day 1 : shopping in bangalore

life is great when the loved ones are here with me :D

day 1 : teman my family (particularly my mom) shopping for sarees and salwar kameez (punjabi suit) usually, my mom hanye bertahan 1 hour maximum utk shopping. she gets fatigue easily hahahah. but today, she managed to shop for the whole 4 hours, non-stop, really. she got really2 excited and amazed with the sarees. according to her, the sarees are all cheap(compared to those in malaysia) and extremely beautiful. and my mom berjaya membelanjakan quite a large sum of money just for sarees. bravo mummy! (no wonder i'm a shopaholic, kemana tumpahnye lauk kalau bukan ke nasi? :D)

together with us was of course, my adorable darling. i wanna say thanks to u my dearie dear, sbb teman me and my family jalan2. he helped a lot too. thanks sgt2. i know it was tiring, i hope u get a good rest tonite. i really2 appreciate it. my dad pon tak habis2 ckp u baik sgt (banggela tu ;p) and i'm glad that u got along so well with my family. i love u damn muchhhhh!

i guess the happiest person on earth today is my mom. after we got back to my apartment, sumerang terus pengsan sbb penat sgt. tak smpat tuka baju pon sume dh tido. but my mom is still awake(up until now), still admiring the sarees she just bought :D happy for her heheheheh and she bought quite a number of bangles too. she adores 'em a lot.

the plan for tomorrow is to go to MG road, but hopefully we'll be back home earlier because i haven't done packing my stuff for delhi trip yet. and sadly, my baby's leaving tomorrow nite :( :( :( hate to say goodbye. having u and my family around is like a perfect combo! loving it!

here are some recent pictures of me, my baby and my family.

while waiting for my family at the airport
bangalore airport!!

my mom is a shopaholic too, sbb tu abah botak ahaha

sisters at commercial street

sisters, brother and boyfriend.

geng baru :D they talked a lot about football. err?

gempak gile the camera makes me look fat, though i'm not.
love daddy!

happiest person on earth today, my mom
love mummy!!

the long awaited day

my family's here :) and my boyfriend too.
busy. every minute is crucial :D

teruja

wahhhh! saye sgt2 la excited! hari ni christmas, cuti la ape lagi. esok ade clinical theory kat hospital, tapi saye rase saye nk ponteng, sekian terima kasih. perlu ke bagi sbb kenape saye perlu ponteng? ok la, saye akan cube sedaya upaya untuk memberi sebab2 yg bernas.

saye nak ponteng esok sebab saye nk kemas rumah untuk menyambut kedatangan family saye esok malam! yahoooooooooooooooooooooooo! ok sumpah sgt2 excited. sbb saye pesan kat diorang bawak mcm2 utk saye! yg paling saye nanti2kan, cube teke ape! haaa, saye kirim chocolate crunchie! tau tak yg mane? yg panjang kaler kuning mcm kunang2 tu. tu chocolate favourite saye since darjah 4 ok. 10 tahun dulu tauuu! dulu time kecik2, lepas daripade mengaji (atau mungkin sebelum mengaji kalau saye tak tahan sgt), mesti saye pegi kedai SS Eleven (bukan 7-eleven ok) and mesti saye borong chocolate crunchie barang sebatang dua. and kali niii, saye pesan crunchie bykkk sgt kat family saye! wahhhh teruja nyaaa!

sebab kedua saye nak ponteng ialah, saye nk packing barang2 saye nk pegi delhi and taj mahal nanti! maka, operasi mencuba2 baju sambil posing dpn cermin mesti dijalankan terlebih dahulu utk mengelakkan saye membawa baju2 yg tak sesuai. tapi masalahnye, bilik saye takde cermin panjang. maka ape yg saye akan buat sementara roommate saye pegi ke class ialah, saye akan try baju, pstu set camera punye timer, posing ala2 agyness deyn and snap! dari situ la saye akan evaluate baju mane saye nk bawak. ok, saye akan pastikan saye kunci pintu bile membuat aksi ala2 agyness deyn sbb kalau sesape tetibe masuk bilik saye and nmpak saye beraksi ala2 agyness deyn pasti akan annoyed. hahahahahhah.

ok final reason saye patut dan digalakkan ponteng esok ialah saye mahu spend time dengan little dinosour saye! oh to those yg still tak tau sape little dinosour tu, dia lah bf saye! ye die datang bangalore lagi! and weekend ni, bf saye akan join me and my family pegi jalan2 di sekitar bangalore! wah, bahagianye! kalau little dinosour saye tkde exam lagi 2 weeks ni, saye dh bawak die ikut me and my family pegi delhi. sebnanye, bukan saye yg nak bawak, tapi parents saye yg ajak die ikut kitorang pegi delhi. cool kan parents saye? saye pon tak sangke diorang sesporting tu. wah, sedap la bf saye, family saye cam dh suke jer kat die. adik2 saye pon dh pandai menggedik2 dgn bf saye. hari tu pon dia dh pnah berbuka with my family, so i think dia pon dh rase biase2 and tak segan sgt dh dgn family saye. erk, saye? saye pnah la jmpe his family jugak, tapi tak pnah plak lepak same2 kot. thank god his family pon agak friendly la orangnye. his mom and his 2 little sisters are so friendly. and 2 adik laki die plak malu2 kucing dgn saye, tp 2-2 adorable amat. ayah die plak, saye tak byk berckp, segan lor, heheheh. wpon saye nmpak mcm tak tau malu, tp sebnanye saye sgt penyegan orangnye. hey, dun judge a book by its cover tau. hahahahah. and kalau saye bebetul segan, saye lah orang paling senyap dlm dunia.

so, bernas tak reasons saye untuk ponteng clinical theory classes esok? saye rase mcm bernas. kalau awak rase cam tak bernas, saye rase saye ponteng jugak kot. erm mmg pon, saye dah kembali bergiat cergas dalam aktiviti ponteng memonteng. byk jugak class yg saye dah ponteng. tapi ala, kali ni je! hahahahaha (lame excuse)

esok hari bahagia saye ok. i will have my whole family with me, together with my boyfriend. kepade kawan2 saye yg blajar kat bangalore ni, happy holiday! ade yg pegi egypt, ade yg pegi kerala, ade yg pegi taj mahal and delhi mcm saye, ade jugak yg pegi shimla and manali (north part of india) and tak kurang juge ade loser2 yg balik malaysia wakakakakakakaka. jgn marah ek, sebnanye saye jeles gak ngan those yg balik malaysia sbb saye rindu malaysia, org2 kat malaysia and mknan2 kat msia. tapi takpe, saye ni kental orangnye. september tahun depan saye balik la malaysia (well, kalau saye dpt bertahan arrr ;p )

ok lah, it's almost 1 am. saye nak tido, hari ni penat plak sbb tadi siang saye mop bilik F15 untuk abah and adik laki saye stay time kat bangalore ni. till then, tata!

regionalism

"typical shah alam girl"

people usually perceive me as one. i get it every now and then. what does it means by 'typical shah alam girl'? God knows. it's amazing how we can actually classify people according to the region we're living in. and funny too. do u think it's valid?

without realizing it, i too, classify people according to region. hahahah. and we usually relate this group of people to a particular attitude or characteristic. i've tons of examples but i don't think it's appropriate to make the whole list of it because some may be offensive. so, let's not make this entry a controversial one. :D i'll give u a simple example, orang melaka usually panas baran and garang, ever heard of this? through my experience, i can say that this belief is kinda true! i know quite a number of melaka people who are panas baran and garang. whoah, how is that possible?

so now, can we go and classify people according to their hometown? is it relevant? ur say?

can u keep a secret?

i did it again *sigh*
something i shouldn't.
i'm sorry.
:(

p/s : gambar di atas bukan gambar hiasan semata2.
just an illusion.

simply because . . .

once upon a time in KMS...

p/s : dunno why i luv dis picture. i just think my boyfriend (central)
looks irresistably comel in this picture. hahaha.
that's what I think, and i don't expect u
to think the same, of course ;p

p/s II : the other guys are my friends. 2 of 'em are
still single. interested? call me. hahahaha. ;p

i miss my faraway boyfriend :(
i miss mohd azar syazwan

nite2~

of poverty and mental retardation

this morning during my OPD session, i came across a 23 year-old guy who is mentally retarded. his mother and brother tagged along. i'm not quite sure what brings him to the hospital as the discussion between the doctor and the patient's mother was in Kannada language (a local language in Bangalore, and believe me it's even harder than Hindi) and unfortunately, Dr. Manjeera didn't bother to let us know the details of the patient's history of presenting illness (and it was so unlike her, she is usually so eager to explain everything to us, perhaps she was a little tired)

i'm assuming his illness is a really serious one because moments later, Dr. Jacob Matthew came in to discuss about this patient and they both agreed that this patient need to be admitted urgently. now the thing is, his mother refused to admit him. i asked one of the sisters (nurses) about why his mother refused to admit her son. she said, it's all bout the money. yeah, totally. i thought so. and i can tell it from the start. they're really poor people. imagine this, that mentally retarded guy was wearing a slack pants, which was probably descended from his father or brother (i can tell this by looking closely when he was required to loosen up his pants on lying down for physical examination purpose) and he didn't wear a belt, instead, he made use of some small rope as a belt. and his mother was wearing oversized slippers, which was probably borrowed from someone else.

it was clear. they're the victims of poverty. i'm sure his mother will definitely try her best to make ends meet just for her beloved son. but the real thing is, at this very moment, they can't afford it. my heart breaks so much to see how unfortunate some people are. they struggle to live a life and what about us? we spend money unnecessarily while others are still suffering. i'm not born with a silver spoon in my mouth and i'm nothing close to genius, but lucky enough, i'm not the total opposite of both. however, it's a shame that i do complaint about a lot of things. what was i thinking? other people dun even have a cent, and some are even mentally retarded, or perhaps physically deformed, and i don't think i am in the position to complain anything when there are plenty others who are less and less fortunate than me.

yeah, i got so touched today. i looked at the mother. she was full of hopes that her son is gonna be okay. and she was telling the doctor that her son can be admitted 2-3 days later, when she can afford the money. and her son was so innocent. he smiled innocently, he followed all the instructions given but the fact that he is mentally retarded is just so sad.

honestly, i respect these kinda people (referring to mentally retarded people) and i can't see them get bullied or insulted by normal people. please, they have the right to be respected just like everyone else in this world. it's not his fault that he is retarded. they've gone through enough hard times and we shouldn't make it harder for them by insulting or bullying them.

back in my high school in shah alam, there used to be special classes for special students like this. students with Down's syndrome etc etc. call me emotional, but i do feel sad when i saw them get bullied by other students. they dun deserve to be treated that way. and i wonder why normal people sometimes do act like morons. what's with endless bullying and insulting? gotta write this in my own mother tongue, tau tak, org2 gila or mentally retarded ni insyaAllah tempat diorang dh ditetapkan kat syurga, but not for us yg cukup berakal ni, so why perlu tambah dosa dgn buli orang2 camni? i know, i sound so emotional. perhaps i really am. my brother was in that special class. he was not mentally retarded, but he had some hearing problems and that somehow affect his studies, social life etc etc. yeah he couldn't cope studying in normal class so that's why. and of course, he's not exempted to be the victim of some morons. and when i caught anyone making fun of him, i will definitely show up. i love him unconditionally.

i still remember, it was teacher's day. and these special students made a performance. they sang a song - i'tiraf (raihan) nope, my brother was not one of the performers. he was still in primary school at that time. i couldn't help myself but to cry. and these special kids received standing ovation from the audience as soon as they finished performing. the performance was just soooo touching and i just couldn't control myself. maybe it was the song. and of course, the performers as well. please note i wasn't the only one who got so emotional, there were plenty others.

2 sensitive topics for today, poverty and mental retardation. i hope the mother can afford to admit her son to the hospital as soon as possible. i really hope so. i wish there's no more poverty for anyone at all. i hope we now know how to respect unfortunate people. i hope these less fortunate people are blessed with good life and happiness. so much hopes. i hope all of them are fulfilled.

when we were young :)

i simply miss the old days. i miss my friends back home! i missed muz's 21st birthday celebration a few days back! damn i missed a lot of things okkaayy! i wish i have 'em with me in bangalore! yesss, i can imagine us living together under one roof, sumpah tunggang terbalik!

gawwwwdddd, i just realized one thing. i am less like myself when i'm in bangalore. i am far more independent now. i do a lot of things on my own. i no longer feel awkward if i have to be alone during lunch time and whatnots. it's not that i'm so snobbish that i dun wanna mingle with other people, but really, i dun really have friends who share the same wavelength as mine now in bangalore. not that i'm choosy in friendship, but errmm tah susah nk describe. when the other person doesn't share that chemistry with u, u dun feel the sparks, u dun feel like sharing things, u have to mind ur words, and u can't express everything that u think u need to. get what i mean? but luckily i have some friends that i can consider satu kepala, but very few laaa.

that explains why i behave the way i am now. and that for that reason, i end up missing these people - the high school sweethearts! i'm not gonna write much about u people, because u know the fact that i bloody miss each and everyone of u and yesss, rindu semuanyaaaa! now let the pictures bring back the memories that we share together :D please note that these pictures were taken years ago and forgive us for our selebetness.

damn, how ugly duckling we were! hahaha
fatin's 16th buftday.

night out.
before i left for bangalore.
thanks guys :)

zaman muda-mudi
the usual hanging out place when
we were young and innocent :)
and yes, ain looked innocent.

ni tkleh blah, rambut kene tiup angin cuz we
purposely took the pic dpn kipas.
yes that explains the gedikness.

at chilli's
some time after SPM.
with julie mashita

she was my bedtime story teller
yeah, we talked craps and fell asleep.

and this incident, remember? :D
farah, u're the joker of the day.

nad's lovely artpiece :)
loving it ohhh!

reban = warden, nyonyek = counselor.
nyonyek is derived from babi toNYOK peNYEK.
yeah yeah, that was mean, we know. i know. haha.

at INTEC, farah's place.
the place where i used to go on weekends :)
sneaked in thru satu lubang ni time tgh hujan lebat
tgh2 mlm bute, remember?

ain's crib.
used to be another refuge
of mine on weekends :)

some time after SPM, with muzzy

the night of endless munching and eating

sunday morning, in front of my dorm.
yes, when we were sweet 17.

the sleepover.

i miss u people! cpt laaa i wanna go home!

tipah tertipu

aku ade seorang rakan. ku sangkekan kami sejenis. cube tgk gmbar bawah ni,
kami nampak sejenis bukan?

tapi rupe-rupenye, dia ade ape yg aku tkde...

oh, aku tertipu.

talk of the day

yesterday aku ponteng. bukan ponteng sbb suke2 and saje2 mcm slalu. tp yesterday mmg tak sehat. bukan tak sehat sbb tak cukup makan ke ape. tapi tak sehat sbb terlebih makan. haaa, terlebih makan daging lembu korban.

kat india ni mmg la payah nk dpt makan daging. yela, indians are mostly vegetarian, and kalau nk makan daging kene plak pegi pasar kat yeshwantpur tp pasar tu yucky skettt, kotorrr! so malas. kitorang slalu makan ayam, ikan, udang and sotong jer. daging mmg jarang2 sgt. so bile dpt daging lembu korban tu, mmg berkobar2 nk mkn daging! the night before aku tak sehat ni, kat umah ni ade 4 jenis lauk daging. haaa, ade daging black pepper, daging salai masak lemak, daging paprik and daging goreng. gile ape kann? daging paprik and daging goreng tu sebnanye lauk hari sebelumnye, just panaskan je. sooo, aku ni mmg tak reti budget, makan tak reti2 nk stop. bajet nk tunjuk perasaan dh lame dh merasa daging la kan. amek kau, sume aku bantai masuk perut.

esok paginye, kol 6 lebih camtu dh pening2 tp pakse gak tido. yela, syg plak nk bangun pagi awal2 wahahahaha. tp tkleh gak tido, pening melampau2. pegi jer toilet, terus muntah tak menahan. lega sekejap. tp tak lame pastu, pening lagi. pening gile. and muntah lagi. confirm tak pegi class. mmg nasib baik tak pegi class. coz lepas tu mmg muntah2. agaknye morning sickness camni tak? ye kot kan? hahahha igtkan nk pegi class ptg, sbb ade microbiology. adui, dh 4 class microb aku tak pegi. tu la, bile tkde pape sukesuke hati je tanak pegi class. bile sakit2 camni la rase nyesal takleh pegi class. aku pon tak paham.

moral of the story, jgn mkn daging melampau2. firstly, makan daging melampau2 bole increase our blood pressure and contribute to heart diseases cuz the cholesterol level is high. and it will definitely lead to obesity. serik nk mkn daging. tadi pon tgk diorang ni bawak bekal lauk daging, dah loya2 takut termuntah2 lg. hahahaha. so, just a public reminder, not to eat excessive amount of meat in one shot.

skarang ni, semangat nk blaja mmg jatuh merudum tergolek2. ceh, tah bile mase plak semangat blaja aku penah tinggi kan. tapi kali ni nk isytiharkan, aku malas nk blaja pape pon smpai habis cuti bulan 12 nnti. which means, smpai 11th january. hahahah. isk sumpah tak tau nape malas sgt. ni la satu2 nye soalan yg tak terjmpe2 jawapannye dari dulu lagi. penat tau blaja. ni blom blaja lagi tp dh penat mengalahkan org yg rajin, dh blaja nnti terpengsan2 kepenatan kot. kalau dh malas is in the gene, takleh buat ape laaa. nasib aku la dilahirkan malas. hahahahaha.

tomorrow is saturday. igt nk lepak tapiiii, i have clinical class tomorrow! arghhh, sabtu pon dh tak aman damai mcm doolu2. tinggal ahad je nk lepak2. kekadang tu aku pegi class just for the sake nak dpt attendance. serious. that pemalas! mcm class OBG and pediatric tadi. pdhal bukan pening ke penat ke ape. tp saje je tanak dengar ape lecture tu ckp. isk, tunggu la lg sebulan, pasti smangat blaja muncul kembali! wahahahahhahaha *in my dreams!* tapi, serious ni. lagi sebulan k?lg sebulan msti rajin sket dari skarang, mesti!

so, i wrote enough craps kot. gooodbye for now. heeeee!

gersangkah anda? something to ponder.

a certain someone asked my opinion about being loyal to our special someone, is it a mandatory or is it not? apparently, the one who came out with such question was a guy, a very thoughtful one! :D

well, it's really up to an individual. but as for me, i believe in karma. what goes around comes around. i dun want my boyfriend to flirt around with some other girls when i faithfully wait for him. how do i react if i get to know that my boyfriend is seeking another girl? that will definitely cost me tears. yeah, hate to admit this but i am that fragile to be frank. i'm a believer, and i believe love is a gift, something that's very pure and miraculous. love does wonders to us all. don't u think so? and it's a shame that some people are just too blind to realize how wonderful love is by making love all fouled-up with the presence of 3rd person.

most of the time, distance is the strongest ever reason for someone to cheat with his other half. that's so pathetic okay. if u can't handle the distance, then i would suggest u not to get involve in this game called love. being in love doesn't necessarily means that u'll be all glued-up to ur other half and that distance won't come in between, bullshit. and being away from ur loved one is not the ticket for u to get a newbie in ur pathetic game. unless ur faraway darling is treating u like shit, i strongly believe that distance doesn't give u the privilege of having a new guy/girl out of the loneliness that u're going thru.

i've been observing for quite some time. this phenomenon is epidemic. almost everyone is getting themselves a new love, leaving behind the faraway darling. and of course, they are fully prepared with the list of reasons on why they are eligible to do so. isn't it a shame? i mean, feeling is not something that we can simply play with. to me, it's something to be cherished, to be taken care of, and it should be looked upon as something that's very precious. sadly, some people fail to think that way.

loneliness injects a lot of negative thoughts inside our mind. i feel that too. i dun have heart of an angel, and i admit that sometimes i do feel like getting myself a new guy to fill up my loneliness. and in fact, i do have every chance of doing so. but 2nd thought about it will definitely bring me back to the real world and i will end up cursing myself for having such filthy, dirty, smutty thoughts.

i must say that distance is really something. but to me, distance means so little when someone means so much. i too make a big fuss over the distance but then again, it stops there. i won't let the distance tells me that my relationship is over and i won't use that lame excuse to flirt with some other guys in the name of fun (or gersang to be precise hahah) as long as my brain is able to function the way it is now, i'm not gonna get involved in this pathetic situation. as much as i expect my faraway darling to respect and wait for me, i'll do the same for him too.

i am definitely not the best example of someone who is loyal to her special one. not that i'm not one. but i believe there's always someone better than me. the message i'm trying to convey in this entry is for us all to cherish our loved ones. love is not something that we can simply find, but it is something that we build. i hope u have something to ponder now :) see ya~

i declare war on terror!

i never really pay that much attention on any bombing attack or anything like this before. but i'm following closely on the updates of mumbai attack. here goes the reasons :

1. because i am now living in india
2. because me and my family are going to delhi and agra soon
3. because there are rumours saying that malaysia has got something to do with this attack(but it's already proven to be wrong)
4. because i've been in that very place some time ago (i wonder if the pakcik hotel is still living, and the waiters in leopold cafe etc etc)

i seriously don't get it. WHY? why do u have to kill innocent people out of your own sake? what do u want? hundreds are killed. in fact, a malaysian woman was killed in mumbai bomb blast. kesian sgt. this attack gives a big impact, not only to indian people, but also to foreigners in india. we don't feel safe. i feel like going back to my hometown right away. but thinking back, no place is guaranteed to be 100% safe anymore.

i'm going to delhi very very soon but all my friends are cancelling their trip to delhi etc out of their fear following this mumbai attack. i asked my dad for his opinion, weather we should go on with the plan or cancel the whole thing. how can we cancel the long-awaited trip? we've spent a lot already. for the flight tickets, visas, hotels in delhi and agra etc etc. and this is not for 1 person, but for my whole family, 8 of us! i couldn't concentrate in class thinking of this. and this is the sms i got from my dad, which convinced me to just go on with the trip ;

"Yelah everything is ready. kite doa and buat smbhyang hajat byk2 mintak pertolongan Allah. Mintak jauhi segala malapetaka and mintak selamat pergi dan balik"

he sounds so skema kan? hahahah but anyway, he's totally right. right now, what we can do is doa and smbahyang hajat, not just for ourselves, but for everybody. doa is the most powerful weapon, remember? let us all berdoa for the world to be a better place to live, no more war, no more bombing or gunshot attack and no more racism.

please, stop the terror.

perfect drug

i was having some sort of emotional breakdown lately. i get irritated and emotionally disturbed easily. yes, my heart is missing some pieces. the loved ones! the family, the besties and the sweetheart!

and i was lucky enough to have the whole weekend with my little dinosour :) he came all the way from manipal to bangalore! loving itttttttttttttt!!! and he is my drug. the drug that kiss away the emotional imbalance. :D perfect drug i would call.

babyku and babymu

my little dinosour is getting fatterrrrr! but i love him fat so i can pinch all his lemak2 :D and ohhh, he won't stop showing off his biceps and triceps hahahah *bangga laa tu!*

my little dinosour loves to eat :D

and his appetite is beyond everything else. kuat mkn nihhh!

my little dinosour is so comel lahhh!

it's been 2 months since we last met. well, we are supposed to meet on february '09 but jgn harap lahhh cuz i misss him damn muchhhh and he misses me tooo so he came over hehe and after my trip to new delhi in december i'll be going to manipal for the whole 1 week :D i'll be his cook for the whole 1 week to make sure that he is well nourished! hahahah

messy messy him

can't u tell? i love it when he's around. thanks little dinosour for coming. i know the bus ride suck big time but u came anyway. thanks a lot babykuuuu! i love u so so so muchhh! and having you around is the best damn thing :) because you complete me.

and lucky lucky me

another attack in india

have u heard the news? the gunshot attack in Mumbai, India last nite. isn't it obvious? India is no longer a safe country. there are terrorist attacks here and there in India. Bangalore is not excluded seriously. remember the bomb blast in Bangalore some time ago? damn those places are just a few kilometres away from my place. no kidding mannn!

and now, Mumbai! i clicked on the net to find out more about this latest attack in mumbai...

and....

GULP. and GULP!!

the horrible scene took place around colaba area. gotta believe this, i stayed in colaba for the whole 1 week about 6 months ago!!! scary huhhhh??!!!!! as i read the news, all the restaurants and hotels involved are very VERY VERY familiar to me! shit kan? imagine if this scary event were to take place when i was there in mumbai, shit, scary mannn!

this is the famous taj hotel. the picture was taken by me, 6 months ago. isn't it lovely? it's a well-known luxurious hotel in mumbai. we actually went inside the hotel, it was fabulous!

and look at this picture! scary kannnn??and trust me, the hotel we were staying in was just behind this taj hotel. omg, just imagine how lucky i am. thank god there wasn't anything like this happening during my stay in colaba.

and this is Shivaji Terminus, the biggest train terminal in mumbai. again, this is the picture of that train terminal taken by me 6 months ago. yes, this train terminal was where i first step my foot in mumbai.


and look at this picture. dead bodies all around. i can't believe it. i was there! damn. scary gile sumpah tak tipu.

the gunmen also attacked a few restaurants. Mumbai's Cafe Leopold and Cafe Mondegar. we've been there, pagi ptg siang mlm during my stay in mumbai. nice place to hang out, majority of the customers were mat salleh, no wonder la kan. and i can't believe the gunshot event took place in these 2 lovely cafes too. again, thank god i am now in bangalore safe and sound.

the world is no longer a safe place to live. anywhere at all. terrorist attack happens almost everywhere. why? why can't we let the world population live in peace? what's with the endless attacks? why do we make human life that worthless? i'll be staying in india for another 4.5 years. it has only been a year since i live in india, and there were like, erm, at least 4 cases of bombing attack in india during my stay. delhi, ahmedabad, bangalore and mumbai. wow, that's quite a number.

dear family and friends, do pray for me to have a safe stay in india.

croatian rhapsody

this music describes my feeling perfectly.
well, it's open for your interpretation.

sweetest sin

nature fails me. i'm not supposed to spend my money for anything unnecessary but errr...i got myself a super nice outfit today! tak menyesal, tapi cam...hahahaha...whatever. let's just call it an accident la kot? maybe i was in the state of half conscious and so i accidentally bought that super nice outfit for me. hahah i feel sinful to myself, a sweet one! *what am i crapping about la!*

oh we had a dinner last nite. a dinner between the doctors, our seniors and my batch at somewhere near my teaching hospital, Baptist Hospital. well, it was a dinner, a dinner is supposed to be all formal and proper lalala kan? so i chose to wear my baju kurung moden la and i thought everyone else pon pakai lagi lawa2 la kan. but tgk2 orang lain pakai very casual, jeans etc etc. what? i had no idea that it was a casual dinner. i was wearing baju kurung and baz with her baju kebaya, siap dgn clutch okkkaayyy! damn, ni gile mencapub. hahah mane la kitorang tau orang lain sume pakai jeans. pergh, amek kau kan dh jadi pompuan melayu terakhir. dah tak pasal2 orang kate kitorang smangat gile hahahaha pape je la janji aku tak kacau orang kan kan kan.

the dinner started at around 8. as majority of the doctors are christian, so they started off with their prayers to Jesus. pergh, this is my first time kot pegi function yg start dgn prayers to Jesus. well, as much as they respect our religion, kite pon buat la the same thing kan. then, one of the docs played the piano and another doc sang a song. doctors okkaaayyyy! next, 2 female doctors plak buat performance. sorang main guitar, sorang nyanyi. pergh, padahal muke nerd je, tapi main guitar kot? doctor kot? specialist kot? wah. kagum kagum. and my favourite surgeon, Dr. Renol pon nyanyi lagu Ice ice baby. cool kan? and my OBG doctor plak nyanyi lagu hindustan, gile ar suare sedap gilerrrr! they are cool doctors okkkaayy! i thought i'm gonna be the first cool doctor (hahaha apekah?) but cool doctors do exist! i love the doctors here seriously. they're friendly, very dedicated but cooool enough to joke around with the students :) unlike the doctors in our college, so not friendly.

then, ade la performance from the students plak. ala cam biase la, dak2 band. obviously, no participation from the girls. aahhh, time2 camni la i rindu nk main guitar balik. baz dh keco2 nk buat performance pasni. hahaha, well, die ngaku suare die sedap. ermmm bolela, setaraf ngan suare i la. hahahahaha. ish nyesal tak bawak jer guitar datang india ari tuh. abah la ni, tak bagi kite bawak guitar sbb die nk main. cis cis!

pencapub sekalian alam, me and baz.

on our way back to apartment, baz dh sibuk2 practice nyanyi. hahahahah tkleh blah kannn minah ni. kononnye i'll play the guitar and she'll sing a song. dan dan terus die nk bli guitar. hahahah aduyai. i really need to brush up my skill. oh i soooo miss time kat kms where i used to jam with the girls. with ili, lina, fiona, and uja. ili the drummer, lina the guitarist, uja the keyboardist and fiona the singer. okay la, since lina lagi hebat main guitar so i pon jadi la bassist. ni mmg smpai senget2 bahu sbb berat gile kot bass tu. hahaha take turn la. ade time main guitar gak. gile rindu okkkk! wpon masing2 pon tkde la gempak amat tp cam layan jerrrr! best gak per kan kan kan! wpon tmpat jamming tu hodoh lagi busuk tapi u girls rock my socks laaa! ili berjaya memartabatkan kaum wanita as a female drummer wahahahahahha. sumpah rindu nk sasau dgn kau, ili. kau mmg the best sasau partner alive! hahahaha msti kau rindu mulut puaka aku kannn! hahahaha

gone were the days. dulu guitar was my bestfriend cewah. asal pnat blaja je kat kms mule la tangan gatal2 petik guitar. pdhal baru blaja 5 minit. lina pon slalu kunjung mengunjungi dan ziarah menziarahi bilik aku sbb nk main guitar. pergh, minah sorang ni jgn main2. ni mmg dewa dewi ar. arrr rindu. sini tkde geng kot? lagi berkarat la skill aku. pesal la korang tak dtg sini eh! kalau tak bole aku terus mengkematukan jari jemari aku! rindu wehhhhh!

tkpe baz, mari kite merealisasikan impian kite bersama. hahahah mmg kau ngan aku kaki capub sedunia, tiada was-was lagi. syabas!

p/s : pnat cari gmbar jamming kat kms, rupenye time reformat the laptop sume pics dh terdelete! aduyai! kalau tak bole upload pics2 selebet kite jamming kat studio jamming yg lengkap berbendera malaysia hahah. rindu, tak tipu!

who are you to judge me?

upset. annoyed. disappointed.

who are you to say this and that about me? do u know me perfectly? do u know me from top to toe? just because i'm lack of that one thing it doesn't mean that i'm that naive, stupid and ignorant about my own religion!

please lah, mind ur words ok! i'm open for any advices because i am very much aware that i'm not perfect like u but please, no harsh-and-makan-dalam words ok? i agree that u're a goood muslim but i THINK u've got to work a little bit more on your relationship with the people around u, and of course, your communication skills suck big time, sorry to say that. it really was.

people love to assume. and a lot of people assumed me for doing this and that. wow, looks like everybody knows me perfectly eh? i'm not gonna waste my time listing the things that i really did and things that i did not do. what's the point? u may think it's just another episode of me pretending to be an angel. so, if u really think u know me that perfect, then be it. and labelling someone is another in-thing isn't it? thanks for the nickname that i've got. maybe u should give one for yourself too.

i'm sick of the hypocrites around me. i'm suffocated. pretending is like the only thing they're good at. if you dunno me, then stop acting like u do. i may not be perfect but i dun deserve those harsh thoughts and words. so, BACK OFF!

p/s : only to whom it may concern.

the tickets. the classes. the couples.

it's been a while since i last update about myself. errr, where to start?

first thing first, flight tickets from bangalore to new delhi for me and my family dah settle. but still i need to have further discussion with the travel agency about the hotel and how to get around in delhi. we definitely gonna hit taj mahal by the end of this year! the weather is expected to be cool (max is 20 degree celcius kot?) and a friend of mine said that seeing taj mahal is like seeing a hugeee postcard, heee i can't wait! my mom plak dh ckp awal2 die nk shop for sarees to make baju kurung etc etc. well, woman, biase ar tuu! hahahah

next, what am i up to these days? lectures and clinical posting. i just couldn't make my life more interesting at this moment. especially now that i desperately need to save up some money hahahah. lectures are of no fun, exception to forensic medicine lecture. yeah i do find it interesting. imagine u found a dead body, and u cant even tell whether the dead body belongs to a man or woman, which race, age etc etc. but with forensic medicine, all these informations are possible to obtain! coool kan? i mean, it may not sound dat coool to u but once u go through the books and listen to the lectures, it is coool. even a single tattoo mark can tell u a lot of information. hahaha the rest? pharmacology - yucks. microbiology - so so laahh. pathology - best best! but pharmacology mmg cannot go laaa...

oh clinical posting, i'm loving it. most of my friends find it boring and tiring. well, it is tiring, but to me it is damn interesting man! i get to deal with real patients. i get to diagnose people. i get to see patients with splenomegaly(enlargement of spleen), hepatomegaly(enlargement of liver), thyroid swelling, ulceration, hernia etc etc. ahhh sooo coool! and taking up medicine is definitely not a mistake. i love it totally.

imagine if i were to take engineering?
pergh, gile ape. physics mmg cannot go la.

actuarist?
too much figures will definitely make me go mad, though i love mathematics. *yes, i was about to take up this field*

accountant?
again, too much numbers, boring.

architect?
gosh, i suck at art. *i specifically mean drawing okay, nk lukis tige segi pon hodoh*

tesl?
well, i do love to write hmmpphhh.. or

musician?
oh oh a big YES! no no i dun have golden voice but i love singing and i love to play guitar *gosh, dh lame gile tk main and my fingertips pon dh kembali lembut okkkaayy! hahaha*

supermodel?
hahaha nak nak!

oh whatever, i guess i'm destined to serve the nation as a doctor. insyaAllah. :)

i guess im a total lonesome here in bangalore. it's not like i dun have friends or what. but i would say a large number of malaysian students kat sini are romantically attached dgn student kat sini jugak. there's every chance to see couples here and there, tak kire la, senior ke, my batch ker, junior ke..bersepah! and my boyfriend is like sooooo faraway! when orang lain buat keje together, study same, pegi class same2, kluar jalan same2, teman each other pegi bayar bil la pegi pasar la draw duit kat bank la, i do it all alone. fine, tkde la everything pon buat sorang2, but i'm not the type who likes to depend on other ppl if i wanna do something, so i dun mind la buat bnde tu sendiri n sorang2. but, but bile tgh sorang2 skali ternmpak plak 2-3 couples at the same time tgh suke2 ria, rase lain mcm ar. pnah rase tak? cam rase, geram pon ade, tension pon ade, jeles pon ade.

earlier this day, i went to the bank nk buat demand draft utk bayar sewa umah. dhla bank tu jauh, jln la kaki sorang2. ditemani my mp4 semate2. pstu tak pnah plak buat DD ni, so cam terkapai2 sorang2 kat bank tu but settle la gak at last. but time tgh terkapai2 tu la i saw a few couples, pegi bank same2, naik motor siap. aku nie, jln kaki sorang2 je. tp i berjaye la buat muke kental, muke tkde hal. padahal.........waaaaaaaaaaa. jeles jeles! dush dush!

well, i guess that sum up everything for today, and a few days back. nothing really interesting kan? heheheh till then, bubbbye!

p/s : this is the song yg teman kite time jln sorang2 pegi bank tadi, dedicated to my little dinosour! i so miss u! :(

zahirah tarmizi, i am.

hello, i was tagged by nini and aida, at the same time. the questions are about the same, so i'll do both in one shot okay!

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, and to ask them to play and read your blog

Starting time: 3.44 pm
Name: nur zahirah binti ahmad tarmizi
Sisters : 4
Brothers : 1
Shoe size :6/7 (baiklah, saye mmg kaki gajah)
Height : 158 cm
Where do you live : section 9, shah alam :D terbaik!

Have you,

ever been on a plane : eh tak pnah la, datang india naik sampan okay!
Swam in the ocean : yeah, love it love it!
Fallen asleep at school : jgn kate school, dh besa panjang ni pon same jer hahaha
Broken someone's heart : i dun have heart of an angel, yes i did!
Fell off your chair : dulu slalu, time skola rendah n lower form..kwn2 suke tarik krusi time kite nk duduk.cis!
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call : yes
Saved e-mails : very rare

What is your room like : luas and loving it!
What's right beside you : bantal peluk panjang imported from malaysia :)
What is the last thing you ate : self made nasik goreng. skip OBG talk sbb nk balik umah n masak. kebuluran tapi mahu berjimat cermat!

Ever had,

Chicken pox : mase std 6, grounded!
Sore throat : occasionally.
Broken nose : hahaha funny la!

Do you

believe in love at first sight : mmg tak. attracted, maybe. but not love.
Like picnics : with good food and great people, yes!

Who was/were,

The last person you danced with : my boyfriend, bazilah! hahahaha
Last made you smile : my boyfriend gak, azar syazwan kesayangan!
You last yelled at : ahhh...tak igt la.

Today Did You,

Talk to someone you like : talked to my friends n my dinosour
Kissed anyone : today, tak!
Get sick : sehat :)
Talk to an ex : hahahah mmg tak. nk kene ker?
Miss someone : very much smpai temperature naik. btul tak tipu.

Who do you really hate : erm, ade lah. hahaha
Do you like your hand-writing : yes! mcm doctor hodohnye!
Are your toe nails painted : not now
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in : any, asalkan sedap.
What color shirt are you wearing now : mustard

Are you a friendly person : well, most of the time kot?? but i cn be really quiet when i dun feel comfortable with the crowd.
Do you have any pets : back home, yes, cats n ikan koi.
Do you sleep with the TV on : nope. bile nk tido, i'll make sure i sleep on my bed without anything else on my bed, and with lights off. tido mesti berkualiti.
What are you doing right now : kill time?
Can you handle the truth : i cant handle lies.
Are you closer to your mother or father : daddy! i'm daddy's girl! my mom garang arrr, scary!
Do you eat healthy : never bother, seriously.

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex : tah mane tah
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to : boyfriend and close friends.
Are you loud or quiet most of the time : loud kot? silence kills.
Are you confident : erm depends la. layan je.

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire,
-travel around the world together with my family
-perfect perfect pre-wedding, wedding, and post-wedding party :D
-ape lagi, shop for designer tops etc etc uh oh high heels! yes, buat library kasut.
-hantar my little soldiers pegi blaja tinggi2 (my adik2 yg berderet)
-buy anything that my parents wish for

5 things I was doing 10 years ago, (i was 11)
-pakai spek bulat (ye saye mmg rabun)
-main netball ganas2 smpai berlumpur2 serious tak tipu
-agak tomboyish laa...pakai seluar dlm baju kurung, abis kelas cabut kain pstu main kejar2 la ape la hahaha comel la plak.
-pegi kedai jauh sorang2 sbb nk beli chocolate(kalau mak tau msti kene marah)
-gile mel-c spice girls smpai suro org panggil kite mel-c malaysia hahahaha sengal

5 of my bad habits
-study last minute, dah la, dh pnat berazam nk berubah, give up ar.
-ponteng class aduyai
-pantang pintu bilik bukak if kite tgh lepak bilik grrrr! wpon tak mengadap pintu, kite tau pintu tu bukak ke tak, if terbukak automatic terannoyed tatau la kenape.
-tido without removing my make up.
-beli baju pstu pakai skali 2 jer or bli baju pstu tatau bile nk pakai. ish.

5 places i've lived/am living
-petaling jaya
-ss19, subang jaya
-section 4, shah alam
-section 9, shah alam (till now)
-gokula, bangalore, india

5 persons to be tagged
-open tagging, sape rase die cantik and hensem, sile buat.

gambar hiasan semata2

(padahal rindu sampai temperature naik)

how tech allows us to deceive our loved ones.

if u're a regular reader of my blog, u'll realize that most of my posts are basically about me and things that happen around me. today, i'm gonna write about something that is rather informative, and i would say, a little controversial. something that has claim and counter-claim. i regret for not knowing about this when i was doing IB in KMS. if it was the other way round, i surely pick this topic as my TOK(Theory of Knowledge) presentation. hahahah so here goes...

ever heard of hymenoplasty? no? no worries. i'll make it crystal clear to u. hymenoplasty is hymen restoration surgery. it is meant to restore virginity. what's hymen? hymen is a fold of mucosal membrane that covers the external vaginal opening. u get what i mean right? hymen is usually damaged or torn during the first sexual intercourse. and the tearing of hymen is famously believed as an indicator dat a girl is no longer a virgin. yes, it's true to some extent, but hymen can also be damaged through sports, improper usage of tampons etc etc. so, that famous belief doesn't always hold true in all cases .

virginity of a woman is very much valued especially in religion point of view. u don't wanna marry a girl who's no longer a virgin isn't it? so, technology comes with a solution to this. HYMENOPLASTY. it's a medical procedure that allows re-virginization. i'm not gonna go any further with the procedure and all, but this medical procedure has sparked controversy, yes, mainly on its ethical values. and that's what i'm interested about.

mainly, those who seek for hymenoplasty are the ones who are trying to appease religious, cultural and social beliefs. yeah, especially those who are getting married with the hope not to upset the future husband with the fact that she is no longer a virgin. isn't it a form deception? you're about to get married with someone u think u're gonna spend ur whole life with, and yet u're trying to deceive him by undergoing hymenoplasty.

so, what do u think? is it appropriate? is it not? in other case, maybe the girl needs to undergo this controversial medical procedure because her hymen is torn due to sports, horse-riding etc etc (other than sexual intercourse). afraid that she'll be mistaken for a non-virgin, she decides to cover things up with hymenoplasty. partly, i still think that it is a form of deception. but hey, her intention is good. so, what do u think?

in Malaysia, i believe there is no such thing as hymenoplasty (or is it there already?) but this form of business is growing rapidly both in demand and popularity in majority of Middle East countries and Latin America. i personally think that the existence of hymenoplasty brings no good especially to the current and future population. imagine what will happen to the world if every girl can afford to undergo this surgery, financially. i guess, every girl will have a blast during their teenage life, and when they're about to settle down with someone special, they'll re-virginize themselves. poor husband.

on contrary, what if the girl wants to turn a new leaf and leave behind everything she had in the past? if she tells her future husband about the truth, there's every possibility that he can't accept it though she really regret what she did. in this case, is it acceptable to seek for hymenoplasty? i personally think that partly, she has a strong reason. she doesn't want to ruin the relationship, probably with the most ideal guy she ever met. but still, it's another form deception. what we usually call as white lie. what say you?

im not sure if u find this topic interesting. it is, to me. so, what do u think? any comments?

pics of the month

i've been writing too much *tak larat sudeyh* now, let the pictures do the talking!

hari raya celebration in india :)

high heels!! <3>

KMS students in bangalore lalala~

jen's buftday bash!

masquarade party!

nana turns 20!

loves :)

those are recent pictures of me and my friends in india!

for the soul

i love the song.
i love the lyrics.
i love the music.

too much of a good thing

i just feel a little dejected lately. even worse when nobody is there to listen to me. sometimes, i do feel unappreciated. i THINK i've been a great listener to quite a number of ppl. just by listening to ppl's problems, i know it helps to alleviate their burden, if not much, maybe a little. but just when i need someone to listen to me, nobody seems to care.

too much of a good thing is not good. maybe i care too much about other people. and it is disappointing to know that they dun actually care if u're okay or not. they dun bother to know. even if they know u're facing a hard time, they dun bother to be there for u.

this is worth a lesson ; not to expect too much from someone else. the best motivator lies within you, yes, yourself.

baz, nana dan ajaran sesat mereka.

dis is real story la. but i dun play any role here. just a narrator la. i pon confuse nk categorize cite ni as cite lawak ke cite yg annoying. well, i guess it's a combination of both.

about 2-3 days back, budak2 baru yg akan join kitorang as 2nd year medical students dgn selamatnye smpai ke bangalore. well, i've no problem at all. in fact, am looking forward to make new friends. tapi, some shit happened. not to me, to my close friends. tapi agak annoying arrrr so i'm driven to write about some ppl's idiocy

okay, these 2 friends of mine, N and B ni terpakse la pindah duduk sebilik sbb nk memuatkan bebudak baru datang ni. bebudak baru ni kalo nk ikutkan tkde umah, tp kite pon ade la gak common sense kan, takkan nk suke suki dok satu bilik sorang time org lain dun even have a place to stay. so, B n N ni dgn baik hatinye kosongkan satu bilik kat umah dorg utk bagi budak baru ni masuk. first day, sume ok. 2nd day, sume ok. 3rd day, jeng jeng jeng.

camnie, hsemates baru dorg ni ade 2 org. Limah and Joyah (bukan name sebenar). Joyah ni ok-ok je la. takde wat hal. Limah ni plak ade sorang bestfriend, yg jugak budak baru datang, name die Senah. nk dijadikan cite, Senah ni dpt dok sebilik ngan another friend of mine, R. Si Senah ni katenye dh bertunang. so nk dijadikan cite, ade satu hari ni. N lepak2 kat umah R time lunch, skali dgn hsemates R yg lain. makan lunch bersame2 beramai2. kebetulan, time tu diorang mkn skali bersama 2 org kawan lelaki. bukan buat ape tu. terang benderang siap. mkn2 je pon. tiba2, Senah masuk rumah, nmpak je budak laki 2 org ni, die panjang slack gile babi. lepas tu, terus masuk bilik die(yg juge bilik R) n terus hempas pintu. tak lame lepas tu...

"R!meh sini jap", ceh, Si Senah ni pandai2 nk panggil org cam panggil kuli.

"sape budak 2 org tu?ape die buat kat sini?bile nk balik?", Si Senah sambung lagi.

"oh,diorang dtg mkn lunch. dorg nk balik dh", R mmg sopan santun ar.

"awak tau tak saye dh bertunang, saye kene hormat etc etc", Si Senah ni bising2 plak cam rumah tu die yg punye.

fine, kalau ye pon tak puas hati, camtu ke cara nk berckp ngan org? dhla kau baru kenal org, duduk menumpang plak tu, ade hati nk bising2 camtu? kalau ye pon tk selesa ngan cara diorang, bole je kot kau ckp elok2. just because u're 2-3 years older, it doesn't mean that u dun have to respect us. please, sape kata org lagi tua tak perlu respect org muda?

oh, lepas tu. Si Senah ni pegi umah Si Limah(umah N n B la ni). gossip2 + kutuk2 la tu. tak sedar2 menumpang, ade hati nk mengutuk si pemberi tumpang. the next thing we knew was, Si Senah ngan Si Limah ni bawak cite, kate N ngan B ade patung kat umah. siap ade rantai ala2 Rome Purba (what the heck kan?) and pstu claim N ngan B ikut ajaran sesat. hello, aku ni pegi umah diorang hari2 kot, tk pnah plak jmpe mane2 patung berantai ala2 Rome Purba (ni sumpah bodoh nk mati) . B ngan N ni dh terpinga2 dok pikir celah mane plak dorang bela patung kat umah tu. takkan teddy bear B is mistaken as patung berantai ala2 Rome Purba kot? ni mmg bikin panas. B ngan N sikit punye baik layan dorg, dpt plak cite bukan2 camtu. apekah?

pstu tadi pagi, aku n B nmpak the 2 BFF ni pegi jmpe Prof Sudha (our dean). N siap nampak BFF ni sedu sedan time jmpe dean. apekah? complaint psl ajaran sesat ker?wakakakakkakakak. mmg gile tak masuk akal n disrespectful la. i know my friends very well la. though diorang tak nmpak alim and all, tapi takdela smpai dh tak kenal tuhan sendiri. and tkde la smpai nk fitnah org lain ade ajaran sesat ke ape. kalau diorang tu elok sgt, yg dok nk reka2 cite camtu ape kes? org kalau cukup baik, cukup adab, tkdenye mase nk buat cite camtu.

oh another thing, ni R cite kat kitorang. memandangkan bilik R ni ditakdirkan sempit, maka katil kat bilik tu dirapatkan ar nk jimat space. tp Si Senah ni suke suki die kate die takleh tido kalau katil rapat. so, berbekalkan segala kebijaksanaan dan kepandaian otak, maka Senah pon menseparatekan katil mereka dgn kadar SEJENGKAL, dan Senah pon bole tido nyenyak. rase tak annoying di situ? sejengkal je pon. kecah btul Senah ni.

tah la, aku ni baru la nk menanamkan impression yg baik kepada kawan2 yg baru smpai ni. mmg la dorang ni lg tua dr kitorang. bukannye kitorang ni tak reti2 nk respect org yg lagi besar, tapi kalau org yg lagi besar tu perangai cam haprak, jgn harap la kitorang nk respect. lantak la kau dh tunang ke, dh kawin ker, dh jadi janda ke, kalo dh name biadap, pegi mati same kau.

moral of the story is, kalau awak tu orang baru datang, menumpang plak tu, buat la care menumpang, tu pon nk kene ajar ke? otak letak kat buku lali ke kak? baru 2-3 hari kat sini, kau dh buat drama melayu, lg 2-3 tahun, mcm2 la filem melayu kau kat sini ye kak? gile annoying.

k la, aku nk pegi tolong B ngan N pegi cari patung berantai ala Rome Purba kat umah dorang. wakakakkaka. misteri sey. nak kene cari gak patung misteri yg menjadi sebutan kakak2 biadap ni. wakakakakakkaakkaka.

p/s : to those yg tak tau psl cite ni, msti pening bace ape tah aku tulis kan. hahahaha sorry susunan sedikit tahi tp aku malas nk betulkan. korang phm2 sendiri je la. tak paham sudah name kau dollah. ok bye.

marah %@%#%#^$^&#^# dan marah!

whats up laa with the electricity in india??? mcm taikkkkkk!!!!!!! time aku nk bersiap2 keluar for night out, time tu la tkde letrik! celah mane aku nk pakai baju make up pe sume! nk iron baju sume celah mane? dah la i was running out of time, pstu bole plak tkde letrik! dhla lampu generator umah ni tkde jugak! errrrgggghhh psl tkde letrik arrrr aku tk dpt nk blow rambut sume! babssss!

everyday pon tkde letrik, apekah???!! nk jadi cam last time ke? time aku final, time aku struggle nk abiskan syllabus, time tu la tkde letrik! then nak tak nak, kene gak blaja with lilin! kalau ikutkan, buat hape? buat tambah rabun aku jer! tapi, dah mmg time time tu gak final, bile lagi nk bace nyeee? terpakse arrr blaja dlm gelap!! babs! sumpah bengang!

pstu skarang, die start balik! smalam tkde letrik! td pagi tkde letrik, smpai aku nk tido pon tak sedap! paling latest, tadiii! time bersiap nk keluar!!!!! bole takkk, make up dkt pintu umah, sbb nk amek lighting dari luar! mmg super sial!

mmg emo! mmg!! biar ar korang nk kate ape! yg penting aku dh bengang, jadi homeless pon dpt gak pakai lampu jalan! ni rumah elok2, dhla bayar satu bilik tu bapak mahalnye, bole plak tkde letrik! babs!!!!

oh lagi satu, sewa umah nnti naik by 40%! WTFFF!!!!! tak cukup2 mahal lagi kerrR? kat msia umah lg cantik pon sewa tak semahal kat sini! cibai punye bangalore! kalo camni, ni yg aku rase nk beli papan pstu buat rumah sendiri! tak pon duduk jer kat slum area! satu bilik yg blom tentu besa pon rs 7000! bongok nk mati!!! itu baru SATU BILIK! damn! cekik darah orang! arrrggghhhh bab^ punye bangaloreee!

*itulah die luahan perasaan utk malam ini. sekian terima kasih!*

losing

losing people that i love the most is one of my biggest fear. please, i can't afford to lose anyone that i love. not my dad, not my mom, not my siblings, not my besties, not my boyfriend, not even friends. they mean a lot to me.

recently, a good friend of mine lost her beloved mother. she's my housemate to be specific. though her mother has got nothing to do with me, i do feel the pain of losing someone very significant in life. but it can never be comparable to the pain that she's feeling. but i very much believe that she's strong enough to face this. insyaAllah.

losing a person, whether the person dies or the person just walk away from our life, is indeed painful. but without us realizing it, losing someone we love the most teaches us a lot of things. it teaches us to be strong, to accept things, and to be independent. sometimes, losing someone is the only way we can learn. gotta believe it.

i can write based on my experience. i used to have a good friend. everything went well at the beginning of our friendship. not until i know his true colors. he was VERY hot-tempered, a control freak, he swears all he wants and he promised a lot, and i kept hoping hopelessly for him to fulfill his promises. because i love the friendship, and because he was someone very significant in my life, i patiently waited and hoped for him to change. but nothing changes. not even my tears can change him. not even my words. nothing can change him. he was cold hearted. and still he refused to let go the friendship. and so i waited, i stupidly told myself to have faith in him. but my patience was useless, and finally, my faith towards him was tarnished. this time, i gotta prioritize myself above anything else. we were through.

yes, it wasn't a good ending. it wasn't what we both wanted. but i had to do it. i believe, that's the only way he can learn. and me too, i've learnt a lot too. i'm now glad that he realized his mistakes. not to say that i've committed no mistakes, i did too. it was a lesson for us both. to list down the things that i've learnt, it'll require me pages. i mean it. but, it's all in the past. i can't turn back time. even if i could, i would never want to go back and fix things up. let it remains how it is now. i am now fine. though it was tough at the beginning, i managed to get through it. i managed to get over it. that's what "losing" taught me. i am now stronger than i was before. thanks to you.

"why do we never know what we've got till it's gone?"

think about it.