Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Meroyan

buruk betul perkataan meroyan ni. very synonymous to makcik tua terpekik terlolong satu kampung sebab baru mati laki. tak ke?

anyway, please jangan samakan meroyan dengan makcik tua dah. sebab in this modern world, kami yang muda remaja ni pun dah pandai meroyan sebab tekanan perasaan with local indian drivers. it's a whole different experience.

to those who don't know, yes i'm currently studying in india and i bought kereta cap murah with my friends untuk mempermudahkan urusan kitorang pergi and pulang menuntut ilmu selain daripada pergi berfoya2 bersuka ria di hari minggu. so yeah.

kalau kat msia, boleh kira berapa orang pakai kereta manual. tapi dekat india, boleh kira dengan jari seblah tangan je berapa orang pakai kereta automatic. pendek citer, diorang ni memang pemandu yang hebat sebab mostly memang pakai kereta manual. i wanted to buy an automatic car but it was so damn expensive and a papa kedana like me can't afford an auto car hence the manual car i'm using now.

honestly, i was very much used to auto car back in msia, seingat i, aku bawak kereta manual masa nak amek driving license and kadang2 when aku rembat kereta kancil my sis dulu2. tapi tu semua cerita klasik suatu masa dulu, sekarang kat rumah aku semua kereta auto saje.

so anyway, berbekalkan hati kental dan kering, aku determined nak beli je kereta manual cap murah ni. janji boleh jalan, biar la mati 10 kali pun. first time bawak kereta dekat india nie, perrrrgggghhhh, cuak tak terkata mulut kering sebab cuak okay, dah la berkurun lamenye aku tak bawak kereta manual. kene pulak first day aku bawak kereta to class, i was stucked in between big lorries, not to mention manusia india yang suka jalan tengah2 alam plus kereta2 and motor2 anddd auto a.k.a tut-tut tu lagi. semak ah traffic india ni.

kalau dekat malaysia, kite cuak sebab kereta semua laju2. dekat india ni, kau cuak sebab kereta datang dari semua arah, manusia jalan dengan bahagianya dekat tengah2 jalan sikit pun tak cuak lori nak lalu (lori pulak terpaksa cuak terlanggar diorang) and diorang ni semua memang kurang ajar tahap moksya.

awal2 bawak kereta dekat sini, memang aku sikit punye hati2 tak nak terlanggar orang. kalau hon diorang tak ketepi pun aku sanggup bersabar bawak gear rendah membontoti bontot2 manusia yg jalan tengah jalan ni. sekarang, memang aku tempted je nak langgar sekor2 manusia bengap ni. ha, disinilah bermulanya era meroyan aku dan kawan2 sekereta aku.

sini kalau nk hon takde maknenye nak hon pendek2 malu2, kau hon je sampai 5 minit stret, tu pun belum tentu orang nak ketepi bagi jalan kat kau. dia boleh selamba lagi jalan gelak2. macam celaka ok. kalau hon 5 minit tak dilayan, bukak tingkap plak. kalau ada batu dalam kereta aku, dh lame aku baling kat manusia2 ni, tapi sadly aku asik terlupe jek nk kumpul batu2 letak dlm kereta so aku just jerit "woiiiii ammmaaaa, tepi la bodooo! kau bangang ke ape!" ahahahaha okay nak meroyan dalam bahasa india aku tak berapa nak fasih, nak meroyan dalam english bukan diorang paham pun so buang karan je kau meroyan berhabuk2 in english, might as well meroyan dalam mother tongue sendiri. puas hati ok.

proses meroyan takkan lengkap tanpa ekspresi muka dan tangan. korang pernah tengok kan kalau dekat cerita tamil tu perempuan gaduh2 diorang suka pakai tangan kan. ha macam tu lah kitorang buat. i lost count dah berapa kali aku flash my middle finger to the indian drivers and the stupid pedestrians. i never did that in malaysia. (shit, betul ke?) but anyway, kalau nak flash middle finger kat msia time driving pun memang fikir 2-3 kali gak kan. kat sini tak payah fikir, buat saje.

dekat india ni, there's no such thing as fast lane or slow lane. kalau kau bawak auto 40km/hour pun kau boleh belasah bawak on fast lane. ape ade hal. bawak kereta dekat india ni macam main game ok. kalau nak cepat, memang kau terpaksa cilok2 semua lane. daripada lane laju, tetibe ada auto (tut tut) slow block kau, masuk plak lane tengah, tak lame lepas tu ade plak lori lembab kat lane tengah, masuk lane slow pulak tak lame lepas tu ade plak pakcik tengah tolak troli jual sayur. and lepas tu back to middle lane depan kau semua ada kereta slow lembap lempong daripada fast lane, middle lane and slow lane. so there's nothing u can do but wait. or hon sampai lebam. can u imagine? so pendek kata, kau hanya akan berpeluang untuk speeding dalam masa kurang daripada 2 minit sebelum berjumpa dengan halangan seterusnya. gila tak masyuk. tapi kalau kau jenis suka cilok2 lane tu best la gak tapi bila part stuck sbb semua kereta dpn kau slow tu memang turn off. and yes, sini kau bukan racing dengan kereta. kau racing dengan lori2 besar. sumpah ok.

speaking about lori2 besar, diorang ni memang biadap tau. kadang2 tu main himpit je masuk lane orang smpai nk terlanggar our car. eee macam babi la jugak. if that happens selalunya aku kejar balik lori tu, dapat jerit meroyan jap or flash middle finger pun jadi lah. orang bodoh mcm ni memang kene ajar sikit. pernah tu siap balas2 gaduh mulut sambil bawak kereta side to side with another vehicle tu. hahah macam haram. aku ni dah macam gangster jalanan dah.

kereta cap murah aku memang sangat berjasa. paling malas nak bangun awal catch the bus to class, lagi malas kalau tertinggal bas pastu terpaksa gaduh ngan pakcik auto sebab dia mintak fare mahal. ade kereta ni tenang sket. eh? tenang? tapi meroyan?

now i can drive a manual car like a pro already. ahahaha. siap dah ajar 4 orang yang naik kereta sama aku. initially, i was the only person who can drive, so hari2 aku mengangkut my other 4 classmates to class. lepas tu aku dah macam instructor, sorang2 aku ajar bawak kereta, now all of 'em can drive a manual car already. hah. aahh, and that explains the condition of the car. each kemek represents almost each one of em. hahahaha. takpe, at least kemek jek. plus the traffic memang unpredictable kan. i've been in worse car accident with a lorry in malaysia. kereta remuk, lori terbalik sideways, settle dekat balai. haa. hahahah. guess every driver will experience at least an accident in a lifetime.

serious tak ayu okay kalau meroyan. tapi meroyan tu macam kewajipan atau tuntutan kalau kau nak terus hidup dekat india ni. tak tahan aa hari2 kereta cap murah aku ditindas oleh lori2 besar. cap murah tak murah, name kereta aku ferrari okay. adios amigos.

me and my ferrari

10 comments:

EJA said...

sampai macam tu ker teruknyer kreta kat india...huhu..baik semua guna jejantas jela..

Tuan Auz said...

OMG~ aku rasa cam nak gi INdia, just tuk mencarut kat jalan. new experience~hahahhahaha! xpernah lagi aku bagi finger kat sapa2 d msia ni. paling teruk kat msia pon, Horn je la n bercakap dlm kereta sorang2. haha.

gilewww hebat ko ira. ferrari ko leh masok GP formula 1 keh... kalah sume Lambo ngan nissan sana. ;p

mana dorang berani himpit ko =p

IRA said...

eja : hahah sini jejantas pon tarak..nk lintas jalan kene mengucap 10 kali..just in case..hehe

aus : haaa ko tak tengok ferrari aku..mmg bole masuk GP..ekekekek..dtg la sini aku bagi ko drive kete aku..experience sket..hehe

R said...

Lol! Quite a post there!

"if I had stones in my car".. hahahaha.. I was laughing nonstop reading that.. :D

But it's true. Driving here is a totally unique experience; I've heard Italian driving is just as chaotic, but I don't really know - that's just what I've heard, not seen.

I've been here some time now, and I still 'quietly swear' when the car has to switch lanes because NOBODY follows slow/fast lane. It's really, really inefficient.. but people don't see that I guess.

There's this railway crossing on one of the routes to work, which I sometimes use. We have separate right lane and left lane, God help us if the gates are down because of train-crossings. Both sides become one BIG lane, with autos and motorbikes filling the gaps to form a nice big pack at the gates, macam marathon starting line. Then when the gates open, no choice but to push and honk and wait and shout and curse and turn the car awkward angles to somehow SQUEEZE through to get to the other side. All because everyone is rushing madly at each other. All because they don't want to wait in THEIR lane. Haii..

My dad always notes how the honking behaviour is so so different - here, you can't get around without honking, and I've seen the effects of having horn rosak in the car! Back home, [we stayed in an apartment], if we're waiting for someone and they arrive and give a 'tiny' honk, half the block comes out to their balconies to see what's happening. Hehehehe..

Anyway, that's how it is.. I feel it's mostly to do with the thinking.. but that's a big discussion on its own. How they have nice wide roads here [from city to city], but still takut nak speed because you never know when cows or goats or dogs come dancing onto the highway. How traffic here is literally bumper to bumper; even if you give space between your car and the one in front, big lorry people bully you into sticking to the front. Again, it's the thinking.. like how you don't have space to turn around without bumping into strangers in a queue, because they stand so close to you. Same thinking, I suppose.. and can't really blame them.. give some space in front and you lose it.

All part of the unique experience that is India! Soak it up while you're here.. it's quite fascinating.. sometimes. :P

I'm glad I don't have to drive here, yet - less tension, more fun to sit in the passenger seat. :-)

Ciao!

Miss Tatie said...

hi. singgah sini jap boleh?
nak minta tolong..
tolong like entry no 80
kat cstproduction.blogspot.com

no 80 tau
time kasih
;)

IRA said...

R : omg long comment there! hahaha thanks for reading..hahah yes the experience we got here is, ermm, priceless? ;p hahahah

im guessing u're studying at the same uni as i am? are u?

R said...

Lol.. yes, priceless! Although it does get on the nerves once in a while :P

No, I'm not a student. I've been working here for some time now. :-)

keabadianchenta said...

thu ke pe mksud merotan tu..
http://www.jamalfatani.blogspot.com

diana said...

hahaha... very true.. ada yg traffic light terang berderang lagi bersuluh lampu MERAH... dier hon2 suh jalan... adoi... cik abg buta, hang nk terbang pi mana.. bukan boleh jalan pon... if not d other scenario will b, kalo dh tau jam and its a T-junction, at least give some space for other vehicles to go to the other side.. nie tak... pi bg jam lagi kt situ.. indeed very selfish bloody ppl without common sense and logical thinking!! and d worst will b auto driver kata : Amma, dis is d shortcut.. bongok gile!! jalan biasa tu lagi pendek dan cepat.. shortcut tu slalu nye lagi panjang kot.... impaired mathematical functions gamaknye...

MIA said...

kat mesir pun lebih kurang je, arab jahiliah ! HAHHAHA