in my mind

12.40 AM, disco ball is currently spinning above my head (no i'm not in the club or something, i'm in my room :P) but i am not at all tripping over it. currently feeling a bit lonely hihiks.

hello boys, lonely girl is here :P gahahahaha.

as much as i wish to still have someone (in this case, a guy) to keep me company, i don't think i wanna risk screwing up what i already have just for temporary pleasure.

and yes, this is me being all grown-up, talking :)

<3 from thousands of miles away.

wall of art HAHA.

by my PePe Le PewPew! :P

bits and pieces of memories in India :)

just a little update about our sports day and food festival in India :)) not Indian food festival, the food was mostly Malaysian food weeehoooo good thing about living abroad is daripada zero tak reti masak at all, sek2 yang tak reti duduk dapur tu, confirm kau terer masak bile dah duduk jauh sebab you just can't stand eating local Indian food everyday it makes you wanna puke!!! imagine la hari2 makan masala dosa, pstu poori, pstu masala dosa again, errghh rasa berdosa dengan perut okay sebab asik sumbat dgn makanan india. so, nak tak nak, tetibe terterer masak plak. haaa, i'm talking bout myself la ni. caye tak caye tak?

okay the major event was sports day but why am i talking more about food that sports? typical ira who loves to eat which is worrying but i don't wanna add more wrinkles to my face worrying bout my eating habit just yet (okay la nanti i jage makan, promise!) so let's talk about my sports day pulak!

i love sports day coz it's the time when we can actually get together and forget the books and hatred (eh?) and just get together and support each other hihi. i sebenarnya adalah orang yang suka any kind of get-together event :) i hate just staying at home wondering what to do what to do, just not that kind of person. hahaha.

so anyway, i was rooting for futsal match coz few good friends were playing for our team hihiks so yeah, we made it to final match and got 2nd place :) good enough i guess considering the lack of practice ahahaha :P andddd, we bolot 1st place for basketball for guys and tarik tali for guys :D the girls mostly got 1st runner up :) okay la what, last time the girls mostly bolot the first place hihiks this year maybe no luck :))

oh btw, we came to support this girl!! introducing, ninot!! mase tengah dok main2 dalam padang pun bole sebok interact with supporters yg sakat2 dia! hahah such a baby, tapi main futsal! and the 2nd picture is picture of me and close friends here. except for ninot, the rest hanya datang to support and makan :P orang lain shed some lemak during sports day, we add some more lemak into our system hahahahaa. very bad!!!

walaupun i tak main pape, tapi i sunburn gak sebab i penyokong tegar walaupun i sorak sorang2 -____-" i suke cheer ramai2 well, that's the fun part of being cheerleader kan!! :D paling suke cheerleading in school, the best ever! suara dari ayu2 terus jadi garau. nak sokong punye pasal. hahahaha.

and the best part about sports day jugak is everyone can get to cuci mata (i tkleh tulis 'i can get to cuci mata' sat g i kene pelangkung ngan boyfriend hahaha) hahhh. my shades serve a big purpose coz it was so dark and usha-ing was easy lol so what happened was, sekejap bazilah zain pinjam, kejap si nadia pinjam, time tu tujuan pakai shades bukan sebab panas pun, sebab mengusha. ewah kakak2 ni, padahal yang ada semua pangkat adik2. lol.

di sini jugak kita boleh lihat perkembangan badan seseorang. budak tu dah kurus, budak ni dh slim, budak yang tengah tulis ni, same jek wahahahaha. ade peer pressure susah, tkde peer pressure pun susah, i serahkan pada takdir je lah. nak kurus tu rezeki, taknak kurus pun rezeki jugak, nak buat camane lagi dah. i redha hihiks (ciri2 orang malas bersukan!)

i memang malas bersukan!! tapi i regret jgk i actually stopped playing sports bile masuk upper form dulu. mase sekolah rendah and lower form, please la percaya walaupun dgn keadaan i sekarang ni i know semua orang takkan percaya, but please la percaya, i active gile sukan kot!!!! hahahahahah

sekolah rendah i used to jadi wakil lompat jauh and lumba lari ade la sket2, and i played netball and bola baling (wonder skarang ade lagi ke orang main bola baling) smpai berlumpur2 okayyy hahahaha :P and lower form plak i played lots of basketball! lepas tuuuuu, i got surgery done for my appedicitis and the doc tak kasi i play sports for quite some time tp i mungkar so lepas tu the surgery wound lmbat heal and it hurts everytime i play sports.

and then i slowed down a bit, lepas tu masuk je asrama, haa amek kau, semua orang lagi terer basketball semua orang lagi terer netball and all. memang bye ah. memang time tu i nak pegang bola pun segan sebab dh semua orang tinggi2 and lari laju2 and lagi terer so memang tamat riwayat i bersukan. but yeah, if u ask me, i regret gak la pegi stop bersukan since masuk asrama tu. it's a big loss!!! padahal time lower form tu i siap boleh mengamuk if kelas PJ kene cancel. ekekeke.

sedar tak sedar, it's my 5th year in India. time flies. tak lame lagi i nk balik Malaysia for good dah. doakan i balik on time, and with my MBBS degree :) ya rabbi i tak sabar gile dah nak berkhidmat utk negara (wakakakkakaka padahal tak sabar nk balik Malaysia) tak kesah la tu kan, nak tak nak i terpaksa gak berkhidmat utk korang2 semua nanti. yang penting, doakan i jadi pass my final with flying colours hihiks i takdela berharap sgt nk dapat distinction utk final year ewahhhhh wakakkkakakaka memang tak la weiii final year punye portion mati hidup semula pon kau takkan habis bace, kalau habis bace pun kau tak mungkin ingat semua lol. cukup la i pass dengan senang hati :)

truth is, it scares the shit out of me. the final professional exam. dengan system and format baru nye. memang gila. tapi kite ni student yang tidak berkuasa, apekan daya, orang atasan kate tukar format, kite pun kene la ikut cakap. i dh puas mengadu domba dah pasal ni, looks like luck is not on our side, but pray for us yea! :D

till then, daa!

so why do you think she walked away?

hello brothers!! (sebab target readers for this post are male readers, which i highly doubt wahahah tkpe lah buat2 je la i ade male readers okkkk! tak pun if you happen to read this post, please print out this post and hantarkan karya asli i pegi magazine maskulin ke whatever pleaseee, OK TAK I BUAT LAWAK JE TAK PAYAH NAK BUAT BEBETUL AKU PANG KARANGGGG)

anyway, pernah tak happened in your life, kau ade awek yang cinta kau separuh jiwa raga, tapi tanpa disangka2, she finally walked away from you? and tinggallah kau tertanye2, ''but she can't live without me, kenape die blah???''

let me ask you now, what did you do to her? and now, please perah otak habis2 and ingat balik, what did you really do to her?

found the answer yet? it's okay. keep reading, maybe in the end you'll know.

girls in love have really fragile heart. as a girl, i admit, girls in love are easily influenced by the one she loves. when i say easily influenced, it includes her emotion, her action and her decision.

just so you know, every words that comes out from your mouth will definitely affect her. whatever you do and your decision, will affect her, will leave her wondering, did he think of me when he made that decision? did he think of me when he did that? paham tak? so know your girl right, be very sensitive about what she will feel because we need that, we need you people to care about our feeling.

TAPI malangnya, lelaki sensitive ni memang species nak pupus kot i rase. kebanyakan laki ni cakap ikut sedap, buat ikut suka, janji kau senang, awek kau tu kau buat2 lupa. ha, tudia laki sek2 sekarang, camtu lah.

TAPI yang malang memang the girlfriends, tapi the boyfriends are usually lucky. pasaipa? sebab slalunye girlfriend2 korang ni penyabar orangnye. believe me when i say, even the most hot-tempered girl can really be patient towards the guy she loves the most. fact!

i would rather call this as 'hukum alam'. girls are naturally (and mostly, not all though) penyabar like that. make her cry million times pun, she'll still love you, make her go meroyan million times pun, she'll still find you, make her thinks she's stupid for still sticking around with you pun, she'll still stick around.

up to the point where the girl gets bitter with you. like, really tawar hati. and this is a really dangerous state of mind. not dangerous as in dangerous physically, but dangerous means she can now leave you anytime, because she had enough of everything.

you know, people will eventually leave no matter how much they love you if you keep hurting and abuse them emotionally. keep repeating the same old mistakes even if they are small mistakes but actually little things like this when you do repeatedly, the girl will first lose her hope in you not doing the same mistakes again, and then she'll lose faith in you, finally she'll know it by heart that you're just not worth her time anymore.

so, she walks away even though she loves you to the very core.

because u've taken her for granted.

sometimes, you don't have to cheat on your girlfriend to lose your girlfriend. repeated small silly mistakes that has been dragging on for too long, that, can make your girlfriend walks away.

sebab dia dah tawar hati dengan kau.

How to be a good decision maker?

i asked myself this question and here's what i can think of. .

nobody really knows if the decision made is the best. fact! you got married to a girl and live happily, go in and out of the country every other year for honeymoon, have kids yada yada, and u think that's the best decision u've ever made.

but u never know what would really happen if you get married to another girl, what if marrying the other girl brings you closer to our Creator, makes you a better person in so many ways, and make you realize what life is all about, now, which one is the best decision?

still, if you can foresee the future, you still don't know which one to choose. right? would you rather choose happiness in terms of wealth/people or happiness in terms of your inner soul n things like that?

i dunno about other people, but to me, when you're in a situation where you need to make a big decision in your life, like for example, choosing a job, or choosing a life partner, first you need to look through the options you have and of course, analyze the kebaikan, kekurangan, opportunity and threat (okay, i'm actually applying SWOT analysis for this ahahaha hebak sangat mu ni dehhh)

*in case you dunno, SWOT analysis is Strength, Weakness, Opportunity and Threat, it's a principle usually applied when setting up a business (well, i studied business and management when i took IB in Kolej Mara Seremban :p - but anyway, i guess you don't have to study business and management to know this thing ahahahahaha)

okay cut that shit about SWOT analysis, what i meant to say is dalam bahasa melayunye, fikir masak2, bincang with your parents and close friends, ask for their opinion and then, yakin dan tawakkal. that's all. make your decision now, and go live ur life!

the best person don't always make the best decision, trust me. but sometimes, every decision made is a new adventure of you, maybe not the final destination that matters just yet for you, but it's the hurdles, the mistakes you think you just made and the experience that you're gonna get through after deciding something yang lagi bermakna and yg sebenarnya lagi u perlukan. paham x paham x?

okay contohnye macam i skarang. i belajar medic dekat India to get my MBBS degree, that's by far one of the biggest decisions i made in my life. i made quite a life-changing decision when i was 18 - to spend the whole 5 years studying medicine in India. i could have taken the other offer to study medicine in UIA which if i were to compare again, banyak jgk the advantages if i study locally, closer to home, i get to keep my friends, probably less stressful coz only God knows how stressful it is to live in India -____-", i won't missed lots of wedding(s), party, concerts etc etc and lots more, and still be able to get my MBBS degree.

comparing my life in India, India is lame okay! everytime i nak final exam, time tu la electric asik takde memanjang, believe me when i say i pnah study utk final exam pakai lilin and lampu handphone, before i decided to get myself an emergency lamp! what's worse? local indian adalah a bunch of people yang byk menguji kesabaran i, janji 5 minit tapi 5 jam kemudian belum tentu you get what you want, what else? i drive here in India, berapa kali drama menjerit dalam kereta sebab i was close to getting hit by another car/lorry/bus (yes, i lost count!!) sampai yang macam immuned tu okayyy.

pnah skali tu i cam mamai2 dalam kereta, someone else (local indian) was driving the car and he was driving so fast and so recklessly (luckily die hebat emergency break and all) and we were so damn close nak kene langgar with a big lorry, time tu all my other friends were sleeping and i was the only one awake and when it happened i macam startled and went 'fuckkk!' lepas tu sambung tido. padahal aku lagi sikit nk mati kene langgar lori ok tapi bole rilek je lepas tu kannn haa that's Incredible India. kalau kau lagi sikit nak kena langgar dengan lori kat Malaysia mesti kau cerita kat semua orang lepas tu kan. kat sini, bende tu semua biase jek hahahaha.

so anyway, my point is, when you look at it on the surface, you and I will agree that studying in Malaysia is better than studying in India. i get to save all the worries and the stress and save myself from getting wrinkles at early age (gosh please) but just look a little deeper, and ask yourself (in this case, myself la), that life-changing decision i made when i was 18, to study in India, was it really a mistake?

.

.

.

nope. certainly nope. betul, i complaint a lot, like really a lot, sometimes i rase breakdown rase nak balik Malaysia je terus nak quit belajar dekat sini coz it's really tough to be here, away from family, with shitty environment BUT...

maybe i need this. maybe i need all this cabaran to prepare myself to be a better person. maybe Allah campak i kat tempat keling ni supaya i jadi manusia yang lagi reti bersyukur bila tengok homeless india tido tepi jalan keje mintak sedekah je, supaya i jadi orang yang bersabar kene deal dengan orang india yang memang tk pernah tepati janji, supaya i jadi orang yang lebih menghargai my family and friends yg jauh dekat Malaysia sebab i rarely get to see them but bila i duduk dekat rumah tu hari2 tendency i nak gaduh dgn mak i adalah sangat tinggi (fact!), get my point?

see, it's not always the final destination that matters, it's always the journey that teach you to become a better person everyday. so if you think ur decision was a mistake, u're wrong, it's a lesson learnt :) so why are we so afraid to decide when truth is, every decision made is a new adventure to all of us, or, shall we call it, a teacher? :)

all in all, when deciding something, be cautious but don't over cautious, be confident about your decision and let God do the rest of the thing :)

the sweetest thing about LDR. . .

i always adore couples who survive long distance relationship :)

no scandal no disloyalty no cheating in between,

it's just one of the hardest,

yet sweetest thing to do,

for the faraway lover.

to me, the sweetest things about being in long distance relationship are ;

when you can trust the person without thinking too much about it,

when you're smiling all on your own just thinking of the crazy things you did,

when listening to love songs make you miss them more,

when reading their messages makes you smile ear to ear,

when you pour your heart out writing a long message to them and feel better afterwards,

when the other half is able to comfort you even from miles away,

when they remember to wish you good morning and good night,

when you're counting the days just to be in his arms again,

when you work hard to finish up things in time so that you can meet each other quickly,

when you don't do things that can break his trust,

and,

when both are really waiting anxiously to be with each other again <3

the reason i'm writing this

jadi, awaklah superhuman itu?

just a normal human being,

tapi bongkak bila berkata-kata,

kau fikir,

kau superhuman with superpower?

it's okay,

mari menanti yang pasti,

satu hari nanti.

specialty

mencuba dan terus cuba is my specialty,

mencuba dalam sedih sakit hati marah sentap serabut is also my specialty,

watching people trying but do nothing 'bout it could be yours.

my little escape

spent a little time with myself at a place that provide me complete serenity today :) i won't tell you the place but you can imagine a serene hideout like the rooftop, beach, cool hill, yeap something like that :))

it's like a habit. wherever i go, i will have that little hideout place where i can go to whenever i feel down or angry or anything. this is me since forever. there was this one time, me and my family went to PD (we never go to fancy island or anything, my parents are certainly not into travelling like me - at least not for my mom) and i was "missing" to a little hideout place -somewhere along the beach je but a little secluded area, just relaxing and thinking- and my dad got really worried he thought i was really missing and marah me like crazy when i got back to our villa :/

back in my home, i always have our little pond area that sometimes i duduk tepi kolam celup kaki just thinking and thinking. if i want an escape yang jauh sikit, i always go to this one condo and lepak at the rooftop overlooking shah alam nice view :) dulu, there's this one bukit i used to go jugak, but now no more sebab ade construction rumah and all (ntah2 dah siap pun rumah dekat situ)

most of the time when i do this, my aim is to gain peace. at this hideout place, i can cry, i can marah, sometimes i write or listen to music and most of the time just blankly stare at the view with heavy monologues inside my head!

if i can make a movie of out this, it's gonna be an awesome one okayy *imagine myself sitting by the beach, tgh termenung, and then ade suara (kononnye suara dalam hati) -i'm not getting married with this guy- -you are getting married with him because this is ur parents' wish- -but i don't love him- -so you don't love your parents?- -but this is about my future- -but your parents are everything-* hahahahahahahha OKAYYYY DRAMA MELAYU TAPI CAKAP ENGLISH.

siapa yang tak pernah buat mcm ni, mesti korang tak pernah tengok movie feeling2 kan or simply takde feeling tengok cerita2 camni :P as far as i know, very few people have similar habit as i am yang will prefer to spend time with myself whenever i feel like it.

i enjoy going shopping alone too, and if i have to i will have my meal alone at the shopping mall, yes it happened many times and i find it normal but people will go, whyyyy ira why you pegi makan sorang2! hahahaha dah i pegi shopping sorang, takkan tetibe i nak call people up just to teman i makan. my own personal record was shopping from morning till night with high heels, having both lunch and dinner alone with snacks in between at mid valley some time back, and i went back home feeling REFRESHED :)

now, i'm going to prioritize my life. i want to concentrate on my studies as my finals is only in 4 months time :D so, yeah. i'll be over this soon! wish me luck!

uh oh before that, i would like to quote my sister as i find this very deep and meaningful. may help some of you too :)

"as long my hubs ,my father and my sibs kenal siapa i and terima i seadanya,i dont need to justify myself to anyone...bukan org2 nie pernah tanya kabar or ambil kisah pun ... :)))"

Grateful

I can't thank you enough for all the wonderful people you gave me.

Thank you, Allah :)

Belly Piercing

if u're a regular reader of my blog u'll know i'm a fan of piercing pleasure ahahaha. got myself more than 1 piercing on each ear but now i dah tak pakai subang banyak2 sebab umur dah 25 so i really have to act my age already :P plus the 3rd piercing onwards dah pun tertutup so if i nk buat perangai muda mudi pun i can only wear up to 2 earrings each ear.

anyway, i wanted to do belly piercing since soooooo long before but never really have the guts to do so coz i used to have a close friend who got the belly stud literally sunken in her belly, quite a significant complication -____-" so ever since that happened i macam cuak jugak nak pierce my belly.

until recently!!! :P

yes i got my belly pierced about 3 months ago i think :D why? how? where? hahahahhaha it was an impulsive act jugak lahhh. i googled about having a belly piercing in bangalore but i wasn't really sure about doing it until i had a silly billy argument with my boyfriend which makes me feel a bit rebellious (eleh konon sangat) so getting it done was no longer an option that particular moment. ahahahhaa.

funny part is, he was in the middle of his exam when it happened, so we had an argument and dia pun takde mase nk pujuk i, i pun malas nk tunggu die pujuk i so i macam 'eeee malas nk fikir baik aku tindik pusat jekkkk' so without further delay i went straight to Jayanagar (pergh jauh ok tempat ni) right after my class that evening untuk mengejar mimpi dan cita2 i ahahahaha.

melilau2 jugak carik the tattoo/piercing place ni and when i finally found that place turns out they don't have belly studs. hek elehhh! padahal on the phone they said they do have belly studs, eeee memang bengang gila time tu dah la i traveled quite far to get it done sekali they don't have the belly studs. memang mengundang kemarahan betul.

they offered to pierce my belly using the eyebrow studs. memang kepalahotakmu sangat la kan. belly studs are curved studs while eyebrow studs are straight studs so they really are not convertible as claimed by the shop owner. kalau la i memang tetibe caught up in the moment nak jugak buat perangai nk pierce pakai eyebrow studs, mau menggagau kesakitan coz straight stud, when pierced into ur belly, will definitely make ur skin stretch more than it should. sakit woahhh.

lucky me, the tattooist was really nice. while the person who was supposed to do the piercing was away, he talked to me saying that it's really not a good idea to go on piercing my belly with the eyebrow stud and he suggested another place in commercial street. and as we know, commercial street sangat lah packed so telling exactly where the shop is really not that easy and he actually offered himself to accompany me to that very place. my luck baby my luck.

i agreed and he brought me to that place. btw orang yang nak pierce tu kemain bengang jgk dengan the tattooist actually sebab kire macam the tattooist makes him lost his customer, but anyway, if it wasn't because of the tattooist pun i don't think i wanna go on with the piercing there.

reached the piercing centre in commercial street, it's actually more like a salon. and yes, they do have lots of belly studs there so i chose the belly stud first before getting my piercing. i was over-excited okayyyy coz i finally get to tick off one of my 'things i must do before i die' list :)

the needle used was sterilized (yea being a medical student, u will be extra cautious bout this) and she did not give any anaesthetic. i actually thought i'll be getting some anaesthetic first before she go on pricking my belly but nope, she literally poke my belly with the big needle hahahha and needless to say, it wasn't painful when it happened. but it was painful when she sprayed some alcohol or something, also for sterilization purpose. pedih ok, but my excitement was so much more than the pain itself.

taking care of the belly piercing wasn't that easy. ingatkan the scariest part is to pierce, but taking care of the piercing was worse. hahahaha. for the first few days i had to put antibiotic ointment around the piercing as prophylaxis (so that i won't catch infection at the surrounding area) and bahana kau terlanggar piercing tuuu...pergh sakit nk mati time tu sampai rase 'damn kenape aku pegi tindik pusat!'

there was this one time i was walking from the car park to the hospital, holding the big SRB Surgery text book sambil time tu tengah raba2 nak capai my phone coz it was ringing and pappp, the text book slides from my hand and fell onto my belly. pedepergghhh rasa macam kena tikam, sakit siotttt.

it took about 3 weeks gak for the pain to really go away, meanwhile i kena jaga takleh terlanggar (but trust me i lost count bape banyak kali i terlanggar the piercing) and thank god, now no more pain!! hahahaha but kekadang tu ade la jgk sakit tapi not like awal2 dulu lah.

and forgot to mention, at earlier stage my skin jadi hyperpigmented surrounding the piercing area, which is hodoh but now my skin is back to its color, i guess time tu dengan tgh inflammed nye dengan i asik terlanggar nye jadi hyperpigmented kot.

so if you ask me, do i regret doing this? nope! this is what i've been wanting to do since years ago and i don't regret doing this! ahahaha i don't have a proper picture of my belly piercing, gmbar yang ada semua gambar vain sendiri2 so tak kosser la nk upload gmbar vain ahahahaha. i basically did this belly piercing for my own self satisfaction rather than nk tunjuk orang sangat, that's why tkde lagi gmbar my belly piercing :P will post it up if ade nanti!

so girlies, if you rase nak buat belly piercing but takut of the complications, i'd say, with proper care, there's really nothing to worry about, you should really go for it. it makes you feel awesome! :P even if you're not the type who wears crop tops to show off your belly part, you can still feel good about it even if you don't show it to others kan! hihi it's really not about showing off to people, it's about what u've been wanting to do and the feeling i get after doing it!

so yeah, go for it :) and i'm open to answer any questions regarding this! hikss <3

till then, daaa :)

i am born gedik and i really can't help it zzz

ahahahaha believe it or not, wherever i go, daripada zaman lower form and then i went to boarding school in upper form, smpai college and uni life, people always call me gedik and if you ask me, i am not at all offended with people calling me gedik. biarlah, aku gedik gila pun aku tak dengki dengan kau kan.

sometimes i ask my close friends jugak,

"kenape korang panggil aku gedik dowh?"

"aku gedik sgt ke?"

"buat mcm tu pun kire gedik ke?"

and the replies that i got are somewhat the same, like dis,

"dah sejak bile pulak kau tak gedik?"

"gedik is ur trait so live with it"

"and u ask ppl why we call u gedik? iraaa?"

hahahahahhaa. so paham tak? gedik is ira, ira is gedik, paham tak how gedik is strongly adherent strongly associated strongly assimilated (motif gune ayat ala scientific? nk bgtau aku medical student) in me. paham tak i didn't try to be gedik ala2 lemah lembut lemah gemalai or manja2 cam anak kuning tu ke, i am just being myself. and if being myself makes people call me gedik then be it. kenape nak sakit hati sgt?

"dah orang panggil kau gedik, pesal kau tanak change?"

hek eleh pesal aku nk ubah diri aku just because people call me gedik. aku gedik pun aku ade dengki dengan kau? aku gedik pun aku ade menggedik ngan boyfriend kau? aku gedik pun aku ade buat palat dengan kau? aku gedik pun aku ade menyusahkan hidup kau? takde kan takde kannn??

kalau dah sakit mata sangat tengok aku terkinja2 gedik, tak payah la su

sah2 pandang muke aku kalau aku ade seblah kau, tak payah susah2 stalk aku dekat facebook atau twitter and paling penting, tak payah susah2 nk jaja cerita kata aku gedik bagai dekat kawan2 kau yang sebenarnye lebih kurang je gedik ngan aku. get it get it?

and please, tak payah perasan claim korang kenal aku sangat2 kalau korang tak knal aku personally. personally here means kau memang kenal aku as in rapat dengan aku, boleh borak slambe2 dengan aku and bole buat lawak bangang dengan aku.

setakat borak tanye ''dulu you sekolah mane?" lepas tu tegur hi kat aku 2-3 kali kau ingat kau knal aku personally ke? memang tak. lepas tu nak cakap ''aku mmg kenal sangat ira tu, perangai memang macam sampah'' ewah ewah. sampah masyarakat sangat kau ni kalau borak asik nak menyampahkan orang, abis perangai kau habis mulia eh?

memang la on the surface aku ni nampak gedik, superficial, materialistic plak tu, perangai diva pun ade jugak kadang2, ade jgk orang panggil aku drama queen wahahaha tapi itu ape yang korang nampak dari luaran. kalau kau tak pernah susah senang dengan aku, tak pernah tgk my kind of friendship or relationship, tak pernah tengok how i am with my family, clearly u dunno my hati budi so u're clearly not in the position to judge me.

tapi tkpelah, aku sebenarnya dah habis lali with people hating me. it happens everywhere i go and aku pun tak pnah mintak semua orang suke aku. i mean, i am well aware that u can't make everybody like you, coz you can't afford to impress everybody pun. kau nk benci aku? benci lah. if u're a nobody to me, i seriously don't care if u hate me. cume yang aku akan kesah kalau kau cari pasal dengan aku sebab if you think i'm just gonna sit still when orang buat palat dengan aku, u're really wrong.

so pokoknye, aku tak kesah korang nk panggil aku gedik ahahahha tapi kalau kau rase aku tak pnah susahkan hidup kau or dengki dengan kau, tk payah la susah2 nak mess with mine jgk. it's really tiring. dah besar kot, aku pun dh 25, ingat aku hadap lagi ke nk buat perangai saiko gaduh ala2 high school? haa. nk korek himpunan kisah2 saiko aku gaduh time sekolah2 dulu memang belambak2 hahah tapi tu semua time aku tak matang so skarang aku dah matang, i'm sure u guys are too, unless you are mentally sick yang hunger for more n more drama to spice up ur life -___-"

signing off now.

gimme some peace of mind dudeeee!

girly times with close friends :D

this blog is too full of writings coz i'm too lazy to upload pics. alahaiii i malas nk upload pics bagai sebab bukannye *cough* fashionista *cough* sangat!

anyway, tkyah nk konon fashionista sangat, i orang kebanyakan jek baju pun ade xde je brand, muke pun tkde nk make-up sangat, jalan pun tkde nk cam model sangat tapi who cares, dis time tahan je tgk aku upload pics byk2 eh.

less words, more pics :) daaa.