finally, forever alone.

hahahah title saje nk kasi effect drama, tkdelah forever alone pon sebenarnya hihiks. yelah, a girl without drama is not a real girl kannn so to prove that i'm a real girl i must create drama la jugak hihiks *sarcasm*

the real title should be, finally i get to have my own room in india. finally get to have some personal time alone hihiks. this is not so new, i shifted to another house to finally get my own room yeayyy, about 5 months ago. okay dah lame sape suruh malas update blog kan tapi takpe sementara tengah galak nk menulis again ni i will post whatever lahhh. nak pics? pon boleh. *padahal dah tkde sape pun bace blog kau ira oi*

so anyway, i have no problem pun with my former roommate, in fact, she's by far the best roommate i ever had. we stayed together for more than 3 years kot. she was a reallyyyy close friend of mine kat KMS lagi. heee, i'm talking bout yaya.

i think she knows me inside out. we may have terasa or get annoyed about this and that la kekadang, biase la tu bukan senang nk hidup sebilik dengan orang kan tapi we can really tolerate with each other. mane kau nak dapat roommate yang boleh tolerate ur time tido semua, the noise u make, sometimes kalau tgh time depress tu dia jugak yang dok tanye 'kau ni apesal?', tahan sakit mata tengok aku nak bersiap lagi. hah, can really be an eyesore sbb i keep changing baju everytime bersiap nak keluar and everytime pun yaya will be like "tadi bukan kau dh siap pakai baju lain ke?" HAHAHAHAHHAA.

and the noise i make everytime study i suke melalak nyanyi sebab bila dah sumbat telinga ngan ear phone, kalau nyanyi lagu mariah carey tu rase mcm suara pun mcm mariah carey. dah kau tak dengar ur own voice sbb dah sumbat telinga ngan ear phone. yang kene menahan bahana telinga is my roommate jugak. terima kasih sebab bertahan. the noise i make everytime skype ngan family or gayut dengan boyfriend, but this is not just on my side, hihiks, yaya lagi hardcore when it comes to skyping :P terima kasih dekat i sebab bertahan hihiks :P

talk about waktu tidur. kalau time exam tu, bilik kitorang sure tak tutup lampu. we take turns. usually she will study up till 1-2am, and i will usually study smpai 4-5am, so she'll go to sleep first and will remind me to wake her up when i nak masuk tidur, and she will wake me up utk pegi exam pulak. we're symbiosis like that. hah, bagus kan.

sometimes mesti yaya sakit jiwa jugak beroommate kan i. yelah i kan suke drama wakakakakka. takde lah, sometimes gaduh ngan boyfriend ke, nanti tetibe jek

mata bengkak2. tak pun depress exam keee (ni mmg my fav, my mom dah knal sgt perangai i nih), tau2 je dah meroyan sorang2 dalam bilik. nak tak nak, terpaksa gak die amek tau buat2 tanye eventho die menyampah (tatau la die menyampah btul2 ke tak) tapi dh sebab roommate kau meroyan depan mata takkan nk buat bodo pulak kan. HAHAHAH. thank you yaya. jasamu sangat dikenang.

so this is yaya yang digembar-gemburkan. hihiks.

actually nak je bilik sorang but i have to choose housemates jugak. i am particular like that. takmo main pindah je dengan sesape yang u're not so close to coz to me it's very crucial utk ngam ngan housemates. otherwise, u'll be living on ur own in that house. tak best la gitu kan. so, that's why it took me so long to finally move out.

so i moved in sheila's n mary's house. i'm very close to sheila and bole la tahan leh masuk dengan mary. so yeah, why not? hihiks so here i am now, living with my 2 new housemates, sheila and mary. we went to europe together last year so that shows dat i can really live with them. kan kan. hihiks.

these are my 2 new housemates. this picture was taken last year in London.

soooo, was so excited bout having the room all by myself. hihiks. recently, P bought me this. DISCO BALL :p

and yes, the disco ball lights up my room now :P he knew i was crazy about having a disco ball in my own room so yeah, very thoughtful kan. hihiks. getting something u really really really didn't expect is like the best thing ever. thanks to P for the unexpected gift :P my room is even cooler nowwww! HAHAHAHA.

and this is how my room looks like. i painted the wall with soft purple colour and note the barbie bed sheet! yuppp there's little kid stucked inside me hihiksss!! eh biarlahhhh. i like it like that! my generasi plays barbie time kecik2 okay so i don't mind being 25 and still using the barbie bedsheet coz i think i'm cute like that. wakakakaka. ok cut that.

and as u can see, those are pictures of people i love. if u're in there, means i love u bebeh. i'm sentimental like that. i MUST have pictures of people i love hanging/sticked somewhere in my room because i'd like to see them everyday. hihiks. yup, i get attached to people and memories and ehhhh apesal plak nk sentimental ni i'm supposed to talk about my new room.

and have i told u that my new housemates are both from sabah? so yup, they talk to each other in their sabahan slang so somehow i have to fit in jugak. most of the time i will bantai sajes cakap semenanjung but sometimes tersasul2 jugak cakap sabah walaupun tak pandai tapi buat2 pandai jek. so this is us, me being annoying trying to talk in sabah wahahahaha. this video was recorded while we were in London, on one very cold nite waiting for bus to go back to our friend's house :P

so, i'll leave you with this video. till then, daaa.

indian traffic is no good

hello there people,

sooo, we got to leave early from the hospital today and instead of going back by car, i took a ride on kakli's bike hihiks. coz Nadia (the other owner of the car) had to stay a little longer at the hospital for her case presentation so yuppp, i ciao dulu la kan belum sampai seru pulak nak berajin2 dekat hospital, baik aku berjimba2 di bilik daripada lepak kat hospital kan. haisshhh bad example of medical student. bad bad bad.

it was a longgggg trip back home. it was supposed to take only 15 minutes from the hospital to our home but this time, it took us about 30-45 minutes, thanks to the horrible traffic. and u don't wanna talk about the weather, the sun burns my skin, it was really scorching hot!!!

and i guess kesempatan i utk merecord video kinda explain the time wasted on the road. it was hot and i was bored (as i was only the passenger kan, got nothing to focus on) so hihiks, did this to kill the time.

so, need i say more about indian traffic? the video says it all.

cheesy.

going stronger than ever before

hopefully :)

if i'm allowed to be selfish,

i surely wanna make you stay here a little longer,

but,

distance means so little when someone means so much :)

promises are overrated

how many people promised you the world,

but end up shutting you away from their world?

how many people promised to love you,

but end up falling in love with someone else?

how many people promised to take care of you,

but end up neglecting every part of you?

pseudo-pleasure

and then it hits me,

why do we enjoy sinful pleasure,

more than the real pleasure itself?

why must we get addicted to things,

that are illegal,

destructive,

harmful,

and expensive?

and at another corner of the world,

why do we see people,

begging or waiting for love,

to be returned,

from someone who will never be available for them.

and they never stop.

because love,

gives you pleasure,

pseudo-pleasure.

and just like other sinful things,

unreturned love is illegal,

destructive,

harmful,

and could be expensive.

Road Trip in India

okay this may be already a basi story but i'm gonna write about it anyway hihiks. reminds me a lot of how i used to update my life in my blog :P it's kinda fun u know, especially when u get comments from friends who read my blog (i doubt people still visit my blog nowadays) so yeah. here goes.

it was a trip to a place called Hogenakkal, it's a waterfall area located at Tamil Nadu, about 200++ km away from my place (bangalore). it was supposed to be a trip for bikers. and by bikers, i meant to refer to these bikers.

yup they are all my friends studying in the same uni as i am in India. and this trip was not their first trip, they've been going on and off a few trips before with their bike to Goa, Chennai and few other places. kinda adventurous, don't u think? if i were a guy, i think i'd do the same thing too. haha but honestly, i berani bawak scooter pun dekat area my house je, tu pun i must have my bf riding with me on the same bike lol.

so, introducing my ferrari!! :P this is the only car that followed the trip. okay this car dah la kecik and everyone was kinda expecting to sumbat their stuffs in my car and trust me, the car was overloaded and there were 3 passengers at the back (me, nadia and baz) and it was really stuffy i tell you but redah sajes nasib semua kurus2 hihikssss. hey, kalau tak kurus takleh jalan kot keretaaaa! haaa!

we even brought together the bbq pit and marinated chicken/hotdog as we were looking forward to have our own firecamp by the waterfall. the ferrari was too cute to be able to stuffed everything so kami terpaksa mereject bag kepunyaan butet n gee sebab memang dah tak muat dah but mereka adalah pengakap berjaya so they tied up the bag at his bike. awesome isn't it. turns out, beg merah butet memang very eye-catchy to follow so we didn't get lost along the way. hihiks.

so there was 5 of us in the car. us the 3 girls plus hamid and my fav driver, P. it was an awesome journey! the bikers rupenye camwhore kemainnnn. pantang nmpak we want to snap pictures of em from inside the car, pandai pulak slow down follow belakang kereta, if not lajuuuuuuu je bawak. selagi tak snap pics diorang, selagi tu diorang kat blakang kereta. lol.

Hogenakkal Waterfall was located in an area macam their version of hutan simpan la (something like dat) and we have to pay for the entry fees. the view was so cantek! and no wonder the bikers were looking forward to go to this place, jalan to this place, pergh layan okay. the road was smooth, berliku2 with good scenery too.

if it's not because of the limited space at the back, i would really want to drive the car too. but it seems like if i drive the car, one guy has to sit at the back and it was already sempit kat belakang and if laki duduk blakang lagi la sempit kan so i diam je la and let P drive all the way till our destination hihiks. dia pun kemain layan bawak laju2, aku duduk blakang memang takleh tido dah. it's just my nature that i can't sleep when someone else is driving the car (especially if he's driving it fast) kecut perut all the way though i can assure u he's really a good driver actually. ahahaha. this is my favourite supir hihiksss :P

and then we reached the waterfall. i swear it was beautiful. most places in india will really let u down but this place is cool. we went to the main waterfall but it was packed with tempe (local indians) so we decided to just cuci mata dulu jalan2 and later find a suitable place to set up our camp fire.

we bought some fresh fish and kayu api. and this was the time when ferrari turns into lori. kayu api pun sumbat dalam kereta, layan kan je lah. dengan all their jackets and stuffs. i took over driving the car from here together with baz. the other 3, nadia, hamid n P tumpang motor orang lain and we went looking for the perfect place to set up camp fire! hihiks.

found the place! scroll down to see our camp site :P the initial plan was that the guys will sleep la merata2 kat tepi sungai tu ke but the girls will sleep in the car but apparently, the site was a bit at the downside area that the car can't get through that place soooo, ermmm, redah je tu semua fikir nanti. yang penting dah jumpa sungai yg best untuk terjun. it was an isolated clean area! not to mention some batu bata that can be used to set up the bbq was already there. it was really our luck!!

immediately terjun into the sungai and seriously we weren't thinking anything about the possibility of the river having crocodiles in it. how can't we be so ignorant bout that? lol. nasib memang tkde buaya. the water stream was kinda strong that if u attempt to swim, u'll be swimming at one place for hours, yup it's that strong. hahaha. among funny thing that happened : i was about to drowned with gee. hahahahaha. okay im not really a good swimmer i tell you and when we were crossing the river suddenly there was a deep slopping area, lol pe lagiii drama la kejap kan luckily butet (gee's bf) was there so he kinda saved the day. hahaha. P? di darat sedang solat when it happened. hihiks.

recorded an awan nano video with my A2 classmates. kikikikik. it was a retarded video. time tu the guys were washing the ikan with air sungai. haa memang tak beragak la kan aku tengah dok mandi2 tetibe bau hanyir rupenye bebudak ni tengah basuh ikan dekat tempat kitorang mandi cehhh. kire kitorang mandi skali ngan ikan2. hahaha.

so at night, we had our own sweet time digging in bbq chicken/hotdog/fish nyumsss salivating already. played 'mafia' ramai2, lepak tepi sungai main guitar n nyanyi2. yea it was a great time to be remembered. and kononnye nanti time nk tido maybe 2-3 ppl kene take turn jaga, means to say, everybody can't sleep at one time coz somebody has to take care of our safety but turns out semua orang pun terbongkang tido. lol.

the funny part is, we didn't even have tent. we didn't even plan on how we would sleep tepi sungai ni so we end up guna the mat and whatever we have and tido. no tent. berlantaikan tanah and berbumbungkan bulan n bintang and bertepikan sungai. how cool is that!!!

i brought a blanket for P and not for me as i thought the girls will be sleeping in the car so i thought a shawl and my sweater would be enough for me to survive the night but since we all including the girls will be spending the night outside the car, P was left with no blanket at all. kesian dia. gave him my shawl and i guess he survived by menyentil2 sikit dekat selimut orang lain and sleeping bag orang lain. haihhh. swear i would bring 2 blankets if i knew this would happen. hihiks. takpe, we survived already :P

that nite when sleeping, ade gak la terjaga2 tapi when tau semua orang dah tido cuak jugak nk bukak mata lame2. wahahaha. i can't get my imagination run wild kang tak pasal2 terfikir hantu la harimau la ape la so bukak mata kejap tgk sumerang tido terus cpt2 lelap balik. and apparently our unggun api terpadam tgh2 malam tu and i realized about it tapi what can i do? takkan nk kejut diorang suro set up the fire again ? so macam tawakkal je lah. sebab one of the reasons of having it is to halau binatang buas kan. really thankful that nothing like that happened during our stay di tepi sungai hihiks.

and the morning comes. i was among the last person to wake up. what a baddddd impression! the guys rupenye dah bangun dulu ceiisss. butet got up early sebab nk carik port nk berak. wahahahahahah. yes ppl we do our business in the sungai. hey, back to basics la kan. there was no toilet around and we can't hold our pee the whole day. hahaha okay nasib baik perut i tak buat hal nk berak ke ape kalau tak jenuhhhhh gak tak pasal2 first time in my life berak dalam sungai kan. lol.

and we had our bath and by bath, i mean with sabun and shampoo and facial wash and brushing teeth and everything. if u ask me, tak geli ke kate diorang kencing berak dlm tuuu, errmmm, wallahualam, mintak2 la diorang nye port berak kencing tu kat bawah2 sket so we got fresh water aminnn. hahaha.

it was a quick weekend getaway. i didn't expect much from the trip initially, but it turned out well and good and in fact, we didn't really plan how the trip should be but alhamdulillah everything was on our side and turned out best gila plak tu so i guess that's what makes the trip more memorable. it was more like an impulsive trip doing impulsive stuffs hihiks.

we headed back home, again, P drove the car. the drove the car well wpun ade kecut perut here and there but i'm sure if i were the one to drive the car my passengers would hv been kecut perut too so that's normal i guess hahaha. but yeahhh, especially on the way back home, P really did enjoy doing his rally with my ferrari!!!! i iz so jealous i wanted to race tooo ahahahahaha :P

till then, daaa! :D

Hogenakkal Falls Roadtrip!

hogenakkal roadtrip from fairytale5 on Vimeo.

one of the best road trip ever! enjoy the vids! hihiksss..i'll post the pics later! :D

maybe i really am delusional.

i was generally expressive in nature. i am known (delusion of fame #1) to write whatever there is on my mind in my blog (or now, twitter) and share with you people. i know people hate me (delusion of fame #2) for being a bit outspoken in my writings.

or dalam erti kata lain, bila menulis tu, macam bagus.

so, am i no longer an expressive person? since i've been abandoning this blog for forever. yup i think my expressiveness regressed a bit along with my self-maturing process. i do regret posting certain things on my blog before, looking back, there were times when i acted like a child and write stupid stuffs. but well, people make mistakes and learn.

having a blog, i sure have gained quite a number of haters (delusion of fame #3) i was one hell of an active blogger before, voicing out my opinions about this and that. you know, eventhough sometimes my opinion about something is a bit absurd, i wrote it anyway, because i believe everybody has the right to have their own belief.

and apart from me being delusional, some of my readers are delusional too. while i was too busy writing about something else, might be referring to someone else, some readers thought i was writing about them. yeah it happened.

i was told about it and was dumbfounded to know that these people thought i was writing about them when the real fact is i was writing about my very own sister. people make assumptions, and as the result of the assumption they made, i became the object of hatred among them.

btw, that was just an example, an old story i have yet to share. and maybe one of many reasons i became less enthusiastic in blogging. not that i'm afraid people will keep hating me (seriously those people who hate me means nothing to me so they can go on hating me) but it's sick to know that people can really go about and make such an idiotic assumptions about ur writings. i do miss blogging somehow, it's so me. writing is so me.

apart from being expressive through writings, i am generally expressive in actions. like for example, when i love someone, i tend to show it a little bit too much. or when i'm angry, i'll burst like a volcano.

i rarely keep things to myself, but when i do, it only mean one thing : that i'm really really really hurt. and surprisingly, i've been keeping things to myself quite a lot lately.

and then it hits me, am i really hurt or am i losing my expressive nature?

either way, keeping things to myself isn't helping me in any way. and from things that has been happening around me, i concluded myself from being too hurtful by some people that even discussing about it won't make anything better hence the new less-expressive-ira.

however, let's not just look at the downside of the event. there must be something good about me being the new me. people will see me as someone who don't complaint, who accepts things as it is and someone who's thankful enough for what she has.

lol that is too angelic for me. people know how hot-tempered i am and being a penyabar like that, u can call it miracle, more like a world wonder.

maybe i am delusional to think that people are even aware of my changes. but i do hope somehow, people will stop treating me like an option.

and to bring this blog come back to life, i will, maybe, try to write more often and be more expressive in my writings. damn i can't just quit being expressive both in writings and actions, i can really die not expressing what i feel because that sucky feeling, if u keep it to urself long enough, it'll eat u from the inside. and before u know it, u may be too fucked up to care already.

Birthday matters.

It's my 25th birthday today :) and I have both Obgyn and Paediatrics exam on my birthday, but it's cool, I'm fine with it.

For the past 4 years of my stay in India, as medical student, I've been celebrating my birthday with examination. Both theory and practical, you name it. And usually, I'll have the toughest exam on my birthday itself. One that I'll never forget is when I sat for my Pathology Paper 1 during my second year, and guess what, I scored that paper quite well. One of the best birthday gift I guess.

I am used to people forgetting to wish or celebrate my birthday especially when everyone was busy preparing for exam, and no, seriously I understand and I have no issues against it. Having to celebrate my birthday with exam for 4 years in a row makes me wish that every other year for my birthday have to be a busy day, it feels fine to know that people forgot to wish your birthday because they're busy concentrating on something more important (like exam) than just merely forgot your birthday because they're too busy to care.

I am a bit sensitive about this and only few people know this very fact. All my life, since school time, people dear to me kept on forgetting my birthday. Just so you know, people dear to my heart includes best friends and boyfriend.

Me, on the other hand, is someone who remembers people's birthday quite well. It feels good to make people feel appreciated and loved just by wishing or celebrating their birthday, it doesn't have to be a big birthday bash that cost you hundreds (or thousands? which is very unlikely) but all it needs is lots and lots of sincerity.

Back to the issue I am sensitive about. I was always the kind of person who let things pass me by even if it hurts me to the deepest. But last 2 years when the person I expected the most to wish me birthday was the last person to do so (and at that time, 2 hours left till my birthday was over) I got really upset and I hated my birthday eversince.

I don't mind not getting thousands of birthday wishes from random people, but I expect boyfriend (someone I consider to spend the rest of my life with) to be the first to wish me my birthday. Well, if he can't be the first, at least he has to be on time. Hahaha. Okay fine, 5-10 minutes late is forgivable.

Is it really a big thing? Yes dude it is. Most girls think it is a big thing. And I'm sorry I am included in this 'most girls' category when it comes to this matter. Girls are particular like that. Boyfriends have to remember our birthday and anniversary. Itu wajib. If not, pergi terjun bangunan pls.

And I think I still do hate my birthday. I hate it even more when my birthday is near approaching. I hate to think that people will forget, and especially when people really do forget. I'm 25 and why am I making a big fuss over this?

Because I'm a girl.

Deal with it.

Muahahahahahahaaha.

(I wrote this post on my birthday itself, and then tergendala as usual lalalalal~)

hi stalkers.

see i’m not sure if u follow my blog anymore, but well, since u’re so obsessed with me so yeah maybe you do.

not gonna say much, just, u look like a total clown u know, keep updating the hate status for me and especially make it public in the facebook, i’m not gonna stop you, in fact, i want u to go on posting the hate status, people will know the real clown and the real dumbass is you, and of course, ur bitchy friends.

just so u know, im not at all interested in ur life (so-called upper eastside life in bangalore, seriously dude? HAHA back in KL u dun life this kind of life is it? :) that is beyond pathetic haihhh) as much as u are interested in my life. so yeah. keep it low darling, even if u’re dying to know my daily activities. u dun wanna look like my die-hard fan, don’t you?

cheers. ROFLOL.