Thursday, April 19, 2012

Setia itu Indah

some of you might be rolling on the floor laughing already kan reading the title, or some might ask, is that really Ira? :P yes it's me.

believe it or not, yes those words really come from me i takde curi dari any malay poem or anything. i can be cheesy or jiwang like that but call me whatever, i don't mind being myself :)

before i go any further, please take note that i don't intend to hurt anyone in any way through my writing, i just kinda feel like expressing my opinion (gosh i have opinions about everything believe me! ira's brain is always busy sorting things out, thinking unnecessary things and that's why i have opinions about almost everything)

why do i say setia tu indah? why do i stick to one person when i can comfortably lie and have 2-3 men at one time especially if i am in long distance relationship? instead of getting just 1 birthday present, i can have 2-3 birthday presents if i date more than 1 man at 1 time? kan kan? so why the hell do i say setia tu indah?

yes i can lie. yes i can put up an act. i can have one steady boyfriend and have another one as my scandal or part time lover without the other boyfriend knowing. i can do that. but i choose not to. to me, it's more troublesome. dealing with more than 1 man is troublesome, a waste of time, money and energy and it makes me feel bitchy too.

u know, it's fine to feel bitchy when u're younger (like if you're still 18) i mean, heyyy, life is too short not to make mistakes come on lahhh kan, too short not to enjoy, and guess what, i had enough of that. i'm 25 and i wanna get serious with my life. no more heavy partying, no more changing boyfriends, no more flirting around, just no more.

so, even if i can lie and put up an act in front of my boyfriend, like u know, saying that u're out with some other girls when u're actually in someone else's arms, it feels so wrong to do that. and how can i enjoy myself doing thing that feel so wrong, no matter how good it makes you feel, in the end u know it's wrong jugak kan.

even if u're a good liar and good at acting, and di mata ur steady boyfriend, ur relationship is really a perfect one, you can never be a good liar to urself. yes, di mata ur boyfriend the relationship is good, perfect, takde cacat cela, tak tercemar with anasir curang but u know it first hand that you sendiri yang buat the relationship tak perfect, cacat and tercemar dengan perangai curang u sendiri. and knowing that, can u still consider that relationship a special one? if ur answer is a yes, u're lying to urself, or u simply don't know what's the real meaning of love.

katekan la u hanya plan untuk curang temporarily, like, u promised to urself that ur curangness (haha curangness, i hope u guys get me) is gonna be for 3 months je, contoh lahhh, and after 3 months u akan kembali jadi girlfriend mithali no more curang no more 2nd boyfriend. is it still okay to curang only temporarily?

ask urself, put urself in that position where u yg telah ditipu, u punya lah cinta separuh mati dekat ur boyfriend and dia cheat on u temporarily sementara korang jauh, what wud u feel? does the word 'temporary' makes u feel any better here? no right?

temporary or not, cheating is still cheating. and if u really lah ikhlas nk jaga the relationship, no matter how many orang mengorat u, u will try not to get involved. hah. i've been talking a lot about cheating, tak ckp pun psl setia.

okay to me setia tu sangat indah when u're doing it with the right person, when the other person pun setia with u. buat apa lah nk agih2kan kasih sayang u tu dekat ramai2 orang? it doesn't feel special anymore kalau buat mcm tu. best sgt ke if u have to layan more than 1 man? if u have to manjakan more than 1 man? if u 'sayang' or 'abang' or 'baby' to more than 1 man? sangat tak best ok sangat tak special.

to me, i wanna fall in love again and again with the same person. i wanna give my best and my all and my everything to only one person without me having to agih2kan my kasih sayang dengan 2-3 orang lain sebab if i'm able to commit to only one man and bagi dia love yg paling ikhlas n paling suci murni (wakakakkak kau pehal guna ayat camni iraaaa), i pasti he will terharu and will sayang me back the way i love him.

ok lah katekan la laki ni sengal sangat tak reti nk terharu and setia balik dkt i the way i setia to him, honestly yes, nothing much i can do bout it. maybe lah i akan sedih n meroyan n menyesal kenape aku bodoh sangat pegi setia kat lelaki camni. but chill lah, nak balas ke nak kasi dia sedar balik tu bukan kerja i. tu kerja Allah. at least i will be remembered as a loyal partner and i did no harm to his feeling and i believe he will realize that one day n will menyesal buat mcm tu dkt i, and him, on the other hand, will be remembered as a total scumbag who cheated on me. and if you believe in Allah, u will believe that setiap perbuatan jahat mesti ada balasan dia.

cuma sometimes, take it as a lesson. kadang2 we learn it the hard way. kadang2 girlfriend/boyfriend kite yang curang kat kite tu was sent to us by God to teach us lots of things. to teach us that nothing in this world is permanent, to teach us to cherish our partner better, to teach us not to boast dgn orang2 yg kita ada, so, hate them for a while for what they did to u, but then don't forget to thank them, for making u stronger, for teaching u what life is all about :)

maybe if i were to write about the same topic 10 years ago, i won't be able to think this way. tapi life is a teacher, and my life has been a very good teacher to me. at this point of life, i belajar that it's important to cherish people that u love, bukan cherish setakat melalui harta benda and kasih sayang yg u tunjuk, but to me, to cherish a person means u will not let the relationship tercemar walaupun the other person tak tau.

to me, once u cheat, u indirectly take ur relationship to a lower level and u scar the relationship. no matter how perfect the relationship is in ur boyfriend's eyes, u can't lie to urself that ur relationship is not as perfect, not very much a fairy tale, not a pure love and not that special anymore because u are the one making it less special.

me? i'm a firm believer that real life fairy tale do exist. so i'm gonna stick at creating one :)) 


Anonymous said...

Haaa btol2! I sokong sgt! Go ira go iraaaaaa!!!

IRA said...

hahaha yeepppp