well i'm not a perfect friend to anyone either, not even a perfect girlfriend one can have. but the one thing that a best friend or a girlfriend/boyfriend should never do is to judge or comment on one's family when the bestfriend/partner actually trust you not to judge them.
it's not just annoying to have a bestfriend or boyfriend who judges your family like they have a better family, it kinda rip off the trust i have for that person too.
well, i don't trust people that easily, and when i do tell my problem to you, it simply means you're gaining my trust bit by bit. it's not simply complaining or seeking for advice from you when i tell you my problem, it's all about having someone to listen to you, it lifts up the burden off your chest just by having a person to listen to you without judging you or your family. don't worry if you don't have the solution of my problem, i don't usually expect that from you anyway.
i'm not gonna give you a real life example for you to be able to comprehend my point here, so here's what i can think of as an example :
siti : babe, sorry aku tak sempat siapkan notes study group kite, aku ade problem la...mak aku...
siti's bestfriend : nape ngan mak kau wei? kau ok tak? cite la...
siti : aku pun segan nk cite...hmmm...mak aku...tiap2 mlm kua pegi clubbing...balik2 pun bau
alcohol sume...so aku yg kene buat keje rumah sume..aku tkde mase nk blaja pun..nk
siapkan keje ni sume lg la tkde mase...
siti's bestfriend : OMFG!!! your mom went clubbing??? dah tua2 pun clubbing keee, mak kau
igt dia muda still bergetah eh?
get what i mean? siti told her bestfriend about her situation not with the hope that the bestfriend will come out with a solution for her and she doesn't even wanna hear her bestfriend commenting about how bad her mother is because deep down, she already know that very fact herself and she seriously doesn't need other people, especially an outsider (someone outside her family) to tell her that because no matter how bad her mother behaves, she's still her mother and deep down, no matter how much siti detest her mother for being an irresponsible mom, she still love her and no one can ever talk shit about her mother.
so yeah. same goes la when you cerita 'my little sister lari rumah last nite with her boyfriend', obviously the little sister is at fault for running away with her boyfriend but a bestfriend or boyfriend doesn't need to say 'ehhh bodohnya adik u pegi lari ngan boyfriend die, macam la boyfriend dia bole bagi die makan sedap2 lepas tu'. seeee. you don't fucking need to say that dude.
and you don't ever comment about other parents' way of upbringing. of course, the way my parents brought me up is different with the way your parents brought you up but it doesn't mean my daddy's wrong and ur daddy's right. they have their own reasons for bringing us up the way the wanted to.
i do admit my daddy is the most sporting daddy in the whole wide world, he didn't stop us from doing this and that, and i must say kami adik beradik takde la perfect mana tapi tkde la rosak macam budak yg sepah2 dekat KL tu like durrhh so when a boyfriend or bestfriend told me this 'i don't think ur father did the right thing to bring u guys up the way he did' omagashhh i'm likeeee 'hello who the hell are you to say that nak kene pelempang keeee abis adik beradik kau ape yg bagus sgt dari adik beradik aku haaa celakaaaaa' haaa memang rasa nak lempang smpai kau mampos.
so dear friends, kite semua manusia biasa tak perfect mana. just because u have a perfect family, semuanya baik2 belaka sembahyang cukup, puasa cukup, pakaian lengkap, puasa sunat lagi, it doesn't mean that you have the right to comment on other ppl's family. you just need to draw a line la wei between what u think and what u can actually zahirkan dengan kata-kata.
kalau bestfriend kau tu abang dia perogol, perlu ke kau kutuk2 abg dia dekat dia?
kalau boyfriend kau tu mak dia adalah pornstar, perlu ke kau hina2 mak dia dkt dia?
kalau girlfriend kau tu bapak dia penagih dadah, perlu ke kau caci maki bapak dia dkt dia?
look, some people memang baik dalam perlakuan dia, tapi when it comes to this, they fail so miserably. heh.