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let's pray for this to last :)

saya pasti boleh!

i am so easily affected, emotionally, by songs. the worst part is that i dun feel like ignoring it and so, i keep listening and let myself get affected more and more.

i am so vulnerable. argh esok exam opthalmology.

ini semua craps. mari focus pada pelajaran! ira boleh!

i'm hating it.

some people only care when they're losing.

i have so much to spill, but definitely not here. i think i'm going through a maturation phase in my life now. i think so. i no longer think the way i used to think. i used to be so impulsive, i never really think thoroughly before doing something and that makes my life easier than ever. not to mention, FUN and so much fun!

and myself that i know now, thinks much more than she ever did before. gosh it's such a waste of time and it stops me from enjoying my life to the fullest! but this can't be helped. i'm no longer a little kid, who can simply say sorry and start a new game whenever things don't work out. and for that, i've to force my little brain to think and think and think sampai lebam. u know what, that sucks.

i wish i can be impulsive again. i wish i can just do things without having to think much about it. i wish life is fun once again.

childhood belief

masa kecik2 aku selalu tertipu. aku selalu percaya benda pelik2. bila dah besar rasa malu bile ingat balik. camanelah aku boleh tertipu and percaye bulat2 dengan ape yg orang ckp. pergh, camtu skali aku diperkotak-katikkan.

dulu2 aku selalu dengar orang2 tua ckp, tak boleh minum arak sebab arak tu air kencing syaitan. first time dengar macam, oh syaitan pun kencing ekkk? menarik nih. aku siap terbayang2 syaitan pegi toilet sebab nk kencing. lepas tu tengok kat tv pulak, arak selalunye kaler kuning2 gold2 camtu kan. tak jauh beza ngan air kencing manusia. lagi la aku percaya arak tu air kencing syaitan.

dekat shah alam ade satu kilang arak. besar. aku duduk shah alam dari aku kecik. so selalu la lalu seblah kilang arak tu. ala, yg tepi federal highway tu. time tu, aku bayangkan dalam kilang tu mesti ada banyak2 penjara. penjara tu tempat syaitan2 ni tinggal. syaitan2 ni akan take turn untuk kencing supaya bekalan arak dpt dimaintain. so, aku bayangkan pekerja2 kilang ni nanti yang kene pakse syaitan2 ni kencing, pastu angkut air kencing diorang untuk dimasukkan dlm botol2 arak.

itu theory and imaginasi aku pasal pengeluaran arak. semuanya bermule dari ayat 'arak itu air kencing syaitan'. lama jugak aku percaya benda karut ni. yang peliknya, aku tak pernah tanye orang untuk confirmkan kesahihan theory aku ni.

sampailah aku mencapai tahap kematangan otak, baru aku tau yang sebenarnya aku tertipu dengan ayat tu.

sampai hati diorang tipu aku. nasib baik aku tak percaya sampai mati.

so, what's your childhood belief?

kemeNYAMPAHan yang membuak2.

benci no 1 :

orang kedekut and orang berkira. yucks. menyampah tahap moksya kot. kalau makan pisang(contoh) pun sorok2 sebab takut luak orang lain mintak nanti, tu memang semua orang meluat la kan. aku rasa kalau kau boleh makan dalam jamban pun kau sanggup sebab kau kedekut sangat kan. lepas tu kalau masak, seboleh2 nk jimat. mentang2 masak untuk diri sendiri, kau pun masak la ayam masak merah tapi ayam tu seketul je sebab kalau masak 4-5 ketul, jadi sebab je nanti housemates yg lain pau sikit, mak ai. tapi time orang lain masak atau buat makan2, kau la orang 1st yang menyemak nak melantak semua benda. pergh, tak malu sial. dahlah kedekut, lepas tu berkira. kalau orang hutang kau rm15.25, 25 sen tu pun kau claim kot. malang kot sape jadi girlfriend orang macam ni. nanti setiap kali lepas makan, boyfriend kau bawak keluar calculator besar, senang sket nk kire bape banyak gf kau hutang kan. yucks. aku memang menyampah gile kot orang kedekut ngan berkira nih. weh, duit tak kemana dow. kau ingat kalau kau share barang dengan orang tu kau rugi besar ke? pahala dapat ade lah. ape tah yang kau bakhil sgt tu kan. orang kedekut ni sebenarnya lagi rugi aku rasa. korang rasa?

benci no 2 :

aku memang benci orang yg emo tak pasal2. orang jenis camni, nk bercakap pun susah. kang tak pepasal ada yang sentap. orang lain nak gurau2, kau nak emo2. get a life la orang2 emo sekalian. kau orang ni kalau nk bergurau kene bergurau lemah lembut lemah gemalai je ke? sorry la, aku tak boleh masuk orang mcm tu. orang2 emo ni jugak pantang kene tegur. padahal baru tegur "eh awak, tadi awak gune jamban lupe nak flush eh? lepas ni tlg flush ek" dah emo terus tak bertegur satu bulan. haih, sesak dada aku kawan dengan orang macam ni.

benci no 3 :

memang rasa nak sepak terajang kalau orang bad mood ngan kite sebab bergaduh ngan bf/gf atau baru lepas kene marah dengan mummy/daddy. hey, tu masalah kau kot, kenapa nak bad mood dengan aku. ingat kau sorang je pernah gaduh ngan bf/gf atau pnah kene marah ngan mummy/daddy? dah kau punye problem, pandai2 la settle. yang nk bawak kau punye mengamuk tu dekat orang lain kenapa? tak cukup2 gaduh ngan bf, nak gaduh ngan member gak ke. orang cakap elok2, kau reply macam haram. cube kalau aku buat perangai macam kau, tau kau nk emo ngan aku nanti. heh.

benci no 4 :

kau study macam nak gila tapi lepas tu kau paling bising kata kau tak start bace satu haram pun lagi. nanti exam kau score, kau budget orang ingat kau genius sebab kau dah kencang satu kampung kata kau tak study, tapi lepas tu result gempak nak mati. weh, get real weh. do u really have to put up such act so that people think u're another albert einstein? jijik kot? kalau kau dah study and dah bace buku 10 round, diam2 sudeyh, atau cakap je la kau dah bace. tk payah la nak blakon cool. sumpah menyampah kot? kau takut sangat ke orang kate kau nerd atau geek kalau kau dh study? weh, name pun student. kalau nak exam tu confirm2 la the right thing to do is study. tak kesah la kau rockstar ke mat rempit ke kuturayau ke, dh nama pun nak exam, kena lah study kan? dah study malu pulak nak mengaku. aku betul tak paham. kalau aku study, aku cakap je kot aku dah study. hey, i tak reti berlakon genius macam you la. ajar sket boleh?? yucks, jijik.

benci no 5 :

"ala, aku takde duit la. dah miskin dah ni. duit dh tinggal sket."
maybe ayat ni kite dah biasa sgt dengar. and sebab aku selalu sangat dengar, aku jadi annoyed la jugak kadang2. especially kalau dengar daripada orang yang ade simpanan duit yg bergunung ganang. aku tau, korang nak tambah gunung2 duit korang tu, tapi tak perlu kot cakap tkde duit. lagi2 kalau kau siap cakap nak makan roti canai rm0.70 pun kau tak mampu sebab takde duit so kau sanggup berlapar sebab takde duit. haktuih. duit berjuta2 tu nak bawak masuk kubur ke. aku geram betul. bukannye aku nak suruh kau takbur lagi bongkak ngan duit kau tu, tapi tak perlu kot ckp tkde duit. tak layak la weh. orang2 mintak sedekat tepi jalan pun mengaku ade duit wpun diorang hanya ada rm10. ape lagi kau yg ada beribu2 ni? baik zip mulut korang ketat2 before Allah makbulkan doa korang yg nak sangat takde duit nih.

hah, cukup lah dulu. aku pun tak sure ape motif aku tulis benda2 yang aku benci ni. yelah, kekadang bila benda dah jadi depan mata, rasa nak je sound tapi aku bukanlah jenis yg reti nak sound2 orang ni. kadang2 tu rasa menyampah aku meluap2 sangat tapi apekan daya, maybe sifat kedekut kau tu congenital and diwarisi turun temurun. but then kalau benda tu acquired, aku rasa slow2 kite bole improve kan? so, cubelah mane yang bole. this is reminder, not just for u, but also for myself. sekian.

anak keling

"bagilah gambar nak tengok muke anak keling" - that's exactly what my dad replied when i texted him about me reaching bangalore safe and sound from goa and about me suffering from super duper terrible sunburn in goa! yes, his words are funny most of the time :)

well actually, i dun intend to update about my goa vacation as nadia and aina has already written so much about it, but this is for u abah, for my family viewing pleasure! actually pics sangat2 banyak and still tak tergather, some pics are still with my friends, tengok la i'll update with more pics later. for now, this is what i have for u! :)

seafood heaven, sedap and also cheap!

superwoman menghabiskan makanan!

jalan kat india ni mmg cam haram sket to those who still dunno. and kitorang dengan jayanya duduk dlm keta smpai lebam for 14 hours from bangalore to goa. nasib baik dh blaja pharmacology so tau la gak ubat anti-motion sickness yg patut di telan kan so yeah, berjaya utk tak pening sgt wpon baz berjaya muntah 3 round. syabas. driver plak mmg drive tak igt dunia, sepanjang2 selekoh tu die pecut i can't remember bape banyak kali dh nk terlanggar ngan lori besar tu. memang mengucap je la keje dok dlm keta tu. thank god semuanya selamat :)

night time at britto's!

ni la anak keling tuuu waaaa sunburn
yg maha dasyat okayyyy!

goa tgh off-season. so beach tak semak sangat and bilik tak mahal sgt. too bad off-season ni tak ramai sgt mat salleh so project bersama utk cuci mata terpaksa ditangguhkan. cuba lagi di lain kali. kat sane, kitorang sewa motor. so snang sket to get around. thank god there are 2 girls yg reti bawak motor. and luckily azar was there too utk bawak motor hahahah snang sket to get around. i bawak motor? mimpi lahhh okaayyy! i'll start screaming the moment i press minyak so better not la kan. i look like badut lah bawak motor. it's always safer to drive a car lahhh!

parasailing :D

tengah laut~~~

and so the water sports! paling cuak is bumper ride, u duduk atas pelampung and ade boat tarik laju tak igt punya. sumpah tak tipu. anytime bole melayang if tak pegang kuat2. ni lepas bumper ride, i terus mabuk2 sket and terus cuak nk naik banana boat. fine call me chicken. mmg cuak pun wahahahahaha. sape suruh kasi naik bumper ride duluuu! kan dh mabuk2 + cuak2 ;p and parasailing is cooool :) and we get to have a close view of wild dolphins near arjuna beach. comellll amattt! and i did the most impossible thing, terjun into the deep sea which is like 1 km away from the shore. that is sooo impossible for me because i'm so chicken bab2 nk terjun2 laut dalam2 ni but i did it anyway, of course, with life jacket la kan if not i'm dead by now. oh actually, i didn't terjun sendiri, but orang boat tu yg tolak i into the water. agak jahat la kan? hahaha but big thanks to him, if not i won't dive into the water by myself. never kot?

waiting for our turn nihh!

baga beach :)

suntanning la ni konon..

we went to arambol beach, a secluded beach. rupenye kat sini mat salleh - mat salleh ni lepak. because baga beach and calangute beach are way too crowded, that's y kot diorang lari to arambol beach. this beach is gorgeous! too bad we get to hang around here for only 1 hour. :( the wave pun lagi besar, the water is clearer and byk rocks! sukeee!

this beach is gorgeoussss amattt!

di tepi pantai yg indah - arambol beachanak keling lagi. hahaha.
sunset lalalala~

bazilah and me :)

ha ni lah future docs!

time to go back. though we stayed there for only 3 days, as quoted by abah, i already look like anak keling sbb sunburn melampau. haih agak stress di situ tapi tkpe, i had fun! i am now planning for my next vacation ;p too soon eh? planning itu penting! and i guess i had enough travelling around india. i've covered mumbai, delhi, agra(taj mahal), tamil nadu(kodaikanal) and also goa. hope to travel outside india next ;)

so, i hope the photos are enough. i miss everyone at home! my baby anis is admitted to the hospital :( for some lung infection, let's pray for her to get better soon! :( hope everything is okayyy back home! till then, daaa!

tranquility hits me, finally.

that's me flying in the sky
remember when i say i feel like flying and running away from everything?
i actually did :)

and it feels so good!