not having so much readers just when i started out writing, i can write without that feeling of being judged by the public. yes, i do write a lot about personal stuffs (not la so personal sampai cerita pasal cebok berak ke apa kan, u know, on the surface of it je lah) like family, best friends and especially boyfriend gahhh, our trip, our day out, whatever shit we did, i wrote it in my blog.
my intention was not to show off, but i'm that kind of person who loves to keep a record of stuffs that i do. so that i have my own special way of reminiscing it instead of keeping it just like that in my brain. u know, bile ingat balik memories sambil bace ur old blog post, the feeling is different than just ingat balik just like that. get what i mean? get it get it?
and then it came to a point when my number of blog followers was rising, i get lots of comments (some are positive comments, occasionally i do get offensive comments too) from my readers, not to mention, i do get comments from anonymous too.
apparently, that overwhelming feeling of getting quite a number of followers don't last long. i get that exaggerated feeling of being too exposed to the world (hahah melampau kan nak rase mcm tu padahal i'm not even a celebrity pun ahaha dat's why cakap exaggerated :P) but somehow, i do hear la some suara sumbang u know, saying this n that about me, acting like they know me just by reading my blog. my god, ppl can really be cruel.
and then i slowed down a bit in blogging. the downside of having a blog is u'll have people thinking that they know u to the very core, and spread shit about u. this is the truth.
and ade nak dekat setahun jugak la i really turned on the hibernate mode, i don't really blog anymore especially not about family, friends and boyfriend. people do ask me why i don't blog anymore, some of the things i said to reply them was 'i lost the drive to write' and 'am too busy to write'
but the actual thing is, i was in that phase where i don't wanna write coz i feel like everyone will read and everyone will judge me and eventually i will get no good things in return.
but now that my blog traffic has slowed down a bit (a lot actuallyyyyy), i feel like i'm free to write again hihiks. i hope to be a better writer and i hope not to deal with judgemental readers anymore.