it's like a habit. wherever i go, i will have that little hideout place where i can go to whenever i feel down or angry or anything. this is me since forever. there was this one time, me and my family went to PD (we never go to fancy island or anything, my parents are certainly not into travelling like me - at least not for my mom) and i was "missing" to a little hideout place -somewhere along the beach je but a little secluded area, just relaxing and thinking- and my dad got really worried he thought i was really missing and marah me like crazy when i got back to our villa :/
back in my home, i always have our little pond area that sometimes i duduk tepi kolam celup kaki just thinking and thinking. if i want an escape yang jauh sikit, i always go to this one condo and lepak at the rooftop overlooking shah alam nice view :) dulu, there's this one bukit i used to go jugak, but now no more sebab ade construction rumah and all (ntah2 dah siap pun rumah dekat situ)
most of the time when i do this, my aim is to gain peace. at this hideout place, i can cry, i can marah, sometimes i write or listen to music and most of the time just blankly stare at the view with heavy monologues inside my head!
if i can make a movie of out this, it's gonna be an awesome one okayy *imagine myself sitting by the beach, tgh termenung, and then ade suara (kononnye suara dalam hati) -i'm not getting married with this guy- -you are getting married with him because this is ur parents' wish- -but i don't love him- -so you don't love your parents?- -but this is about my future- -but your parents are everything-* hahahahahahahha OKAYYYY DRAMA MELAYU TAPI CAKAP ENGLISH.
siapa yang tak pernah buat mcm ni, mesti korang tak pernah tengok movie feeling2 kan or simply takde feeling tengok cerita2 camni :P as far as i know, very few people have similar habit as i am yang will prefer to spend time with myself whenever i feel like it.
i enjoy going shopping alone too, and if i have to i will have my meal alone at the shopping mall, yes it happened many times and i find it normal but people will go, whyyyy ira why you pegi makan sorang2! hahahaha dah i pegi shopping sorang, takkan tetibe i nak call people up just to teman i makan. my own personal record was shopping from morning till night with high heels, having both lunch and dinner alone with snacks in between at mid valley some time back, and i went back home feeling REFRESHED :)
now, i'm going to prioritize my life. i want to concentrate on my studies as my finals is only in 4 months time :D so, yeah. i'll be over this soon! wish me luck!
uh oh before that, i would like to quote my sister as i find this very deep and meaningful. may help some of you too :)
"as long my hubs ,my father and my sibs kenal siapa i and terima i seadanya,i dont need to justify myself to anyone...bukan org2 nie pernah tanya kabar or ambil kisah pun ... :)))"