when silence speaks.

i feel so pathetic now.
i spent 1 whole week with myself and only myself.
initial plan was to go to manipal.
and spend some time with my bf.
but i can't be selfish.
his exam is coming up next week.
and if i'm around,
his attention will definitely be on me.
and i can't do that to him.
i'm sorry dear.
i might sound like i've broken my promise to u.
but believe me,
i only want the best for u.

and this whole 1 week isn't fun for me too.
i did absolutely nothing.
i spent most of my time sleeping, surfing the net, ym-ing and watching some movies and series.
and a little bit of cooking.
and i never stop munching my new stock of chocolates.
i even went out to the town all by myself.
purposely shopped for some stuff just to make myself a little happier.
oh happier?

i would definitely be happier if,
i have some happy people around me.
i have someone to talk to.
and i have someone who cares.

but,
someone who cares is really one in a million.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

u know i need u. :(
yes you, azar syazwan.

too many people around me but i still feel alone.

2 in the morning

i promise :)

i'm such a cry baby. benci.

saya malu betul dengan diri sendiri. tak lama lagi, i'll be turning 22 (argh semakin meningkat dewasa, sangat tak sesuai dengan saya yang masih comel ini-hahah muntah!) tapi saya still menangis bagai nak rak setiap kali berpisah dengan keluarga. sebenarnya sangat benci bila nak berpisah dengan family. selalunya, mak dan abah relax je, they never get emotional bila hantar saya pulang ke india. malu tak? mak abah sendiri pon tak sedih hantar anak dia balik india tapi saya pulak yang lebih2 tersedu-sedan. hahahah. malu gila. kadang2 tu, mak siap ckp "ish ape nangis2 ni, malu la" sambil gelakkan saya. pastu abah pun join mak utk gelakkan saya. ye, sila gelakkan saya ramai2. hisshhh tension tau bila mak ckp macam tuuu, orang tgh nangis ni bukan nak pujuk, lagi nak malukan anak sendiri ade lah. sila sabar ye ira. nak buat mcmane kau ade mak and abah yang kental kan.

bukan tak cuba mengkentalkan diri utk tidak menangis bila berpisah dengan family. dah cuba. sedaya upaya juga ada. tapi mesti nangis juga. kenapakah? nanti mesti pakcik2 guard yang jaga gate2 dkt airport tu tanya, kenapa awak ni? ada orang kacau awak ke? ye ini tak tipu. baru2 ni masa kat delhi airport pun begitu. pakcik guard yang jaga check-in gate at the airport tanya saya, apa kena nangis2 ni (of course la in english kan) pastu tanpa fikir panjang saya jawab "oh my family has to go back home and now i'm so sad" and pakcik tu dengan berjayanya buat muka kesian and let me in. 2 minit kemudian baru tersedar, jawapan tadi tu sgt pathetic and memalukan. ye, sangat malu dengan diri sendiri, malu jugak dengan pakcik guard yang jaga gate airport tu.

masa dalam flight pun sama. emo tak habis2. saya pulak gatal2 pergi tengok gambar2 dalam camera. gambar di bangalore, gambar di delhi and taj mahal. semua muka happy. i mean, sangat happy. pose bongok2 pun banyak. sambil tengok gambar2 tu, saya tergelak2 sambil air mata terjurai2. gila emotional tak? nasib baik flight tu kosong. 2 kerusi sebelah saya pun kosong. ok nasib baik. kalau tak mesti kena interview lagi. 10 minit lepas tu, mula pening sebab nangis banyak sangat. memandangkan 2 kerusi kat sebelah kosong, jadi apa salahnya kita gunakan space yang ada. betul tak?

apa lagi, tidur baring la.

and ternyata, tidur sangat menenangkan jiwa. selepas bangun tidur tiada lagi drama menangis lakonan diri sendiri. tapi pasti bersambung di masa akan datang. argh, benci diri sendiri.

Taj Mahal, the monument of love <3

note the inlay work of art - taj mahal

finally dear, taj mahal is here. i visited the famous taj mahal on 31st of december 08, the last day of the year. taj mahal really does wonders to me. i'm not trying to exaggerate things but really, taj mahal has mesmerized me with its bewitching beauty! it is simply fascinating. so what makes taj mahal one of the seven wonders of the world? if u ask me, i would say, the combination of its great architecture and the love story that lies within taj mahal makes it stand as the wonder of the world.

i super love mummy :)

let's start off with some basic facts of taj mahal. as told by my tourist guide, taj mahal was built by Shah Jahan (the 5th Mughal emperor) in 1631 and it was completed 22 years later. Taj mahal was built in memory of his 3rd wife, Mumtaz Mahal. yes, he had 3 wives altogether and Mumtaz Mahal was his favourite (biase la kot, kate bini muda kan? ;p) Mumtaz Mahal died while giving birth to their 14th child and during her last moments, Shah Jahan promised to build a love monument as a tribute to his beloved wife. and so, taj mahal is the monument in which the tomb of Mumtaz is placed.

love it when we get together

taj mahal was entirely built by white marble with inlay works of semi-precious and precious stones. in a glance, people might think the decorations on the wall of taj mahal was painted to give its colours, but the truth is, they are the semi-precious and precious stones that give out the colours of the decorations. no wonder taj mahal took 22 years to complete. it was a wonderful work of art, truly magnificent.

my 3 annoying but adorable sisters - agra fort

opposite taj mahal is Yamuna River. it is believed that on the other side of the river, black taj was to be built there. now what the hell is black taj kan? i'm sure most of us have not heard anything about black taj. black taj is another monument that resembles Taj Mahal, this time for Shah Jahan. instead of using white marble, black taj was made up by black marble and so its name. however, the mausoleum failed to be completed because Shah Jahan was then toppled by his own son, Aurangzeb.

picking up taj mahal?

since Shah Jahan's attempt of building his own mausoleum (black taj) failed, he was then buried next to his wife's tomb in taj mahal which is already centrally placed, by his son Aurangzeb. that explains the asymmetric nature inside the taj mahal. the position of his tomb is such that it looks a little offset from the center. meaning, both tombs are now placed in taj mahal.

the jewellery shop in agra. bye bye money.

now about the mutilation myth of the craftsmen that involved in the construction of taj mahal. it is famously believed that Shah Jahan got the hands of all his craftsmen cut off and mutilated so that they can never build any other monument as beautiful as taj mahal. gila kan? again, this is what the tourist guide told me.

very foggy and very cold - morning hours in taj mahal

i wrote enough about taj mahal. from the basic facts till the myths about taj mahal, maybe i left out some other facts. well, i can't managed to remember every single fact because my attention was more on seeing taj mahal rather than digesting everything that has been told by my tourist guide. but still, i never knew such details about the story behind taj mahal. i must say that the story really is interesting. mumtaz mahal sure was lucky to have someone who loves her entirely!

taj mahal the love monument, i want one!!

after visiting taj mahal, my tourist guide brought us all to this one marble shop. they make souvenirs like plates, frames etc etc from marbles with inlay work of various stones. yeah, just like what we've seen in taj mahal. they even make tables etc etc from that. the price? u dun wanna know. mahal gile. and they said the craftsmen who made all the souvenirs are the descendants of those in past(those who constructed taj mahal) we stucked in there for hours, and my mom bought quite a number of things. bravo again. my dad? he was praying hard that my mom doesn't get into anymore shops after this. hahahah.

at the agra fort, the ancient palace

done with shopping, we headed to agra fort. agra fort is an ancient palace in which the great Mughal emperors used to lived (Babur, Humayun, Akbar, Jehangir, Shah Jahan and his son, Aurangzeb) the fort was extremely huge and i must say, it looks really strong too! lots of things i can tell about this fort, but without the right pictures to accompany my story, i'm sure it'll be a boring one. so let's just skip the details of this fort. just one really interesting thing to be highlighted is ; there's a tower with marble balcony in this fort, where Shah Jahan was imprisoned by his son. the tower has a clear and excellent view of taj mahal. according to history, Shah Jahan was imprisoned by his son because his son did not agree with his father's act of using public money to build taj mahal and also black taj. initially, i thought Aurangzeb was being mean and cruel for prisoning his own father, but as a king that follows islamic law, i now think that Aurangzeb did the right thing. moreover, considering the nice tower that overlook taj mahal, the punishment doesn't seem that harsh anyway. it was more like a house-arrest, rather than being in the prison.

side view of taj mahal

finally baby, had our lunch in the nearby muslim restaurant. its mutton and chicken biryani was the best best best i ever had! rasa nak order another plate but the price was ridiculously expensive so abaikan. the video below is captured in that restaurant, these 2 performers gave a welcome and goodbye performance as the customers walk past the restaurant. yeah, u can see me and my sisters joined the dancing. hahahha. next, i thought we were going straight back to delhi but nope, got stucked in jewellery shop. hahaahahaha. i can't believe my mother turned into such a shopaholic during her stay in india. oh yes kerugian besar di situ. luckily, my dad refused to get into this carpet shop in agra, but not in delhi, they finally bought a carpet in delhi! hahahahaha. and sila imagine, angkut carpet bawak masuk flight. ye, sila imagine.

i hope u gain something from this entry. more pictures are available in my facebook. i've shared almost everything that i know about taj mahal. overall, my visit to taj mahal is gonna be a memorable one because i've never seen any building as beautiful as taj mahal. and i do believe there's something very mystical about taj mahal ahahaha yes i may sound ridiculous now but i dun care. seeing taj mahal from afar is like seeing another world full of fairy tales, take my words! oh am so gonna miss this monument of love. now, enjoy this video :)

rajashtan dance

day 3/4 : the journey to delhi and agra

as promised, i shall now continue writing about my journey to delhi and agra. on day 3, i woke up as early as 3 am only to make sure that i leave my apartment clean and tidy, and of course, to avoid congestion in the bathroom. by 4 am, we headed to bangalore international airport.
arrived in bangalore airport about an hour later. checked in. and we were then informed that our flight to delhi was delayed due to bad weather! argh, we sacrificed our precious sleeping hours for this? haih. thankfully it was delayed for only 1 hour, nothing more than that.

5 am in bangalore airport

the estimated time to get to delhi from bangalore is approximately 2 and a half hours. and yes, after that particular duration of time, we finally reached delhi. and now, another problem came in picture. it's true that the aircraft had already reached delhi on time, but the plane cannot possibly land on the ground because the airport runaway was congested with many other aircrafts. this was all due to the very dense fog attack in most parts of north india. and for this, the plane i was in had to bear the holding time of nearly 2 hours. can u imagine that? meaning, the plane was wandering in the sky for nothing but to wait for its turn to land. yeah, everyone in the plane was getting restless, especially the babies and the older people.

getting restless

within the 2 hours of wandering in the sky for nothing, of course, i can't help myself from worrying about ridiculous things like ; what if the tank run out of fuel, or the sky is heavily congested with other wandering aircrafts and for that, there will be some kind of airplane crash. and mind you, i was not the only one worried about this unnecessary things, my brother too had a scary vision of the worst thing that can happen during that time. thankfully, our plane finally had the green light to land on the ground. otherwise, we would have landed on ahmedabad as other alternative (that was what the captain told us)

i super love abah!

think the misery was over? not just yet. after we safely landed on the ground, we had to wait for another 1 hour and 45 minutes before we were able to disembark. according to the captain again, the parking bay was again, heavily congested with many other aircrafts so we have to patiently wait for our turn to come. oh yes, the situation was getting tense as everyone can't afford to waste any more of their time staying in that aircraft.

somewhere before we reached agra

after 1 hour and 45 minutes, finally, we were allowed to disembark. it was about 2 pm when we got to step our foot on delhi. we were 5 hours behind the scheduled time. how bad is that? and delhi was unexpectedly cold! the temperature was around 5 - 8 degrees. and we were not fully prepared with appropriate clothing! after this, u'll see most of us recycling our sweaters. haih. the hotel guy waited for us at the arrival hall and we went straight to the hotel. we were physically and mentally exhausted that day so we spent the whole day taking a good rest.

what sistes do best, camwhoring

the next morning, we left delhi to agra as early as 7 am. to those who are unfamiliar with the places in india, agra is the place where people from all walks of life come to visit taj mahal. it is 5 hours drive from delhi. on our way to agra, i came across these 2 young beggars. they made a simple performance and expected us to give them some money. poor children. but believe me, these 2 kids have greenish eyes, sgt comel ok! and i managed to capture a video of these 2 kids begging on the road. yg kecik tu very2 adorable.

the siblings minus baby

we finally reached agra somwhere in the afternoon. we decided to go to taj mahal the next day because it is always advisable to visit taj mahal during the morning hours. and so, we have to wait for the next morning to see one of the seven wonders of the world.

tell me, do we look alike?

am not gonna write about taj mahal now :p yepp, will write about it in the next post. that's why u have to keep reading! :D till then, toodles!

p/s : the bad weather/dense fog causes 100+ delays in delhi airport the next day, and even the train scheduled was interrupted. alhamdulillah semuanya selamat buat kami.

what does 2008 means to you?

maybe i'm a little too late to wish happy new year, but happy new year anyway. i didn't celebrate the new year. instead, i was sleeping happily in my hotel room coz i was too tired and sleepy to even open my eyes. yeah, travelling really is exhausting.

but i am welcoming 2009. i'm not gonna make another list of never-will-be-fulfilled new year resolutions. i dun see any relevance in that because if we really wanna change, if we really want something, there's no need to wait for the 1st day of the year to make a change. but different people look at things differently, so there's no need to argue anyway :)

btw, 2008 is over. so what does 2008 means to you? to me, 2008 is not really a significant year of my life though it is the year that taught me a lot about being a grown-up. there are not much of major events that took place in 2008, as far as i remember. however, there are some to be cherished, and to be remembered ;

1. car accident in klang (otw to meru) - 3rd january 2008

sile gelakkan saya. hahahh. this was my first ever car accident, after a few years of holding a full driving license (not that bad la kan? ;p) the accident took place just before the toll to meru. this is all due to my attempt to find a shortcut to my house and to skip the toll. i was kinda lost because i usually follow another route, just when i was wandering around, my mind gave a sudden impulse to make a u-turn just before the toll and unfortunate for me, the speeding lorry behind my car made an emergency brake and finally hit my car. i thought i was gonna die! i had a major tremors as soon as my car was crashed by the lorry. and the lorry was terbalik sideways ( i hope u can imagine) but thank god the driver was still alive. and of course, my car was badly damaged - cermin blakang pecah, roof kemek, blakang mmg kemek hancur, pintu takleh bukak etc etc - and i bear all the cost of damage. thanks to duit MARA. hahahha. all in all, it was a 'wonderful' experience.

2. my birthday with my dearie

lucky for me, my boyf was there to celebrate my 21st birthday together with me. he rent a car and took me out for dinner on my birthday night. then, we spent the rest of the night looking at the stars from the rooftop :) presents? he got me a dress, a limited edition body butter by body shop, a cute keychain and a watch by guess. thanks dear :)

3. mumbai trip

this was a really adventurous one. there were 4 of us, me, nana, baz and sanjay. we went to mumbai by train which took us nearly 23 hours and back to bangalore, still by train. a total sum of 46 hours in train, cool enough? we went there all on our own, no tourist guide no nothing :) and still, we had the best time of our life in mumbai. we met lots of interesting people ; jamie the mexican guy and nilesh the orthopaedic specialist whom we hang out with for the whole 2 weeks in mumbai.

4. the mystical taj mahal

on the last day of the year, 31st december. more about it in the upcoming posts :)

other things happened to me in 2008 are tiny little things which you dun wanna know. all in all, i hope 2009 brings more surprises and happiness to me, and to all of us. happy new year to all once again :)

day 2 : shopping + baby's leaving :(

very very late update! i know! i just got back from delhi last nite. taj mahal was fascinating, mesmerizing, mystical, beautiful and wonderful. just like what we usually see in fairy tale. okay, that's all about taj mahal, i'm gonna write more about taj mahal when the pictures are ready to be uploaded :D

day 2 has nothing really interesting to be highlighted. just a continuation of day 1, yes, shopping. the girls shopped for earrings, bangles, indian skirts etc etc. my mom bought skirts for herself and also her friends. yeah, they're still very young at heart hahah. however, my mom prefers commercial street. she finds MG road a little too boring, maybe because MG road is packed with branded outlets which can easily be found in malaysia.

at the end of the day, my baby has to go home :( sad sad. after having dinner at my apartment, he had to make a move, to catch up with the bus to manipal. hmmpphhh. and all of us went to bed early because we need to go to the airport as early as 4 am in the morning the next day.

these are some of the pictures of day 2. enjoy!

in front of my apartment

jahanam la bilik akuuuuu.

auto ride - amir, kak long and little dinosour!

dinner at my apartment

daddy, aisyah and baby

the girls looking for earrings

me and little sister aisyah

auto ride

little dinosour!