Setia itu Indah

some of you might be rolling on the floor laughing already kan reading the title, or some might ask, is that really Ira? :P yes it's me.

believe it or not, yes those words really come from me i takde curi dari any malay poem or anything. i can be cheesy or jiwang like that but call me whatever, i don't mind being myself :)

before i go any further, please take note that i don't intend to hurt anyone in any way through my writing, i just kinda feel like expressing my opinion (gosh i have opinions about everything believe me! ira's brain is always busy sorting things out, thinking unnecessary things and that's why i have opinions about almost everything)

why do i say setia tu indah? why do i stick to one person when i can comfortably lie and have 2-3 men at one time especially if i am in long distance relationship? instead of getting just 1 birthday present, i can have 2-3 birthday presents if i date more than 1 man at 1 time? kan kan? so why the hell do i say setia tu indah?

yes i can lie. yes i can put up an act. i can have one steady boyfriend and have another one as my scandal or part time lover without the other boyfriend knowing. i can do that. but i choose not to. to me, it's more troublesome. dealing with more than 1 man is troublesome, a waste of time, money and energy and it makes me feel bitchy too.

u know, it's fine to feel bitchy when u're younger (like if you're still 18) i mean, heyyy, life is too short not to make mistakes come on lahhh kan, too short not to enjoy, and guess what, i had enough of that. i'm 25 and i wanna get serious with my life. no more heavy partying, no more changing boyfriends, no more flirting around, just no more.

so, even if i can lie and put up an act in front of my boyfriend, like u know, saying that u're out with some other girls when u're actually in someone else's arms, it feels so wrong to do that. and how can i enjoy myself doing thing that feel so wrong, no matter how good it makes you feel, in the end u know it's wrong jugak kan.

even if u're a good liar and good at acting, and di mata ur steady boyfriend, ur relationship is really a perfect one, you can never be a good liar to urself. yes, di mata ur boyfriend the relationship is good, perfect, takde cacat cela, tak tercemar with anasir curang but u know it first hand that you sendiri yang buat the relationship tak perfect, cacat and tercemar dengan perangai curang u sendiri. and knowing that, can u still consider that relationship a special one? if ur answer is a yes, u're lying to urself, or u simply don't know what's the real meaning of love.

katekan la u hanya plan untuk curang temporarily, like, u promised to urself that ur curangness (haha curangness, i hope u guys get me) is gonna be for 3 months je, contoh lahhh, and after 3 months u akan kembali jadi girlfriend mithali no more curang no more 2nd boyfriend. is it still okay to curang only temporarily?

ask urself, put urself in that position where u yg telah ditipu, u punya lah cinta separuh mati dekat ur boyfriend and dia cheat on u temporarily sementara korang jauh, what wud u feel? does the word 'temporary' makes u feel any better here? no right?

temporary or not, cheating is still cheating. and if u really lah ikhlas nk jaga the relationship, no matter how many orang mengorat u, u will try not to get involved. hah. i've been talking a lot about cheating, tak ckp pun psl setia.

okay to me setia tu sangat indah when u're doing it with the right person, when the other person pun setia with u. buat apa lah nk agih2kan kasih sayang u tu dekat ramai2 orang? it doesn't feel special anymore kalau buat mcm tu. best sgt ke if u have to layan more than 1 man? if u have to manjakan more than 1 man? if u 'sayang' or 'abang' or 'baby' to more than 1 man? sangat tak best ok sangat tak special.

to me, i wanna fall in love again and again with the same person. i wanna give my best and my all and my everything to only one person without me having to agih2kan my kasih sayang dengan 2-3 orang lain sebab if i'm able to commit to only one man and bagi dia love yg paling ikhlas n paling suci murni (wakakakkak kau pehal guna ayat camni iraaaa), i pasti he will terharu and will sayang me back the way i love him.

ok lah katekan la laki ni sengal sangat tak reti nk terharu and setia balik dkt i the way i setia to him, honestly yes, nothing much i can do bout it. maybe lah i akan sedih n meroyan n menyesal kenape aku bodoh sangat pegi setia kat lelaki camni. but chill lah, nak balas ke nak kasi dia sedar balik tu bukan kerja i. tu kerja Allah. at least i will be remembered as a loyal partner and i did no harm to his feeling and i believe he will realize that one day n will menyesal buat mcm tu dkt i, and him, on the other hand, will be remembered as a total scumbag who cheated on me. and if you believe in Allah, u will believe that setiap perbuatan jahat mesti ada balasan dia.

cuma sometimes, take it as a lesson. kadang2 we learn it the hard way. kadang2 girlfriend/boyfriend kite yang curang kat kite tu was sent to us by God to teach us lots of things. to teach us that nothing in this world is permanent, to teach us to cherish our partner better, to teach us not to boast dgn orang2 yg kita ada, so, hate them for a while for what they did to u, but then don't forget to thank them, for making u stronger, for teaching u what life is all about :)

maybe if i were to write about the same topic 10 years ago, i won't be able to think this way. tapi life is a teacher, and my life has been a very good teacher to me. at this point of life, i belajar that it's important to cherish people that u love, bukan cherish setakat melalui harta benda and kasih sayang yg u tunjuk, but to me, to cherish a person means u will not let the relationship tercemar walaupun the other person tak tau.

to me, once u cheat, u indirectly take ur relationship to a lower level and u scar the relationship. no matter how perfect the relationship is in ur boyfriend's eyes, u can't lie to urself that ur relationship is not as perfect, not very much a fairy tale, not a pure love and not that special anymore because u are the one making it less special.

me? i'm a firm believer that real life fairy tale do exist. so i'm gonna stick at creating one :)) 

the rare side of me

so i'm back in shah alam :)

i smpai yesterday, daddy n amir picked me up at the airport tgh2 pagi buta, mummy cooked soto today as i specifically requested for soto (mengidam begedil sgtttt so i texted mum ckp i nak sgt soto heheh), and sarah my little sister made me blueberry cheese tart sebab i gedik mintak gak, baby and aisyah pun has been nice to me, kak long even came bwk emily my niece today to celebrate me coming home.

so i spent the whole day with my family today. with good food, good laugh, good catching up session, good jokes n everything is really good. dear Allah, what a wonderful family u gave me.

looking at my aging parents, i realized i sygggggggg sangat kat diorang walau ape pun kekurangan diorang walau ape pun bad history i had with my parents, diorang penah pukul i ke maki i ke tak kasi i kuar dating ke tak kasi pegi keluar ngan kawan ke, at this age of 25 i rase i tak kesah semua tu i tetap syg gila dkt parents i and of course adik2 i n kak long i regardless of all the fights we had.

and then it hits me, sebenarnya i ada ramai wonderful people in my life, to be my pillar of strength, ni tak termasuk boyfriend and best friends i lagi. actually, i'm a very lucky person.

tapi i jarang gile nk ucap syukur to Allah for giving me these wonderful people :( and suddenly it hits me what if God gets really angry with me sbb i tak pernah bersyukur dgn orang2 that he sent me so he take 'em away from me? and then i get really scared :(

seumur hidup i, i tak pernah hilang mane2 ahli keluarga yang i sayang gila n rapat gila (yes i lost both grandparents already but i was never really close yg close gila to 'em) and i really really can't imagine losing any one of 'em later wpun i know the time will come that one day i akan kehilangan diorang jugak (or else mungkin diorang yg akan hilang i in case i pergi dulu) and i should be prepared but i really can't imagine living without my dad? or mom? or kak long? amir? aisyah? sarah? baby?

and talking about the person i love the most next to my family, P, yes i'm scared God will take him away from me by any means, like dia jumpa perempuan lain ke, he simply don't love me anymore ke, or death ke just because i lupa utk bersyukur to God padahal He never forget me siap bagi i a wonderful person for me to love. tapi in the end i lupa that i have to love Him more than any other human being on this earth.

i know i mmg manusia yg lalai n eventho skrg i ade kesedaran i can't guarantee kesedaran ni akan kekal lame sbb i just manusia biasa yg kejap konon baik lepas tu i might smbung lagha balik hmm. i just have sudden urge to write this out maybe as reminder for myself that i have such wonderful people around me n i might lose em anytime so i should really start to be grateful that i have 'em.

hmm. nite ppl.

IRA, Y U GROW UP SO FAST?

I don’t quite feel like I’m a mature adult because I’m still a student struggling to finish my last 6 months of MBBS degree. But earlier today I overheard a discussion (and later I joined the discussion) about financial freedom. I’m not sure if people my age are familiar about this topic but me? Certainly not.

It was a heavy topic mainly about investment and how to manage your property. In short, it’s about financial security lahhh. Means people who are interested in this topic, their aim is not just to go to work from 8am to 4pm and then makan gaji every month. They’re mainly aiming to invest in some properties and gain side income (which can be quite a fortune) apart from just makan gaji.

Okay not gonna go into the details because I’m not someone who are well-versed about this so I really don’t have much information to share. But well if you have time and interest, this is something very interesting to look into :)

Seeing how guys are very interested in making sure that they will have a secure financial to build a new family with the wife (or future wife), it touches my heart. In the end, boys can really turn into real men and in the end, the center of a guy’s life is no longer just games, football and girls.

This is the kind of guy I wanna make babies with. At least I know that he won’t let my babies starve in hunger and will always have something to feed his materialistic wife. HAHAHAHAHA my bf is so going to pengsan reading this. Nah, I’m not that materialistic kan sayang? :P

Before any of you get me wrong, let me clear one thing. I never ever mean to say that guys who have no idea about financial freedom is someone who is irresponsible towards the family (or future family) because I believe that he must have other plan/way for this. Because the way I see it, financial freedom is such a vast topic.

My point is, these kind of guys (the ones who think forward about their financial security, whatever way it may be) are the ones that you can (insyaAllah) trust. Not the kind of guys who go around collecting debts. How can you imagine living with a man who has lots of debts to settle? I can't and I won't.

A guy with poor financial control is such a big turn off. If you can't manage your own financial, how are you going to support your family? You can't keep collecting debts because eventually the burden is not gonna be solely on the you, it'll haunt the whole family too.

So ladies, if the guy you're currently dating is the kind of guy who spend his money recklessly and the kind of guy who always want to borrow your/other ppl's money (worse if he always avoid to pay his own debts), you know you have to angkat kaki soon. Yes, soon. Before you fall deeper for him, which indirectly means you're falling deeper into your own financial trap. Yes.

This is for your own good. This is not cinta zaman sekolah where boys who got no money can also have lots of girlfriends, that era my dear, is over. Call me materialistic or whatever, but I have to state the fact that, money matters. For love to really work into something deeper and meaningful, money matters. (Okay I do sound materialistic already I might scare people away :/)

You don't have to be born rich to be able to be survive love. You just need that drive and effort to be a responsible guy. That's the main message from this whole lot of writing. Hahahaha. U know I can really write a lot to convey even a simple message :P

And this whole thing reminds me that I'm no longer in my teenage years and I only have 6 months left to enjoy my scholarship money and then I really need to learn how to grow money! Shit!

IRA Y U GROW UP SO FAST? -_____-"

finally, forever alone.

hahahah title saje nk kasi effect drama, tkdelah forever alone pon sebenarnya hihiks. yelah, a girl without drama is not a real girl kannn so to prove that i'm a real girl i must create drama la jugak hihiks *sarcasm*

the real title should be, finally i get to have my own room in india. finally get to have some personal time alone hihiks. this is not so new, i shifted to another house to finally get my own room yeayyy, about 5 months ago. okay dah lame sape suruh malas update blog kan tapi takpe sementara tengah galak nk menulis again ni i will post whatever lahhh. nak pics? pon boleh. *padahal dah tkde sape pun bace blog kau ira oi*

so anyway, i have no problem pun with my former roommate, in fact, she's by far the best roommate i ever had. we stayed together for more than 3 years kot. she was a reallyyyy close friend of mine kat KMS lagi. heee, i'm talking bout yaya.

i think she knows me inside out. we may have terasa or get annoyed about this and that la kekadang, biase la tu bukan senang nk hidup sebilik dengan orang kan tapi we can really tolerate with each other. mane kau nak dapat roommate yang boleh tolerate ur time tido semua, the noise u make, sometimes kalau tgh time depress tu dia jugak yang dok tanye 'kau ni apesal?', tahan sakit mata tengok aku nak bersiap lagi. hah, can really be an eyesore sbb i keep changing baju everytime bersiap nak keluar and everytime pun yaya will be like "tadi bukan kau dh siap pakai baju lain ke?" HAHAHAHAHHAA.

and the noise i make everytime study i suke melalak nyanyi sebab bila dah sumbat telinga ngan ear phone, kalau nyanyi lagu mariah carey tu rase mcm suara pun mcm mariah carey. dah kau tak dengar ur own voice sbb dah sumbat telinga ngan ear phone. yang kene menahan bahana telinga is my roommate jugak. terima kasih sebab bertahan. the noise i make everytime skype ngan family or gayut dengan boyfriend, but this is not just on my side, hihiks, yaya lagi hardcore when it comes to skyping :P terima kasih dekat i sebab bertahan hihiks :P

talk about waktu tidur. kalau time exam tu, bilik kitorang sure tak tutup lampu. we take turns. usually she will study up till 1-2am, and i will usually study smpai 4-5am, so she'll go to sleep first and will remind me to wake her up when i nak masuk tidur, and she will wake me up utk pegi exam pulak. we're symbiosis like that. hah, bagus kan.

sometimes mesti yaya sakit jiwa jugak beroommate kan i. yelah i kan suke drama wakakakakka. takde lah, sometimes gaduh ngan boyfriend ke, nanti tetibe jek

mata bengkak2. tak pun depress exam keee (ni mmg my fav, my mom dah knal sgt perangai i nih), tau2 je dah meroyan sorang2 dalam bilik. nak tak nak, terpaksa gak die amek tau buat2 tanye eventho die menyampah (tatau la die menyampah btul2 ke tak) tapi dh sebab roommate kau meroyan depan mata takkan nk buat bodo pulak kan. HAHAHAH. thank you yaya. jasamu sangat dikenang.

so this is yaya yang digembar-gemburkan. hihiks.

actually nak je bilik sorang but i have to choose housemates jugak. i am particular like that. takmo main pindah je dengan sesape yang u're not so close to coz to me it's very crucial utk ngam ngan housemates. otherwise, u'll be living on ur own in that house. tak best la gitu kan. so, that's why it took me so long to finally move out.

so i moved in sheila's n mary's house. i'm very close to sheila and bole la tahan leh masuk dengan mary. so yeah, why not? hihiks so here i am now, living with my 2 new housemates, sheila and mary. we went to europe together last year so that shows dat i can really live with them. kan kan. hihiks.

these are my 2 new housemates. this picture was taken last year in London.

soooo, was so excited bout having the room all by myself. hihiks. recently, P bought me this. DISCO BALL :p

and yes, the disco ball lights up my room now :P he knew i was crazy about having a disco ball in my own room so yeah, very thoughtful kan. hihiks. getting something u really really really didn't expect is like the best thing ever. thanks to P for the unexpected gift :P my room is even cooler nowwww! HAHAHAHA.

and this is how my room looks like. i painted the wall with soft purple colour and note the barbie bed sheet! yuppp there's little kid stucked inside me hihiksss!! eh biarlahhhh. i like it like that! my generasi plays barbie time kecik2 okay so i don't mind being 25 and still using the barbie bedsheet coz i think i'm cute like that. wakakakaka. ok cut that.

and as u can see, those are pictures of people i love. if u're in there, means i love u bebeh. i'm sentimental like that. i MUST have pictures of people i love hanging/sticked somewhere in my room because i'd like to see them everyday. hihiks. yup, i get attached to people and memories and ehhhh apesal plak nk sentimental ni i'm supposed to talk about my new room.

and have i told u that my new housemates are both from sabah? so yup, they talk to each other in their sabahan slang so somehow i have to fit in jugak. most of the time i will bantai sajes cakap semenanjung but sometimes tersasul2 jugak cakap sabah walaupun tak pandai tapi buat2 pandai jek. so this is us, me being annoying trying to talk in sabah wahahahaha. this video was recorded while we were in London, on one very cold nite waiting for bus to go back to our friend's house :P

so, i'll leave you with this video. till then, daaa.

indian traffic is no good

hello there people,

sooo, we got to leave early from the hospital today and instead of going back by car, i took a ride on kakli's bike hihiks. coz Nadia (the other owner of the car) had to stay a little longer at the hospital for her case presentation so yuppp, i ciao dulu la kan belum sampai seru pulak nak berajin2 dekat hospital, baik aku berjimba2 di bilik daripada lepak kat hospital kan. haisshhh bad example of medical student. bad bad bad.

it was a longgggg trip back home. it was supposed to take only 15 minutes from the hospital to our home but this time, it took us about 30-45 minutes, thanks to the horrible traffic. and u don't wanna talk about the weather, the sun burns my skin, it was really scorching hot!!!

and i guess kesempatan i utk merecord video kinda explain the time wasted on the road. it was hot and i was bored (as i was only the passenger kan, got nothing to focus on) so hihiks, did this to kill the time.

so, need i say more about indian traffic? the video says it all.

cheesy.

going stronger than ever before

hopefully :)

if i'm allowed to be selfish,

i surely wanna make you stay here a little longer,

but,

distance means so little when someone means so much :)

promises are overrated

how many people promised you the world,

but end up shutting you away from their world?

how many people promised to love you,

but end up falling in love with someone else?

how many people promised to take care of you,

but end up neglecting every part of you?