i'm so not in the mood today. i'm sick. flu + radiating pain from the left part of my chest. i have no idea what causes the pain i'm feeling right now. i dun wanna know. but it hurts so muchhh :(
the pain i'm feeling is not a new thing for me. i've been experiencing that particular pain since forever. but lately, it comes up more frequently. whenever i feel the pain, i can't move my body at all for a moment, or the pain will get worse. i was thinking of keeping this matter to myself, i dun wanna tell my parents because i dun want em to worry. but, i cant take it anymore. i told em just now. *damn*. they promised to take me to a doctor soon. ergh, this is what i hate the most. i hate to see a doctor, especially about things that is uncertain. i dun mind seeing a doctor for fever, or conjunctivitis etc etc because these things are normal. but this one? please dun tell me any bad news!
i still remember when i was in form 1, i cried my heart out when i was informed that i have to undergo a surgery due to appendicitis. yes, the doctor gave me that bad news. hate it. it was sucks. getting admitted to a hospital is no fun at all.
again in 2007, i had to go another surgery for having non-cancerous lumps. the good news was the lumps are non-cancerous, but the bad news was i have to undergo surgery and there's no other options! again, the doctor was the one who gave me that bad news. yeah, i cried my heart out once again *hahaha sounds stupid but i really did* though the surgery sounds simple, believe me it was indeed painful. all my movements were limited. now u know why i really hate to see the doctors. they always give me bad news.
i pray so much that this pain will go away so i dun have to see the doctor. pls pls pls go away. i dun wanna hear another bad news. i dun wanna undergo anything at all. i'm on holiday and i dun wanna waste my time for this. but there's no sign that the pain will go away :( i'm so f***ing down right now. i can't bear the pain anymore. i dun have no one to share this with. he's not well too. i hope he'll be okay soon.
mr. pain, please go away. i dun want u. pls. i dun wanna see the doctor so please, leave me alone.