Mokusatsu

Mokusatsu adalah sepatah bahasa Jepun yg bermaksud "to ignore" or "killing with silence". I came across this particular word in my TOK(Theory of Knowledge) class about 4-5 years back. Kau jangan tak tau TOK tu subjek kegemaran aku sebab aku suka cakap2 and bagi idea2 (who cares if ur ideas are craps) dan theory ciptaan sendiri and the best part of TOK is no matter how crappy your ideas are, they are all acceptable and worth discussing! Heeee.

Allow me to define Mokusatsu according to my understanding. The closest malay word that explains mokusatsu is "merajuk lama2 sampai kau rasa bersalah". Okay that's not a word, that's one whole line. Because merajuk alone doesn't give the same meaning as Mokusatsu.

For some people, it's better to remain silent than arguing, especially with someone yang suka ikut kepala dia lepas tu tanak dengar pendapat orang. Maka orang yg lagi satu maybe akan ckp sepatah dua ayat makan dalam and senyap smpai the other person rasa guilty and say sorry for not hearing what u have to say. Just an example. Tak semestinya argument, sometimes kalau kau kena bantai dengan bapak kau lepas tu kau merajuk senyap diam tak kuar bilik tunggu tengah malam baru pegi dapur senyap2, I consider that one as mokusatsu. Biar bapak aku rasa bersalah sebab anak dia kelaparan tak makan nnt sakit2 masuk hospital sume sebab dia bantai aku siang tadi. Hahaha.

Aku rasa i can never practise mokusatsu. Silent treatment wak lu la. Silent torture ade la. I can never stand silence and I can never stand a situation when myself is not heard. I know, the aim of mokusatsu is so that the other person feels guilty and comes back to you to let you speak up for urself, but call me impatient, I really can't wait for that to happen. I wanna be heard right away.

Apart from myself being irritatingly impatient, people will never get it that I am sulking. And that makes me wait even more longer for them to come back at me and say sorry blablabla so might as well fight for it argue bertumbuk tarik rambut segala at least both parties hear each other, done with it, and we're friends again. Rather than kau merajuk 10 hari, nak pujuk 20 hari, bincang2 lagi 10 hari, bila nak settle bang oi? Mokusatsu is so not for me. But it does work perfectly with some other people.

Except for my parents. Of course la, takkan aku nak mengamuk kat parents aku. Kalau nak kena sepak terajang zionis mak aku try la. haha. Mak aku adalah pelakon handalan terbaik kategori veteran sebab all my friends akan cakap aku penipu gila when I say mak aku adalah mak tergarang dalam alam semesta because my mum is super lembut wa cakap sama lu bila dia layan kawan2 aku. Hah, lepas tu aku la kan yang kena tuduh penipu.

Disebabkan perangai aku sedikit setan di masa muda remaja, aku agak dah rasa la keganasan zionis mak aku. Aku malas nak cerita byk pasal keganasan mak aku sebab nanti korang tanak kawan dengan mak aku pulak kan. Tapi paling aku takleh blah sampai sekarang was when aku selambe dek keluar jugak when she already said no(and that was zaman upper form). Ape ada hal time tu kan. Sebab time tu agak tak boleh salahkan aku la, I told her a week earlier aku nak kuar that day, memula green light, but tetibe on that day itself mak aku kata kau jangan keluar dan itu adalah muktamad and jangan harap nak dapat talian hayat eventhough kau menangis bagai nak rak.

Ahhh, nak kuar jugak! Tapi cakap dalam hati la kan, lepas tu terus bantai keluar jugak. Balik je rumah (time tu maghrib), aku tak sempat pun jejak kaki dalam gate, tetiba ada bijik jagung melayang dari pintu rumah, tapi aku elak sepantas kilat ah. Mak aku rupenye, damnnn! Sharp shooter baling bijik jagung wehhh, tau ah baru lepas makan jagung rebus. Lepas tu dia bantai mengamuk dari pintu rumah I was sure jiran tetangga dengar wahahahha I kept silent je ahh nak buat camane lagi, takkan nak main baling2 bijik jagung lak kan. Lepas puas dia mengamuk dia cakap kau duduk luar jgn masuk rumah and slammed the door. Ha kau, sadis tak sadis la kan. Nak masuk ikut tingkap mmg tak muat ah, so aku layan je la duduk luar rumah sampai malam. Nasib baik bapakku selamba rock, he was the one yg let me in tapi gelakkan aku sebab kena marah. Wahaha. Cis.

Lepas tu ingat nak mokusatsu. Memang mokusatsu pun. I locked myself in my room, tak turun makan at all (ok tipu, I did, when everyone fell asleep, tak pun mintak tlg adik amekkan nasik letak ayam 2 ketul kuah banyak sikit letak kicap jugak bawak naik atas) it went on for a few days. Tapi sadly mak aku tak rasa tindakan aku utk merajuk tu adalah comel atau menyayat hati, so dia buat selambe dek dia. Aku dah agak, so finally I gave up. Tau2 dah baik sendiri.

Same goes to my dad. Walaupun tak zionis, but jiwa selamba rock dia membuatkan dia mcm "ohhh abah tatau lak kau merajuk" so dia pun akan buat selamba dek kalau aku bermokusatsu. Dahla my parents are the only people I can't mengamuk with, thus making them as the only people I can practise mokusatsu with, tapi my mokusatsu will remain mokusatsu for years without them pujuk-ing me back 'alalalala anak mama merajuk ke meh sini meh mama pujuk'. Memang tak ahhh wehh. Even if my mom suddenly does that, maybe aku akan kena shock syndrome sebab macam 'is that even you,mom?'

Mokusatsu dengan boyfriend or friends? Memang tak ah, lagi2 friends. Boyfriend okay lagi kot, kadang2 merajuk la, tapi lepas mengamuk, wahahahaha. Tapi dengan friends, merajuk kee? So not me kot. Kalau aku terasa, it's either "cis kau takpe next time aku kenakan kau pulak" atau sound direct sudeyh. Takde keja aku nak lock myself up in my room sebab merajuk dengan kawan. LOL. Agak muntah hijau di situ. I prefer to discuss the argument though it sucks sometimes but it's better off that way dari kau merajuk and the situation keeps hanging. Annoying kot!

But amazingly, guys do prefer mokusatsu. Cam, 'lu pikir la sendiri gua malas nak cakap' tapi bila benda yg aku pikir tu tak sama dengan apa yg kau pikir kau marah pulak tapi lepas tu mokusatsu tanak ckp pape pulak. Igt otak aku adalah photostat kepada otak kau ke boleh pulak nak fikir macam kau. Speak up man.

Mokusatsu can benefit you, but most of the time for me, it worsen the situation. Itu apa yang aku fikir, suka hati aku la kan. Kalau kau rasa mokusatsu tu the best superb fantastic bombastic, go ahead, aku tak kata kau salah, ok anonymous? Haha. Off.



Sumpah time kecik2 I used to be jealous of this blardy kid! Amboi manja gila kau dengan mak kauuu, yang maknye pun satuuu, nak manje2kan anak lepas tu masuk dlm TV, igt aku tak jealous? itu pemikiran aku masa kecik. And pernah cakap macam ni kat my mom ;

Me : Mak, nape mak budak tu dlm TV baik gilaaa...nape mak tak mcm tu pun?? (muka innocent mintak belas kasihan dan perhatian seorang ibu)

Mom : (sambil layan baby baru - adik aku la tu) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (hoi ini gelak tahap melampau okayyy!) itu berlakon je laaa HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (sempat sambung gelak)

Me : (rasa diperbodohkan sejurus kemudian terus sedih)

esoknya my mom braged about my question to my dad and sambung gelak. Cissss!!!

p/s : tp aku rasa iklan fernleaf lagi satu la, yg ada dian p.ramlee tu. ke aku ngigau?

p/s : zionis pun zionis la, that makes me a person today. (walaupun mokusatsu aku selalu gagal sigh)