Sahur di Rumah vs Sahur di Perantauan

This is my fourth Ramadhan in Bangalore, India termasuk first time puasa time aku baru fly dulu2. Ceh, ayat nak 'dulu2..', habis nostalgic la tu kan. Pejam celik pejam celik, tak lame lagi nak masuk 4th year dah aku ni.

Aku ni jenis manusia yang memang malas nak bangun sahur. Kalau takde makanan sedap, tak payah kejut aku bangun sahur, malas! Time dekat boarding school and KMS dulu pun, aku memang tak layan sangat bersahur-sahur ni. Aku akan try bangun sahur sekali, and bile dapat tau makanan dewan makan menghampakan lagi mengecewakan, terus aku tak bangun2 sahur dah. Same macam dekat India ni, bulan puasa kali ni aku pernah bangun sahur sekali ni. Pastu ade la 2-3 kali terjaga time sahur, rembat la kurma barang sebijik dua. Nasib la aku jenis manusia yang tahan je puasa walaupun tak sahur.

Tapiiii, kalau dekat rumah, aku sukeeeeeeee sangat sahurrrr! Selalunye kitorang tak beli or masak makanan lain pun untuk sahur. Selalunye leftover time berbuka tu la dijadikan sahur. Kenape saye suke sahur dekat rumah? Sebabbbb, mak masak sedap! Selalunye orang tak lalu nak makan berat2 time sahur kannn, tapiiii, aku boleh tambah 2-3 pinggan time sahur kat rumah wahahaha. Adalah kerugian yang maha besar kalau tak sahur kat rumah sebab kalau tak makan time sahur, nanti adik2 aku yang tak puase (dulu la, sekarang memasing dah besar panjang, pehal nk buat gedik tanak puase plak?!) akan habiskan makanan sedap masakan mak aku di siang hari. Maka untuk mengelakkan kejadian sebegitu rupe, aku sanggup bangun sahur and makan sampai lebam time sahur. Padan muke dorang takde makanan siang-siang.

Lepas tu, aku suke sahur dekat rumah sebab time sahur ni je la aku nak merasa layanan istimewa mak aku. Wahahahahaha. Selalunye my dad yang rajin nk mengejut kitorang sahur. Susah woo kejut kitorang sahur. Memasing liat (kecuali aku) Sementare nak tunggu dorang bangun tu, kau terpaksa tahan telinga dengar bunyi-bunyi aneh (aka rengekan malas bangun dorang ni) lepas tu siap ngan aksi-aksi menggeliat lagi. Haa, bagitau, bapak mane rajin nak tunggu anak bangun sahur smpai berjam-jam? (OK exaggerate je berjam-jam tu)

Honestly, walaupun aku slalu bangun sahur, tapi aku jarang gile tolong mak aku sediakan makanan semua. Panaskan lauk, hidang lauk, buat air. Haram. Ya rabbi anak dara jenis ape tah ni. Yelah, dari katil aku nak pergi ke meja makan kat bawah pun mata aku bukak sipi2 je. Nanti dah smpai kat meja makan, kalau makanan tak siap hidang lagi, aku sambung lentok atas meja makan sampai la mak aku tanye "Kakak nak air ape?" Haaaa, layanan istimewa k! Kau ingat time lain mak aku nak offer ke buat air untuk aku? Time sahur je la nak merasa dimanjakan macam budak kecik wahahaha. Lagi satu time aku baru landing kat Malaysia, sampai2 rumah pun dapat layanan istimewa hahaha.

Then sahur sampai lebam. Kalau my mom tak bangun sahur, my dad will take over the job. He will heat up the lauk and all, hidang semua, buat air lagi kalau dia rajin. Have I told you that my dad is a good cook? He really is :) Selalunye kalau makanan tu tak kene ngan tekak aku pun, contohnye ikan masin ngan nasik putih for sahur tonite, aku selalunye bangun sahur jugak nak teman my parents. Erm okay, tetibe rasa syahdu plak.

Dekat sini, bangun sahur takde sape nak layan aku. Orang kejut pun nak tak nak. LOL padahal my housemates sume dah masak with my perangai yang memang malas nak bangun sahur sebab tu diorang pun tak beria kejut aku. Kat sini nak bangun sahur kau kena set jam sendiri, panaskan lauk sendiri, kalau nasib tak baik kau kena sahur sorang2 dengan TV, toksah mimpi nak minum air fancy2 sebab takde siapa kuasa nak offer buatkan air sedap untuk kau so kau teguk je la air masak dari botol 2 litres tu.

You might wanna ask, kenapa tak balik je rumah time bulan puasa ni haaa? Hahaha serious tak tau wehhh! Kenapa tak balik raya pun tak tauuuu! Tak faham jugakkk! Tapi cam maybe jugak I need my own experience kot berpuasa, bersahur and beraya di perantauan. Ceh, padahal bulan puasa kan sebulan, kalau balik setakat seminggu, 3 minggu kau puasa kat India gak. Experience gak. Hahah yelah yelah. Cakap la pape pun.

I'd sayyy "Saje nak kasi abah ngan mak syahdu sket aku tkde time bulan puasa, time sahur ngan time raye. Biar diorang rindu sampai lebam"

Hmmm, padahal aku yang tengah syahdu sekarang. Yang tengah rindu sampai lebam, aku jugak. Tetttt! -___-"

swinging bowl a.k.a mangkuk hayun part II

remember the series of unfortunate events on 16th July 2010? Hahah i even remember the date. i suck at remembering dates but this one got stucked in my head because it was one really sucky day. really really sucky lah kalau tak percaya you can read it the first part of 'swinging bowl a.k.a mangkuk hayun' here. dat will tell you the whole thing that happened on that particular date.

and on that particular date jugak, i kena amek gambar for my indian driving license. gambar tu telah di ambil directly lepas i bergaduh kaw-kaw punya dengan keling RTO(Regional Transport Officer) ni so memang tak kuasa nak pose ayu or anything. and i did tell you that i look horrible in that picture wahahahahaha. gangster macam sarip dol siotttttt! so this is it, bukti kemarahan i yang sedang membuak2 dekat keling RTO time tu, ni pun dah control sket, kalau tak memang muka sebenar adalah lebih horror. ready?

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tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

horror kan? hahahaha damn tak sanggup jugak tengok muka sendiri sebnanye but layan je lah janji siap jugak. this driving license valid for 20 years, sampai 2030 kau. meaning anytime after i graduate i can come back to india and drive sesuka hati. and it is valid throughout india, so it doesn't matter whether it's in bangalore, tamil nadu, delhi, mumbai, goa or kashmir. cecey. ingat aku kerja bawak lori balak ke nak pergi semua state dekat india ni? cukup la drive dalam bangalore je eh. paling jauh aku plan nak drive pegi chennai. eh? aku plan? or berangan?

and cukup la dah dapat driving license sebijik ni. nak buat license pun macam bala tau tak. tadi pun keling durjana ni nak pau aku rs300 lagi? dia kata itu charge untuk postman hantar license kat rumah tapi kat rumah tkde orang so kene return to RTO office balik. amboi amboi. memang mimpi indah la eh aku nak bagi kau rs10 pun eh. toksahla kau mengharap pape dari aku yang miskin hina ni (tp tadi dorg kate duit dah masuk yeay yeay!)

and aku takkan lupa nama keling yang aku deal ni. he's such a pain in the ass. yes you, LAKSHMI KHAN. aku siap dah hafal caller ring tone kau tau takkk! obviously bukan lagu english, tidak juga lagu hindustan, so mungkin aku dah terhafal lagu bahasa kannada.

p/s : bahasa kannada bukan la bahasa canada seperti yang anda sangkakan. kannada adalah sejenis bahasa di india. untuk makluman anda, india ade byk bahasa eh, hindi, tamil, telugu, urdu, kannada, malayalam, heh, ape tah lagi.

soal jawab annoying

aku pantang betol la kalau aku tanya sungguh-sungguh tapi orang tu jawab macam gampang. nak tau jawapan gampang camane? aku leh bagi contoh je ar :

Q : eh nak keluar ngan sape?
A : ngan kawan.

obviously la mangkok aku tau la kau keluar ngan kawan. dah name pun duduk serumah dengan member dah tentu lah kau keluar ngan kawan. and obviously jugak kawan kau tu kawan aku so ape ke susah sangat nak cakap nama?

Q : pakai cantik2 nak gi mane?
A : keluar

bodoh ade ke orang pakai cantik2 nak duduk dalam rumah. ni lagi satu makhluk bodoh. dah tentu ar kau nak keluar, tapi soklan aku tu mesti la sebab aku nak tau kau nk keluar pegi mane. buat perabis air liuq aku je tanye soalan kat kau kalau kau setakat nak jawab "keluar" yang obviously orang bijak pandai get it kau nak keluar rumah!

Q : masak pe?
A : ayam

diharap dapat la kan jaga hati aku yang pergi pasar beli ayam tu. soalan senang je pun pesal payah sangat nak jawab leklok. jawab je la masak kicap ke masak merah ke masak asam ke. goreng ke bakar ke panggang ke rebus ke celur ke. susah eh?

dah lah. hari ni aku annoyed dengan semua orang. paling annoyed dengan negara ni. agak-agak la kan nak blackout 10 kali sehari, bil letrik aku bayar je kot, pe lagi tak cukup dowh? ni kalah orang dok gua.

stress ah camni.

swinging bowl a.k.a mangkuk hayun

firstly, pardon my language. menulis di bawah pengaruh marah dan tekanan perasaan yang amat sangat. leave as u like, proceed if u want.

ini adalah drama keling agung yang dibintangi aku sendiri. tapi aku bukan keling eh. aku tercampak kat negara keling, tu je.

hari ni, tanggal 16 july 2010, hari ni pagi2 lagi aku dah stress. kol 6 pagi rumah aku dah takde letrik. memang jahanam punya negara. aku tak tau la ape untung diorang dapat with the frequent electrical shortage. memang panas hati gua mendidih2 siap. padahal aku dah set alarm kol 6 pagi nk bangun sebab nak study ophthal. gua exam ophthal siot hari ni, kau boleh bantai takde letrik sampai sejam kan pagi ni. damn it.

tkde letrik, fine, aku bantai tido sampai kol 7.15am. mogok tak nak study sebab tkde letrik. bilik aku dah la memang sentiasa gelap, memang siang2 kena pasang lampu. pegi exam ophthal, dapat pulak Dr. Reena yang akan assess aku. heh, muka dia je boleh buat jiwa kacau. memang tak cemerlang lah. tapi biar lah sume tu. salah sendiri jugak sebab tak pulun. so aku tak sedih sangat. tapi still panas hati sebab takde electric. cilakatos punya negara.

lepas tu balik rumah, keluar balik pergi RTO (Regional Transport Officer, kire macam JPJ malaysia la) dekat Yeshwantpur with Sheila. i went there to collect my permanent driving license. dah sebulan aku buat lesen dekat RTO. memang aku bribe orang RTO, aku bayar lebih sket sebab aku malas nak amek driving test bagai. tak kuasa aku. bukannya aku tak reti drive. dahla nak amek driving test tu nak kena cari masa lagi. aahhh, tak kuasa. i'd rather pay a lil bit more. (ceh bunyi macam orang kaya je) one month back, the RTO guy told me to come on 12th July to collect my permanent driving license without me having to take the driving test. tapi 12th July lepas aku ada exam, so sebab tu aku pergi hari ni, 16th July. aku budget memang semua dah settle. tinggal nak datang amek license je. because that's what he told me.

tempat dekat RTO tu busy sket. kekadang takde parking, so aku ajak Sheila teman. at least dia boleh tunggu dalam kereta if tkde parking. lagipun aku bukannye nak pergi register ke apa, nak collect license je, dalam 5-10 minit siap lah kot. takde la aku rasa bersalah sangat buat sheila tunggu lama2. aku memang tak suke eh drag orang teman aku berjam2 untuk hal aku sendiri. yes, good friends memang takkan berkira nak teman kau ke apa, tapi aku sendiri rasa tak selesa kalau orang kena teman aku tunggu berjam2 untuk hal aku. that's why i prefer to shop alone most of the time.

as expected, memang takde parking. so i parked the car sesuka hati and leave the car key with sheila. in case ada kereta nak keluar, sheila boleh tolong alih kan. so pergi lah gua jumpa mamat RTO ni yang janji manis nak bagi permanent license gua hari ni. sampai2 je, service memang sikit punya cilakatos ah. lembap haram. temperature meter gua start naik dah. hati aku kalau ngan keling ni, memang macam engine yg cepat panas. cepat je aku rasa nak melenting.

tak pepasal aku kena isi form lagi. tak pasal2 pulak kena lagi xerox(photostate) semua residential permit, passport, visa. tak pasal2 dia mintak gambar aku lagi. eh babi btol. hari tu dah bagi 4 keping gmbar kot. lepas tu kalau betul kena bagi another pic, inform la awal2, eeeee memang sakit hati.

rupanya tak dapat pun permanent license hari ni. the actual thing was i need to undergo another fucking procedure to get my permanent license done. bukannya terus dapat permanent license. cakap keling memang tak boleh pakai. dia ye ye convinced aku kata on 12th july memang aku akan dapat the damn license. bangang. cakap pakai bontot tak pakai otak.

first kena isi form, lepas tu mamat RTO ni bawak aku upstairs, kena beratur to get signature orang atasan RTO lagi, beratur panjang ok? lepas tu kena turun balik buat tu ini lalala blablaba macam haram, then tak semena2 the RTO guy kata aku kena amek driving test. aku memang hangen ah. dahla aku nak cepat, sheila was waiting outside, tetibe nak suro aku amek driving test. padahal before this dah deal takyah amek driving test coz i already paid him extra amount. lepas tu mamat celaka ni ye ye insist kata dia tak pernah maksudkan macam tu. kepala hangguk lu.

aku memang menggelegak maksima ok? tengah duduk ni, bila dia sungguh2 insist suruh aku bayar lebih, and that he never said such thing, aku terus bangun, hentak meja and jerit cam perempuan histeria dekat dia. padan muka kau. mata aku siap berair ok? bukan sedih ke apa. sorry lah aku nak sedih2 touching2 dengan keling eh, tapi mata berair sebab aku sakit hati tahap maksima, sakit hati yg maha dasyat yang memang tak tahan gile. silap orang la bai nak cakap keling ngan gua. gua dah masak dengan perangai kaum lu la wei. mamat tu terus terdiam. pakcik kat seblah aku yang tengah register driving class pun dah cuak. mana taknya, tempat tu dah la rata2 lelaki, perempuan memang habis ciput, tak semena2 pulak ada perempuan mengamuk siap hentak meja kan. memang bikin panas.

time tu aku memang tak reti malu. mampos ah nak kata aku gila ke apa. aku dah la papa kedana, susah payah datang buat license, kau ada hati nak paw aku lagi. hoi, duit yang tinggal kat aku ni pun belum tentu dapat support aku smpai hujung bulan ni tau tak?! dahla memang aku dah bayar lebih. memang celaka punya makhluk. tapi lepas aku buat drama, dia terus cool down, terus agree that i don't have to pay extra and i dont even have to take the driving test. tau kau nak cuak ngan aku. heh, nampak sangat motif kau untuk paw aku yang miskin hina ni.

lepas tu aku kena naik atas, amek gambar pulak. hangguk ah aku tak tau pulak kena amek gmbar. aku dahla memang pegi RTO pakai selekeh, muka sikit pun tak tepek bedak, rambut pun tak sikat bebetul. ah mampus. lagi pulak aku baru lepas mengamuk, mamat celaka RTO tu pulak memang kat luar tengok aku amek gambar. tak kuasa aku nak posing ayu depan camera time tgh panas hati. outcome nya gambar aku memang buruk gila. muka chronic habis. muka masam memang tak nak kalah. wakakakaka.

ok settle. so mamat RTO ni pun kata lah semua dah settle, nanti dia post the license to my house. hati gua dah tenang sket. ok lah gua nak ciao balik. tak kuasa nak deal lama2 dengan manusia macam ni. tapi manusia camni memang insaf sekejap je weh, tetiba boleh attempt nak paw aku lagi.

"madam, u pay rs500 for service charge"

saje kan tak nak bagi aku cool down. aku dah lek lok senyap kau saje cari pasal balik. kau nk duit kau paw la boss kau tu bodoh! aku fire dia untuk kali keduanya sambil aku terus ciao. dia cam follow aku jugak, ada hati nk pujuk rayu aku bagi service charge. memang cilakatos yang persistent habis. sepanjang2 jalan tu aku marah2 membebel2, memang dah tak rupa perempuan ah. tengah aku sungguh2 marah, bebel2, ngamuk2, boleh la kan aku terpelecok siap dengan melatah mak nenek. babun betol.

aku rasa mamat tu tahan gelak. celaka. tapi aku memang dah tergelak dulu walaupun aku tengah marah gila babs time tu. lepas tu baru pandai mamat tu nak ikut gelak sama. oh suka kau gelakkan aku terpelecok kan. ni memang situasi paling annoying siot, mana boleh orang tengah marah tetiba tergelak! damn ah! lepas tu terus kau diam tak petik dah pasal service charge. oh, considered done eh sbb aku dh memalukan diri terpelecok depan kau? babi.

it took me about me 1 hour to settle everything dekat RTO. rasa bersalah gila dekat sheila sebab kena tunggu dalam kereta for 1 hour. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa kalau tau sumpah pergi sendiri naik auto lagi bagus. tapi on our way back home, memang tak stop menyumpah seranah keling ni ok? tambah pulak traffic dekat mathikere time tu macam haram, lagi lah handal aku menyumpah seranah. damn ah.

i hate the person i've become. tapi orang2 yang tak pnah deal dengan keling india ni memang takkan get the picture of how sickening it is untuk berurusan dengan keling india ni. sejak dah 3 tahun tercampak dekat india ni, i've become a super hot-tempered person. super duper hyper hot-tempered. heh.

kalau one day keluar paper seorang pelajar perempuan melayu dekat india gaduh dengan orang tempatan bangalore, aku mintak ampun awal2. mak aku pun dah cuak2 kot2 aku get into trouble sebab she actually saw me mengamuk with an indian waiter time dia datang visit me in bangalore some time ago. tell u what, mengamuk is the only way to get the indians do their work right!!! i am still the same nice person whenever i'm home in malaysia. promise.

p/s : sheila pun pernah marah gila sangat2 smpai nangis dpn pakcik auto durjana yang nak paw duit dia tapi tak hantar sampai tempat yang dia nak. seee? i'm not the only person. duduk negara keling ni memang depresi tahap maksima.

Mokusatsu

Mokusatsu adalah sepatah bahasa Jepun yg bermaksud "to ignore" or "killing with silence". I came across this particular word in my TOK(Theory of Knowledge) class about 4-5 years back. Kau jangan tak tau TOK tu subjek kegemaran aku sebab aku suka cakap2 and bagi idea2 (who cares if ur ideas are craps) dan theory ciptaan sendiri and the best part of TOK is no matter how crappy your ideas are, they are all acceptable and worth discussing! Heeee.

Allow me to define Mokusatsu according to my understanding. The closest malay word that explains mokusatsu is "merajuk lama2 sampai kau rasa bersalah". Okay that's not a word, that's one whole line. Because merajuk alone doesn't give the same meaning as Mokusatsu.

For some people, it's better to remain silent than arguing, especially with someone yang suka ikut kepala dia lepas tu tanak dengar pendapat orang. Maka orang yg lagi satu maybe akan ckp sepatah dua ayat makan dalam and senyap smpai the other person rasa guilty and say sorry for not hearing what u have to say. Just an example. Tak semestinya argument, sometimes kalau kau kena bantai dengan bapak kau lepas tu kau merajuk senyap diam tak kuar bilik tunggu tengah malam baru pegi dapur senyap2, I consider that one as mokusatsu. Biar bapak aku rasa bersalah sebab anak dia kelaparan tak makan nnt sakit2 masuk hospital sume sebab dia bantai aku siang tadi. Hahaha.

Aku rasa i can never practise mokusatsu. Silent treatment wak lu la. Silent torture ade la. I can never stand silence and I can never stand a situation when myself is not heard. I know, the aim of mokusatsu is so that the other person feels guilty and comes back to you to let you speak up for urself, but call me impatient, I really can't wait for that to happen. I wanna be heard right away.

Apart from myself being irritatingly impatient, people will never get it that I am sulking. And that makes me wait even more longer for them to come back at me and say sorry blablabla so might as well fight for it argue bertumbuk tarik rambut segala at least both parties hear each other, done with it, and we're friends again. Rather than kau merajuk 10 hari, nak pujuk 20 hari, bincang2 lagi 10 hari, bila nak settle bang oi? Mokusatsu is so not for me. But it does work perfectly with some other people.

Except for my parents. Of course la, takkan aku nak mengamuk kat parents aku. Kalau nak kena sepak terajang zionis mak aku try la. haha. Mak aku adalah pelakon handalan terbaik kategori veteran sebab all my friends akan cakap aku penipu gila when I say mak aku adalah mak tergarang dalam alam semesta because my mum is super lembut wa cakap sama lu bila dia layan kawan2 aku. Hah, lepas tu aku la kan yang kena tuduh penipu.

Disebabkan perangai aku sedikit setan di masa muda remaja, aku agak dah rasa la keganasan zionis mak aku. Aku malas nak cerita byk pasal keganasan mak aku sebab nanti korang tanak kawan dengan mak aku pulak kan. Tapi paling aku takleh blah sampai sekarang was when aku selambe dek keluar jugak when she already said no(and that was zaman upper form). Ape ada hal time tu kan. Sebab time tu agak tak boleh salahkan aku la, I told her a week earlier aku nak kuar that day, memula green light, but tetibe on that day itself mak aku kata kau jangan keluar dan itu adalah muktamad and jangan harap nak dapat talian hayat eventhough kau menangis bagai nak rak.

Ahhh, nak kuar jugak! Tapi cakap dalam hati la kan, lepas tu terus bantai keluar jugak. Balik je rumah (time tu maghrib), aku tak sempat pun jejak kaki dalam gate, tetiba ada bijik jagung melayang dari pintu rumah, tapi aku elak sepantas kilat ah. Mak aku rupenye, damnnn! Sharp shooter baling bijik jagung wehhh, tau ah baru lepas makan jagung rebus. Lepas tu dia bantai mengamuk dari pintu rumah I was sure jiran tetangga dengar wahahahha I kept silent je ahh nak buat camane lagi, takkan nak main baling2 bijik jagung lak kan. Lepas puas dia mengamuk dia cakap kau duduk luar jgn masuk rumah and slammed the door. Ha kau, sadis tak sadis la kan. Nak masuk ikut tingkap mmg tak muat ah, so aku layan je la duduk luar rumah sampai malam. Nasib baik bapakku selamba rock, he was the one yg let me in tapi gelakkan aku sebab kena marah. Wahaha. Cis.

Lepas tu ingat nak mokusatsu. Memang mokusatsu pun. I locked myself in my room, tak turun makan at all (ok tipu, I did, when everyone fell asleep, tak pun mintak tlg adik amekkan nasik letak ayam 2 ketul kuah banyak sikit letak kicap jugak bawak naik atas) it went on for a few days. Tapi sadly mak aku tak rasa tindakan aku utk merajuk tu adalah comel atau menyayat hati, so dia buat selambe dek dia. Aku dah agak, so finally I gave up. Tau2 dah baik sendiri.

Same goes to my dad. Walaupun tak zionis, but jiwa selamba rock dia membuatkan dia mcm "ohhh abah tatau lak kau merajuk" so dia pun akan buat selamba dek kalau aku bermokusatsu. Dahla my parents are the only people I can't mengamuk with, thus making them as the only people I can practise mokusatsu with, tapi my mokusatsu will remain mokusatsu for years without them pujuk-ing me back 'alalalala anak mama merajuk ke meh sini meh mama pujuk'. Memang tak ahhh wehh. Even if my mom suddenly does that, maybe aku akan kena shock syndrome sebab macam 'is that even you,mom?'

Mokusatsu dengan boyfriend or friends? Memang tak ah, lagi2 friends. Boyfriend okay lagi kot, kadang2 merajuk la, tapi lepas mengamuk, wahahahaha. Tapi dengan friends, merajuk kee? So not me kot. Kalau aku terasa, it's either "cis kau takpe next time aku kenakan kau pulak" atau sound direct sudeyh. Takde keja aku nak lock myself up in my room sebab merajuk dengan kawan. LOL. Agak muntah hijau di situ. I prefer to discuss the argument though it sucks sometimes but it's better off that way dari kau merajuk and the situation keeps hanging. Annoying kot!

But amazingly, guys do prefer mokusatsu. Cam, 'lu pikir la sendiri gua malas nak cakap' tapi bila benda yg aku pikir tu tak sama dengan apa yg kau pikir kau marah pulak tapi lepas tu mokusatsu tanak ckp pape pulak. Igt otak aku adalah photostat kepada otak kau ke boleh pulak nak fikir macam kau. Speak up man.

Mokusatsu can benefit you, but most of the time for me, it worsen the situation. Itu apa yang aku fikir, suka hati aku la kan. Kalau kau rasa mokusatsu tu the best superb fantastic bombastic, go ahead, aku tak kata kau salah, ok anonymous? Haha. Off.



Sumpah time kecik2 I used to be jealous of this blardy kid! Amboi manja gila kau dengan mak kauuu, yang maknye pun satuuu, nak manje2kan anak lepas tu masuk dlm TV, igt aku tak jealous? itu pemikiran aku masa kecik. And pernah cakap macam ni kat my mom ;

Me : Mak, nape mak budak tu dlm TV baik gilaaa...nape mak tak mcm tu pun?? (muka innocent mintak belas kasihan dan perhatian seorang ibu)

Mom : (sambil layan baby baru - adik aku la tu) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (hoi ini gelak tahap melampau okayyy!) itu berlakon je laaa HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (sempat sambung gelak)

Me : (rasa diperbodohkan sejurus kemudian terus sedih)

esoknya my mom braged about my question to my dad and sambung gelak. Cissss!!!

p/s : tp aku rasa iklan fernleaf lagi satu la, yg ada dian p.ramlee tu. ke aku ngigau?

p/s : zionis pun zionis la, that makes me a person today. (walaupun mokusatsu aku selalu gagal sigh)

2009 is history

just a recap of what i've learnt and did and (whatever) in 2009.

• the fast selling sarees. the saree hunting, though tiring, was really worth it. thanks to those who bought the sarees.
  
• i'm outdated when it comes to the latest music played on air. haha.
  
• look doesn't count when you're in love.
  
• a good listener is hard to find (a good listener respects what you have to say and critics you only when you finish talking, and of course, in a good manner)
  
• we don't feel like an adult when we're hanging out with our high school friends. omg we're turning 23 so soon!
  
• my little sisters are officially taller (or same) than me. geez.
  
• daily school students really do think those ppl from sbp and mrsm are kampung, kasar etc etc.
  
• attendance commed is so damn low and i dunno how to catch up. hahaha.
  
• sony ericcson suck big time. haha.
  
• manipal students are cool and sporting.
  
• i never really listen to any microbiology lectures. sumpah.
  
• buying 2ndhand goodies is actually not that bad. you get to save a lot of money! but be sure the stuff u're buying is still in good condition.
• your result is what matters most, the fact that you studied so hard doesn't count anymore.

i thought i have more in mind but i couldn't gather them all at the moment. haha. happy new year everyone, let the past be a meaningful memory to us all :)

random things that annoy me lately.

1. bila orang perasan dia ada maid 24/7 dekat rumah and buat perangai tak basuh pinggan and buang semua hampas saki baki makanan dalam sink. like seriously, tak susah kot nak buang saki baki makanan tulang2 ayam ke sayur2 yg kau tak makan ke dalam tong sampah which is just below the sinki, tapi maybe kau lagi seronok kot tengok sink tersumbat lepas tu tulang2 ayam tu berenang2 dalam sinki. kalau kau yg buat perangai pun geli nak basuh sinki lepas tu, apa lagi aku yang memang tak buat perangai mcm tu? damn annoying man.

2. orang yang plan hebat and cakap lebat lepas tu cancel last minute. pantang kot. kau pikir kalau kau cancel tak jadi join ke apa, kau tak affect plan orang lain? kau tak affect mood orang lain?

3. any forms of oral/viva examination/assessment. because seriously, how fair can the lecturers be when assessing the students through viva/oral examination? firstly, different lecturers will assess different students. and we all know, ada lecturers suka tanya soalan senang ada lecturers suka tanya soalan susah, and their way of giving marks pun different. so tell me, where is standardization? lagi satu, the students won't be getting same opportunity to answer etc etc because some students will repeatedly get simple/short question and they'll get only a few marks and some students will repeatedly get long question and they'll get goooood marks. abis budak yg dapat soalan senang2 tu the lecturers assume tak mampu or tak boleh jawab soalan panjang2? omg annoying okkaaayyy! this is based solely on luck, oklah takde la solely, but erm, 80% on LUCK! this is why i prefer written examination!

4. orang yang cannot take jokes. orang yang immediately marah or menangis or buat muka or whatever when all i do was joking. it wasn't even overrated. i seriously tak tau how to react with these people. just forgive me for being a big joker. maybe, i will always be me, and you will always be you.

ok dah. puas hati aku.

highlights of the month

Remember the dinner at Baptist Hospital? Here are some photos of us and some doctors!

with ENT doctor yg sgt lepak~

this is Dr Jacob with his wife, Dr Saro. The Internal Medicine Docs!

with Dr Rani, the O&G specialist!

Dr Murthy the surgeon!

Dr Charion, HOD of Medicine!

i present you, lubang hidung Denin ;p

And Adam invited us to have a dinner at his place. Rumah Adam is super gorgeous! I was super comot sebab before going to Adam's place I had some shooting done, balik rumah took an hour nap, rush to Adam's place and then went back to Gokula to continue the shooting. Really2 exhausting I dun have time to do the usual routine in front of the mirror ;p So here goes the photos ;

Adam's nasik lemak

dah memang takde muka orang lain. hahahaa.

Gossiping!

All of us! Pateh, Eca, Bao, Adam, Ninot, Nadia, Nana, Afiq, Charles and Fahmi.

Finally, the hari raya Aidil Adha celebration! It was held at the uni hall, there were pertandingan nasyid interbatch and pertandingan iklan raya haji interbatch. All the persembahan were so entertaining and so meriah. Thumbs up!!

beberapa minit before kena halau keluar dewan sbb makan dlm dewan ;p

raya!!

the girls.

with Adam dear

in the hall

bout the shooting i mentioned previously, the shooting was done for the iklan raya haji. it was so tiring but we had so much fun working together. thanks to all yg involve directly or indirectly, yg kasi tumpang rumah utk berlakon, kasi pinjam barang for the props, cameraman, pelakon2, and especially to the editor yg tidur at 5am to finish up editing.

special thanks to;

cameraman : ezza, bieha, nadiah, baz, me myself ;p
editor : fien, dibantu oleh zahidah, nadia, bieha and baz.
suara latar : hadi
fikri : shahril
fikri time kecik : baz
salina : me
ibu : nonie
imam/tok kadi : hadi
ustazah baik : fien
ustazah garang : nadia tarmizi
anak fikri : husna
budak2 mengaji : ninot, ezza, faizah, aisyah
mak andam : sheila
salina's dad : dzola
salina's mom : ijie
fikri's dad : ijat
the boys : shazwan, imran, mus, joe, etc etc.
pengapit : aina and fareed
props and costumes : amy and alia and the gang
make up artist : baz and aina
org yg tumpangkan rumah : atiq and housemates, fien and housemates.

and semua org yg terlibat secara tak langsung jugak, sorry if tak termention nama korang. thanks for the teamwork. lastly, enjoy the iklan



p/s : my favourite part is when shahril termenung dekat tingkap and pusing siap ada lagu melayu suratan atau something? but serious part tu buat i gelak mcm gila!

a twist in my story

baru lepas tengok nur kasih! aww final episode tomorrow eh? can't wait though the ending is quite predictable. cewah. mcm i pulak producer. yes i mmg pencinta cerita melayu okay because i feel more on the ground, but please i palang cerita2 takde motif contohnya movie i'm not single or selamat pagi cinta euw buang masa aku jer tengok harapkan pelakon je gempak tapi cerita so the murahan.

i am so so so lazy lately. as if i was rajin la kan before this. tutorial and seminars berderet tak hengat. tak pikir test lagi, 2 patho tests coming up, 1 microb, 1 forensic, and medicine end-posting test. okay i don't wanna know. tau tak word 'redah'? yes exactly, that's what i'll be doing utk meneruskan saki baki hidup dekat india. (ceh bunyi saki baki mcm dah nak abis study jer, padahal....)

is it just me or am i really getting busier? okay i'm hating it. nak kata i rajin belajar tu mmg tak ah, but howcome org semalas i boleh terasa hidup sekarang amat busy? tu belum rajin belajar lagi, kalau jadi rajin, lg busy ah? tak mau boleh?

ni belum jadi gynae lagi, dah bising busy konon. mcm ni nak jadi gynae? haish. kena pikir balik nih. i might as well sit at home jaga anak and tunggu husband bawak i pegi shopping di hujung minggu, kan kan? kalau bakal suami tau niat murni i ni pasti dia ceria dan gembira. lol.

coz yeah, i'm afraid of busy life.

oh btw, i knew it from the start that i like dr jacob. i really do! :D i was late for medicine clinical class tadi pagi, well yes, purposely. the class patut start at 8.30am but i purposely woke up at 9.45am, and reached the hospital at 10.30am. selalunya takde class, ada ward round je pagi2 tapi tetibe tadi dr jacob amek class tak pepasal. being hati kering like me, redah je la wpun tau dr jacob mesti perasan ada orang tak datang class pagi tetibe masa present clinical case ade lak muka minah ni setepek, tapi takpe, layan je, kau nak marah ke nak berkata2 pedas ke i was determine utk tadahkan aje telinge. turned out, he was cool about it and i got my attendance. weeeehoooo.

but anyhow, i still have the hots for surgeons! ;p haish siapa tak suka? makcik2 kat kampung pon go 'wow' kalau tau jejaka tak berapa hensem tu pakar bedah, apa lagi i yg still muda remaja nih. ni bf baca mesti dia kata i gatal. hahahaha.

memandangkan esok pagi adalah kelas commed kegemaran ramai, malam ni i determine nak copy kerja sheila supaya i berjaya pegi class commed esok pagi. oh commed, cinta i pada u mmg still tak kesampaian, sebab tu i tak bersemangat waja nak pegi commed. tapi apakan daya, kalau kena repeat commed, mana aku nak cekau rm47k? life is cruel. pegi ah cekau duit orang kaya-raya, ni nak jugak cekau duit students. hish benci kau (to whom it may concern)

okay la, i nak tidur sat. tu pun kalau tertidur. insomnia ni suka buat i tension. time tutorial patho tadi bukan main i menguap mcm badak sumbu, time nak tidur malam2 tak tertidur gak. okay okay, selamat hari raya aidil adha to all. kitorang dekat bangalore sambut raya hari sabtu :D ok, tata.

i was.

once upon a time when i was a 44-kg girl.
HUKM - 2006
(admit it i was kurus!)

once upon a time, berat i 44 kg paling tinggi pun 46 kg.
once upon a time, everyone i met used to freak out seeing me so kurus.
once upon a time, i suka bongkak dekat rakan2 ckp "i dah penat makan byk2 tapi my weight doesn't gain a single kg at all!" dan mereka selalu tension dengan i.
once upon a time, i used to eat like pig every morning afternoon evening night midnight without feeling guilty.
once upon a time, i thought i can never have the hideous belly fat!
once upon a time, ppl mistaken me as an aneroxic. well, that was close.

NOW,
my weight is reaching up to 52 KG shit i'm going insane!!!!
i can no longer bongkak dengan kata2 se-annoying itu.
i still eat like pig but i feel guilty almost immediately (but that doesn't stop me)
i am considering to put an effort to get my butt moving but EXERCISE MEANS TORTURE to me.
i need not say anything about belly fat, it's depressing enough said.

IRONY,
i can't seem to control my eating habit.
i eat everything in the world at anytime anywhere.
i love chocolates and they're my bestfriend for life. (they're the one with me when i'm feeling down)
i wish i can do the running and whatever routines u call it in my dream and wake up feeling healthy and, slim.
no i don't wish to do anything about this. YET.

I NEED MAGIC PILL.

6 years and still counting :)

it's the 5 of us - me muz farah nad and ika. the road trip to penang was awesome. not really because of the places we visited, but because we get to be together again. things didn't go smoothly lol, a lot of unexpected things happened.

first things first, the itinerary says that we will make our way out of kl to penang at around 4pm, but we were 5 hours behind the schedule. ika was late because she was stucked with her lecturer (no ika no car no penang) and upon her arrival she was complaining about some weird sounds coming from her car. ok that sound mmg annoying and scary too. so we stopped at the nearest workshop and it was the brake plate (kan?) yg haus and produce the annoying sound so we had to wait for about 30 minutes for the mechanic to change to brake plate.

maghrib was approaching and we went straight to fatin's house in bangi. lepak2 makan2 solat2 sekejap and finally gerak to penang at 9pm! ok lambat tahi. my parents dah bising2 sebab all girls drive long distance malam2, parents penyayang mmg patut bising pun.


2 hours later we stopped at tapah to rest, recharge ourselves and yes, toilet. it was 11 pm when we stop at tapah. lepas tu tukar driver and terus head to the north. i was sleepy gila but couldnt sleep, same goes to farah. so we borak2 and nyanyi2 when muz suddenly bagitau that she just realized there's a persona car following us dari tadi. kitorang went to the right, diorang pun pegi right, went to the left, diorang pun went to the left padahal theres no reason for them not to potong us. then tah camane the persona had to potong us maybe because of the car behind it. realizing the fact that kitorang kena follow with that car yg ada 2-3 guys inside, we slowed down a bit and so did the persona! bodoh gila! semua terus terigt cerita scary nad about her friend yg pnah kena kejar with a group of guys dekat federal highway. gila cuak k time tu. terus tutup lagu, i dah capai kayu kat kereta ika and we slowed down gila babs and still the car pun slow gila babs. bila dah jauh sket sebab kitorang mmg slow down gila almost tak bergerak, we decided to go to the nearest exit which is gopeng sebab nak lari from that persona. seriously, better be safe than sorry.

lepas dah masuk exit ipoh, farah n muz pakai songkok so that people from outside igt diorang laki and tak brani kacau kitorang follow kitorang or what. lawak ok. ada pakcik siap tengok 2 kali to make sure if they're really lelaki. hahah whatever it is, sooo bersyukur that we finally dpt lari from the persona car. shit can't imagine what will happen if tak dpt lari. rompak? rogol? damn those things are scary.

moral of the story is, NEVER stop kat mana2 stop if u're travelling with just girls. u never know. maybe orang2 sekeliling time stop tu get the idea yg kitorang semua girls so diorang berani nak follow. cilakas betul. tapi serious takkan do the same mistake again later in the future. scary ok kena follow!!!! should have brought parang pisau and pistol kalau boleh. hahahah.


then we reached penang at around 2am. spent the 1st nite at wani's house. the next day baru masuk to the pulau. note that wani's house was not in the pulau. then the sightseeing began. bukit bendera, the temples, the fort, the FOOD, the beach and the pasar batu feringgi. semua sekali. layan. with none of us yg familiar jalan penang, semua depends on the map and tanya2 orang. ada apek comel (according to muz farah and nad) siap lead kitorang to the sleeping buddha temple lagi. so comel sampai nad orgasm (nad kata)




and then we concluded that penang drivers drive suka suki diorang je. the next day, ada this one lori simen recklessly hit ika's car. so stupid because the car was static time tu tau2 je kena langgar from the back. bergaduh jugak la after dat and the guy was so rude he even cakap bodoh to us and claimed that hes been driving since the past 20 years which means to say that it wasnt his fault. there's no use of arguing with rude ppl because he refused to pay the damage lagipun mmg rasa nak tumbuk2 cincang2 pijak2 je pakcik tua kurang ajar tuuu!


the accident won't take place if bukan sebab kitorang sesat2 nak cari lorong burma sebab tiba2 lepas balik from the sleeping buddha temple semalam dapat notice kena bayar parking 30 sen. hello boleh je kot set up a booth as counter bayar parking or at least pacak la board kata kena bayar parking so takde la menyusahkan kitorang kena patah balik to the place nak bayar parking. siapa punya idea tah stupid gila. dahla none of us orang penang, so mmg sesat2 cam haram smpai lori simen tu pegi langgar kereta. sampai je lorong burma, muz and me terus pegi cari orang yg letak2 notice tu and i couldn't stop myself from mengamuk to him. hahahah. lepas tu rasa bersalah sebab abg 30 sen (the nickname for him) tu diam je sepanjang2 i marah. sorry bang, i tak tahan ah time tu. hahahah. but 30 sen punya pasal kereta kena langgar, on 2nd thought, mmg patut abg 30 sen kena marah dengan i. i was mean gila kot kat abg 30 sen.

ok. mean girls habis ayat. tak nak igt nanti rasa bersalah. hahahahah. can't deny my habit bergaduh dengan pakcik2 auto dkt india and mane2 orang india terbawak2 sampai malaysia. if not i lemah lembut je kot.


and then off to kuala kangsar sebab nak makan pau sedap tepi sungai. makan2 lepak2 rehat2 kencing2 then terus gerak kl. oh lupa nak ckp kitorang check-in copthorne hotel in tanjung bungah which is just next to batu feringgi. sebenarnya sgt cuak dengan tsunami. dahla before pegi penang ada tsunami in samoa, earthquake in padang and taufan ke apa tah kat phillipines kan. dahla malaysia siap ada tsunami alert tapi tatau kenapa kental jugak tidur hotel tepi laut. pagi2 tu after ika and farah bukak sliding door balcony tuu, asal bunyi ombak kuat je menyirap darah terbayang tsunami sumpah tak tipu. ok gila over kan. tapi serious cuak.


oklah so i dah tulis the highlights. benda2 lain2 masa sightseeing, sesat2 and beratur panjang and lama gila nak patah kaki sebab nak makan nasik kandar malas ah nak cerita. so bersyukur semuanya selamat though pelbagai halangan and rintangan kena kejar kereta la, lori simen bodoh tu langgar kereta la, brake plate kena tukar la, tapi yg penting semua selamat.

aaaa cinta my girlfriends. 6 years and still counting. weh, lepas ni maldives mauuu?

p/s : whatever it is, kalau road trip with just girls, jgn nak gedik2 stop pegi kencing or berak dekat r&r tepi highway tgh2 malam. tahan je kot! and bawak je segala pisau parang kayu perfume pepper spray. just in case kan. we learnt the lesson, and sumpah serik. sanggup tahan kencing 5 liter ok.

p/p/s : more pics in my facebook. and nad, upload pics from ur camera pls?

branded little ira

once upon a time when i was about 3-4 years old, i remember i kept insisting my dad to buy me a pair of reebok sneakers. i wanted the shoes so badly that i cried and threw tantrums to him so that he would give up and let me have that pair of shoes. sadly he ignored this little kid's wish because buying a pair of reebok sneakers for a fast-growing kid is not worth the money.

i was sad. but i kept bringing back the topic to him so that my father know how much he break my heart for not buying me what i wanted.

after a week or so, my dad returned home with a pair of sneakers. yes, reebok sneakers. i was beyond happy and that was my favourite sneakers eversince. (hello, other kids my age didn't wear reebok sneakers, no, they don't even know what reebok is)

after years, i came to know that my sneakers was not reebok, it was rikbok. yeah, same pronounciation. that was when i know the right spelling of reebok. oh yes, the trick worked and it became a legendary joke in the family, until now.

the legendary story of branded little ira.

not with my rikbok shoes

now, whenever i go shopping, my dad would say this ;

"pegi la beli baju kat giant jer, standard awak giant jer, dulu pun pakai RIKBOK jee, stylo jugak"

sampai hatimu abah!

being me

one of the hardest things (note the plural) for me is to shop for my college attire. yes, those decent tops and loose pants.

because i can't help buying other fancy tops and skinnies and the next thing i know is that i have no penny left in my wallet. blergh.

i've tried so many times, and after so many times i still return home without any decent tops or loose pants. i'm sorry.

that's why u'll see me recycling my baju kurung and the same old long-sleeved (or quarter) tops i've been wearing for years (yes, some are even 5 years old, i kid u not)

afterall, it's just me being truly me :)

peau d' orange

we were discussing about breast lump in surgery class. u know, about breast cancer and stuffs. let me give u a free lesson here, cewah ;-

peau d' orange is basically a sign of inflammatory breast cancer. it means orange peel skin in French. when the skin overlying the breast looks like the skin of a navel orange, swollen and have hair follicles that give the appearance of numerous little dimples, it is called peau d' orange. u get the idea right? if u dont, go and google it urself, u'll get better explanation :)

during the discussion :-

md shah was presenting about the lymphatic drainage of the breast to the class (yes, anatomy will haunt u forever especially in surgery) and suddenly,

doctor : now tell me what is peau d' orange?
md shah : ohhh, peau d' orange is when the nipple turns into orange in color. ( menjawab dengan tahap confident yg tiada tandingan)

GOLEK GOLEK GOLEK. i can't even imagine! best lawak of the month! hahahahahahahaha

p/s : yes, md shah KMS laaaa who else!

cap ibu dan anak.

i can still picture the past vividly, and i still remember when i had trouble doing my math calculation during my school years, i would seek for my parents' help. unfortunately, 2 major problems with this are :-

me : abah, cane nak buat soklan math ni?
abah : (looking at the question, raises his eyebrow) erm...jap kasi abah bace soklan dulu.
me : cane ni?
abah : ish, ape bende ni? abah tak tau la. dulu abah blajar math in english la. apa ni? cerakinkan? amende cerakinkan tu?(ok i cant remember the rest of the mathematical terms in malay)

sigh. same goes to other science subjects. despite being an engineer, he can't seem make me understand physics well because of the language barrier. instead, he'll be boasting around with the fact that he learned all these things in english, once upon a time.

major problem no 2.

me : mak, ajar math ni, tak reti la.
mak : oh camni memule tambah ni pastu darab tu pastu bahagi pastu tolak ( mengajar dengan sepantas kilat)
me : (terkedu, trying to catch up) er, ok i'll try. mak, tunjuk balik semula?
mak : ishhhhh die ni kan @^%^#WER#%@ B^#^@%@%#@%^&((@$@!!#% kan mak dah tunjuk tadi buat camni #!!%^((^&$@!~! tu la kat kelas ((%@#!~@!~_(%#(%#(
me : (tension dan menangis)

well yes, i cried. and that situation is only applicable during my primary school years. ahaha in case u're wondering, yes that's my mom. she can't stand someone who is not up to her pace. (well that doesn't necessarly means i begitu lempong dalam math sekolah rendah it's just that my mom was soooo impatient gggrrrrrr hahahah) major problem isn't it. the same thing repeats when she teaches my other sibblings. i am certain that if ever she's a math teacher, she is definitely a scary one, i mean, really really scary.

things change. after so many years of not sharing anything ilmiah with my parents, well, especially with my mom (due to fear of another mental depression akibat kegarangan emak sendiri), i am now free to share (and yes, ask) anything and everything about medicine with my mom :) which is, FUN!

oh yes, i enjoy talking about pathology of pneumonia (which my baby sister had some time ago) with my mom, i enjoy talking about parkinson disease (which affected my uncle) in the car (with a drop dead silence from my dad) and i even text her about any interesting cases that i observe in my clinical posting. no pressure at all! i would love it if she can be the one who teaches me all these things in the hospital :)

how things change :) loving it!

today, i worked out a case of inguinal hernia with sheila. (sila google kepada siapa yg tak tahu). and so i texted mom.

me : mak, tadi kan kite examine patient yg ade inguinal hernia. ni check yang yg betul2 punya
kat patient. seb baik patient tu cooperative and slambe jek.
mak : eeeeeeeeee inguinal hernia! kakak malu tak? hehe jadi doctor kene la buat semua tu.
buat examination tu elok2 tau.
me : haahhaha xmalu sgt sbb ade kawan lain. mak tetibe kite rase nk jadi surgeon sbb cam
macho je jadi surgeon.
mak : takyah jadi surgeon, nanti too taxing. unless u don't want to get married! hahahaaha

er, of course i want to get married la!

si comel bersama emaknya

my playground (blah la kau ira)

bottom line is, i miss my mom. cepatlah RAYA! nak balik rumah!

usrah dari saya

tertipu dengan tajuk? lol. nak usrah meh sini datang rumah.

here comes one of those nites that i feel like writing. i am so pemalas nowadays (-_-") ggrrr pathology test next week, haven't started a single bit though i'm truly aware of the bulks of topics that will be included - banyak gila babinski. okay la i'm gonna start tomorrow janji janji.

been skipping community medicine class since ____ ? okay i lost track. haha. tahu tak class commed adalah lagi bosan daripade belajar geografi dengan cikgu lelaki tua beruban berspek bulat berbaju kotak2 berseluar singkat? sumpah kau rasa nak menyumpah masuk kelas commed jadi untuk tidak menyumpah dan menyampah baik kita tidur atas katil demi mengelakkan dosa menyumpah dan menyampah kepada cikgu commed anda sekian terima kasih. KENAPA KENE BELAJAR COMMED WEHHHH? TAK SUKA BOLEH TAKKKK!!!!

there she goes again, complaining kan. adakah tidak bersyukur mendapat peluang belajar commed? hahah, mungkin di hari kemudian, sekarang belum lagi. okay craps.

i miss home. i was in clinical theory classs when i miss my brother so so so much :( is he doing good? has somebody bought new games for him? did anyone bully him? what is he up to now? okay nak nangis. gila emotional tak tentu pasal. no u don't understand this feeling i have for him. rindu ahhhhh dekat amirrrrrr! huaaaaa :( girls, jage amir tau! tell him i miss him so much!

what can i do? i choose to be here. i choose to do medicine abroad. i admit that i do sometimes feel regret with this decision of mine, a procrastinator and a pemalas like me should have chosen a more relaxing course, kan kawan2? but thinking back, nothing is easy. jadi penyanyi pun susah jugak wahahhaha. i wanted to be a singer when i was little (dulu2 masuk talent time okayyyy!) okay berbalik kepada topik asal ye kawan2, now that i dh terlanjur (eh?) 2 tahun in medicine, i just want to survive till my final year that's all. it's too late to make a u-turn so i just have to go forward maka dengan itu marilah doakan rakan anda ini menjadi seorang pelajar yg rajin lagi hardworking dan juga cemerlang gemilang terbilang.

sigh.

topic penutup malam ini ; early marriage is really becoming a trend kannn! i'm hearing news after news about my friends getting married here and there. tahniah. i'm so out of trend hahahah. kesian. by the time i kawin nnti my friends ramai dh anak 5-6 haih haih. okay la, dah menguap macam badak sumbu, yes, mengantuk pun. dengan itu, wabillahitaufik walhidayah wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

p/s : RINDU NAK KARAOKE!! karaoke dangdut paling best dlm alam semesta! (sebnanye suara hodoh nak mamp kot?) TIBA2 RINDU PEREMPUAN2 GEDIK NI AARRGGGHHHH!

ku redahi jugak!

our sports day has officially started on jumaat malam sabtu! first match was netball, obviously la aku tak main sebab the last time i played netball was when i was in standard 6 and that was 10 years ago. so agak lempong di situ. tapi semangat tinggi menjulang2 utk support member2 batch sendiri especially roommate and hsemate sendiri (yaya and mai), so i turun to cheer for them!

i gigih gile cheer utk diorang wahahahaha, budak2 batch i yg turun pun sume cheer yeah u go girls! sakit tekak toksah cakap, jerit mcm nak terpelanting tekak tu okay. the competition between our batch and jr batch was VERY stiff, pergh ini bikin panas. hahahaha. panas tak panas, esoknya my class ada theory and practical exam for medicine.

seperti yg kita sedia maklum, exam theory and practical medicine mmg terkenal dengan sifatnya yg susah nak mati and lagi masyhur dengan doktor2 yg garang lagi scary the mary plus sarcastic habis so macam agak down di situ. niat di hati mase cheer tu cam, ponteng je ah exam nih lenkali bole buat betul2. mmg time tu 98% tanak amek exam 2% rasa bersalah 0% rasa nak amek exam. wahahaha. okay tlg jgn contohi.

bila tanye budak2 lain, ade yg nak redah je pegi ade yg nak ponteng je exam tu. antara orang yg determine nak redah je pegi exam medicine ialah bazilah which is sooo unlike her so cam agak terkejut lg terancam di situ. then bile habis match, balik rumah, selak la few pages of buku medicine and cam time tu niat di hati, okay mari kita redah exam medicine walaupun ilmu medicine yg melekat di dada hanya seciput nk dibandingkan dengan medicine yg as whole yg byk gila tut tut.

tp tak tahan lama, sebab penat jerit pening2 sbb jerit jugak beserta mengantuk. maka tidurlah i dengan aman damai and dengan niat akan bangun utk pegi exam medicine esok. yeah, redah! then bila bangun pagi, check hp, dapat msg ninot "ira, aku pass paper medicine kat husna, aku tak pegi exam". pergh, ayat yg sungguh infectious, terus hilang semangat bernilai seciput aku utk redah exam medicine. roommate dah siap2 and dah kejut2 aku suro pegi jugak amek exam, tapi time tu niat di hati cam 100% tanak pegi amek exam tapi disebabkan yaya cam pujuk2 suro pegi so macam, yela yela aku pegi exam theory dulu practical tatau lagi. sebab theory walaupun kau tak bole jawab, takde senyuman sarcastic dari doctor yg akan menghantui hidup kau atau kata2 dari doctor yg bakal menusuk jiwa. so okay, sebagai roommate bertauliah, yaya waited for me utk siap2 mandi ape sume and pegi hospital with her (sebab yaya ade scooter) dhla pagi tu takde electric, tp ku redahi jugak mandi air sejuk dalam gelap sebab tkde lampu and ni mmg siap tak tengok cermin langsung terus pegi hospital amek theory exam. yeah, ku redahi juga.

theory paper done. berjaya redah. no comment on the questions. aku jawab je ape2 yg aku rase nak tulis. then the scariest part, practical exam. dahla i only have stethoscope and knee hammer semata utk amek exam. tu pun knee hammer yaya (ok blame me now mmg i dun have my own kit wahahahahaha) time tu niat di hati macam, okay tengok dulu dapat patient macammane, kalau dapat cns(central nervous system) patient, agak mati di situ sebab cns agak byk examination and soalan mmg kaw2 especially bila kau dapat dr jacob (last time i got cns patient and dr jacob to assess me)

agak lama tunggu somebody datang utk bagitau kitorang which patient yg kitorang kene examine, i told myself, if tak datang dlm masa 10 minit, im going home. time tu dahla cuak sebab petang ada basketball match. okay kawan2, i mmg diketahui ramai sebagai seorang yg malas bersukan and the last time i bersukan was last year punya sports day yg cam tibe2 je main basketball siap main pakai jeans lagi tapi luck was on my side i berjaya shoot bape kali tah so cam bangga sekejap tp sebenarnya itu luck semata hahahah so theres really nothing to proud of. tapi cam this time redah je masuk basketball sebab cam tkde orang nak main so cam ahhh layan je la.

lepas tu dapat patient. i dapat patient dekat ccu ward and i was the only person yg dpt patient kat situ. praying hard that i dont get cns patient sebab i dun have the kit so cam nk cilok kit sape tah. then pegi ah usha patient tu. pakcik tua mr gullapa 70 years old who came with the complaint of 1 week of high fever, cough with sputum production, dyspnoea (breathing difficulty) so cam alhamdulillah syukur nikmat dapat respiratory system punya patient so i proceed. tak jadi balik. wahhahaha. wpon dah banyak kali berniat nak balik nk balik malas nak amek exam, tp berjaya pegi and done with it. yeah, ku redahi jugak.

then balik around 1130am camtu. dapat msg from baya kata our basketball match di cptkan around 3 something right afta netball final match. pergh. nak kene rush lagi. igtkan leh la bantai tido sejam dua before pegi, tapi bantai tido apenye, tak tertido kot sebab stress wahahaha. kalau kau mmg dah star in basketball, tkde la stress kan, tp kalau orang cam aku yg sports setahun sekali, wajib la stress kan. hahahaha.

baz came to my hse sbb nk amek baju sukan dia. then we decided to go to the court early, so mara la kami ke basketball court dengan menunggang scooter baz. tengah jalan, scoot baz bunyi pelik and cam tersengguk2 sket, tapi yakin kata ohh maybe sebab kita bawak air satu botol besar penuh that's why ada bunyi pelik and macam tersengguk2 maybe momentum air dlm botol tu kot cewah dan dan aku berfikiran fizik time tu kan. then tak pepasal tengah2 jalan tu scoot baz nak terjatuh diiringi bunyi letupan dari bawah. yeah, tayar pancit. of all the time, time tu jugak mau pancit, tak cukup stress dengan the upcoming match, tambah lg satu stress, agak depresi la. tapi seb baik workshop bebetul depan mata, so terus hantar workshop and kami meneruskan perjalanan menuju basketball court. yeah, ku redahi jugak.

okay dipendekkan cerita, kononnye match right afta netball match (which was supposed to be around 3/4) tapi sebab hujan maka basketball match kitorang start petang. (eh, ke malam? bole tak aku lupe?) and sila teka sendiri menang ke kalah. hahahah. walaupun basketball telah aku tinggalkan berkurun2 lamanya, tapi redah jugak masuk basketball sebab mmg tak cukup player sampai kene import budak netball. yeah, ku redahi jugak.

balik rumah dah lewat malam. sampai2 je rumah dapat tau my block akan tkde electric smpai esok pagi. apakahhh? penat gile rase nk tido smpai sebulan so i cepat2 mandi wpon kesejukan nk mati sebab heater tkleh on and mandi dlm gelap plak tu sbb tkde lektrik tp redah jugak. then around 12 camtu dah start golek2 and bersiap sedia utk tidur smpai lebam. malangnya dengan kondisi sedemikian rupa, i ditemani nyamuk2 yg riang gembira di sekitar telinge i siap gigit2 manja gitu sampai aku tkleh tido walaupun dah berusaha sedaya upaya! sampai pukul 4 pagi okayyyyyyyyyy baring tutup mata tapi sebenarnya tak tido! sakit hatiiii sebab esoknya ada acara penutup sports day + malaysian food festival so itu maknenye kene bangun awal and pegi tunjuk muka dekat complex sukan berkenaan tapi celah mana nk bangun awal kalau pukul 4 pagi baru aku terlelap. 4 jam baring tutup mata mcm bongok! i'm so gonna get some medicine for my sleeping disorder! walaupun begitu, ku redahi jugak malam2 yg suram bersama nyamuk2 yg riang gembira.

esoknya redah jugak pegi complex sukan utk beri sokongan padu pada rakan2 yg berjuang utk sukan negara di tanah bangalore. paling tak boleh blah, time acara tarik tali, tali boleh putus. padahal tali tu orang2 sini gune utk ikat gajah, tapi budak2 ni boleh kasi putus, 2 kali okayyy! adakah korang lebih gagah dari gajah? itu persoalannya. disebabkan sekarang musim panas and mereka pula bersukan dan bersukaneka di tengah2 panas maka sebagai cheerleader paling bergaya lagi gigih i redah jugak cheer tengah2 panas (ceh yeke?) sebab tu bila sampai rumah tengok cermin dah tak kenal diri sendiri sebab sunburn lagi. pergh, ni mmg kulit paling susceptible kepada sunburn, nak buat camane kan. ku redahi jugak.

yeah, tiring kan weekend i? sebagai seorang yg tidak mengamalkan active lifestyle, maka i merasa weekend kali ni cukup hectic dan terlebih active utk diri sendiri. tapi dah berjaya redah, and i have a few more things yg perlu diredahi dalam masa terdekat ni.

redah je la.

p/s : tkde pics to be uploaded, i didn't bring my own camera but my pics ade bersepah2 dkt camera orang tak tau sape so kalau ada tlg la upload kat fb ek, sape yg nmpak my pics in fb tlg tagkan wakakakakakka. kalau ade la kan. padahal tatau camera sape tah aku masuk.

own happiness vs the loved one's happiness

which one is more important?

each and everyone of us has the right for our own happiness right? but when ur happiness takes away someone else's happiness, what would u do? would u put urself first? or would u put urself down for someone else?

what would u do?

like adik like kakak

adik 1 : abah tanak pegi class la sakit tangan

abah : haa sakit ke..

adik 1 : (buat muka sakit sedih pilu dan segala2)

abah : yela2 duk rumah rehat k...

***

adik 2 : mak malas la nk pegi class byk homework kene buat nih

mummy : tanak pegi class make sure dok rumah buat keje skolah

adik 2 : nak buat la ni

time tgh ponteng - buat sudoku. +_+

***

pagi tadi, pukul 10am, tapi aku tido lagi :-

adik 3 : (tarik tangan aku tiba2 letak kat leher dia) panas tak?

saya : aaaaaaaa? panas panas. (bole la tak panas sgt tp sebab nk sambung tido kan.)

adik 3 : panas sgt keee?

saya : haaa..bole la (dah tau dah motif pertanyaan)

pukul 12.30, adik 3 tengah tido nyenyak walaupun kelas petang sepatutnye dah start.

***

amboi adik2ku, korang memang bijak mengambil kesempatan mcm aku. like adik like kakak la kan. patutlah korang jadi adik2 aku. syabas.

the songs that almost kill me.

these are the 2 songs that almost kill me during the muse concert live in malaysia 2007! hysteria and knights of cydonia by muse! muse was amazing amazing amazing gilaaa i tell uuuu!! what's with the statement that these 2 songs almost kill me kan? well i was in the front row during these songs. yes u heard me, i was in the front most row, just a few centimetres away from matthew bellamy the muse vocalist! and the crowd went crazy and i mean, really crazy memang sasau habis tolak2 orang wave mcm gila and since i'm petite (oh statement kedua mengenai diri sendiri petite) and small, at least during that time, memang lemas habis one minute i was at the right end another minute the crowd tolak2 me to another end and i tell ya, i gave up the front row because of that. if not i'm dead by now maybe sebab kena pijak dengan the crowd. i went a little behind *terpaksa* and belakang tu tahap kesasauan tak semoksya front row plus kat sini orang dia tak besar2 sangat so i was safe.

the point isss, RINDU GILA MAU SASAUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was looking at these 2 vids and i was like, perghhhh i was in there and shiittttt i misssss ittttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A LOT! this kind of thing works best to kiss my stress away! and yes it's proven already. i was still doing IB during this concert and in fact, i skipped classes for this concert and since IB is a real pain in the ass for its students, i took my day free from stress by going to this concert. heaven. told ya it works.

yang geramnye, whenever i'm away from malaysia time tu la ramai plak orang nk buat concerts and when i'm here, none. yeah i went to wyclef jean live in bangalore some time ago but that was in india, it's just different. eventhough time wyclef jean tu lagi ramai mat salleh, niggas and not to mention, indians, i still think malaysian crowd is the best. yes the best so far. or maybe wyclef isn't really my kind of music, i mean, layan la but i prefer something like muse, coldplay, linkin park, gwen, the frays, jewel etc etc. u get it now right?

oh btw, i'm all alone at home. yes. for the whole 2 days. my family went off for a camping ke apa tah and i decided to stay home walaupun my parents dah pujuk i cam gila ajak ikut skali but i just dont want. because they're going with some other families yg i'm not so close with, my sisters and brother mmg dah ade geng diorang, my parents obviously akan geng dengan uncle2 and auntie2 lain and obviously they'll talk about business la apa la obviously not my kind of thing so rather than terkapai2 sorang2 tkde geng kat sana i choose to stay alone at home. the best part is, my parents left the myvi with me!! yeayyyy~!!!!!! i'm all set to berfoya2 with the car to go anywhere and everywhere at anytime of the day lalalala~

later tonight, i'm off for a night out. tomorrow ermm, i've been sms-ing my friends to see if they're free so we can catch up with each other but nothing is confirmed yet. but life is still good even if i'm alone because if there's no one to go out with, i'm off shopping to KL. yes alone. u know, i love going shopping alone since forever. even in india, when i really need a retail therapy, i would rather go alone daripada ajak my frens teman they'll end up getting tired waiting for me in the fitting rooms and going back and forth to the same shops. yes that's me and my shopping style. the only person who fits my shopping habit is baz so it's either u see me going out with her for shopping or u see me going out alone. well in malaysia, i go shopping alone. not with my parents. not with siblings. not with friends. alone is cool enough i can spend hours admiring whatever i want without having to care whether there's anyone yg penat tunggu i ke ape ke. but with boyfriend is a double yes. heheh though he has to cope up with me going from one shop to another shop well, he's willing to kan sayang :p

here's another dilemma. u know i'll be having my first internal assessment after the holiday. yes yes blame the u-know-who for setting up such schedule. i never knew holiday is equivalent to study leave whatever malas nak marah2 kat sini kang ade bebudak yg pro-u-know-what ngadu kang tak pepasal aku kene pape kang kan. ha the dilemma is, my flight to bangalore is supposed to be on 8th of april but thanks to MAS, my flight is being put forward on the 7th of april shiiisshhhh but if i wish to go back a little later that would be on 10th and my exam will start on 13th so i'm totally confused. my dad keeps asking me whether i wanna go back on 7th or 10th. well i think 7th is too early and 10th is a little too late. one minute i wanna go back on 7th to study la konon but another minute i wanna go back on 10th so badly so i'll have more days in malaysia. help. i'm so totally confuse i don't feel like going back at all this place is heaven.

okay la, i need to take a bath. later ya.

p/s : nadd i do miss the simple plan concert tooooo i remember u were the big fan of it kannnn and yes we got featured kat melodi during the concert hahhaaha rindu mau sasau okay, enough said.