perfect drug

i was having some sort of emotional breakdown lately. i get irritated and emotionally disturbed easily. yes, my heart is missing some pieces. the loved ones! the family, the besties and the sweetheart!

and i was lucky enough to have the whole weekend with my little dinosour :) he came all the way from manipal to bangalore! loving itttttttttttttt!!! and he is my drug. the drug that kiss away the emotional imbalance. :D perfect drug i would call.

babyku and babymu

my little dinosour is getting fatterrrrr! but i love him fat so i can pinch all his lemak2 :D and ohhh, he won't stop showing off his biceps and triceps hahahah *bangga laa tu!*

my little dinosour loves to eat :D

and his appetite is beyond everything else. kuat mkn nihhh!

my little dinosour is so comel lahhh!

it's been 2 months since we last met. well, we are supposed to meet on february '09 but jgn harap lahhh cuz i misss him damn muchhhh and he misses me tooo so he came over hehe and after my trip to new delhi in december i'll be going to manipal for the whole 1 week :D i'll be his cook for the whole 1 week to make sure that he is well nourished! hahahah

messy messy him

can't u tell? i love it when he's around. thanks little dinosour for coming. i know the bus ride suck big time but u came anyway. thanks a lot babykuuuu! i love u so so so muchhh! and having you around is the best damn thing :) because you complete me.

and lucky lucky me

another attack in india

have u heard the news? the gunshot attack in Mumbai, India last nite. isn't it obvious? India is no longer a safe country. there are terrorist attacks here and there in India. Bangalore is not excluded seriously. remember the bomb blast in Bangalore some time ago? damn those places are just a few kilometres away from my place. no kidding mannn!

and now, Mumbai! i clicked on the net to find out more about this latest attack in mumbai...

and....

GULP. and GULP!!

the horrible scene took place around colaba area. gotta believe this, i stayed in colaba for the whole 1 week about 6 months ago!!! scary huhhhh??!!!!! as i read the news, all the restaurants and hotels involved are very VERY VERY familiar to me! shit kan? imagine if this scary event were to take place when i was there in mumbai, shit, scary mannn!

this is the famous taj hotel. the picture was taken by me, 6 months ago. isn't it lovely? it's a well-known luxurious hotel in mumbai. we actually went inside the hotel, it was fabulous!

and look at this picture! scary kannnn??and trust me, the hotel we were staying in was just behind this taj hotel. omg, just imagine how lucky i am. thank god there wasn't anything like this happening during my stay in colaba.

and this is Shivaji Terminus, the biggest train terminal in mumbai. again, this is the picture of that train terminal taken by me 6 months ago. yes, this train terminal was where i first step my foot in mumbai.


and look at this picture. dead bodies all around. i can't believe it. i was there! damn. scary gile sumpah tak tipu.

the gunmen also attacked a few restaurants. Mumbai's Cafe Leopold and Cafe Mondegar. we've been there, pagi ptg siang mlm during my stay in mumbai. nice place to hang out, majority of the customers were mat salleh, no wonder la kan. and i can't believe the gunshot event took place in these 2 lovely cafes too. again, thank god i am now in bangalore safe and sound.

the world is no longer a safe place to live. anywhere at all. terrorist attack happens almost everywhere. why? why can't we let the world population live in peace? what's with the endless attacks? why do we make human life that worthless? i'll be staying in india for another 4.5 years. it has only been a year since i live in india, and there were like, erm, at least 4 cases of bombing attack in india during my stay. delhi, ahmedabad, bangalore and mumbai. wow, that's quite a number.

dear family and friends, do pray for me to have a safe stay in india.

croatian rhapsody

this music describes my feeling perfectly.
well, it's open for your interpretation.

sweetest sin

nature fails me. i'm not supposed to spend my money for anything unnecessary but errr...i got myself a super nice outfit today! tak menyesal, tapi cam...hahahaha...whatever. let's just call it an accident la kot? maybe i was in the state of half conscious and so i accidentally bought that super nice outfit for me. hahah i feel sinful to myself, a sweet one! *what am i crapping about la!*

oh we had a dinner last nite. a dinner between the doctors, our seniors and my batch at somewhere near my teaching hospital, Baptist Hospital. well, it was a dinner, a dinner is supposed to be all formal and proper lalala kan? so i chose to wear my baju kurung moden la and i thought everyone else pon pakai lagi lawa2 la kan. but tgk2 orang lain pakai very casual, jeans etc etc. what? i had no idea that it was a casual dinner. i was wearing baju kurung and baz with her baju kebaya, siap dgn clutch okkkaayyy! damn, ni gile mencapub. hahah mane la kitorang tau orang lain sume pakai jeans. pergh, amek kau kan dh jadi pompuan melayu terakhir. dah tak pasal2 orang kate kitorang smangat gile hahahaha pape je la janji aku tak kacau orang kan kan kan.

the dinner started at around 8. as majority of the doctors are christian, so they started off with their prayers to Jesus. pergh, this is my first time kot pegi function yg start dgn prayers to Jesus. well, as much as they respect our religion, kite pon buat la the same thing kan. then, one of the docs played the piano and another doc sang a song. doctors okkaaayyyy! next, 2 female doctors plak buat performance. sorang main guitar, sorang nyanyi. pergh, padahal muke nerd je, tapi main guitar kot? doctor kot? specialist kot? wah. kagum kagum. and my favourite surgeon, Dr. Renol pon nyanyi lagu Ice ice baby. cool kan? and my OBG doctor plak nyanyi lagu hindustan, gile ar suare sedap gilerrrr! they are cool doctors okkkaayy! i thought i'm gonna be the first cool doctor (hahaha apekah?) but cool doctors do exist! i love the doctors here seriously. they're friendly, very dedicated but cooool enough to joke around with the students :) unlike the doctors in our college, so not friendly.

then, ade la performance from the students plak. ala cam biase la, dak2 band. obviously, no participation from the girls. aahhh, time2 camni la i rindu nk main guitar balik. baz dh keco2 nk buat performance pasni. hahaha, well, die ngaku suare die sedap. ermmm bolela, setaraf ngan suare i la. hahahahaha. ish nyesal tak bawak jer guitar datang india ari tuh. abah la ni, tak bagi kite bawak guitar sbb die nk main. cis cis!

pencapub sekalian alam, me and baz.

on our way back to apartment, baz dh sibuk2 practice nyanyi. hahahahah tkleh blah kannn minah ni. kononnye i'll play the guitar and she'll sing a song. dan dan terus die nk bli guitar. hahahah aduyai. i really need to brush up my skill. oh i soooo miss time kat kms where i used to jam with the girls. with ili, lina, fiona, and uja. ili the drummer, lina the guitarist, uja the keyboardist and fiona the singer. okay la, since lina lagi hebat main guitar so i pon jadi la bassist. ni mmg smpai senget2 bahu sbb berat gile kot bass tu. hahaha take turn la. ade time main guitar gak. gile rindu okkkk! wpon masing2 pon tkde la gempak amat tp cam layan jerrrr! best gak per kan kan kan! wpon tmpat jamming tu hodoh lagi busuk tapi u girls rock my socks laaa! ili berjaya memartabatkan kaum wanita as a female drummer wahahahahahha. sumpah rindu nk sasau dgn kau, ili. kau mmg the best sasau partner alive! hahahaha msti kau rindu mulut puaka aku kannn! hahahaha

gone were the days. dulu guitar was my bestfriend cewah. asal pnat blaja je kat kms mule la tangan gatal2 petik guitar. pdhal baru blaja 5 minit. lina pon slalu kunjung mengunjungi dan ziarah menziarahi bilik aku sbb nk main guitar. pergh, minah sorang ni jgn main2. ni mmg dewa dewi ar. arrr rindu. sini tkde geng kot? lagi berkarat la skill aku. pesal la korang tak dtg sini eh! kalau tak bole aku terus mengkematukan jari jemari aku! rindu wehhhhh!

tkpe baz, mari kite merealisasikan impian kite bersama. hahahah mmg kau ngan aku kaki capub sedunia, tiada was-was lagi. syabas!

p/s : pnat cari gmbar jamming kat kms, rupenye time reformat the laptop sume pics dh terdelete! aduyai! kalau tak bole upload pics2 selebet kite jamming kat studio jamming yg lengkap berbendera malaysia hahah. rindu, tak tipu!

who are you to judge me?

upset. annoyed. disappointed.

who are you to say this and that about me? do u know me perfectly? do u know me from top to toe? just because i'm lack of that one thing it doesn't mean that i'm that naive, stupid and ignorant about my own religion!

please lah, mind ur words ok! i'm open for any advices because i am very much aware that i'm not perfect like u but please, no harsh-and-makan-dalam words ok? i agree that u're a goood muslim but i THINK u've got to work a little bit more on your relationship with the people around u, and of course, your communication skills suck big time, sorry to say that. it really was.

people love to assume. and a lot of people assumed me for doing this and that. wow, looks like everybody knows me perfectly eh? i'm not gonna waste my time listing the things that i really did and things that i did not do. what's the point? u may think it's just another episode of me pretending to be an angel. so, if u really think u know me that perfect, then be it. and labelling someone is another in-thing isn't it? thanks for the nickname that i've got. maybe u should give one for yourself too.

i'm sick of the hypocrites around me. i'm suffocated. pretending is like the only thing they're good at. if you dunno me, then stop acting like u do. i may not be perfect but i dun deserve those harsh thoughts and words. so, BACK OFF!

p/s : only to whom it may concern.

the tickets. the classes. the couples.

it's been a while since i last update about myself. errr, where to start?

first thing first, flight tickets from bangalore to new delhi for me and my family dah settle. but still i need to have further discussion with the travel agency about the hotel and how to get around in delhi. we definitely gonna hit taj mahal by the end of this year! the weather is expected to be cool (max is 20 degree celcius kot?) and a friend of mine said that seeing taj mahal is like seeing a hugeee postcard, heee i can't wait! my mom plak dh ckp awal2 die nk shop for sarees to make baju kurung etc etc. well, woman, biase ar tuu! hahahah

next, what am i up to these days? lectures and clinical posting. i just couldn't make my life more interesting at this moment. especially now that i desperately need to save up some money hahahah. lectures are of no fun, exception to forensic medicine lecture. yeah i do find it interesting. imagine u found a dead body, and u cant even tell whether the dead body belongs to a man or woman, which race, age etc etc. but with forensic medicine, all these informations are possible to obtain! coool kan? i mean, it may not sound dat coool to u but once u go through the books and listen to the lectures, it is coool. even a single tattoo mark can tell u a lot of information. hahaha the rest? pharmacology - yucks. microbiology - so so laahh. pathology - best best! but pharmacology mmg cannot go laaa...

oh clinical posting, i'm loving it. most of my friends find it boring and tiring. well, it is tiring, but to me it is damn interesting man! i get to deal with real patients. i get to diagnose people. i get to see patients with splenomegaly(enlargement of spleen), hepatomegaly(enlargement of liver), thyroid swelling, ulceration, hernia etc etc. ahhh sooo coool! and taking up medicine is definitely not a mistake. i love it totally.

imagine if i were to take engineering?
pergh, gile ape. physics mmg cannot go la.

actuarist?
too much figures will definitely make me go mad, though i love mathematics. *yes, i was about to take up this field*

accountant?
again, too much numbers, boring.

architect?
gosh, i suck at art. *i specifically mean drawing okay, nk lukis tige segi pon hodoh*

tesl?
well, i do love to write hmmpphhh.. or

musician?
oh oh a big YES! no no i dun have golden voice but i love singing and i love to play guitar *gosh, dh lame gile tk main and my fingertips pon dh kembali lembut okkkaayy! hahaha*

supermodel?
hahaha nak nak!

oh whatever, i guess i'm destined to serve the nation as a doctor. insyaAllah. :)

i guess im a total lonesome here in bangalore. it's not like i dun have friends or what. but i would say a large number of malaysian students kat sini are romantically attached dgn student kat sini jugak. there's every chance to see couples here and there, tak kire la, senior ke, my batch ker, junior ke..bersepah! and my boyfriend is like sooooo faraway! when orang lain buat keje together, study same, pegi class same2, kluar jalan same2, teman each other pegi bayar bil la pegi pasar la draw duit kat bank la, i do it all alone. fine, tkde la everything pon buat sorang2, but i'm not the type who likes to depend on other ppl if i wanna do something, so i dun mind la buat bnde tu sendiri n sorang2. but, but bile tgh sorang2 skali ternmpak plak 2-3 couples at the same time tgh suke2 ria, rase lain mcm ar. pnah rase tak? cam rase, geram pon ade, tension pon ade, jeles pon ade.

earlier this day, i went to the bank nk buat demand draft utk bayar sewa umah. dhla bank tu jauh, jln la kaki sorang2. ditemani my mp4 semate2. pstu tak pnah plak buat DD ni, so cam terkapai2 sorang2 kat bank tu but settle la gak at last. but time tgh terkapai2 tu la i saw a few couples, pegi bank same2, naik motor siap. aku nie, jln kaki sorang2 je. tp i berjaye la buat muke kental, muke tkde hal. padahal.........waaaaaaaaaaa. jeles jeles! dush dush!

well, i guess that sum up everything for today, and a few days back. nothing really interesting kan? heheheh till then, bubbbye!

p/s : this is the song yg teman kite time jln sorang2 pegi bank tadi, dedicated to my little dinosour! i so miss u! :(

zahirah tarmizi, i am.

hello, i was tagged by nini and aida, at the same time. the questions are about the same, so i'll do both in one shot okay!

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, and to ask them to play and read your blog

Starting time: 3.44 pm
Name: nur zahirah binti ahmad tarmizi
Sisters : 4
Brothers : 1
Shoe size :6/7 (baiklah, saye mmg kaki gajah)
Height : 158 cm
Where do you live : section 9, shah alam :D terbaik!

Have you,

ever been on a plane : eh tak pnah la, datang india naik sampan okay!
Swam in the ocean : yeah, love it love it!
Fallen asleep at school : jgn kate school, dh besa panjang ni pon same jer hahaha
Broken someone's heart : i dun have heart of an angel, yes i did!
Fell off your chair : dulu slalu, time skola rendah n lower form..kwn2 suke tarik krusi time kite nk duduk.cis!
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : yes
Saved e-mails : very rare

What is your room like : luas and loving it!
What's right beside you : bantal peluk panjang imported from malaysia :)
What is the last thing you ate : self made nasik goreng. skip OBG talk sbb nk balik umah n masak. kebuluran tapi mahu berjimat cermat!

Ever had,

Chicken pox : mase std 6, grounded!
Sore throat : occasionally.
Broken nose : hahaha funny la!

Do you

believe in love at first sight : mmg tak. attracted, maybe. but not love.
Like picnics : with good food and great people, yes!

Who was/were,

The last person you danced with : my boyfriend, bazilah! hahahaha
Last made you smile : my boyfriend gak, azar syazwan kesayangan!
You last yelled at : ahhh...tak igt la.

Today Did You,

Talk to someone you like : talked to my friends n my dinosour
Kissed anyone : today, tak!
Get sick : sehat :)
Talk to an ex : hahahah mmg tak. nk kene ker?
Miss someone : very much smpai temperature naik. btul tak tipu.

Who do you really hate : erm, ade lah. hahaha
Do you like your hand-writing : yes! mcm doctor hodohnye!
Are your toe nails painted : not now
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : any, asalkan sedap.
What color shirt are you wearing now : mustard

Are you a friendly person : well, most of the time kot?? but i cn be really quiet when i dun feel comfortable with the crowd.
Do you have any pets : back home, yes, cats n ikan koi.
Do you sleep with the TV on : nope. bile nk tido, i'll make sure i sleep on my bed without anything else on my bed, and with lights off. tido mesti berkualiti.
What are you doing right now : kill time?
Can you handle the truth : i cant handle lies.
Are you closer to your mother or father : daddy! i'm daddy's girl! my mom garang arrr, scary!
Do you eat healthy : never bother, seriously.

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : tah mane tah
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : boyfriend and close friends.
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : loud kot? silence kills.
Are you confident : erm depends la. layan je.

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire,
-travel around the world together with my family
-perfect perfect pre-wedding, wedding, and post-wedding party :D
-ape lagi, shop for designer tops etc etc uh oh high heels! yes, buat library kasut.
-hantar my little soldiers pegi blaja tinggi2 (my adik2 yg berderet)
-buy anything that my parents wish for

5 things I was doing 10 years ago, (i was 11)
-pakai spek bulat (ye saye mmg rabun)
-main netball ganas2 smpai berlumpur2 serious tak tipu
-agak tomboyish laa...pakai seluar dlm baju kurung, abis kelas cabut kain pstu main kejar2 la ape la hahaha comel la plak.
-pegi kedai jauh sorang2 sbb nk beli chocolate(kalau mak tau msti kene marah)
-gile mel-c spice girls smpai suro org panggil kite mel-c malaysia hahahaha sengal

5 of my bad habits
-study last minute, dah la, dh pnat berazam nk berubah, give up ar.
-ponteng class aduyai
-pantang pintu bilik bukak if kite tgh lepak bilik grrrr! wpon tak mengadap pintu, kite tau pintu tu bukak ke tak, if terbukak automatic terannoyed tatau la kenape.
-tido without removing my make up.
-beli baju pstu pakai skali 2 jer or bli baju pstu tatau bile nk pakai. ish.

5 places i've lived/am living
-petaling jaya
-ss19, subang jaya
-section 4, shah alam
-section 9, shah alam (till now)
-gokula, bangalore, india

5 persons to be tagged
-open tagging, sape rase die cantik and hensem, sile buat.

gambar hiasan semata2

(padahal rindu sampai temperature naik)