Tuesday, January 12, 2010

What makes a good listener?

Listening to someone can be tricky. Everybody can listen to you, but not everyone is a good listener. Don't you know there's a list of rules for everything? A good listener is someone who follows the rules. Simple.
  1. Respect her opinion and feelings. No matter how wrong she is to you, she has the right to think she's right. So, give her time to let it all out before saying anything that can stop her from doing so. (Hint : Not a good time to say she's totally wrong just yet)
  2. Now that she's done letting everything out, you can say what you feel. Whether what she did was wrong or that she needs to open up a little more. But be careful with your words, or she'll regret saying anything to you forever.
  3. When she says she's mad or disappointed or whatever with her loved ones, it strictly means 'just mad' or 'just disappointed'. Hate is not the question here. So why bother saying bad things about those people she loves?
    Example ; Diya says "I geram gile dekat my dad sebab die tak sporting langsung I nak pegi dating pon tak boleh." And the friend says "Yea lah, ur dad is so annoying okay I'm glad he's not my dad if not I tak boleh nak dating with my bf hari2" Like WTF? And it applies to all the people she loves, no matter what sort of relationship they have.
  4. Not everyone is lucky to have a solution to the problem she's facing. So don't waste your time cracking your brain for a perfect solution because having you to listen to her already makes her a lucky girl. But anyway, it's good if you can provide her with good advice.
  5. Show your interest and concern. She'll feel loved.
  6. If she complaints about the same thing you're facing, wait till she finishes before complaining back to her.
    Example : Gf says "I'm so fed-up my classes are packed, lecturer I assigned kitorang buat thesis due esok pagi atas meja dia before 6am, I blk rumah kucing I berak merata kat bilik I, and now I'm broke nak beli air sirap setengah gelas pun I tak mampu, aaaa stresss!!Lepas tu..." and the bf cut in the conversation, "U tatau I lagi teruk, tiap pagi kne bangun kol 5 drive to work kalau lmbt jammed nnti I smpai lmbt boss I mengamuk blablabla" OMG pls? At least comfort your girlfriend first kot??
  7. The most important thing, even if you disagree with her, be gentle with your words.
Make someone's day by listening to her. It's not that hard anyway kan? In case I left out anything, do add some more.


nadd said...

omg so true. lg2 num 6.


IRA said...

i know u've been there darling! tkpe now takde dah! heheh