a daughter will always, always be a daughter.

when i was little, i always wanna grow up a little bit faster, so that i'll get all the freedom in the world, a freedom that a kid won't have. for a few couple of times, i thought that running away from home is the only solution for me to get my freedom, free from the constant nagger of my life, my mom and free from my dad, who worries too much about me. but then i came to think, where do i get money if i runaway from home??jual bontot??(as suggested by farah n nad *haha*) that question kills my attempt to head for the hills. here's a video about some girls who were looking for freedom. a proof that every kid in this world is looking for freedom.



in this video : nad, aenn, muz, farah, julie n me. the most hideous voice award goes to nad *kite dah bole drive kite dh bole drive!!*

now that i've reached the age that i thought i was supposed to be free, some things remain unchanged. being 21, i always thought i will get to use the car anytime that i wish to. but nope, i can only use the car if and only if no one's using it. and even if there's no one to use the car, my parents, especially my mom will bombard me with 1001 questions about why do i need to use the car, why cant i use public transport, where do i go, etc etc. ergh, sick. enough with the questions?no that's not all. and if i am permitted to use the car, there are some more, she won't let me drive on the highway alone at nite. there goes her reasons ; someone might crash my car purposely, i might get robbed, kidnapped, raped etc etc. recently, i wanted to use the car to go to seremban and planned to make my way to shah alam right after berbuka so that i can berbuka at my boyfriend's house, but no, "u can use the car n be back before berbuka or u can just go by train" what laaaaaaa! go by train?*malas* with some kuih raya that i have to bring back with me, travelling by train will make me look like makcik jual kuih raya. i dun wanna drag things any worse, so fine, fine, fine, (though it's not fine at all) i'll be back before berbuka. *ggrrrr!!!!*

sometimes i really, really need to use the car, and my mom will insist me to have some friends to accompany me especially if i'm driving at nite, for some great distance. where do i find ppl to ride with me just to accompany me? forgive me but i consider this as white lie. :) hahaha will tell her after some time. but i did tell my dad that the real fact was there were no one accompanying me, but my dad is super cool, he's fine with it.

it's a must for me to hang out with my friends, and go for a date with my boyfriend. but of course, i do lepak at the house and help my mom with the house chores. it's not like i go out everyday, but everytime that i go out, they will make me feel as though i dun spend my time at home at all. :( everytime i tell my mom/dad about me going out with friends, they'll say "keluar je la keje intan" (p/s : intan is my nickname at home) and the real fact is, i've been staying at home like anak dara bertauliah for like 2-3 days maybe? and still they say that to me. haih. so being 21 doesn't necessarily means that u'll get all the freedom in the world. i still feel like a little kid because my parents still think that i'm their LITTLE one. it's kinda funny. looking back, as a kid, i can't wait to be an adult. now that i'm truly an adult, my parents still make me feel like a kid.

i know they care too much about me. and that's why they're treating me like their little one. it's okay. i understand. but, it's pretty depressing at times. but well, i very much realize that they dun have fun doing this to me, but they just want the best for me. and of course, i do get the freedom that i've been looking for since i was a kid, though it is limited to some extent. hahaha. that makes up the biggest difference between a daughter and a son. a son may go out of control after reaching some age, but a daughter can never really go out of her parents' control. though she doesn't allow me to drive alone at night, and though his words about me not spending enough time at home irritates me a lot, i still love em both. but mummy, please let me use the car more often!!!p/s : my mum is org paling kedekut kereta dlm dunia ni, pdhal kete abah.danggggggggggg * ggrrrrrr!!!!*