losing

losing people that i love the most is one of my biggest fear. please, i can't afford to lose anyone that i love. not my dad, not my mom, not my siblings, not my besties, not my boyfriend, not even friends. they mean a lot to me.

recently, a good friend of mine lost her beloved mother. she's my housemate to be specific. though her mother has got nothing to do with me, i do feel the pain of losing someone very significant in life. but it can never be comparable to the pain that she's feeling. but i very much believe that she's strong enough to face this. insyaAllah.

losing a person, whether the person dies or the person just walk away from our life, is indeed painful. but without us realizing it, losing someone we love the most teaches us a lot of things. it teaches us to be strong, to accept things, and to be independent. sometimes, losing someone is the only way we can learn. gotta believe it.

i can write based on my experience. i used to have a good friend. everything went well at the beginning of our friendship. not until i know his true colors. he was VERY hot-tempered, a control freak, he swears all he wants and he promised a lot, and i kept hoping hopelessly for him to fulfill his promises. because i love the friendship, and because he was someone very significant in my life, i patiently waited and hoped for him to change. but nothing changes. not even my tears can change him. not even my words. nothing can change him. he was cold hearted. and still he refused to let go the friendship. and so i waited, i stupidly told myself to have faith in him. but my patience was useless, and finally, my faith towards him was tarnished. this time, i gotta prioritize myself above anything else. we were through.

yes, it wasn't a good ending. it wasn't what we both wanted. but i had to do it. i believe, that's the only way he can learn. and me too, i've learnt a lot too. i'm now glad that he realized his mistakes. not to say that i've committed no mistakes, i did too. it was a lesson for us both. to list down the things that i've learnt, it'll require me pages. i mean it. but, it's all in the past. i can't turn back time. even if i could, i would never want to go back and fix things up. let it remains how it is now. i am now fine. though it was tough at the beginning, i managed to get through it. i managed to get over it. that's what "losing" taught me. i am now stronger than i was before. thanks to you.

"why do we never know what we've got till it's gone?"

think about it.