hari ini saye rase tertampar dan ditampar.

today in history. yeah, i've something to be highlighted today. earlier this day, me and baz went to MG road, *MG road is Mahatma Gandhi Road* because we need to go to HSBC bank, with the intention to sign up for new saving account *finally kitorg mendpt hidayah utk save duit*. but unfortunately, foreign students are not allowed to do so!what the heck!gosh, sooo irritating okkk! fine btw, that's not the story i really wanna share here. so abaikan.

here goes the story. annoyed with HSBC, we went pusing2 kat MG road and masuk dis one shop owned by indian muslim. sambil tgk2 barang2 kat kedai ni, mcm2 la the owner tanye.

"so where are you from?", tanye owner tersebut.

"we're from malaysia"

"oh malaysia!"

"what are u doing here?"

"we're studying here"

"ohh, so what's ur name?"

"i'm bazilah", kate baz dengan yakin sekali.

"zahirah", saye juge tak kurang yakinnye.

"ohhh! are u muslim??"

"yes yes we are!"

"ohh, then why are u wearing like this? you're supposed to cover up ur head etc etc. back in kashmir, muslim girls are wearing etc etc etc", sambil meneliti pakaian kami.

maka kami hanya mampu tersenyum.

"sooo, u're away from ur hometown, it looks like u're having fun wearing like this ehh?", sambung owner berkenaan.

"no no. we also wear like this back in malaysia", begitulah kata2 baz.

"do you pray everyday?home many times a day do u pray?",owner berkenaan mahu pula menguji knowledge kami.

"5 times a day!of course we pray!", turn saye pulak utk berkate2.

"no no i don't think so. where did u pray?wearing like this?", okay. that's very cynical.

"we prayed already. at home!", saye jawab lagi.

"don't lie! it's very bad okay!",kata owner itu dgn muke serious.

"nope we don't!okay, seee u again!", maka kami pon cpt2 keluar dari kedai itu.

adus. gile rase tertampar siotttt! after a few steps, kitorg gelak2 cam org gile. bukan nk make fun of the owner. tp gelak kat diri sendiri sbb rase cam malu gile kot? adus. ok la, the owner was right. muslim girls should wear this and that. maka, saye pon mule tertanye (actually i ask this question to myself every single day) bile la aku nk pakai tudung nie? adus. niat mmg dh ade. tunggu nak buat jer. tatau la asal susah sgt. setan byk sgt kot?

to the shop owner, thanks for the reminder. wpon ayat kau bole tahan kasar, tapi mmg btul pon, takkan aku nk marah kot? kepade diri sendiri, kau pikir la sendiri.

dush dush!

sekian terima kasih

distance can be so cruel.

okay, i hate dis! i hate dis! i really hate dis!!!why do i have to stay afar from him?i miss him sgt! and when i need him the most, he can't be there. it's not that he doesn't wanna be there for me, but it's the distance. okay fine, it's not like we're separated by two different continents, yeah we both are in india, in fact we're in the same state, but he's 14 hours drive away from me. fine, i know there are more and more less fortunate couples, maybe sorang in the north pole, sorang lagi kat south pole, but i don't care, i just can't take it. i'm not used to it. :(

i really wanna see u la baby...when u're around, everything is like soooo wonderful. u're the reason i believe in myself again. u know kan, i was about to lose hope, lose faith, and then u came, so why can't u just stay near me? :(

having u around is fun!

i know i'm making such a big fuss over the distance. mcm la jauh gile kan. but who cares. my blog, suke hati i la nk tulis ape kan. anyways, i miss everything we did together. like masak together like the other day. blaja with u and make sure u tak tido time blaja. pegi beach, u know how much i love the beach! i miss ur companion when i go shopping. naik motor with u around manipal, hahahah damn it i sound like minah rempit but btw, we're in india kan, naik motor la is the most practical n flexible kan? considering the road yg mcm jalan tanah merah, especially in manipal! the never ending conversation! and what i miss the most is, our silent moment just staring at each other. hahahah yeah, i can sit silent with you, doing nothing, and i still feel whole. that's a clear sign that i'm sooo in love with u kot? yes? no?

my little dinosour

i know i can be really difficult at times. nak tu, nak ni, and nk mcm2 lagi. yeah, i admit that. but thanks syg, despite my gedikness and mengadeness, u're still there. knowing you, i know you too are alone in manipal. yelah, ur housemate pon ade gf kat sane. the rest pon are busy with their loved ones. if u're just some random guys, am sure u dh cari girl lain kat manipal tu to accompany u, but u're different. that's why i love u!

my artpiece

skarang ni baru nk masuk november. the earliest we can meet again will be on february. yeah, i can't afford to go there and kacau u study. and u too, u can't come over because u're packed with all the exams and tests kan. haih, till then, i'll be missing u like crazy je la :( why oh why...

likewise, he misses me too!

tapi like u said, our time will come. okay, i take ur words. i'll wait okay! but jgn naughty2 kat sane k dear. takleh usha2 girl lain. hahaahhaha. k la, i just miss u damn much. nak call tkde credit. nak msg plak nnti kacau u tgh study right now *td dh janji tanak kacau* and that's why i end up writing this. dearie dear, i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u. ok, i'll be waiting for my wake up call tomorrow morning. i won't wake up will u call me. so please, u know what to do ;p okay!

just you and me

this picture and another picture of him standing by the beach was edited by him. thanks love. love it love it! okay la, this post is too lengthy plak. gotta catch my beauty sleep! last words, i love my azar syazwan sgt!

the only boy

i've been blogging so much about my little sisters.

i do have 1 little brother, yeah, one and only.

and of course, i do miss him. A LOT.

he's my one and only Muhammad Amir :)

akak loves u sooooo muchhh!

ponteng class : already in my blood

why do i say so? because i am not the only one in the family who are fond of skipping classes. my 3 little sisters are even better than me. trust me, they really are.

my youngest sister can put up a real act to skip a class. there was one day, she woke up in the morning with that i-am-in-pain face and hobbled to my mom's bedroom to tell mom that she was having a terrible "stomach ache". yup, she finally got MC from my mom. *big applause!* and pufff, her "stomach ache" was automatically cured! she can actually walk steadily, and there were no longer painful expression on her face. the next thing she did was, giggling over the online games etc. ohhh, what a successful story of skipping a morning class by an 11-year-old girl.

i once got this "juara ponteng class" title from my ustazah when i was in standard 6. she was kinda pissed with me for not attending the class every alternate day. the funny part was, i took turn with my desk mate, ainaa atikah, without actually realizing it till my ustazah made a clear announcement to the whole class.

and i still remember when i was in form 4, before i got an offer to go to boarding school, i had no idea at all about the craps that has been taught in add math, biology, physics etc classes. i almost drop biology class in exchange with LK ( lukisan kejuruteraan) class because i thought it would be easier for me then. ok whatever, back to my story. because i knew nuts about the lessons taught, and because i didn't have that much interest to learn in class, i often go back home just before the recess bell rings. it was a real advantage to sit at the very back corner of the class. i used to put my school bag at the back door, and pretended to go to the toilet. and duh! u know what to expect next! got out of the school through the back gate, there was a 'hole' especially made for students like me. and bingo, i'll on my way home.

now that i'm a uni student, a minimum attendance of 85% is required for every medical student to be able to sit for final examination. and guess what, my attendance was 86% when i was about to sit for my 1st year final examination. here's the cold truth, my attendance was as stated because each and everyone of us was given free attendance worth 3 weeks of classes. imagine if there's no free attendance, i will surely get detained from sitting for the final examination. scary huh?

now, i keep my own record of my attendance. yeah, a small pocket notebook especially for my attendance. my mom keeps on reminding me not to skip classes so that i can maintain my attendance, and of course, so that i won't miss important lectures. my mom was a medical student in UKM, and she was once detained from taking her final examination cuz her attendance did not reach the minimum requirement. nope, she was nothing like me, in fact, she was a total opposite me. but, she was not well back then, she often fell sick and it somehow affect her attendance. isn't it irony? my mom was a real hardworking student, who got detained from taking her exam cuz she was sick, and her daughter was a real i-dont-know-what-to-call who just loveeeeee to skip classes, for no concrete excuse. not only one. all 4 of her daughters. goshh!

i seriously dunno why am i enjoying this habit. it's just...me. i'm just...that type who loves to laze around. but it doesn't mean that i dun take studies seriously. i do, i really do. i have that ambition that everyone else is having, to be a successful one in the future, but it's just my way. *yeah,maybe* i'm not that type who studies consistently, though i've been hoping for me to be like one, but i just can't. the thought of me being a studiholic makes me want to vomit! hahahah and i know this is not right, but i can't help feeling peevishly annoyed with those who are blooooodddyyy, i mean BLOODY hardworking!! yeah, i really am! i mean, take a break and have fun! life is not all about studying, come on!

oh listen, i'm proud to announce that, my attendance is 100% *so far!* hahahah..yeah, so far! it's been only 2 weeks since the new phase got started, and yes, i have not miss a single day, yet. not just yet. :D whatever it is, i am now working towards the better me. at least i have my own record, so i won't go overboard *hopefully!!* or my mom will chase after me with her penyapu n siat2 my telinga! hahahahah

okay, let's hope for me to improve on this. to my 3 little girls, let's not skip classes that often anymore. and of course, i gotta do better this time, i gotta start study earlier this phase, errr...but the problem is, i haven't got a single book of this 2nd phase of MBBS! it'll ultimately cost me for about Rs9K ( dat's about RM900) to buy all the books! *shit, i am that calculative when it comes to this!wakakakkakaka*

berubahla ira.

end of story!

nook.

while my dear friends are enjoying the evening breeze of the city, i'm still here, secluded by these 4 walls.

i'm not anti-social.

but, going out simply means money. the ever so expensive auto fare. the food. everything in bangalore is pretty expensive. and i desperately need to save money for some reasons.

sorry friends, i'll be on hiatus till my financial is stable again. *see if i can stand it! hmmphhh!*

DADDY cool!

25th October 1951 - the man i call abah was born. yeah, dat was 57 years ago, and tomorrow, he'll be turning 57!!! :D

HAPPY 57th BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!

57 is no doubt a big big number ;p , but my dad will proudly admit that he still look macho despite his increasing age! hahah yela yela, u still look macho n super gagah! *cara-cara terbaik utk membodek ehehe ;p*

sarah told me that they all bought a buftday cake for u, and mom got u a shirt. ohhh sooo sweeet! i'm sorry abah, i have nothing for you... :( i can't be there to celebrate your buftday together... *sad sad* but you're always on my mind, that's for sure!

i hope u read this...
abah, selamat hari jadi yang ke-57...
saye doakan abah panjang umur, murah rezeki and sihat selalu...
semoga abah happy2 and ceria selalu...
saye saaaaaaaaaayyyyyaaaannnnggggg abahhhhh!!

awww i suddenly get so sentimental! *isshhh!!* i suddenly miss home so much! to abah, i'll be waiting for all of you to come over here in december! :D here's pics of my supercool daddy with his supercool daughter!

abah yg macho :)

with abah during hari raya

sayang abah!!

lots n lots of love,
supercool daughter *hahahaha*

shopping is love

i can't help it.

i spent hours admiring dresses and tops from some blogshops.

no i'm not supposed to do so. yes, i should stop.

okay, let's just stop.

p/s : online shopping is so addictive. *damn!*

cOokies and little sisterS

i left out an important event, the cookies making. hahah, it's important because it was the first time ever, me and my sisters were baking our own homemade cookies. needless to say, it was finger licking good! tak caye tanye nadia n ninot! kan kan kannn? ;p

yeah, the 3 girls are my little sisters. aisyah, sarah n baby a.k.a anis. ohh, in the vid attached, u can see the 2 girls were arguing, that is sooo normal in my house. everyone ikut kepala sendiri! one minute they get along so well, another minute they'll be fighting. and this event is more like a cycle. it keeps repeating :)

okay, back to cookies business. some cookies are overheated *hangusss!* ekekekke, but the rest are fine. overall, it was a nice attempt. we'll have another round of this when i get home okayyy?

lastly, just a little reminder to all 3 of u. to aisyah, jgn malas study, exam's coming up so be prepared. to mohd maisarah ;p, jgn gengster sgtttt! hahahah and to baby, jgn manje2 sgt lagiiii! oh..semue reminder ade word jgn.LOL.

with love,
akak yg cun! hahahhah

the rules of life!

1. honest

painful truth is always better than white lie. it's best to tell the truth, rather than living in a lie. telling lies may give temporary pleasure, happiness, pride or whatever, but don't forget to have a thought on how it may affect the future? you may get caught one day, and things won't get any better if the truth is found in inappropriate way. i hate crooked people, they're of no use to me.

2. never trust a person 100%

in some cases, not even family members. yeah i don't trust people easily, and i don't trust some people throughout my life. gaining a trust is never an easy thing. even the closest person can betray you, and then you are left forsaken.

3. independent

i personally hate people who rely totally on others. i mean, get a life! being too dependent is just soooo irritating. helping one another is a good thing, but some people just can't differentiate between 'mintak tlg' and 'menyusahkan orang'. yeah, please check on that.

4. courage

hidup mesti berani. this is very crucial. risk taker is always a better person. it is undeniable that the road to success is indeed a rocky one, but we'll definitely reach there if we're brave enough to take up the challenge. hati kering, that's very much needed sometimes. especially when you need to move forward and stop dwelling about the past.

5. faith

this is the final and the most important rule of life. belief. have faith in yourself and God. most of us lack of the latter, i'm not excluded to be frank but i'm working on it *heeeeeeeeee*

missing my cats!

okay this is weird. im not really a big fan of cats, or any other pets. but im starting to miss my cats sooo much! i've 3 cats, namely atan, vivi and tiger. atan is of course a male, vivi is khunsa a.k.a pondan and tiger is female. oh yesss i love talking to the cats :) especially when nobody wants to hear me talking craps. haha dat's what makes me love spending time with the cats!

but the next time i go back, i cant be sure if all 3 of em are still there. they're prone of having food poisoning for eating i-dont-know-what outside my house. then they'll start making coughing-like sounds, oh dat's so sad to be frank!

here in india, i can hardly see the cats. dogs are everywhere, but cats are nowhere to be found. even if there's cat, it'll runaway from man, i have no idea why! oh to my little sisters n brother, take good care of the cats. im sure they will! especially amir, he loves feeding the cats :) these are pics of my lovely lovely cats!

BYEbye Malaysia, HELLo India~!

I hate the fact that I am now no longer in Malaysia. I have already ran aground to the land of spices, India. Ahhh, I miss home already. Bangalore is still the same, except that there’s a new fly over near my apartment.

My journey to Bangalore was really exhausting. I flied to Bangalore with Sri Lankan Airlines. That’s because MAS was charging us too much! I took-off from KLIA right on time, that was on 2.10 pm. *in fact, it was 5 minutes earlier* and we reached Colombo half an hour earlier that the expected arrival time. Upon our arrival, we were informed that our flight to Bangalore was delayed until 11.10 pm. That means, we were 5 hours behind the scheduled time. But the good news was, accommodation and free dinner were provided. We headed to the hotel by van, and guess what, the hotel was just next to the beach! And it’s all free. We were all excited about taking a stroll by the sea. At least the transit was not all about hanging out at the airport.

The food was good! We took a short stroll by the beach. Many mat salleh were on holiday here. I didn’t know that Colombo is a famous tourist spot. Around 9 pm, a bus took us to the airport. The next activity was waiting for our flight to Bangalore at 11.10 pm.

Reached Bangalore about an hour later. Reached home around 2 am in the morning. Ahhh, The next time I know was, classes for the first week was cancelled!!! Fuck! And what the hell am I doing here in Bangalore??? I should have stay for another week in Malaysia!

Bored. Bored. Bored. I dunno what to do. I’m bored. I wanna go back home. Staying at home just looking at the walls is way better than staying in Bangalore, wondering what should I do next. I have one whole week to waste. I think I better go to Manipal. At least my boyfriend is there. I can accompany him studying. And he can possibly cook for me, as his interest towards cooking is blooming.

I bloody miss home. Sekian, terima kasih.

saya mesti mula berjimat cermat.

saya sedang mengemas barang2 saya utk pulang ke negara india di mana saya akan meneruskan perjuangan untuk belajar perubatan dalam tahun yang ke-2. saya terkesima kerana saya sedari, betapa banyaknya baju2 yang saya beli tetapi saya belum lagi sempat menggayakannya. oh, saya menyesal. duit saya terbang melayang kerana mengikut kata hati yang jahat ini untuk membeli dan terus membeli baju2 yang entah bila akan saya gayakannya. oh tidak.

tadi baru saja mama saya bising2 dekat anak2 tercinta pasal pembaziran. abah saya jugak tidak ketinggalan untuk menyentil. abah saya cerita, sewaktu dia berusia 16 tahun, dia begitu kempunan utk memiliki sebuah radio kecil yang hanya berharga rm24. abah saya bertungkus lumus dengan operasi penjimatan besar-besaran. namun, dia hanya berjaya mengumpul rm12. dan sampai sudah, impian beliau utk memiliki radio kecil itu tidak kesampaian. kesian kan? maklumlah, abah bukan berasal dari keluarga yang kaya raya. to'ki hanya seorang kerani suatu ketika dulu. adik beradik abah pula sedozen, ye betul lah tu, 12 orang. keluarga abah hidup dalam keadaan sederhana dan begitu berjimat cermat.

mama juga berasal dari keluarga yang kurang berada. atuk saya merupakan seorang askar. adik beradik mama tidak kurang ramainya. sebagai anak sulung, mama memang telah ditanamkan sifat untuk berjimat cermat.

tapi, apa jadi pada anak2 abah dan mama? ya rabbi. kami memang tak kenal erti susah, bak kata mama. apa yang kami mahu, merengek meraung2 sikit pasti abah akan belikan. oh, bukan saya, tapi adik2 saya. semasa abah belajar di scotland dulu, biasiswa yang diperoleh hanya 70 pounds kot? tapi abah masih mampu menghantar sedikit duit belanja buat keluarga di kampung. sedangkan saya, saya mendapat 700 usd sebulan, tapi saya tidak pula mengirim wang ke rumah. jangan kata kirim duit, duit simpanan untuk diri sendiri pun belum tentu ada. oh, saya memang tak reti simpan duit. saya hanya tahu membelanjakan duit. apa nak jadi pada saya?

saya tahu, saya kena mula menyimpan duit. saya ingin menghentikan segala pembaziran. saya tidak mahu lagi berbelanja sewenang2nya. saya tidak mahu lagi ikutkan hati untuk membeli baju2 yang saya suka dan kasut2 yang menambat hati saya. walaupun misi ini agak sukar untuk diteruskan, tapi saya akan cuba. kepada rakan2 saya yang kuat berbelanja di india seperti bazilah, nadia, ninot dan adam, tolong jangan pengaruhi saya untuk berbelanja macam orang gila lagi.

saya perlu bertaubat. ahhh, saya akan cuba simpan duit. saya akan cuba untuk tidak cepat cair seperti chocolate bila melihat baju2 yang comel dan kasut2 yang ahh, menggoda. apa yang diperkatakan abah dan mama tadi banyak kebenarannya. abah bakal pencen lagi setahun, adik saya tak kurang ramainya. saya, sebagai anak yang agak sudah besar, mesti membantu keluarga. sampai bila saya mahu harapkan ibu bapa? sampai bila mama dan abah mesti bekerja keras untuk menanggung kami adik beradik? kenapa saya lambat sedar? eh, saya dah lama sedar, tapi disebabkan kesengalan saya, saya buat buat tak tahu saja.

tapi lepas ini, saya akan cuba buat buat tahu. saya akan hentikan pembaziran yang melampau-lampau ini dengan serta merta. Ya Allah, tolonglah hamba-Mu yang lemah ini. Amin.

Just As Perfect As You!

I was waiting for my dad in the car when I saw a disabled guy, all by his own, rolling his wheelchair until he reached at his car. Then, the security guard on duty helped this guy to keep his wheelchair after he managed to get in the car, all by himself. I saw him thanking the security guard and moments later, he drove the car and disappeared from my view.

One word, strong. I really think this person is strong enough to live his life to the fullest. He is disabled, yet he seemed so calm. Being handicapped, he’s not afraid to face the world and be in line with normal people. My curiosity was peaking, where did he get such strength?

If I were to be in his shoes, I don’t think I’m able to still mingle around with normal people without feeling inferior. I might as well stay indoor for the rest of my life. I might shut out all sorts of business I had with people around me so that they won’t have to see me in such condition. I hate it when I’m not as perfect as people around me. I hate to let anyone know about any of my weakness or failure.

Most of the time that I feel like failing, I’ll cry my heart out all by myself. No, no one should ever know about me grieving over my failure. Especially not to those I consider as rivals. There’s no way they can win a victory over me. Yes, I am that competitive, secretly.

But this guy is really strong to still move forward regardless of his salient disability. I praised that, really. He simply taught me that we should not let our weakness to bring us down. Weakness is only a weakness if we think about it that way. Belief is the key. That is to believe in ourselves and belief and Allah. InsyaAllah, we’ll be just as perfect as others.
Thank you, stranger. I came across you for just a few seconds, yet your strength worth a valuable lesson to me.

karaoke blast at fatin's bday bash~!

fatin dearest, HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY in advance :) *she'll be turning 20 on 15th October, to be exact* this celebration is made a few days earlier so that we can all celebrate it together.



farah came in by surprise, bringing along buftday cupcakes for fatin! forgive me the video is a bit cacat, recorded by aenn kot? so, blame her!! ;p

me and the buftday girl :)

this is the killer!! karaoke dangdut is superduperfun!! enjoy memori daun pisang by me, farah, ika and nadd!

after a long hours of karaoke-ing

we were there in red box, pavillion from 11 am till 6 pm. i enjoyed singing till sakit pinggang melampau. *howcome nyanyi bole buat sakit pinggang?* here's the buftday girl, singing a rock kapak song. *golek golek melihat penghayatan fatin yang mencapai tahap moksya!*





just another song. another video to share. forgive me the vid is upside down. not me, just a friend of mine who doesn't know how to use the camera! hahaha ;p



i hope my dearest fatin likes the present that me, nadd and farah gave her. and the cupcakes. and the card. and the moment we shared. HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY once again, from me. love you lots!!

punctuality and me.

ira ke punctual? doesn't make sense isn't it? honestly, i'm a latecomer for lectures, any lab practicals, all sorts of meetings etc etc. but, i'm always on time for a date, be it with boyfriend or girlfriends.

i hate to make people wait for me. i'll feel really bad if they have to wait for me. but then, some people just don't bother at all. well, it's okay, waiting for someone is better than letting someone wait for me. but, a promise is a promise. some people tend to promise, and minutes after, they forget about what they had promised. say if you promised to see me at 9am, unless something pops up, i'll definitely be there right on time.

punctuality is not our culture. not malay culture. i may be punctual for dates, but as stated, not for lectures, practicals etc. as how my lecturers have to wait for me, that's how i wait for my friends etc. fair enough? :)

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

how's raya? nothing great about my raya. i don't even have kampung cuz there's no one left in kampung. no atuk, no nenek, no to'ki, no tok. :) hence, no kampung. my own house is my kampung. yeah, we've been celebrating raya in shah alam for years. here are some pictures of me and my family on pagi raya. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri dan Maaf Zahir Batin from me to all of u :)

daddy, me, mummy

standing : amir, baby
sitting : sarah, me , kak long, aisyah

family portrait