt ke if u have to layan more than 1 man? if u have to manjakan more than 1 man? if u 'sayang' or 'abang' or 'baby' to more than 1 man? sangat tak best ok sangat tak special.
to me, i wanna fall in love again and again with the same person. i wanna give my best and my all and my everything to only one person without me having to agih2kan my kasih sayang dengan 2-3 orang lain sebab if i'm able to commit to only one man and bagi dia love yg paling ikhlas n paling suci murni (wakakakkak kau pehal guna ayat camni iraaaa), i pasti he will terharu and will sayang me back the way i love him.
ok lah katekan la laki ni sengal sangat tak reti nk terharu and setia balik dkt i the way i setia to him, honestly yes, nothing much i can do bout it. maybe lah i akan sedih n meroyan n menyesal kenape aku bodoh sangat pegi setia kat lelaki camni. but chill lah, nak balas ke nak kasi dia sedar balik tu bukan kerja i. tu kerja Allah. at least i will be remembered as a loyal partner and i did no harm to his feeling and i believe he will realize that one day n will menyesal buat mcm tu dkt i, and him, on the other hand, will be remembered as a total scumbag who cheated on me. and if you believe in Allah, u will believe that setiap perbuatan jahat mesti ada balasan dia.
cuma sometimes, take it as a lesson. kadang2 we learn it the hard way. kadang2 girlfriend/boyfriend kite yang curang kat kite tu was sent to us by God to teach us lots of things. to teach us that nothing in this world is permanent, to teach us to cherish our partner better, to teach us not to boast dgn orang2 yg kita ada, so, hate them for a while for what they did to u, but then don't forget to thank them, for making u stronger, for teaching u what life is all about :)
maybe if i were to write about the same topic 10 years ago, i won't be able to think this way. tapi life is a teacher, and my life has been a very good teacher to me. at this point of life, i belajar that it's important to cherish people that u love, bukan cherish setakat melalui harta benda and kasih sayang yg u tunjuk, but to me, to cherish a person means u will not let the relationship tercemar walaupun the other person tak tau.
to me, once u cheat, u indirectly take ur relationship to a lower level and u scar the relationship. no matter how perfect the relationship is in ur boyfriend's eyes, u can't lie to urself that ur relationship is not as perfect, not very much a fairy tale, not a pure love and not that special anymore because u are the one making it less special.
me? i'm a firm believer that real life fairy tale do exist. so i'm gonna stick at creating one :))
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
I don’t quite feel like I’m a mature adult because I’m still a student struggling to finish my last 6 months of MBBS degree. But earlier today I overheard a discussion (and later I joined the discussion) about financial freedom. I’m not sure if people my age are familiar about this topic but me? Certainly not.
It was a heavy topic mainly about investment and how to manage your property. In short, it’s about financial security lahhh. Means people who are interested in this topic, their aim is not just to go to work from 8am to 4pm and then makan gaji every month. They’re mainly aiming to invest in some properties and gain side income (which can be quite a fortune) apart from just makan gaji.
Okay not gonna go into the details because I’m not someone who are well-versed about this so I really don’t have much information to share. But well if you have time and interest, this is something very interesting to look into :)
Seeing how guys are very interested in making sure that they will have a secure financial to build a new family with the wife (or future wife), it touches my heart. In the end, boys can really turn into real men and in the end, the center of a guy’s life is no longer just games, football and girls.
This is the kind of guy I wanna make babies with. At least I know that he won’t let my babies starve in hunger and will always have something to feed his materialistic wife. HAHAHAHAHA my bf is so going to pengsan reading this. Nah, I’m not that materialistic kan sayang? :P
Before any of you get me wrong, let me clear one thing. I never ever mean to say that guys who have no idea about financial freedom is someone who is irresponsible towards the family (or future family) because I believe that he must have other plan/way for this. Because the way I see it, financial freedom is such a vast topic.
My point is, these kind of guys (the ones who think forward about their financial security, whatever way it may be) are the ones that you can (insyaAllah) trust. Not the kind of guys who go around collecting debts. How can you imagine living with a man who has lots of debts to settle? I can't and I won't.
A guy with poor financial control is such a big turn off. If you can't manage your own financial, how are you going to support your family? You can't keep collecting debts because eventually the burden is not gonna be solely on the you, it'll haunt the whole family too.
So ladies, if the guy you're currently dating is the kind of guy who spend his money recklessly and the kind of guy who always want to borrow your/other ppl's money (worse if he always avoid to pay his own debts), you know you have to angkat kaki soon. Yes, soon. Before you fall deeper for him, which indirectly means you're falling deeper into your own financial trap. Yes.
This is for your own good. This is not cinta zaman sekolah where boys who got no money can also have lots of girlfriends, that era my dear, is over. Call me materialistic or whatever, but I have to state the fact that, money matters. For love to really work into something deeper and meaningful, money matters. (Okay I do sound materialistic already I might scare people away :/)
You don't have to be born rich to be able to be survive love. You just need that drive and effort to be a responsible guy. That's the main message from this whole lot of writing. Hahahaha. U know I can really write a lot to convey even a simple message :P
And this whole thing reminds me that I'm no longer in my teenage years and I only have 6 months left to enjoy my scholarship money and then I really need to learn how to grow money! Shit!
IRA Y U GROW UP SO FAST? -_____-"