Thursday, April 26, 2012

laugh, it makes the world a better place :D

laugh your heart out
and bring good vibes to yourself
and other people

laugh your heart out
it could be the remedy
to your own misery

laugh your heart out
and ignore the heartache.

the mainstream definition of beauty

they say women are the most wonderful creatures ever created by God.

i have a firm belief that every woman is beautiful in her own way, regardless of skin colour, height and weight. varieties add colors to life and so do girls. you can't expect every girl to have flawless fair skin, model height and weighing not more than 45kg? that is a bit too mainstream to define beauty. 

i hate how the world is influenced by the rigid idea of being beautiful, that you must meet certain criteria to be one. i especially hate it when someone other than yourself tells you or indirectly makes you feel ugly about yourself when you are feeling completely good about your own physical self. 

i have nothing against girls trying to look beautiful. i myself is a beauty conscious somehow so yeah, trying to look beautiful within our reach is fine but what irks me the most is when majority of the world has a narrow definition of beauty and anything outside the fine line is considered ugly. 

trust me, i know it first hand that being the stereotype version of a beauty queen isn't that easy to achieve. i mean, come on, you can't choose your height, yes you can try your best to maintain a certain weight but you won't be able to control some other factors that contribute like, erm, genetic? and skin color, no, most dark-skinned people don't choose to be dark. but does it means you can't be beautiful without all these? 
every girl wishes to have a flawless skin but how many of us really do have one all year round? how many girls are bestowed with the perfect curves - big boobs and curvy ass? and what about girls who are stucked with flat nose, no eyelids, short lashes, bat ears, small boobs, flat ass, crooked teeth, belly fat, birth scar? are they not beautiful? 

and because of the media pressure, these girls would really go extra mile to fit into the "beauty" world. they will feel as if they are a bunch of ugly people that require urgent transformation and this isn't just beauty issue no more, it involves confidence alreadyyyy. and damn it, confidence is even a bigger issue here. 

to me, confidence is the best beauty tips a woman can wear. the best. but with the current social belief that beauty should be this and this, our confidence is slowly taken away. this is unhealthy and this should be stopped right away. 

why can't someone be and feel beautiful just the way she wants to? as long as she feels good about herself, have enough confidence to face the world, proper, clean and tidy, can't she still be considered as beautiful, (if not up to your level) in her own way? and i believe, just by being herself, someone is gonna think she's beautiful enough. 

i mean, other ppl around her don't have to push her or tell her how beauty is supposed to be like, it's not just annoying, it will take her down emotionally. mind you, physical issue is a serious issue to women. once you tell her she's ugly (especially if you're someone to her), u won't believe the things she'll do to be opposite and u (especially guys) can never imagine how depressing that would be. 

i hope most people will realize that beauty is just a bonus. nothing more than just a visual gratification. what's more important is your inner beauty, your soul and how to interact with people. there's so much more other than beauty, like honesty, being fun n quirky and being independent. that makes an even more attractive woman, don't you think?

so girls, if you're having this beauty issue, stop the worry. tell yourself that you are beautiful the way you are and you'll continue to dress up the way you want to (with a bit of latest fashion updates la haha), and put on just enough make-up to enhance your beauty (not to transform u entirely) and wear your best weapon, confidence. yes you can go on exercising/going to the gym/practicing healthy diet but not the extend that will stress you out just for the sake to be beautiful. please lah. baik study ke have fun ke apa daripada nak stress sgt nk jadi cantik. 

to hell to these people who tell you that you're not pretty enough. if they're nobody to you, let them be. if they're people close to your heart, maybe it's about time for u to realize that maybe, just maybe, there are other people out there who will love you and think you are beautiful just the way you are :)

nah ni je natural beauty yg termampu wahahaha. tak mandi with no make up at all. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

my overprotective daddy :)

i have the most doting father ever (yea lah i only have one father kan hehe :P)

and lately, he's being overprotective towards me and the other siblings especially the girls. he was not like this when i was younger but as i get older (older in comparison k, i'm still young! :P), he becomes more and more conscious and overprotective about my safety.

as a school-leaver about 8 years ago, i was allowed to go wherever i want just as long as he knows my whereabouts and with whom i went out with. driving the car alone at night was not even an argument back then, as long as he's convinced that i know the direction (if i wasn't sure of the direction he will literally draw a map for me, yes dat's my daddy)

but, daddy turned into an overprotective dad lately. yes, it is recent. he won't let me drive alone at night anymore (except for short distance lahh) dulu kan, if i nak pergi jalan keluar with my friends, dia kesah ape, "kau pegi la sendiri abah malas nak hantar", but now, he even offered to send me to seremban just for me to attend my friend's engagement. padahal dulu i dah jenuh ulang alik shah alam-seremban by myself when i studied in kolej mara seremban dia tkde hal pun.

baru2 ni i wanted to go to mid valley and and my old school in KL pun he insisted to send me padahal i was well-versed about the direction and all. but his excuse was, "i'm not worried about u getting lost, i'm worried if ada orang follow u or sengaja langgar ur car n turns out it was just a trick to do something bad to u ke apa". i argue la balik i said "abah, dulu i drive alone jgk u were never like this, and nnt i balik msia nk kerja i have to drive alone jgk" and he replied "yea lah dulu the crime rate was not as bad as how it is now, nanti kau dh ade anak baru kau tau how worried parents are" and i senyap. 

ye lah i have nothing else to argue. he's just being a father. a father who really care about our safety and i should be thankful for that right? actually, it's sweet. having a guy (in my case, a father) who really concern about ur safety, makes you feel like, wahhh, someone really care about me. 

in fact, he always pesan to me if i drive alone and park dekat basement, jgn balik lambat sgt or if balik lambat, make sure u have ur friends to accompany u to the basement (haha okay i agree dis part i'm a bit paranoid if jalan sorang2 dkt basement tgh2 mlm i will paksa my friends teman jgk :P), and if i were to balik lambat and some friends or boyfriend is going to send me home, he'll remind me to make my friends/boyfriend tunggu dalam kereta until at least i dah selamat masuk dalam gate (but i tak ckp la kat my friends camtu, cam pelik je wahahaha) and if my father send my sister pegi tuition or school, my father will always make sure my sister dah masuk kwsan skolah or kwsan tuition tu baru dia blah. 

little things kan. i know, but if fikir2 balik, it means a lot. lagi2 nowadays, a lot of things can happen in just a blink of an eye. though it's a bit annoying lah that he will bising if i drive alone n all, tapi i must not get mad because he did dat coz he cares. but of course lah, my dad did try to cut away a bit of his fear and let me get around on my own but he will always call me and ask me if i'm okay. hihi. 

mummy must be really lucky to have such a caring husband. i'm sure he did this to mom also :) my mom, on the other hand, is a very garang mother. hahahahhahaa. but he knows la my dad really manjakan all his daughters. the other day my mom said something like dis "kakak, u must remember tau ur father has been driving u around, taking care of u, nanti abah dh tak larat bawak kereta n nk pegi mane2, u must drive him, to masjid ke, clinic ke etc" hihi. my dad plak menyampuk, "kalau abah nk pegi concert pon u hv to drive me" hahaha obviously he was joking. nk pegi concert mende tahhh lol. 

i dunno lah is it me or is it my age but i get emotional when it comes to parents thingy lately. actually the moment my mom said that pun i was like, ''waaa, i swear i will drive him wherever he wants to go'' shit damn it, i swear i wanna be a good daughter coz i was obviously not a good daughter back then. good daughter mende kan sampai my mom had to cilikan mulut i coz i was being rude. haih. but seriously no more, i don't wish to hurt them even a slightest bit pun sekarang. the time left for them ni i wanna be their best daughter hehe :)

and the other day my dad said something like dis "nanti bila abah dah takde, bla bla bla" omg itu macam ayat drama kottt why do u have to say that daddy, my air mata bergenang almost immediately kottt. haih. kan dah cakap aku emotional about all these things lately. 

but yes, i can't run from reality. my parents are really aging. i hope umur diorang panjang, tapi we all know everything is already written, for how ever much time left for me and for my parents, i promise to love them and take care of them the way they did for me and my siblings. insyaAllah :) 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Setia itu Indah

some of you might be rolling on the floor laughing already kan reading the title, or some might ask, is that really Ira? :P yes it's me.

believe it or not, yes those words really come from me i takde curi dari any malay poem or anything. i can be cheesy or jiwang like that but call me whatever, i don't mind being myself :)

before i go any further, please take note that i don't intend to hurt anyone in any way through my writing, i just kinda feel like expressing my opinion (gosh i have opinions about everything believe me! ira's brain is always busy sorting things out, thinking unnecessary things and that's why i have opinions about almost everything)

why do i say setia tu indah? why do i stick to one person when i can comfortably lie and have 2-3 men at one time especially if i am in long distance relationship? instead of getting just 1 birthday present, i can have 2-3 birthday presents if i date more than 1 man at 1 time? kan kan? so why the hell do i say setia tu indah?

yes i can lie. yes i can put up an act. i can have one steady boyfriend and have another one as my scandal or part time lover without the other boyfriend knowing. i can do that. but i choose not to. to me, it's more troublesome. dealing with more than 1 man is troublesome, a waste of time, money and energy and it makes me feel bitchy too.

u know, it's fine to feel bitchy when u're younger (like if you're still 18) i mean, heyyy, life is too short not to make mistakes come on lahhh kan, too short not to enjoy, and guess what, i had enough of that. i'm 25 and i wanna get serious with my life. no more heavy partying, no more changing boyfriends, no more flirting around, just no more.

so, even if i can lie and put up an act in front of my boyfriend, like u know, saying that u're out with some other girls when u're actually in someone else's arms, it feels so wrong to do that. and how can i enjoy myself doing thing that feel so wrong, no matter how good it makes you feel, in the end u know it's wrong jugak kan.

even if u're a good liar and good at acting, and di mata ur steady boyfriend, ur relationship is really a perfect one, you can never be a good liar to urself. yes, di mata ur boyfriend the relationship is good, perfect, takde cacat cela, tak tercemar with anasir curang but u know it first hand that you sendiri yang buat the relationship tak perfect, cacat and tercemar dengan perangai curang u sendiri. and knowing that, can u still consider that relationship a special one? if ur answer is a yes, u're lying to urself, or u simply don't know what's the real meaning of love.

katekan la u hanya plan untuk curang temporarily, like, u promised to urself that ur curangness (haha curangness, i hope u guys get me) is gonna be for 3 months je, contoh lahhh, and after 3 months u akan kembali jadi girlfriend mithali no more curang no more 2nd boyfriend. is it still okay to curang only temporarily?

ask urself, put urself in that position where u yg telah ditipu, u punya lah cinta separuh mati dekat ur boyfriend and dia cheat on u temporarily sementara korang jauh, what wud u feel? does the word 'temporary' makes u feel any better here? no right?

temporary or not, cheating is still cheating. and if u really lah ikhlas nk jaga the relationship, no matter how many orang mengorat u, u will try not to get involved. hah. i've been talking a lot about cheating, tak ckp pun psl setia.

okay to me setia tu sangat indah when u're doing it with the right person, when the other person pun setia with u. buat apa lah nk agih2kan kasih sayang u tu dekat ramai2 orang? it doesn't feel special anymore kalau buat mcm tu. best sgt ke if u have to layan more than 1 man? if u have to manjakan more than 1 man? if u 'sayang' or 'abang' or 'baby' to more than 1 man? sangat tak best ok sangat tak special.

to me, i wanna fall in love again and again with the same person. i wanna give my best and my all and my everything to only one person without me having to agih2kan my kasih sayang dengan 2-3 orang lain sebab if i'm able to commit to only one man and bagi dia love yg paling ikhlas n paling suci murni (wakakakkak kau pehal guna ayat camni iraaaa), i pasti he will terharu and will sayang me back the way i love him.

ok lah katekan la laki ni sengal sangat tak reti nk terharu and setia balik dkt i the way i setia to him, honestly yes, nothing much i can do bout it. maybe lah i akan sedih n meroyan n menyesal kenape aku bodoh sangat pegi setia kat lelaki camni. but chill lah, nak balas ke nak kasi dia sedar balik tu bukan kerja i. tu kerja Allah. at least i will be remembered as a loyal partner and i did no harm to his feeling and i believe he will realize that one day n will menyesal buat mcm tu dkt i, and him, on the other hand, will be remembered as a total scumbag who cheated on me. and if you believe in Allah, u will believe that setiap perbuatan jahat mesti ada balasan dia.

cuma sometimes, take it as a lesson. kadang2 we learn it the hard way. kadang2 girlfriend/boyfriend kite yang curang kat kite tu was sent to us by God to teach us lots of things. to teach us that nothing in this world is permanent, to teach us to cherish our partner better, to teach us not to boast dgn orang2 yg kita ada, so, hate them for a while for what they did to u, but then don't forget to thank them, for making u stronger, for teaching u what life is all about :)

maybe if i were to write about the same topic 10 years ago, i won't be able to think this way. tapi life is a teacher, and my life has been a very good teacher to me. at this point of life, i belajar that it's important to cherish people that u love, bukan cherish setakat melalui harta benda and kasih sayang yg u tunjuk, but to me, to cherish a person means u will not let the relationship tercemar walaupun the other person tak tau.

to me, once u cheat, u indirectly take ur relationship to a lower level and u scar the relationship. no matter how perfect the relationship is in ur boyfriend's eyes, u can't lie to urself that ur relationship is not as perfect, not very much a fairy tale, not a pure love and not that special anymore because u are the one making it less special.

me? i'm a firm believer that real life fairy tale do exist. so i'm gonna stick at creating one :)) 

Saturday, April 14, 2012

the rare side of me

so i'm back in shah alam :)

i smpai yesterday, daddy n amir picked me up at the airport tgh2 pagi buta, mummy cooked soto today as i specifically requested for soto (mengidam begedil sgtttt so i texted mum ckp i nak sgt soto heheh), and sarah my little sister made me blueberry cheese tart sebab i gedik mintak gak, baby and aisyah pun has been nice to me, kak long even came bwk emily my niece today to celebrate me coming home.

so i spent the whole day with my family today. with good food, good laugh, good catching up session, good jokes n everything is really good. dear Allah, what a wonderful family u gave me.

looking at my aging parents, i realized i sygggggggg sangat kat diorang walau ape pun kekurangan diorang walau ape pun bad history i had with my parents, diorang penah pukul i ke maki i ke tak kasi i kuar dating ke tak kasi pegi keluar ngan kawan ke, at this age of 25 i rase i tak kesah semua tu i tetap syg gila dkt parents i and of course adik2 i n kak long i regardless of all the fights we had.

and then it hits me, sebenarnya i ada ramai wonderful people in my life, to be my pillar of strength, ni tak termasuk boyfriend and best friends i lagi. actually, i'm a very lucky person.

tapi i jarang gile nk ucap syukur to Allah for giving me these wonderful people :( and suddenly it hits me what if God gets really angry with me sbb i tak pernah bersyukur dgn orang2 that he sent me so he take 'em away from me? and then i get really scared :(

seumur hidup i, i tak pernah hilang mane2 ahli keluarga yang i sayang gila n rapat gila (yes i lost both grandparents already but i was never really close yg close gila to 'em) and i really really can't imagine losing any one of 'em later wpun i know the time will come that one day i akan kehilangan diorang jugak (or else mungkin diorang yg akan hilang i in case i pergi dulu) and i should be prepared but i really can't imagine living without my dad? or mom? or kak long? amir? aisyah? sarah? baby?

and talking about the person i love the most next to my family, P, yes i'm scared God will take him away from me by any means, like dia jumpa perempuan lain ke, he simply don't love me anymore ke, or death ke just because i lupa utk bersyukur to God padahal He never forget me siap bagi i a wonderful person for me to love. tapi in the end i lupa that i have to love Him more than any other human being on this earth.

i know i mmg manusia yg lalai n eventho skrg i ade kesedaran i can't guarantee kesedaran ni akan kekal lame sbb i just manusia biasa yg kejap konon baik lepas tu i might smbung lagha balik hmm. i just have sudden urge to write this out maybe as reminder for myself that i have such wonderful people around me n i might lose em anytime so i should really start to be grateful that i have 'em.

hmm. nite ppl.

Friday, April 6, 2012


I don’t quite feel like I’m a mature adult because I’m still a student struggling to finish my last 6 months of MBBS degree. But earlier today I overheard a discussion (and later I joined the discussion) about financial freedom. I’m not sure if people my age are familiar about this topic but me? Certainly not.

It was a heavy topic mainly about investment and how to manage your property. In short, it’s about financial security lahhh. Means people who are interested in this topic, their aim is not just to go to work from 8am to 4pm and then makan gaji every month. They’re mainly aiming to invest in some properties and gain side income (which can be quite a fortune) apart from just makan gaji.

Okay not gonna go into the details because I’m not someone who are well-versed about this so I really don’t have much information to share. But well if you have time and interest, this is something very interesting to look into :)

Seeing how guys are very interested in making sure that they will have a secure financial to build a new family with the wife (or future wife), it touches my heart. In the end, boys can really turn into real men and in the end, the center of a guy’s life is no longer just games, football and girls.

This is the kind of guy I wanna make babies with. At least I know that he won’t let my babies starve in hunger and will always have something to feed his materialistic wife. HAHAHAHAHA my bf is so going to pengsan reading this. Nah, I’m not that materialistic kan sayang? :P

Before any of you get me wrong, let me clear one thing. I never ever mean to say that guys who have no idea about financial freedom is someone who is irresponsible towards the family (or future family) because I believe that he must have other plan/way for this. Because the way I see it, financial freedom is such a vast topic.

My point is, these kind of guys (the ones who think forward about their financial security, whatever way it may be) are the ones that you can (insyaAllah) trust. Not the kind of guys who go around collecting debts. How can you imagine living with a man who has lots of debts to settle? I can't and I won't.

A guy with poor financial control is such a big turn off. If you can't manage your own financial, how are you going to support your family? You can't keep collecting debts because eventually the burden is not gonna be solely on the you, it'll haunt the whole family too.

So ladies, if the guy you're currently dating is the kind of guy who spend his money recklessly and the kind of guy who always want to borrow your/other ppl's money (worse if he always avoid to pay his own debts), you know you have to angkat kaki soon. Yes, soon. Before you fall deeper for him, which indirectly means you're falling deeper into your own financial trap. Yes.

This is for your own good. This is not cinta zaman sekolah where boys who got no money can also have lots of girlfriends, that era my dear, is over. Call me materialistic or whatever, but I have to state the fact that, money matters. For love to really work into something deeper and meaningful, money matters. (Okay I do sound materialistic already I might scare people away :/)

You don't have to be born rich to be able to be survive love. You just need that drive and effort to be a responsible guy. That's the main message from this whole lot of writing. Hahahaha. U know I can really write a lot to convey even a simple message :P

And this whole thing reminds me that I'm no longer in my teenage years and I only have 6 months left to enjoy my scholarship money and then I really need to learn how to grow money! Shit!