it's not that i can't,
but it's because i don't want to,
and that's why i stand still,
here, nowhere but here.

not this life,
maybe another life,
i'll still stand,
nowhere but here.

like adik like kakak

adik 1 : abah tanak pegi class la sakit tangan

abah : haa sakit ke..

adik 1 : (buat muka sakit sedih pilu dan segala2)

abah : yela2 duk rumah rehat k...

***

adik 2 : mak malas la nk pegi class byk homework kene buat nih

mummy : tanak pegi class make sure dok rumah buat keje skolah

adik 2 : nak buat la ni

time tgh ponteng - buat sudoku. +_+

***

pagi tadi, pukul 10am, tapi aku tido lagi :-

adik 3 : (tarik tangan aku tiba2 letak kat leher dia) panas tak?

saya : aaaaaaaa? panas panas. (bole la tak panas sgt tp sebab nk sambung tido kan.)

adik 3 : panas sgt keee?

saya : haaa..bole la (dah tau dah motif pertanyaan)

pukul 12.30, adik 3 tengah tido nyenyak walaupun kelas petang sepatutnye dah start.

***

amboi adik2ku, korang memang bijak mengambil kesempatan mcm aku. like adik like kakak la kan. patutlah korang jadi adik2 aku. syabas.

senyum sampai esok

life is sure full of surprises. kan?
i just feel whole :)
to meet someone u haven't met for years.

from afar, u can still recognize the smell of the perfume.
and everything.

life is wonderful.

:) life is indeed wonderful.

kawin

i was tagged by elida hanan. pasal kawin2. here goessssssssssssss,

1. How old are you?

22 years and 29 days.

2. Are you single?

double.

3. At what age do you think you’ll get married?

erm? tak tua sgt tak muda sangat. paling ideal 25/26 kot? tapi tak tau, banyak halangan kot? hahaha.

4. Do you think you’ll be marrying the person you are with now?

no one knows what the future holds. hope so.

5. If not, who do you want to marry?

orang kacak. hahahah.

6. Who will be your bridesmaid & bestman?

weh, tak pnah pk ni. sape mau? hahaha.

7. Do you want a garden/beach or traditional wedding?

day 1 traditional wedding. day 2 garden wedding. day 3 beach wedding. okay i prefer garden wedding and traditional la kot nnti kene tuduh lupe asal usul plak kan. ;p yg penting baju kene cantik.

8. Where do you plan to go on honeymoon?

honeymoon part 1 bora bora island. honeymoon part 2 france. honeymoon part 3 italy.

9. How many guests do you think you’ll invite?

ramai kot. cuz my extended family is really extended! tak campur friends lagi kan.

10. Will that include your exes?

mcm la diorang nak datang kan. tkyah la, membazir nasik minyak.

11. How many layers of cake do you want?

lor? tak terpk. 5 la cantik. kot?

12. When do you want to get married, morning or evening?

urrmmm. bukan orang slalu kawin afternoon ke?


13. Name the song/tune you’d like to play at your wedding:

lagu jiwang2 la ape lagi hahah. bole buat karaoke set situ.

14. Do you prefer fine dining or just normal spoon & fork?knife?

traditional wedding pakai tangan je kan. garden wedding pakai la fork and spoon kot.

15. Champagne or red wine?

sirap limau and sirap bandung la.

16. Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?

right after wedding! tak sabar! mau bora bora!

17. Money or household items?

both pleaseeee?

18. How many kids would you like to have?

at least 3. paling ramai 5 kot. the more the merrier. but lagi ramai lagi tinggi cost. tapi, anak tu kan rezeki? cewah. ade bunyi mak orang tak? hahah

19. Will you record your honeymoon in DVD/CD?

tentulah! pegi sekali je kan?

20. Whose wedding plan would you like to know ?

sape2 yg nak kawin.

monolog dalaman

sometimes kau tak tau ape kau dh buat dengan life kau. pathetic. sometimes kau tak tau mane pegi otak kau bila kau decide something. sometimes kau tak cukup analyze benda tapi kau dah ckp yes. pathetic lagi. sometimes kau tatau camana nak fix things up because benda tu akan jadi complicated walaupun niat kau adalah utk fix benda tu. double pathetic.

sometimes it feels so good to be wrong.

i wish i can reconstruct my life. first things first, no more india. im loving every inch of my life now. now means here. here means malaysia. i wish #%@F^#$^#&$!@#SFS not to be mentioned here.

bottom line is, i want to reconstruct my life that seems so impossible cos things will definitely get more complicated. maybe kau kena lari jauh2 and start over. tapi mcmane nak lari kalau here is my chosen place? wth.

i'm all mixed up. tak sangka. u guys won't get any idea about this. anything that's on ur mind is not what's on my mind. so u can keep ur assumptions senyap2 ok.

i dont wanna back to india. i need my miracle.

what's inside me?

i will follow my heart
i will follow my heart
i will follow my heart
i will follow my heart
i will follow my heart

pasti bahagia.

the songs that almost kill me.

these are the 2 songs that almost kill me during the muse concert live in malaysia 2007! hysteria and knights of cydonia by muse! muse was amazing amazing amazing gilaaa i tell uuuu!! what's with the statement that these 2 songs almost kill me kan? well i was in the front row during these songs. yes u heard me, i was in the front most row, just a few centimetres away from matthew bellamy the muse vocalist! and the crowd went crazy and i mean, really crazy memang sasau habis tolak2 orang wave mcm gila and since i'm petite (oh statement kedua mengenai diri sendiri petite) and small, at least during that time, memang lemas habis one minute i was at the right end another minute the crowd tolak2 me to another end and i tell ya, i gave up the front row because of that. if not i'm dead by now maybe sebab kena pijak dengan the crowd. i went a little behind *terpaksa* and belakang tu tahap kesasauan tak semoksya front row plus kat sini orang dia tak besar2 sangat so i was safe.

the point isss, RINDU GILA MAU SASAUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was looking at these 2 vids and i was like, perghhhh i was in there and shiittttt i misssss ittttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A LOT! this kind of thing works best to kiss my stress away! and yes it's proven already. i was still doing IB during this concert and in fact, i skipped classes for this concert and since IB is a real pain in the ass for its students, i took my day free from stress by going to this concert. heaven. told ya it works.

yang geramnye, whenever i'm away from malaysia time tu la ramai plak orang nk buat concerts and when i'm here, none. yeah i went to wyclef jean live in bangalore some time ago but that was in india, it's just different. eventhough time wyclef jean tu lagi ramai mat salleh, niggas and not to mention, indians, i still think malaysian crowd is the best. yes the best so far. or maybe wyclef isn't really my kind of music, i mean, layan la but i prefer something like muse, coldplay, linkin park, gwen, the frays, jewel etc etc. u get it now right?

oh btw, i'm all alone at home. yes. for the whole 2 days. my family went off for a camping ke apa tah and i decided to stay home walaupun my parents dah pujuk i cam gila ajak ikut skali but i just dont want. because they're going with some other families yg i'm not so close with, my sisters and brother mmg dah ade geng diorang, my parents obviously akan geng dengan uncle2 and auntie2 lain and obviously they'll talk about business la apa la obviously not my kind of thing so rather than terkapai2 sorang2 tkde geng kat sana i choose to stay alone at home. the best part is, my parents left the myvi with me!! yeayyyy~!!!!!! i'm all set to berfoya2 with the car to go anywhere and everywhere at anytime of the day lalalala~

later tonight, i'm off for a night out. tomorrow ermm, i've been sms-ing my friends to see if they're free so we can catch up with each other but nothing is confirmed yet. but life is still good even if i'm alone because if there's no one to go out with, i'm off shopping to KL. yes alone. u know, i love going shopping alone since forever. even in india, when i really need a retail therapy, i would rather go alone daripada ajak my frens teman they'll end up getting tired waiting for me in the fitting rooms and going back and forth to the same shops. yes that's me and my shopping style. the only person who fits my shopping habit is baz so it's either u see me going out with her for shopping or u see me going out alone. well in malaysia, i go shopping alone. not with my parents. not with siblings. not with friends. alone is cool enough i can spend hours admiring whatever i want without having to care whether there's anyone yg penat tunggu i ke ape ke. but with boyfriend is a double yes. heheh though he has to cope up with me going from one shop to another shop well, he's willing to kan sayang :p

here's another dilemma. u know i'll be having my first internal assessment after the holiday. yes yes blame the u-know-who for setting up such schedule. i never knew holiday is equivalent to study leave whatever malas nak marah2 kat sini kang ade bebudak yg pro-u-know-what ngadu kang tak pepasal aku kene pape kang kan. ha the dilemma is, my flight to bangalore is supposed to be on 8th of april but thanks to MAS, my flight is being put forward on the 7th of april shiiisshhhh but if i wish to go back a little later that would be on 10th and my exam will start on 13th so i'm totally confused. my dad keeps asking me whether i wanna go back on 7th or 10th. well i think 7th is too early and 10th is a little too late. one minute i wanna go back on 7th to study la konon but another minute i wanna go back on 10th so badly so i'll have more days in malaysia. help. i'm so totally confuse i don't feel like going back at all this place is heaven.

okay la, i need to take a bath. later ya.

p/s : nadd i do miss the simple plan concert tooooo i remember u were the big fan of it kannnn and yes we got featured kat melodi during the concert hahhaaha rindu mau sasau okay, enough said.