Sekufu

Apa barang cerita pasal sekufu ni? Aku biar betol kot.

Sekufu means 'sama'. And wali bagi sesebuah perkahwinan tak boleh suka-suki kahwinkan anak perempuan dia dengan laki yang tak sekufu melainkan dgn persetujuan perempuan yang tersebut. And perkahwinan boleh dibubarkan if wali tersebut rasa pasangan tersebut tidak sekufu. So did I sound like ustazah? Rilek dulu.

Before this aku selalu rasa, apa lah penting sangat sekufu ni. Janji sayang, janji cinta, jalan je lah. Nak sekufu sangat apehal. Apa ada hal kalau educational background tak sama? Apa ada hal kalau sorang pangkat tinggi, sorang lagi pangkat rendah? Apa ada hal kalau sorang kaya, sorang miskin? Ada hal ke weh? Cinta tu kan buta. Kalau dah buta, sekufu is not a question anymore.

Okay that's how modern people menilai tahap ke'sekufu'an. Padahal banyak je benda lain kena consider. Sekufu here includes pengetahuan ilmu agama, 2-2 pandai mengaji ke tak, 2-2 solat cukup ke tak, bangsa yang sama, agama yang sama so on and so forth.

Before this, I believe I can handle ketidaksekufuan. To me, janji you don't belittle your partner and ungkit about it every now and then, everything will be fine. Tapi cakap atau berangan memang senang. You need to be in the real situation to feel it for yourself.

Ada ke lelaki boleh terima girlfriend dia 10 juta kali lagi pandai dari dia? Or worse, ada ke lelaki boleh terima girlfriend (or wife) dia dapat gaji 5 kali ganda lagi banyak dari dia? Boleh, tapi tipu lah kalau kata laki tu tak inferior kan. Unless laki itu memang kerja dia nak kikis duit perempuan tu.

I have a friend, a girl, genius nak mati gila2 genius tahap extreme. Cantik, baik pun baik. But she felt miserable inside coz according to her, no guys dare to date her because of that. So dari situ dah nampak kepentingan sekufu in a relationship. Takde lah kata she has to marry another Albert Einstein, but obviously she has to find someone yang pandai, at least someone who won't appear dumb in front of her.

And then there's a friend of my dad, his office boy. This office boy gila lucky to marry an anaesthetist who make thousands in a day (okay exaggerate kot) but you get the difference kan. They were happy for some time and one day this guy consulted my dad (yes my dad ni terlebih ramah all his anak2 buah dah buat dia macam their own dad dah), he said he couldn't blend in with his wife's colleagues and that he feels terribly awkward when they're having dinner together coz he's not fluent in english and blablabla. Another proof that sekufu is important in a marriage.

As for me, yes I now realize that cinta tidak sepatutnya buta. Love is not just about love. It's obviously more that just love. Let's not talk about puppy love. Zaman sekolah, budak perempuan kelas first everytime exam dapat no 1 pun boleh couple dengan mat rempit kelas last yang dah sah2 belajar lingkup. Takpe lah, kasi can merasa kan. Everyone has to experience bitter things in life to learn. Kan?

But it's unfair to measure ke'sekufu'an solely on educational background and power. It's true. Aku dibesarkan with this radical belief that hanya orang yang pandai kuat belajar baca buku 10 jam sehari je yang akan berjaya. The rest yang duduk kelas last malas belajar dapat no corot memang confirm jadi sampah masyarakat. That's not what my parents taught me, but it was just something I believed in. And I was really wrong. Really really wrong.

Some people, they don't need a certificate to be a successful person. Especially for those who are granted with talent - tailor, musician, writer etc etc. So walaupun educational background diorang takat SPM je, they still have something you don't have. So I don't think you can declare yourselves tidak sekufu because he's an SPM holder and you're a Degree holder.

I don't wanna go against the current. Men will lead the women and nothing can change that. When I have my own family one day, I don't wanna be the one to lead the family because that's what my husband will be doing and what me and my kids (LOL) will be following. And believe me when I say, I'd prefer, and I'd love it if the husband is superior than me, tak kesah lah in education ke gaji ke pangkat ke ilmu agama ke MEMASAK keee hahahaha. Because I don't compete with someone I love so be it. Plus, honestly, I think a guy who's smarter, has better income, terer agama, pandai socialize (not party animal pls), outspoken and yg sewaktu dengannya adalah sangat HOT.

Kalau nak orang kata kau dengan pasangan kau tu bagai pinang dibelah dua atau duduk sama rendah berdiri sama tinggi, silalah cari yang sekufu eh. Btw, if you think you are way behind your partner, you can always catch up, if betul sayang lah. Sekufu tu bukan benda yang fixed pun, it just need some effort je, especially for guys. Perempuan takde masalah sangat kot kalau kerja housekeeping lepas tu ada CEO nak masuk meminang. Itu namanyaaaa durian runtuh! Eh eh hebat pulak aku berperibahasa.

Okay sila check sekarang, adakah anda dan pasangan anda sekufu? Kalau ye, boleh pergi kursus kahwin sekarang. Bye!