Sunday, May 27, 2012

i'm such a cry baby!!

so we're finally here :( this is the beginning of my LDR omggg! was prepared for this long time ago but i guess things aren't that easy though i've already prepared myself mentally and emotionally.

so last night was our final dinner together in India before i sent him off to the airport earlier today. it was my treat, for his farewell and to congratulate him for passing his final MBBS exam and finally become a doctor :) last time he already belanja me sushi (sushi here is so damn expensive!!! even more expensive than having a dinner at this 5-star hotel, i'm not kidding!)

so i have started crying since 2 days ago lol. cried in my sleep knowing that he will be leaving. last night, i wrote a letter to him (hahahaha i'm traditional and romantic like dattt :P) tu pun dah nangis2, and then he came to my house and played a video i made for him pun i cpt2 blah pegi dapur konon2 nk buat air padahal my eyes dah bertakung, and then borak2 a little bit n he started telling some jokes n teased me but i cried coz i know i'll miss that nanti hahahah. tadi i sent him off at the airport, i did try to remain cool and calm tapi last2 i cried jugakkkkk, he wiped my tears, told me not to cry and smile and be happy for him, hugged me some more, only to make me cry even harder haihhh.

over gila okay i myself didn't expect i would be crying this much!! after i sent him off at the airport, went back home to catch some sleep, bangun tido balik i was hungry and it felt weird not to have him asking me where to dine tonight and i cried again. super lol. melampauuuuu macam orang meroyan baru break plak aku ni kannn!

guess i've gotten myself wayyy too attached to him while he was here. which i won't call it a mistake coz i love being around him, it kinda feel at home whenever i'm with him. he finished his exam and everything since 1 month back but he didn't go back to M'sia right away to wait for his official results and settle some stuffs, and for me of courseeee!! :P so he extended his stay for 1 month more and still i'm mourning when he left -_____-"

i was positive about him leaving, i told him, this must be a good thing, u know, for us to part temporarily (i hope) when we're together for wayyy too long already and then he blurted it out, yeah it cud be a good thing but u know this is 'cabaran' also, and then yeahhh i was being realistic too i know things won't be that simple but i'm crossing my fingers for this and for us to work.

u know i can go on and on with my rantings especially now that i tengah melayan perasaan yang lara ni hahahahha (drama queen nk mampos pls) but maybe i should stop, nobody really care about what i feel anyway even if i write 40 long pages of this. but of course, writing this out makes me feel a little bit better, glad that i got this off my chest.

so to whom it may concern, you'll be missed, in fact, i'm already missing you :(

i really hope 4 months won't change anything about us. i hope 4 months will only make us stronger than ever before. love you lotssss!!!!

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