High School Craze

Sometimes, I do miss my old self when I was still a teenager who lived my life to the fullest. I'm thankful that I grew up under the supervision of my super cool parents who understand what a teenager has to taste in life and so, they let me went through massive culture shock when I was still in school as I had almost total discretion towards my own life (with their guidance of course)

Well thanks to my parents, I don't have to go through that stage of life when you're a newbie to everything life has to offer at this age, because seeing some peeps who are trying hard to assimilate themselves with the new culture they've just discovered, I feel sorry for them. Some just have to live a double life to cope up with their secret life. You know, balik kampung pakai tudung pakai jubah pakai handsocks etc etc and when they're away from parents kalau boleh semua pun mau kasi tersembul. Pathetic.

Anyways, I didn't intend to write about culture shock in this post but as usual, my urgency to write came out so suddenly that I can't stop myself from typing this one out so pardon me for going off topic. Hahaha. Okay okay let me get back on track.

So have you had any high school craze? No I'm not talking about cute boys playing basketball (save it for another blog post ;p) Well, I do. Some are incredibly stupid but then again, everybody looks stupid at some point of our life so who cares. See what I'd like to reveal about my high school craze. I might have to filter 'em out.

1. Piercing
I was crazy about having multiple piercings on my ears. I swear my ear was somewhat like that in the picture, except that I don't let the hole of the piercing(s) be of that size. Having my ears pierced many times, the pain wasn't exactly what I was afraid of. It's the pleasure of getting yourself multiple piercings was the only thing that matters to me. I used to have 4 piercings on my left ear and 3 piercings on my right ear.

I had a huge collection of earrings back then but now all the earrings are gone di telan zaman, I'm guessing my little sisters were the ones responsible for this. And I was about to get navel piercing when a friend blurted out the fact that she had to practically undergo a surgery to remove her sunken belly ring.

2. Hair dye

The last time I had my hair fully intact in its natural color was when I was 13. Yes, I had my first hair dye when I was 13 and within this 10-year duration (now that I am 23), my hair has never been in its natural state ever again.

I dyed my own hair as a 13-year old girl can't possibly afford to get her hair dye at the salon so my first attempt was a total joke. I had the upper portion of my head with bright golden blonde color with the rest having almost black color haha. Soon enough, I learnt to dye my hair right and I actually dyed my little sisters' hair when they were still in their standard 1 and kindergarten.

And I actually taught them how to do hair dyeing right there and then so we can help each other with it in the future. Yes this is what sisters are for. Kecik2 dah berjasa pada kakak. Bagus. I couldn't stop myself from dyeing my hair everytime it ran out of colour, guess it shows that it was one of my high school craze back then.

3. Converse sneakers

I don't know how is zaman sekolah nowadays, but during my time, the punkrock era was evolving so much that it gave a big influence on school-goers. So, it was something to be proud of when people label you as 'awek grunge' hahahaha. OK poyo much I know wakakak. All you need was to form a band, or at least going solo and rock with your musical instrument, dress up like one and converse shoes was the secret to complete them all. Or at least, most of us believed it was.

I had 4 pairs of converse shoes altogether throughout my school years, one of which was descended from my big sister as I beg her to gave it up. God knows what I had to go through to get another 3 pairs, I had to pujuk rayu my dad to buy me a pair and I had to fast all the way and save up my own pocket money to get myself another 2 pairs. Exactly what the teenagers would do for their high school craze.

4. Lipbalm

Perasan I was one awek grunge back then, it didn't stop me from being all girly when I wanted to. I collected lipbalms with various flavors and tint shades. I didn't really need them all back then but it was something that I was fond of collecting. I even compare my collection with my girlfriend's to see who got better collection. LOL. Yes, we actually compete with these lipbalms thingy.

Now that I'm done with school, I no longer am a lipbalm collector, instead, I collect lipsticks with various colors. Maybe this is the only high school craze that I can't leave behind even after I left high school teeheee.

So what's your high school craze?

what's real and what's not

pardon me for the long silence. life has been really complicated lately and i am getting more and more confused as each day passes by. maybe i need a real good rehab.

as long as i'm not driven by emotion, i won't write about my personal life in great detail here. it sounds so wrong to let random people see through you and though i owe an explanation to the people around me (of what's really happening to me) but it's just not my principle to let the cats out just to shut ppl's mouth.

so yeah, no explanation no nothing. just wanna let you know, keep talking because i don't give a damn.

kawin

no kidding man, i am in that age, that age yang orang berlumba-lumba nak kawin, nak tunang, nak buat anak. seriouslyyyy? i think i'm still youngggg, or at least i feel young! and i am still struggling to get my degree! but these people semua dah nak kawin etc etc. seriously?

i have like dozens of wedding invitations + engagement invitations. and the rest of my friends dah plan when they're getting engaged, when they're getting married, when this when that. wow. u guys really have good future. i envy u people.

my kak long was once hurt by her fiance, and tell you what, she really lost hope in love. and at some point of her life, she actually refused to attend any wedding/engagement because she can't cope with depression. i was like, wtf, life goes on. you got look, you got career, you got everything else that a girl wish for so why la nak keco2 just because u haven't found the right one? i guess i really didn't know what she felt back then. truly sorry.

how does it feels like to lose hope in love? is it really that depressing? i guess when u really lose hope, it's quite a tough job for the other person to mend your broken heart, to build up your trust again, to start over, kan? scary much!!

i always wanted to get married at early age. asal tah. gatal kot. but marriage won't happen to me in the near future sooooo, to all my friends who are getting married real soon, i wish you have a good life ahead with ur future spouse. bestnya kawin! sedikit jeles! lalalala~~

okay just to make me feel better, kalau tak kawin lagi boleh bangun lambat smpai tengahari, tkyah susah2 masak sedap2, tkyah susah2 basuh baju laki kau and tak payah dengar cakap sape2. lol. okay confirm takde sape nak kawin dengan aku lepas ni ;p

lol. a best friend told me, percaya je pada jodoh. don't push it, don't hold it. because what is meant to be yours will eventually be yours, what is not will never be no matter how hard to try. so yes, let's just believe in that. and guess what, she's getting married in a week or so. congrats Sophia Yuhanis! :) too bad i won't be around on her wedding :(

p/s : while writing this blog post, i'm coughing non stop, my throat feels soooo uneasy and my hands are shaking. think this is because i've been cheering much during the sports day. sigh. what a life.

jenis-jenis manusia

i have friends from all walks of life, daripada sealim-alim orang, sampai sejahat-jahat orang. ok tapi i belum pernah ada kawan pembunuh la, not yet in my list.

it's good to get to know people with different background, different belief, different perception, different lifestyle, different way of interpreting things. well, satu kepala or not tu belakang cerita. of course, kau tak boleh nak satu kepala with just anyone, tapi you can at least respect and shut up.

it's not that i'm proud if kawan2 i hanyut, makan duit haram, tonggang air haram, main perempuan etc etc, i would advise if i think i'm the right person to do so, but i would just shut up if i think i'm not. but whatever it is, usually i never really hate them because of what they do sebab i don't think i am that perfect, that suci murni, to hate others for their wrong-doings.

to me, the most important thing is to know them personally. bukan semua orang yang berdosa dengan Tuhan adalah busuk hati. true, orang kata setiap daripada kita ada tanggungjawab untuk nasihat orang lain, tapi to me, bukan semua orang sesuai untuk menasihatkan orang lain, so the least you could do is to hate the wrong-doings that the person commit, bukan membenci that person, outcast that person and treat him like dia sorang je yang berdosa and kau sorang je yang banyak pahala.

kadang-kadang kita tak tahu reasons for him committing all the sins, tapi kita judge. kita tak tahu what the person has gone through in his life yang menjadikan dia seorang yg penuh dengan dosa, tapi kita judge. kita tak tahu apa yang pernah terdetik dalam hati dia, tapi kita judge. kite ni manusia ke Tuhan?

betul, kalau depress, orang selalu nasihat kita ingat kepada Tuhan, jangan lupa Tuhan. but what if iman orang tu tak setegar iman kau? what if iman dia yang tak kuat tu yang membuatkan dia terus hanyut dengan dosa? what's the best thing to do? to judge him, hate him, outcast him or to befriend with him and guide him?

kau dah tentu baik dan mulia sebab kau tak commit all the sins and buat semua suruhan Tuhan, tapi at some other point of life, you're just as pathetic for acting like a God and judge others all you want.

i beg all of you to think about this, deeply.

Undang-undang Berkaraoke

Ada sape2 lagi ke yang tak tau aku pencinta karaoke? Ahaha kejadah apekah nak semua orang tau that I love karaoke-ing kan. Btw yes, I love love love karaoke-ing walaupun suaraku dihina dicaci malah diperkotak-katikkan, tapi persetankan itu semua. Tak nak dengar aku nyanyi sudah, nama kau dollah.

You don't need a golden voice untuk melayakkan diri berkaraoke anyway. Bak kata Air Asia, now everyone can fly, begitu jugalah slogan Red Box, now everyone can sing OK tipu ini slogan aku buat sendiri.

But I don't do karaoke with just anyone because some people adalah sangat terkinja-kinja melalukan perkara pantang larang semasa berkaraoke and it annoys me to death. So, lesson learnt, the next time you go karaoke-ing, make sure anda pergi bersama orang yang tidak terkinja-kinja melakukan perkara pantang larang semasa berkaraoke.

First things first, we all know karaoke bukanlah hobi yang murah unless pergi karaoke jamban. Red Box toksah cakap lah, berlubang sekejap walletku kalau karaoke kat Red Box, tapi demi cinta yang mendalam kepada suara emas sendiri, ku relakan juga.

So bila dah tau karaoke bukan benda murah, and kau orang tong tong bayar untuk bilik karaoke tu, apa barang dowh some people bila masuk je karaoke room, terus terkam remote control bilik 10 lagu stret untuk kau sorang. Macam ni :

"OMG cepat cepat I nak pilih lagu"
"Eh I nak lagu Katy Perryyy!! Haaa semua lagu Katy Perry I nak nyanyi, ok ok dah 5 lagu katy perry"
"Ohhhh I nak nyanyi that new released single from Britney jugak!!"
"Eh this song pon bestt!! Nak nak!!"

and it went on sampai si lakhanat ni dah pilih sampai 10 lagu. WTF dowh. I didn't pay to hear you sing for freaking 1 hour or so and lepas tu aku dapat nyanyi 1-2 lagu je padahal bayar sama rata gak. Cilakak betul. Common sense ade tak kak? Nak kata first time, kau siap ada membership card, tapi perangai terkinja-kinja kau boleh tahan jugak melampau.

Lenkali, pilih la 1-2 lagu and then pass the remote to your other friend and let her choose her songs, lepas tu pass kat kawan2 lain and baru back to you and now you can choose your third and fourth song. Ada paham? Kalau kau dah siap2 pilih 10 lagu, memang confirm2 la kau sorang je yang nyanyi nanti. Baik aku balik rumah nyanyi sorang2 dalam jamban dekat rumah aku, lagi syok okay.

Itu perkara pantang larang nombor 1 and yang paling aku menyampah. Pantang larang kedua aku adalah orang Amalaynicans. Arghhh ini pun menyampah lagi stress lagi muntah hijau berak cacing plsssssssssssss.

OK i can sing english songs when karaoke-ing but who cares if I wanna sing lagu dangdut? Or rock kapak? Or balada? Or irama tradisional? Who fucking cares? Amalaynicans care! Because orang melayu bajet mat salleh ni allergic kalau dengar orang nyanyi lagu melayu.

Honestly, my songs of choice when karaoke-ing are usually malay songs. Because whyyy, because I think it's fun-ner to sing malay songs when you're with a whole bunch of crazy friends, it suits ur voice and accent better (durrrhhh) and it really test your vocal waahahaha. Aku takde la membenci english songs when karaoke-ing, ade je aku nyanyi lagu english, tapi aku membenci orang melayu yang buat muka habis bajet when kawan kau pilih lagu melayu. Muka macam ni ;

"WTF, you really wanna sing a malay song?"
"OMG i can't stand orang sebelah nyanyi lagu dangdut, bernanah telinga i tau, pls la nyanyi lagu english"

Ala you get what I mean kan. Pls lah. If you're really a mat salleh and u're acting dat way then I won't really mind, but muka kau kalah muka jawa totok lepas tu engkau nak bajet buat muka hina when ur friend picks a malay song. Eh, pegi mati pls.

Okay moving on, next, aku sedikit annoyed bila semua lagu kau nak nyanyi berjemaah sampai tenggelam suara si penyanyi lepas tu microphone tu dah jadi macam dia punya sorang, tak nak langsung pass kat orang lain. Ok ni aku terpaksa annoyed dengan kadar sedikit sahaja sebab i do the same thing wahahahahahahha. Can't help it sometimes because I really love singing, biarpun suaraku dituduh sengau. But I occasionally pass the microphone to other friends okay ahahaha tapi part nyanyi berjemaah tu cannot be helped la sometimes ahahha OK OK will try untuk turn my mouth into silent mode bila orang lain punya turn nyanyi wahahahha.

Sometimes, kau tengok tajuk lagu yang kawan kau pilih kau macam tak tau what song is that. Tapi bila keluar je music, masing-masing "wehhhhhh aku tau lagu niiiii!!!" and then masing2 berjemaah nyanyi ramai2 weh. Hampa si pemilih lagu sebab suaranya bakal ditenggelami nyanyian berjemaah rakan2. -___-"

Oh basically those are the three things that annoy me to death lah when karaoke-ing. Orang yang meroyan pilih lagu untuk dia sorang, amalaynicans who's allergic to rock kapak songs or dangdut or whatever malay songs when karaoke-ing and lastly, orang yang semua lagu pun ada suara dia lepas tu microphone stays with him and only him dari awal sampai habis. Pergh.

Well, to me karaoke if the time for me to enjoy so I want to avoid annoying things like this as much as possible la kan and I'm sure orang lain especially pengkaraoke tegar seperti aku pun tak puas hati jugak kalau ade member2 yang terkinja2 buat perangai camni when karaoke-ing so pls take note okay the next time when u go karaoke-ing.

Some of my lagu2 kegemaran when karaoke-ing ;
1. bulan cinta (amelina)
2. zombie (the cranberries)
3. what's up (4 non blondes)
4. semua lagu ziana zain especially anggapanmu
5. teratai layu di tasik madu (fauziah latiff)
6. memori daun pisang (amelina and iwan)
7. semua lagu awie ahahahahaha especially di penjara janji LOL
8. kau yang bernama seri (handy black)
9. teringin (shima)
10. salam untuk kekasih (nadia) - new favourite
11. segenggam setia (rahmat) - new favourite
12. senggol-senggolan (mas idayu)
13. tenda biru (dessy ratnasari)

ok pls lah dun ask "are u like a big fan of dangdut?" and "do u even listen to dangdut songs when driving or studying or whatnot?" ahahahahhaha no i'm not a big fan of dangdut tapi i dunno why i suka karok lagu dangdut. macam best and macam fun. tak ke? and suka jugak nyanyi lagu2 ala2 mencabar vocal mcm lagu ziana zain ke, lagu nicky astria ke, aishah ke, awie keee, ahahaha and memang mencabar sampai nk terkeluar anak tekak tapi layan sajes.

and there's one thing about me when karaoke-ing, lepas karok 3-4 jam, mesti sakit pinggang. i think it's because i tend to nyanyi dengan posisi aneh untuk pengeluaran suara yang mantap haha. bila tanya orang lain diorang ade saket pinggang tak lepas karok, semua cam, "pehal nak saket pinggang lak kau nyanyi pakai ape weh?" ahaha ok ok so ini special case. harap maklum.

latest pic of me karaoke-ing

Troubled Relationship

Have you watched Lagenda Budak Setan(LBS)? Don't worry I'm not here to make a boring review on this movie but I'd like to write about something that is very much related to this movie. It's okay if you haven't watched this movie, I'll make you watch a simpler version of what I'm trying to convey, or precisely, what I'm trying to make you see in this video clip. It's Love The Way You Lie by Eminem feat Rihanna. Proceed after you have watch either one of these.

So have you realize just yet the similarities that these two have? In LBS, Azmi was Ayu's psychotic ex-boyfriend who continued to stalk her and made her marry him unwillingly. He was portrayed as an alcoholic who beats his wife on regular basis and still claim that he loves her unconditionally.

Similarly, in Eminem's video clip, the couple was seen beating each other, probably cursing into each other's face before they started to kiss and make out and yes, the same cycle repeats.

The only difference in these two is that Ayu wanted to get away from Azmi after all that he did to her but in that video clip, beautiful Megan chose to stay in that troubled relationship though she did make few attempts to runaway from the troubled relationship.

So tell me, is it really love?

If it's not love, why do we see Azmi crying and mourning over Ayu's death by her grave at the end of the movie? And if it's not love, why does the beating-cursing-kissing-and-making-out cycle repeats itself in the video clip and the runaway attempt by Megan failed as the guy pulled her back into his arms?

Trust me, this doesn't only happen in movies, it happens in real life and it is really love. But some people just don't know how to show their love the right way. And ask me, why would you wanna stay in a troubled relationship? What good does it do to you?

Sometimes, a troubled relationship lasts longer than a smooth normal relationship. Because after all the troubles you've gone through, after all the beating and cursing, you still decide to stay with each other and it is a proof that the love is really strong that even the endless beating and cursing can't separate the two of you.

What actually hold you together? It's actually quite tricky to produce this in words but all I can say is, it's the combination of mutual interests, mutual understanding, sharing of some (or a lot) crazy thoughts and experiences together, and that qualities required for you to be able to call someone as your partner-in-crime is what makes you two stick together through thick and thin.

How can you not be beyond comfortable with someone who has all these mutual qualities with you? And as we know, comfort zone is a dangerous zone and at this point, you tend to lose respect, you tend to argue a lot but you'll laugh about it when you're done arguing. It's funny in the beginning but as time passes by, you'll get used to it and you'll be living a troubled relationship making that as your normal routine, just like the couple in that video clip.

But troubled relationship doesn't necessarily means it lacks of love because by the time the relationship gets all troubled, you have already fallen so deeply in love with the other half and that your life has already been all about that person. And so no matter how much it hurts when he curses you, no matter how deep is the wound when he beats you, you'll find a way to forgive and forget and the cycle repeats.

Superficially, it looks stupid. On the eyes of the audience, any couples that continue to love each other in a troubled relationship looks terribly stupid and dumb and blind and foolish. But they say, you'll judge only because you don't know what it feels like to be in that kind of situation. And I'd say, yes it's true because if you really know what it feels like to get stucked in that pathetic situation, you won't wanna judge anyone else ever again.

At the end of LBS movie, Azmi was seen shedding tears by Ayu's grave and that really prove that Azmi's love for Ayu truly exist and he didn't make her marry him just to prove that the best man wins. Though love is all over him, he failed miserably when it comes to showing his love for Ayu.

If the couple in a troubled distorted relationship has finally decided to go separate ways, it's usually harder to kill the love compared to normal smooth kind of relationship because obviously, the love between the two persons is tested far more greater in the troubled relationship as compared to the normal relationship. And hence the hard time that they have to face in moving on.

But true enough, once you lose respect, you'll slowly lose everything. In the end, a relationship needs more than just love as the ingredients for a functioning relationship. No matter how much you love the other person, if you fail to show it the right way, you lose.

To Go Dutch or Not When Dating?

'Going dutch' simply means each person pays for his/her own expenses during a social outing, dating or whatever. For example, if you're going on a date with a girl, you practically split the bill into two and make the two of you pay for the bill equally, or according to what you've ordered. That's what it means by going dutch.

So here's the thing, do you go dutch or not when dating? It's an awkward topic to be discussed but trust me, it is beyond awkward when you're facing this kind of situation when a party opt for going dutch and another don't.

I wish I am that girl who has a traditional belief that a guy should pay for everything when going out for a date with a girl so I don't have to worry a bit about the amount of the bill, about the movie tickets, about the fuel, about everything. It sucks to think about money all the time when you should be concentrating on the date itself. Fortunate for you guys, I'm not one of those girls who turns a blind eye when it comes to money.

It's really nice (for us girls) for a guy to pay for our meal, for the tickets and everything. But as for me, I don't really feel comfortable to let a guy bear all the cost of the date. And I'm sure, despite of the cultural way of thinking that a guy should always pay when going on a date, a guy too, if not much, may be a little uncomfortable if he has to pay for everything every time. Especially if that guy is still studying and has no source of stable income just yet.

So what's the solution? To split the bill into two every time you go on a date? Honestly, though that's the fairest way of all, I don't find it brilliant. I think it's annoying, and erm, stingy too. If you're not in an intimate relationship then it's fine to split the bill into two every time you go out together. But when you're bringing your steady girlfriend out for a date, and you choose to split the bill into two every time, like, EVERY TIME, then there's something wrong with you.

It's not that I believe that a guy should pay everything, but to actually calculate how much you have to pay, and how much I have to pay, that's just not the right way of dealing it especially with your partner.

I'd rather go this way ; the boyfriend pays for the dinner, I'll pay for the movie tickets and the next time we go out, I'll pay for the dinner and he'll pay for the movie tickets. That way, though one person might have had spend extra seringgit or two, or maybe sepuluh ringgit, but hello, you're with the love of your love and you don't make a big deal out of sepuluh ringgit extra issue. Right?

So what about you? Do you prefer to go dutch or not to go dutch when going on a date?

p/s : But once you're a husband, then it's a whole different thing ;p kalau dah jadi laki pun nak berkira, susah la brader.

LELAKI, why so insensitive?!

when a girl tells you she's okay,
and that she's fine,
please lah listen to her tone,
and look at her facial expression,
she's definitely not okay if her tone is somewhat monotonous,
and her voice is low,
she's definitely not okay if she doesn't smile,
and durrhhh a boyfriend is someone who can tell if the smile is fake,

and if you're sensitive enough,
hug her right away,
or hold her hand,
or whatever it isss,
and say, i know you're not! (u know she's not okay lah, pls jgn blur sangat)

eh bole tak lelaki2 sekalian,
stop being insensitive at least to your girlfriend,
or your fiance,
or wife.

because this thing yang u guys panggil 'benda kecik',
can really lead to us rasa 'tawar hati',
and it can definitely lead to break-up.

stop being insensitive,
unless you really want a break-up.

damn it, we girls are serious about this!
GIRLSSSS, WE'RE SERIOUS, KAN??

Incredible India part IV

Everybody knows I hate India to death! Seriously, it's not a place to be. Nobody wants to live in this country. But this time around, let's forget all the hatred I have for this country. This is about humanity. This is about the less fortunate people living in this poor country. This is about survival. This is about India.

You'll be seeing wonderful pictures depicting real life in India. Pictures that speak a thousand words. Oh yeah, Malaysians are becoming so fond of photography lately. Funny thing is, they are soooo fond of shooting female faces (and bods) to the extend of main sebat je model mana pun janji kau perempuan. LOL.

A big LOL indeed. I've been stalking some Malaysian photogs pages with their model sebat, I adore the skill, but the models? -___-" Becoming a model isn't really that hard nowadays LOL.

I beg for Malaysian photographers to wake up and take photos that screams humanity, emotions, life, corruption and love. Pretty faces can wait.

Eh eh, okayyy. Nobody wants to read my craps. This is India, no words, just pictures ;

greedy man. lazy but demanding.

sympathy behind syndicate

beg for hope

"i used to be a manager, but look at me now.."

if only they had been there, they'll understand

man with laws

sleeping beauty

sad angry woman

"we're muslim and we're proud of it"

Don't just look at the pictures, instead, try to comprehend the pictures. The photos really speak a thousand words. And they're all taken here in India, Incredible India.

p/s : These brilliant photos and captions are courtesy of Fairuz Shah who's willing to share his work here in my blog. Thank you for that.

Read Incredible India part I here
Read Incredible India part II here
Read Incredible India part III here

Dirty Little Secrets

No matter how busy we are, we'll still have time to judge other people and no matter how wrong we are, we'll still think we have the right to judge other people. I think it's normal to judge because we all do it.

The only one thing I think is wrong about judging is to judge our own best friends. Because most of the time, best friends know more about you than your boyfriend does. Well at least that's true enough for me. I sure share a lot of things with my boyfriend, but with best friends, there's just no limit to what I wanna share.

Nobody's really an angel at heart. But being an angel with filthy soul is not something you wanna be proud of. You don't share your dirty little secrets with the public, you share it only with your best friends, because you trust them, because best friends don't judge.

The whole world has been acting like they're the judges and that's already depressing enough. The least thing you could do is not to add up some more to the one you call best friend :)

we girls have amnesia :D

we girls are very forgetful,
we forget things all the time,
we forget about almost anything and everything,

therefore,

we need to be reminded again and again,
of how much you love us.

we need to be reminded again and again,
of how much you adore us.

we need to be reminded again and again,
of how much you miss us.

we need to be reminded again and again,
of how much you need us.

we need to be reminded again and again,
of how important we are in your life.

we need to be reminded again and again,
of the reasons why you love us.

we need to be reminded again and again,
that life sucks without us.

because if you don't do that,
we'll forget.

because we girls suffer from amnesia,
so deal with it, guys!

there's this girl, the one and only wonder of this world :)

,


can't get enough of this song!!
the lyrics is just..awesome!
senyum sampai esok :))))

Incredible India Part III

Semalam, hidup aku dekat India diperkotak-katikkan. It was just like a joke. But Indian jokes are not funny, Indian jokes adalah jenaka paling brengset.

I woke up yesterday morning (well, afternoon) to an sms from a friend, she wrote something like this :

"Ira, exam commed esok postpone rabu depan sebab india ade strike"

Macam tak cayeee, tapi bila bukak facebook, semua orang pun buat status happy2 sebab the admin postpone our exam to the next Wednesday. Wah, time tu rasa senangnya dalam hatiiiii. Confirm la tu memang exam postpone. Bahagia.

Just so you know, commed is community medicine and this exam is no joke. This is our 2nd internal assessment which means our marks carry a portion till our final exam so it is clearly a serious exam. I mean, bukan la stok exam yang kau boleh buat perangai malas nak ambik sebab bukan effect carry marks or anything pun. Nah, ini exam memang bermakna buat final kami-kami sekalian.

So, since mereka telah men-postpone-kan examku kepada Rabu depan, maka adalah kerugian yang maha besar kalau tak menggunakan masa yang ada untuk pergi tukar duit ringgit and beli saree yang orang kirim. Kalau tak, kena tunggu sampai 1 day before my departure time to Malaysia barulah I will have the time to do all those things. But thank god, exam got postponed. Thanks to the upcoming strike. Suka suka

And so I went out. Struggle cari saree orang. Business beb. Lepas tu struggle bargain for the cheapest rate to change my rupees to ringgit. Done. It was around 6pm, tengah order iced tea and blueberry cheese cake when an sms came in ;

"Ira, ko tau tak esok exam jadi balik sebab india tak jadi strike esok, diorang nak strike hari rabu kot"

Cilakak.

Dah 6pm, baru order makanan, from that place to my house ade la dalam 30-40 mins, sampai rumah kau ingat aku boleh terus terkam buku ke? Penat lagi, pening bau asap auto lagi, nak mandi lagi. Brengset. Ingat peperiksaan Bahasa Melayu ke boleh taram buat esei "Bapakku kawin lagi".

In community medicine, you have to memorize facts and to memorize facts you need to have clear mind and how do I have clear mind knowing that I can only start studying the most pon at 9pm (lepas dah tolak mandi, rehat express, tido express) and I have 3 really big chapters to cover?

Seriously, pernah terjadi ke dalam sejarah hidup orang lain di mana exam telah ditunda dengan confidentnya tapi last minute nanti dia kata exam tak jadi tunda. I don't think so. This can only happen in India, coz in India, nothing is impossible.

That's why they call it Incredible India.

p/s : well I hope that makes us all incredible medical students.

In case you missed Incredible India part I and part II, you can click here and here.

Hawaiian Birthday Party!!

Sorry for the lack of updates. Been busy ;p no, not studying. Haha. I have sooooo much things pending in my head to be written in this blog but I've been busy doing other things and bila tak busy, the internet connection was being a bitch.

Not gonna write much in this post. Just an update about Sheila's birthday party. It was a hawaiian-themed birthday party at her house. And yes, it was a surprise. I had to put up and act to actually surprise her. And it went well :)

Introducingggg, the birthday girl and me (okay gambar sendiri harus la ada di mana2 sahaja)

And here are the party managers. Mary and I :)

Well we didn't wanna cook because everyone pun dah penat masak untuk raya open house hari tu so we decided to just order some pizzas, and goreng nuggets. That's all =)

And berkugiran with Maryyyyyy....

And berposing-an with birthday girl. Ohhh, yes, saya lah orang yang struggle cari buah kelapa itu. Habis hawaiian aaaaaaaa.

And the backdropppp, all thanks to Ninot, Denin, Am and Husna. I tolong buat 'ALOHA' ;p ok la tu kan, party manager busy buat benda lain ;p

And there were games tooo ; limbo, twister and hula hoop. And ada aktiviti superstitious di mana kami telah mempredict umur kitorang kawin and bilangan anak menggunakan rantai emas saye sendiri. Aktiviti ini telah dikelolakan oleh tok bomoh Denin dan tok bomoh Nadia. Bomoh sesat dekat party hawaiii weiii. But don't worry, it was just for the lol. Nobody believes in it anyway.



And lastly, I gotta take some time off from the internet because I have big exam coming up in 2 days time. But it doesn't feel 'big' at all. All I know is I can't wait for Malaysia!!!!!

Aidilfitri in Bangalore, India :)

Raya falls on Saturday, sehari lambat daripada Malaysia. It's always like that. Orang kat Malaysia dah sebok2 raya we in India still kena puasa lagi sehari. So btw, after the pre-raya celebration at Mcna's, me and some girls balik kampung. Kampung konon-konon je. Kitorang sleepover rumah Husna malam raya tu. Kiranya Husna jadi nenek and we all jadi cucu2 la. I siap bawak baju raya terus k sebab nak bersiap kat sane je. Baru meriah sket kan ;p

Disebabkan kegagalan mencari bunga api, maka malam raya kitorang disajikan dengan cerita hindustan. Dahla raya dekat India, malam raya pun tengok cerita India. Tapi korang jangan sceptical dengan cerita hindustan k. Cerita hindustan sekarang bukan jenis guling2 bukit macam dulu, now most cerita hindustan adalah berkisar tentang humanity, race and religion discrimination, so on and so forth. So, hate to admit but yeah, bollywood is much better than malaywood. Ehhhhh apesal aku lari topic???! I am supposed to talk about my raya in Bangalore, sekali terpromote cerita hindustan plakkkss!

OK maka kitorang tidur beramai2 depan TV. Dengan segala miraclenya, kitorang semua bangun at 6 am okayyy. Melantak nasik himpit dengan rendang lepas tu semua bantai tido balik. Golongan mulia bangun la around 7 ke 8 camtu kot, pergi sembahyang raya, golongan hampas membuta sampai pukul 11 pagi. Punah impianku untuk merasa suasana pagi raya bermaaf-maafan sesama rakan taulan dan bergambar ala2 keluarga bahagia. Penat je tau lantik Husna jadi nenek, Fatin jadi atuk, kitorang cucu2, last2 cucu2 kene tinggal terbongkang kat rumah tatkala atuk nenek pergi menunaikan sembahyang raya.

So, gambar di pagi raya memang haram takde. Gambar di tengahari raya ade lah. This is the pic tatkala baru melangkah keluar rumah, make up pun still tebal di muka muka kami lol. Tunggu sat lagiii, caiq semua make-up.


On our way to Sanjay Nagar, ada open house my batch. The food was soooooo much my stomach can't handle it. Semua ada ok? Nasik himpit, rendang, kuah kacang, laksa, mee kari, nasik ayam, lontong yada yada. Tapi sedap sedap! Ni gambar2 di sekitar rumah Tikah and Mimi at Sanjay Nagar.




Then, pulang ke Gokula, ada lagi satu open house budak my batch jugak. Time ni dah tak larat menyumbat makanan heavy. Makan kuih muih sajes. Perut haruslah di jaga. Kalau dah tak boleh stretch, usah di paksa kerana ia mengakibatkan kebuncitan yang hodoh. Well, ni dekat rumah Shasha, Tikah Hamdan and Baya.


And lepas dah kenyang semuaaaa, baru teringatttt "eh koranggg, kite tak tangkap lagi gmbar untuk salam perantauan next year!!" Padahal time ni memang dah tak sesuai langsung nak shoot gambar sebab memasing muka dah kekenyangan lagi kepenatan. Tapi layan kan je. Padahal aku rasa next year we'll be celebrating raya in Malaysia. Rasenye lahhh! Ni lah konon-konon gmbar salam perantauan next year.

OK OK then by evening, balik rumah terus terbongkang till malam. Malam tu I kena pergi rumah Ninot nak buat chocolate cake sebab esoknya kitorang punye open house pulakkk. Ninot prepared the ingredients while I did the mixing. Mengantuk amat k mmg nak tertidur2 time mixing tu.

So as I mentioned, the next day bersamaan 2nd day raya, was our open house pulak. It was held at Nadia's place. Erm nothing much I guess. So just enjoy the pictures lah!







And after this open house, maka tamat sudah sambutan Aidilfitri di Bangalore. Sebab the 3rd day raya sudah ada class and clinical posting. Kami selaku warga berjiwa kental pun datang la ke kelas untuk menuntut ilmu. Cewah. Mulia gila ayat. Maka rugilah mereka-mereka yang masih di Malaysia menyambut raya, nampaknya ilmu yang kami pelajari hari ni agak melimpah ruah.

The best part of raya is, you get to be together :) I suka la leh lepak2 with everyone from my batch. It wud be sooooo much nicer if dapat celebrate raya together with the seniors and juniors jugak. It's always good to get out of your own little world sometimes , kan? Let's hope for a better raya celebration next year! Much love, tataaaa!!

Pre-raya Celebration in Bangalore

Guess everyone is still in raya mood kan, unfortunately we have started our classes today, on 3rd day of raya. Heee. Ku tabahkan jiwa dan raga jugak pergi ke kelas hari ni. Cewah, padahal tak rase pe mende pun, pegi je la dey. Apa ada hal?

So btw, demi menceriakan blogku yang kusam dan masam, I'll be uploading raya pics yang tak seberapa ni. Gambar adalah hasil usaha sama dengan Blackberry Am. I didn't bring my camera sebab cameraku sudah pun berusia 3 tahun, paham2 je la, 7 mega pixel jer, segan deyyy, camera orang lain mantap2 gitu. So let's start off with the pre-raya celebration here in Bangalore.


Okay la, seriously, nothing much pun. Hehe. The plan was to break the fast at Mcna's house but semua pun cam kalut sket tak siap masak lagi so cam around 7.30pm la kot baru leh makan dengan riang gembira. Before 7.30pm tu memasing cuit sikit kek la, cuit kuih la ape lah. Lapar kottt. Kata puasaaa! Oh ohhh, satu tragedi menyayat hati juga took place at Mcna's house di mana telah berlaku kebakaran sebab somebody tuang petrol (eh?) masa nak start the fire utk bakar satay. Ok time korang cerita ni aku dah mamai2 so kalau tersilap info do correct me ;p Tapi, Mimi telah bertindak sepantas kilat dengan melenyapkan kebakaran tersebut dengan melemparkan her blanket. Maka, problem solved. Tapi bak kata Aina, beliau sudah cuak gila takut nanti keluar berita '9 orang pelajar jurusan perubatan di Bangalore rentung dalam kejadian kebakaran menghidupkan api satay'. Rentung ok lagi kot Aina? Haha. So, get the idea? Mane tak kalut kan?

So as you can see, it was an all-girls gathering. Hehe. The guys pun ada pot luck jugak time ni. I prepared sambal ikan bilis untuk dimakan along with lontong ;p Ada banyak gak makanan lain, rendang, kuah kacang, nasik himpit, nasik hujan panas, ayam percik, acar, satay, banyak laaa! Sampai tak termakan semua.

Time ni dah pasang lagu2 raya. Siap ngan lampu lip lap lip lap. Ada gantung2 ketupat jugak. Kasi rasa sket suasana hari raya. Well, at least terubat la rasa sedih tak balik raya tu kan. Kental ok. Fatin prepared a raya video, saje mau kasi feeling2. Hehe. Lepas tu, kami berkaraoke lagu raya, tapi pakai youtube je -__-" and penyanyi utama tak lain tak bukan adalah pencapub nombor 1 Bangalore, Baz.

Oh ohhhh, kalau anyone of you rasa cam kenal je baju yang I pakai tu, yesss, tu baju raya 2 tahun lepas harap maklum. Material adalah kain silk saree with stones. Exclusive youuu, kalau nak order saree, let me know coz I'm going back dis October. Jangan lepaskan peluang anda. Eh ehhh. Sorry ter-iklan saree plak. Ni susah kalau business-minded sangat. Tapi jangan lupe k calling2 kalau nak saree.

Time ni rasa thankful sangat that we actually have each other di perantauan. Yelah, bayangkan u have to celebrate raya alone? Tak ke sadis? To tell you the truth, celebrating raya abroad is not all that bad, as long as you have your friends with you :) It was, well, I can say, a wonderful experience. Compared to raya celebration masa I was in my first year, this year's celebration is so so so so so so much betterrrrr!!

Sekian dulu saya melaporkan perkembangan hari raya di Bangalore. Khas buat rakan-rakan yang struggle pulang ke Malaysia untuk menyambut raya terutama sekali buat Denin classmateku yang belot pulang raya di Malaysia dengan ucapan, jangan bawak balik budu je deh, kuih raya dan kerepek2 raya jgn lupe deh!

More to come soon!

India tak raya lagi k -__-"

Eeeee kalau ikut hati rasa tanak wish raya tau. Kitorang kat India belum raya lagi, esok hari Sabtu baru raye, tengah puasa lagi k ni.

Okla, I'm being rational, not driven by emotion so here goes ;

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI TO ALL OF YOUUU DEAR READERS AND FOLLOWERS...

p/s : untuk ucapan sila refer Utusan Malaysia 20th August 2010. Haha struggle, just scroll down and u'll see ;p

Okay it's 11am and I just woke up. Tidur lambat malam tadi. And seriously, I'm expecting some calls from Malaysia to wake me up this morning, to wish me raya la kasi feeling2 sket though India has yet to celebrate Aidilfitri, and sad to say, I received none. NONE. NONE.

Not even from abah, not from mummy, not from the sisters and not even from boyfriend. NONE of 'em remember me on pagi raya and I am soooo..terasa. Haha....

I'm trying to convince myself that diorang busy sangat2 or takde credit or busy sangat2 or takde credit or busy sangat2 or tkde credit or busy sangat2 or memang lupe kat I or tkde credit or busy sangat2 or dah tak sayang I or tkde credit or memang tak nak wish I raya.

OK tak lawak. I'm being a sick emo child/girlfriend this morning but I think it's acceptable. Tak ke? Tak ke? Tak ke weiii? If you're reading this and you have a sister or brother or mother or father or girlfriend or boyfriend or ex-boyfriend(eh tak) or whoever celebrating raya outside Malaysia, CALL EM RIGHT AWAY AND WISH EM SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR BATIN and tell em the raya is not as meaningful without em before they burst into tears (like me) boooooo. It doesn't matter la diorang raya esok ke lusa ke tulat ke.

OK la. Nak sambung merajuk. Bawak diri sket. Boooo.

OK OK, saya macho. Tak jadi merajuk. Tak heran laaaa weiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Bye nak gi salon. Blueks.

Sahur di Rumah vs Sahur di Perantauan

This is my fourth Ramadhan in Bangalore, India termasuk first time puasa time aku baru fly dulu2. Ceh, ayat nak 'dulu2..', habis nostalgic la tu kan. Pejam celik pejam celik, tak lame lagi nak masuk 4th year dah aku ni.

Aku ni jenis manusia yang memang malas nak bangun sahur. Kalau takde makanan sedap, tak payah kejut aku bangun sahur, malas! Time dekat boarding school and KMS dulu pun, aku memang tak layan sangat bersahur-sahur ni. Aku akan try bangun sahur sekali, and bile dapat tau makanan dewan makan menghampakan lagi mengecewakan, terus aku tak bangun2 sahur dah. Same macam dekat India ni, bulan puasa kali ni aku pernah bangun sahur sekali ni. Pastu ade la 2-3 kali terjaga time sahur, rembat la kurma barang sebijik dua. Nasib la aku jenis manusia yang tahan je puasa walaupun tak sahur.

Tapiiii, kalau dekat rumah, aku sukeeeeeeee sangat sahurrrr! Selalunye kitorang tak beli or masak makanan lain pun untuk sahur. Selalunye leftover time berbuka tu la dijadikan sahur. Kenape saye suke sahur dekat rumah? Sebabbbb, mak masak sedap! Selalunye orang tak lalu nak makan berat2 time sahur kannn, tapiiii, aku boleh tambah 2-3 pinggan time sahur kat rumah wahahaha. Adalah kerugian yang maha besar kalau tak sahur kat rumah sebab kalau tak makan time sahur, nanti adik2 aku yang tak puase (dulu la, sekarang memasing dah besar panjang, pehal nk buat gedik tanak puase plak?!) akan habiskan makanan sedap masakan mak aku di siang hari. Maka untuk mengelakkan kejadian sebegitu rupe, aku sanggup bangun sahur and makan sampai lebam time sahur. Padan muke dorang takde makanan siang-siang.

Lepas tu, aku suke sahur dekat rumah sebab time sahur ni je la aku nak merasa layanan istimewa mak aku. Wahahahahaha. Selalunye my dad yang rajin nk mengejut kitorang sahur. Susah woo kejut kitorang sahur. Memasing liat (kecuali aku) Sementare nak tunggu dorang bangun tu, kau terpaksa tahan telinga dengar bunyi-bunyi aneh (aka rengekan malas bangun dorang ni) lepas tu siap ngan aksi-aksi menggeliat lagi. Haa, bagitau, bapak mane rajin nak tunggu anak bangun sahur smpai berjam-jam? (OK exaggerate je berjam-jam tu)

Honestly, walaupun aku slalu bangun sahur, tapi aku jarang gile tolong mak aku sediakan makanan semua. Panaskan lauk, hidang lauk, buat air. Haram. Ya rabbi anak dara jenis ape tah ni. Yelah, dari katil aku nak pergi ke meja makan kat bawah pun mata aku bukak sipi2 je. Nanti dah smpai kat meja makan, kalau makanan tak siap hidang lagi, aku sambung lentok atas meja makan sampai la mak aku tanye "Kakak nak air ape?" Haaaa, layanan istimewa k! Kau ingat time lain mak aku nak offer ke buat air untuk aku? Time sahur je la nak merasa dimanjakan macam budak kecik wahahaha. Lagi satu time aku baru landing kat Malaysia, sampai2 rumah pun dapat layanan istimewa hahaha.

Then sahur sampai lebam. Kalau my mom tak bangun sahur, my dad will take over the job. He will heat up the lauk and all, hidang semua, buat air lagi kalau dia rajin. Have I told you that my dad is a good cook? He really is :) Selalunye kalau makanan tu tak kene ngan tekak aku pun, contohnye ikan masin ngan nasik putih for sahur tonite, aku selalunye bangun sahur jugak nak teman my parents. Erm okay, tetibe rasa syahdu plak.

Dekat sini, bangun sahur takde sape nak layan aku. Orang kejut pun nak tak nak. LOL padahal my housemates sume dah masak with my perangai yang memang malas nak bangun sahur sebab tu diorang pun tak beria kejut aku. Kat sini nak bangun sahur kau kena set jam sendiri, panaskan lauk sendiri, kalau nasib tak baik kau kena sahur sorang2 dengan TV, toksah mimpi nak minum air fancy2 sebab takde siapa kuasa nak offer buatkan air sedap untuk kau so kau teguk je la air masak dari botol 2 litres tu.

You might wanna ask, kenapa tak balik je rumah time bulan puasa ni haaa? Hahaha serious tak tau wehhh! Kenapa tak balik raya pun tak tauuuu! Tak faham jugakkk! Tapi cam maybe jugak I need my own experience kot berpuasa, bersahur and beraya di perantauan. Ceh, padahal bulan puasa kan sebulan, kalau balik setakat seminggu, 3 minggu kau puasa kat India gak. Experience gak. Hahah yelah yelah. Cakap la pape pun.

I'd sayyy "Saje nak kasi abah ngan mak syahdu sket aku tkde time bulan puasa, time sahur ngan time raye. Biar diorang rindu sampai lebam"

Hmmm, padahal aku yang tengah syahdu sekarang. Yang tengah rindu sampai lebam, aku jugak. Tetttt! -___-"

me, lately.

i need to save as much money as i could for next year's big mission! i am going on a vacation with my best friendssss!! nothing is confirmed just yet but julie and ika are going to buy their flight tix very very soon so i'm assuming everything's gonna run smoothly! in the meantime, i'm hoping that nadd and fatin get their schedule asap so they too can buy the flight tix and join us! about muz, i wish she could just cancel or postpone her trip to phuket and join us. well, we'll see how it goes.

i'm all excited about this! helloooo vacation with best friends is something we've been dreaming since high school! and no we're not talking about vacation to pulau perhentian or tioman or singapore or the jiran tetangga. heee. but i shall announce the places to go once everything is confirmed :D






in the meantime, i'm coping well with LDR. but i gotta cut down a bit on sms and direct phone calls coz dat causes hole(s) in pockets. thanks to skype, we do video-calling almost every night so far hee. in LDR, all you need is effort to keep in touch and trust :) that will suffice the basics la kot. and they say distance makes the heart grows fonder, well well, it's so true in my caseee :)


and ramadhan is ending soon, my batchmates are going back to malaysia to celebrate aidilfitri pretty soon. i'll be here and i still can't believe myself. ira that i know won't wanna stay afar from family especially on festive season la. come on, i went back home EVERY single weekend when i was in KMS, i even went back home when all i got was outing till 6pm when i was in boarding school. and now i didn't even wanna try to go back home for raya? i must be nuts.

and i've been skipping lots of classes lately. especially my surgery posting. malas weyyy. malas satu hal, takde mood jugak. hari ni pun bangun tidur 2pm tu pun sebab lil dinosour msg kalau tak mmg takde semangat nak bangun tidur pun. hahaha. musim kemalasan dah datang la ni. mati la attendance ku. nanti mesti menggelupur nak kene catch up attendance. asal la kau suke men-adventurous-kan hidup kau iraaa!

so, that very much sum up everything bout me and my latest update. haha perlu ke? lol. suke hati la. not really in the mood to really write something. only in the mood to miss people that i love. hehehe.

akhir kata dari saya buat saya sendiri, mari berjimat cermat to the max jangan keluar 1 sen pun! yeayyy! last time masa determine gila kumpul duit, pergh hasilnya memberansangkan. kali ni pasti berjaye lagi! i dun mind takde baju raye kasut raye rambut raye janji aku kaye time vacation nnt ;p hahahah till then, daaa!

if you choose to live, then you choose to move on.

warning : ini entri berbaur sentimental. sekiranya anda seorang rockstar tegar, i advise you not to go on reading k. today, ini rockstar tetiba mahu layan balada. zassss!

love isn't always the greatest gift. yes love takes you high, so high that you won't wanna step on real world ever again. but they say, the higher you get, the greater is the fall. and when love takes you down, there's no easy way to get up.

a failed relationship is not as simple as it sounds. bila kau dah cinta orang separuh mati, dah berjanji sehidup semati and all of sudden you have to let go everything, i swear to god, it's not easy. they say, don't play with fire, buruk padahnya. well same goes, jangan berani bermain cinta if you don't know what love really is.

i don't say things that i heard. i don't just write things that i read because honestly, i know how it feels like to be at the top of the world with all the love that showers you. tapi, aku juga pernah rasa the greatest fall. the greatest fall yang aku tak pernah jangka, apa lagi bersedia. yes, i never was prepared for that greatest fall.

yes i'm talking about my failed relationship. it was a 5 years relationship. just imagine, dari zaman aku ambil PMR, sampai ke SPM, zaman kegemilangan habis sekolah sampai lah ke zaman aku ambil IB (International Baccalaureate), i was obliged to love only one person. not because i have to, but it was because i wanted to. it started with a typical kind of puppy love, but it got serious as i grew older, and the love got stronger as the relationship got older.

they say i was too young to love. but heck they don't even know what i feel when they fucking say that. and tak perlulah aku ulas dengan panjang lebar the reason of our break-up, it's enough to say that it wasn't because of any other third party. it wasn't a clean break-up. it was one hell of disaster when it occurred to me, or us. yes, both of us. we didn't ask for it, but we couldn't go on any further and that left us with break-up as the only option.

it didn't took me days to recover. not even months. it was longer than that. i made a bet that it was gonna take me maximum 1 year to recover but i lost to my own bet. it was longer than that. moving on isn't as easy as spelling it, or saying it.

bullshit la kepada mereka yang hanya tahu cakap "kau ni tak reti2 ke nak move on dey" because seriously, kalau kau arif sangat perihal 'move on', kau takkan sampai hati untuk berkata macam tu dengan orang yang sedang patah hati. it's always better to shut up, then to let out such a thing to heartbroken people because it hurts to death and really, saying those kind of thing simply means you're inviting a bitch slap on your pretty face.

of course, at this crucial moment, you'll need all the support in the world to go on living. the first few weeks (or months?) was the most difficult time. i can't even go to places we used to hang out together coz i'll end up visualizing the time we used to spend and finally, i'll end up soaking in gallons of tears. and by places we used to go, i meant the whole of shah alam even the pasar malam has its own sweet memories.

months past by, i got a little better. of course, my besties are those who were at rescue when i needed someone to listen to me or to give me advices. they don't judge me like others. and at this recovery period, it's normal to find that your heart doesn't sync well with your brain. whatever that your brain thinks might be good for yourself doesn't make any sense to the heart. well, it's something you can't escape. gotta deal with it.

but true enough. you can't push urself to move on. it's just a matter of time. the quote 'time will heal' is not for nothing, it has worked on me so must work on you too, heartbroken ppl. the only problem is, you can't decide when u're gonna heal but have some faith, tell yourself that someday you'll be fine again. in the mean time, you know committing suicide is not worth it because the next day, or next week, or next month, you'll be back on your own 2 feet, standing tougher than ever before.

but please, if you have friends yang sedang heartbroken, don't push 'em to move on and forget everything. it's not gonna work. it's not gonna help him/her to get away even from the slightest pain by saying that. it's annoying okay kalau kau setakat reti cakap "ala putus cinta je bukan ape pun" wtf you make urself clear that you dunno wtf love is.

during the recovery period, i woke up in the morning and still mourning over the loss. i did lots of things to distract myself, laughed out loud to cover up the pain but truth is, there was still a hole in my heart. there wasn't a single love song that doesn't remind me of the past and though it pains the hell out of me, i kept listening and i kept allowing the past to pass through my train of thoughts. some might have caught me shedding some tears at the most awkward moment ever.

but now, i can smile as i look back, no more shedding tears as i remember the past. it's over and done with. i'm done mourning hee. aku sudah move on dengan hidup aku. cukuplah aku stucked in the past for @$!%! already. god knows exactly how long i had to deal with it. dulu aku ingat aku takkan pernah move on, but now i proved myself wrong. and if you ever feel like you can never move on, you're wrong. it's just a matter of time. as for now, just take it slow and go with the flow. no pushing.

i'm grateful that i'm blessed with people who are sincere to be with me today. be it best friends or boyfriend, they're all amazing people. they helped me get through my darkest moment. and i'm sure, you have your army too, they'll support you in everything you do so don't ever think you can't move on. if you choose to continue living, then u actually choose to move on :)

p/s : i intended to write in malay but i end up writing mostly in english. tettt. not so balada la.

LABELLING

i once did the labelling thingy on my blog to assist you (and myself, of course) searching for my old blog posts but it didn't turn out fine until recently, finally, i succeeded in forcing myself to do the fixing ;p

so, the labels are on the left column of this blog. though it's still a bit messy here and there, it's a lot better than the previous one hehe. here goes ;

MYbrainISnotYOURS - is mainly posts about my own radical opinion. all are authentically my opinion/thoughts so it may/may not be controversial so read at your own risk (just like how i wrote it on my own risk teehee) don't bother to read if you're the type of person who can't seem to accept other ppl's opinion yea? it's an early warning.

experienceMAKESaPERSON - as the label suggests, all posts under this label mainly revolves around my own personal experience. could be my childhood experience, experience as a student yada yada.

GIRLfriends - is basically about me and my friends, our activities, camwhoring session. guy friends also included lah since i dun have that many close guy friends so i dun think it's necessary to create another specific label for guyfriends ;p

BABYbooSUK - teehee. go figure ;p

LOVEisAbitch - my own personal opinion about love and relationship =)

TRAVELogue - as the name suggests, this is where i note down the happy moment i had on my vacation. not really that many lah so dun expect much. no, i haven't been to bora-bora so let's just wait for another, say, 4-5 years? ;p (hint : honeymoon)

ROFL - rolling on floor laughing, well, at least for me haha.

belovedFAMILY - bout daddy, mummy, kak long, amir, aisyah, sarah, baby. all of em!

TIPSandTRICKS - random tips and tricks from me to you. dun expect a professional tips and tricks pls? ;p but no harm in giving urself a try either!

so yeah, we're done here! i'm done labelling!

swinging bowl a.k.a mangkuk hayun part II

remember the series of unfortunate events on 16th July 2010? Hahah i even remember the date. i suck at remembering dates but this one got stucked in my head because it was one really sucky day. really really sucky lah kalau tak percaya you can read it the first part of 'swinging bowl a.k.a mangkuk hayun' here. dat will tell you the whole thing that happened on that particular date.

and on that particular date jugak, i kena amek gambar for my indian driving license. gambar tu telah di ambil directly lepas i bergaduh kaw-kaw punya dengan keling RTO(Regional Transport Officer) ni so memang tak kuasa nak pose ayu or anything. and i did tell you that i look horrible in that picture wahahahahaha. gangster macam sarip dol siotttttt! so this is it, bukti kemarahan i yang sedang membuak2 dekat keling RTO time tu, ni pun dah control sket, kalau tak memang muka sebenar adalah lebih horror. ready?

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tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

horror kan? hahahaha damn tak sanggup jugak tengok muka sendiri sebnanye but layan je lah janji siap jugak. this driving license valid for 20 years, sampai 2030 kau. meaning anytime after i graduate i can come back to india and drive sesuka hati. and it is valid throughout india, so it doesn't matter whether it's in bangalore, tamil nadu, delhi, mumbai, goa or kashmir. cecey. ingat aku kerja bawak lori balak ke nak pergi semua state dekat india ni? cukup la drive dalam bangalore je eh. paling jauh aku plan nak drive pegi chennai. eh? aku plan? or berangan?

and cukup la dah dapat driving license sebijik ni. nak buat license pun macam bala tau tak. tadi pun keling durjana ni nak pau aku rs300 lagi? dia kata itu charge untuk postman hantar license kat rumah tapi kat rumah tkde orang so kene return to RTO office balik. amboi amboi. memang mimpi indah la eh aku nak bagi kau rs10 pun eh. toksahla kau mengharap pape dari aku yang miskin hina ni (tp tadi dorg kate duit dah masuk yeay yeay!)

and aku takkan lupa nama keling yang aku deal ni. he's such a pain in the ass. yes you, LAKSHMI KHAN. aku siap dah hafal caller ring tone kau tau takkk! obviously bukan lagu english, tidak juga lagu hindustan, so mungkin aku dah terhafal lagu bahasa kannada.

p/s : bahasa kannada bukan la bahasa canada seperti yang anda sangkakan. kannada adalah sejenis bahasa di india. untuk makluman anda, india ade byk bahasa eh, hindi, tamil, telugu, urdu, kannada, malayalam, heh, ape tah lagi.

Feeling ke raya di perantauan?

First things first, dah bukak Utusan Malaysia newspaper (20 Aug 2010) bahagian Salam Perantauan? Kalau belum, dalam kiraan 3, pergi bukak sekaranggggg! Sebab korang akan jumpa ni ;

Credit to Muzani for this picture.
I paksa dia tangkapkan gambar ni ;p

Wahahahahah click to enlarge to read the ucapan and all. From left, that's me, Ninot, Baz and Nadia. Ala to my regular readers, korang mesti dah kenal punya muka 3 orang ni, sebab balik2 muka diorang jugak got featured in my blog. Hehe. Yelahhh, they're my cinta hati kat Bangalore ni, tempat bersuka ria dan mengadu domba.

I was the one sending this salam perantauan to Utusan Malaysia through e-mail. Serious tak mengharap sangat pun keluar paper sebab previously, ramai dah kawan I hantar salam perantau ni tapi diorang punya setakat keluar dekat website salam perantau je tapi tak keluar newspaper pun. Obviously beribu2 students hantar oversea hantar especially sape2 yang gila glemer tu. Eh eh.

So if you read the ucapan, wahaahahahaha macam siot. Camane la I bole terfikir nak letak nasi impit, kuah kacang siap dengan rendang dalam ucapan? LOL. Agak2 la Ira oi. Lepas tu, I didn't even write pun family kitorang dekat mana. Patutnya I letak la 'buat keluarga tercinta yang berada di Shah Alam(me), Kuala Terenggan(Ninot),Johor Bahru(Baz),Kuala Lumpur(Nadia)' tapi tah apa punya sengal time tu, tak terfikir pun. Nama pun saje nak testing2 hantar. Tak sangka pulak yang kita testing ni pulak dia nak pilih masuk paper. Sebab lepas hantar dekat Utusan Malaysia, I hantar dekat Berita Harian. Tak tau la dia nak keluarkan ke tak, yang tu ucapan best sket. Hehe. Kalau esok lusa keluar, korang inform la k ;p tapi macam tak je. Cukup la satu eh. Tamak btol kau ni Ira. Sape yang gila glemer skarang? Haha.

Actually, this is my first time hantar Salam Perantauan kat paper. Before this tak pernah pun hantar sebab dah 3 tahun kat sini, first year je I raya dekat Bangalore, tu pun time awal2 fly tu tengah bulan puasa, mane lah reti nak bersalam perantau lagi. 2nd and 3rd year I balik Malaysia time raya. Ada je my friends yang hantar Salam Perantau tapi lepas tu balik raya kat Malaysia, LOL, saje je kan. Tapi I malas la buat gitu, cam tak feeling la plak.

Tapi this year, I tak balik raya. Sebab, kitorang tak cuti. But that's not the point, I kan hero, I bole je ponteng if I want, but the actual reason for me not to balik raya this time is because I nak balik Malaysia in Oct. Lagipun I baru balik Malaysia May lepas. So, I decided to stay in Bangalore for raya 2010. And for that, I pun rasa agak relevan la untuk I hantar Salam Perantauan. No cheating la kan kan kan. Hehehe.

And I jugak takde buat baju raya pun tahun ni. Nanti raya, I pakai baju biru tu jugak. Tu baju raya I tahun lepas. Tak pun I godek2 la baju lain, pakai je ape yang ade kot. Tapi tak tau la kalau last minute tetiba I nak buat baju raya kan ;p but it's very unlikely lah. Paling2 pun I nak beli kasut raya je kot. Tapi India ni hopeless sikit kalau pasal kasut2 ni, memang susah nak jumpa high heels yang I berkenan and kalau I jumpa pun, selalunya harge mahal gileeeeeeee!

Feeling ke raya di perantauan? I rasaaaa, feeeling sebab sedihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(( First year raya dekat Bangalore, perghhh memang nak menitik2 air mata pagi raya bila housemates pasang lagu raya sebab bangun2 tido je pagi raya, abah takde, mak takde, adik2 pun takde. So macam, sedihnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Dahla first year raya tu I baru je lagi datang Bangalore, nak masak grand2 macam rendang ke kuah kacang ke memang la aku tak reti kan. Time tu siap bawak kuah kacang instant, loser gila siot.

The thing about India is, India ni biasanya akan puasa and raya lambat sehari daripada Malaysia. So time first year dulu, kitorang dah start puasa ikut time Malaysia, tapi bila Malaysia dah raya, India tak raya lagi. So kitorang tanya la orang2 yg pandai agama, diorang kata kita tak payah puasa on the last day (hari yang Malaysia dah raya) tapi kita tak boleh raya lagi. Paham tak? So that pagi raya yang sepatutnya tu, I dengan segala blurnya tak tau nak buat apa, nak puasa tak boleh, nak raya tak boleh, so I siap bole pegi funfair dengan little dinosour. Funfair tu bukan best pun. Bosan nak mati. Ala, Funworld (budak Bangalore tau la) Gila loser kan pagi raya pegi Funworld. Hahaha.

But this year dengar plan cam meriah je. Macam la. Sebab macam banyak open house. I'm looking forward for it! Mintak2 la diorang masak sedap2. Hehehe. Benda paling best time raya is makan sedap je la. Sebab to those who know me closely, mesti tau yang I takde kampung sebab I dah takde atuk and nenek dekat 2-2 sides. So kitorang dah bertahun2 gak la raya dekat Shah Alam je. Nak kumpul adik beradik belah abah or mak tu time pagi raya susah sikit, sebab masing2 pun ada in-law masing2 kan. So we only have each other je la time pagi raya tu. Yeah, raya I memang tak meriah macam family orang lain pun. Kesian kannn kitorang?

So selalunya pagi raya tu pakai baju raya pun just buat cukup syarat je. Sebenarnya tak nak pakai pun takpe sebab bukan ada orang lain pun. Nanti dah tengah hari dah boleh tukar pakai t-shirt balik lepas tu melepek depan TV sampai malam. Tu je la activity raya kitorang. Ala tanak cerita la. Nanti korang kesian kat aku. Or aku kesian kat aku. Nanti sedih je hehe.

But whatever it is, as long as you have your family with you, nothing else would matter anymore. Kan? Tapi this year, I won't have my family around with me on hari raya, they won't have me around jugak, mesti diorang sedihhhh ;p tapi I sedih jugak. Tapi takpe, experience la kan. Takkan every year pun nak balik Malaysia time raya. Nanti dah besar you don't any interesting stories to share with your kids. Macam my dad, dia suka cerita time dia belajar dekat Scotland dulu. Camane dia survive his first time in a foreign country, camana dia spend pagi raya, apa dia makan, his mat salleh friends etc etc.

Abah cerita, dulu time raya, they all will ponteng kelas, pakai baju raya siap songkok samping semua, sewa kereta and go for a road trip with his friends. Macam cool jeee. Sooo, any idea for my raya in Bangalore? :)

Stress belajar? Stress bercinta? Stress berkawan?

Budak sekolah rendah pun reti stress bila cikgu bagi homework math tambah tolak berlambak2, ape lagi aku yang sedang belajar medic dekat negara tak senonoh ni. Tapi time kecik2 dulu aku tak stress sebab kalau ada homework aku buat2 tidur awal lepas tu pagi tu time nak pergi sekolah agama buat2 menggelupur ngadu kat mak aku kate aku tertidur awal homework tak siap lagi, so mak aku pun memberikan bantuan kemanusiaan berupa pertolongan menyiapkan homework math aku. Bangga mak aku ada anak camni -_-"

Lately ade je benda yang nak kasi aku stress. Stress aku merangkumi financial, relationship, friendship and deal ngan keling durjana errgghh tanak cakap pasal keling nanti aku rasa nak pulas puting sekor2 smpai tercabut. Kan dah ada unsur2 stress di situ. So anyway, here are some things that I usually do to kiss the stress away.

1. Nangis sampai mata lebam2 lepas tu tidur. This is the simplest thing I could do to let the burden out of myself. Bunyi macam budak gedik yang cengeng sikit2 nak nangis but cengeng tak cengeng, to me, crying is like a defense mechanism. Allah bagi nikmat nangis tu utk legakan hati yang sakit. Tapi in return, aku akan dapat kepala yang pening sebab nangis banyak sangat. Bile dah pening, ape lagi, tidur la. Haha but dun worry, I dun usually cry in front of others. Nangis senyap2 sorang2 sudeyh.
2. Shopping macam orang kaya. When you're able to grab anything and everything atau dalam erti kata lain, beli je semua benda macam kau bini Donald Trump, sumpah boleh buat kau lupa semua mat mat durjana yang sakitkan hati kau, atau kawan2 yang perangai macam cilakas. I can shop from sun to sun, balik rumah terus senyum lebar, tiada lagi air mata tiada lagi lagu2 sayu menemani hari-hariku. Tapi andaikata anda stress disebabkan masalah kewangan, maka this method is not a valid way to kiss away your stress. Tambah stress ade la kak.
3. Chocolates and all sorts of junkfood. I'm not really sure in what way does the chocolates help to alleviate my burden but I would really end up spending so much on chocs and other junkies when I'm down. Serious wei, time kat KMS dulu, kalau aku stress, habis chocolate kat ko-op tu aku rembat lepas tu kunyah choc sampai lebam. Kat sini, kalau nampak aku tetiba beli Ferrero Rocher yg besar tu, memang sah sah la aku tengah stress. Yang sakitnya, kadar kelenyapan choc adalah sepantas kilat. Ferrero Rocher mahal kottt, tapi tu je choc yang aku lalu nak telan kalau kat India ni. What to do? Crunchie mane ade jual kat sini. Ni crunchie yang little dinosour kasi sebulan yang lepas. Sekotak okay dia bagi. Ada la dalam 24 batang. 2 weeks dah habis. Tu pon paksa diri gak nak spacing rate of crunchie consumption. Kalau tak, mau habis dalam masa 5 hari.
4. Karaoke/clubbing/sewaktu dengannya. India mane ade karaoke huhu, tapi apa ada hal, kunci bilik, bukak lagu kuat2 and then get the party started. Sorang pun sorang lah. Consider that as my own private party haha. Hey, I can still have fun on my own okay.
   
5. Drive laju2. It's a bad habit. I think I got this from abah. I remember my dad pernah drive laju gila babi sebab time tu tengah mengamuk ngan anak kesayangan dia ni,aku la.Cuak siottt! But I end up with the same habit. Nanti kan time drive laju2 tu, I'd wish I meet with an accident, masuk hospital sampai semua orang yang buat aku stress tu menyesal gila terus taubat tanak kasi aku stress dah. Tapi so far, kalau agak2 aku dah nak tercium bontot kereta lain, aku brake gak utk selamatkan nyawa sendiri. Haha drama sket. Tapi kalau kat India, mimpi ar nak speeding, kau baru speeding tak sampai seminit dah ade auto bawak 10km/hour kat fast lane, buat tambah stress gua ade la kalo camni. Lagi2 ferrari aku lately agak sentimental sket, suke nak merajuk ngan aku. Haihhh, baru ku tahu erti kepayahan membela kereta. Boyfriend aku pun tak senti camni
6. Peaceful place. Secluded beach adalah the most effective place for me to forget all the stress in the world. My dad kalau bawak kitorang pegi laut, mesti dok risau aku hilang sebab aku suka nak hilang tiba2 dekat pantai. Saje je, sentimental sorang2 sket. Tapi nama pun duduk tengah bandar, banyak demand aku nak carik laut everytime aku stress. So contoh tempat yang lebih relevan dgn my situation is rooftop my apartment kalau dekat India. Kalau dekat Malaysia, I usually pergi lepak dekat this one bukit, not Bukit Beruk k (budak Shah Alam tau la kat mana) or kalau tkde kereta sangat, lepak celup kaki dalam kolam ikan kat rumah aku sambil cakap2 dengan ikan. The first pic ni is at my own little sweet escape, dekat rumah sendiri mengadap kolam ikan and cakap dengan ikan sorang2. The 2nd pic was taken when I was in Colombo. Cewah cam glamour je kan. Colombo tu Sri Lanka la kak.
7. Sharing is caring. Of course, aku bukan jenis yang simpan all my problem to myself. I usually cerita dekat my besties and boyfriend. Ala I know cam annoying je nak layan my sentimental tapiiiiiii, tak kira, korang layan gak. Haha. Paling rare occasion, and if I do it means aku memang stress yang amat sangat, is to share it with my mom. Tapi tengok season gak, kekadang mak aku ni leh je bagi her words of wisdom, memang aku leh lega la after that, tapi kalau kena words of wisdom tu nak nyalahkan aku je keje, bertambah2 la stress aku. Haha ni susah ade mak unpredictable ni. Dahla garang cam askar. Tapi memang takdenye aku nak cite problem kat my dad (except problem kete and duit ar) sebab my dad adalah orang yang paling tak reti menenteramkan orang lain. Dia dengar problem kau pun dah cukup bagus, selalunya dia tertidur atau buat2 bz ngan benda lain bila dengar aku mengadu domba -_-"

Tapi whatever it is, lepas dah puas release tension, lepas dah puas sumpah seranah, lepas dah puas bersentimental, always remember, stress is a tool that helps you be a better person. Stress prepares you for the worst. It's okay la nak menggelupur release tension la, nangis sampai lebam la, but in the end, move on la weiii.

Hehe pandainye aku cakap. Semoga stress management aku improve lepas ni. Amin ;p